Caught Up In You 4: The Point of No Return (Edgeplay)

by Jenna McCormick

  “I’ll keep it down for you then.” It would be worth the distraction to give him something so simple.

  Connor pulls away and I ladle up the soup then serve him some of the bread. He rises when I return to the table and pulls out my chair for me, helping seat me. I didn’t know men actually did that outside of old movies.

  “Would you like some wine? I brought a halfway decent zinfandel.”

  “Is that all my dinner rates? Halfway decent?” I tease.

  He shoots me a sheepish look. “Sorry. I picked it up at the liquor store on the way home. I didn’t want to run into Rochelle and endure another lecture.”

  “What’s she lecturing you about?” I ask as he pops the cork.

  “Dubai, she wants me to bring you next week.”

  I take the glass from him and raise it to my lips, hoping to hide my dismay. I’m going to kill her. “What did you tell her?”

  One corner of his mouth quirks up. “That I’d discuss it with you.”

  “Wine’s pretty good.” Not that I know a blessed thing about wine.

  He sets his spoon down, holds my gaze. “Baily, do you want to come with me?”

  Oh no, he isn’t going to put all this on me, make it like I just invited myself along. “Do you want me to come with you?”

  Dark eyebrows draw together “Of course I do. I just thought you wouldn’t want to leave your grandfather.”

  I close my eyes. “Oh.”

  Idiot. Snarkerella hisses. Here he was being considerate and you’re giving him the third degree. Are you determined to screw this up?

  A chair scrapes and his heat washes over me like a blast furnace, warming all the cold parts inside me. “Talk to me.”

  Forcing my lids up, I turn to face him. “I didn’t want to just inflict myself on you. It was really all her idea anyway.”

  Lacing his fingers through mine, he raises my hand to his lips, where he brushes a gentle kiss across my knuckles. “I always want you with me. Don’t ever doubt that.”

  “It’s just that there’s so much I don’t know about you.” Appetite gone, I push my plate aside.

  “I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” His expression turns wry. “At least what I can.”

  Licking my lips, I whisper, “Okay. Tell me about your meeting with the DOD. Unless it’s classified.”

  Connor frowns. “You want to hear about work?”

  “Yeah. I want you to tell me about your day, then I’ll tell you about mine. Like a real couple.”

  “We are a real couple,” he insists.

  Pulling my hand back I rise from the table intending to head into the other room. It’s difficult to think with him so close. “I don’t feel like one. I have all these questions and every time I think we’ve turned a corner something shanghais us.”

  Connor pulls me down onto his lap. “Easy, baby, it’s all right. We have time. ”

  It’s a testament to the sturdy shaker construction that the chair supports our combined weight. It feels so incredibly good to be held by him, one arm wrapped around me holding me securely and the other rubbing my back in a soothing gesture. He always knows what I need, even before I do.

  “The meeting went well. I was on my A-game and I think the contract is in the bag. We’ll hear in a couple of days.”

  This is exactly what I wanted, to hear the nuts and bolts parts of his business. To know what it is he does when we’re not together. To be treated like a real partner, not just a sex toy. “More. Tell me more.”

  I relax into him as he tells me all about his day, the ins and outs, the people he had to strong arm and those who’ve made themselves invaluable during negotiation. The competition, which he waves off dismissively, and the government employees who he deems “a tough sell, but will come around.” I hang on his every word.

  “Now I want to hear about yours.” He nuzzles my cheek with his nose.

  “It was…weird.” I murmur, thinking about Pops. I know hearing about my sick grandfather isn’t Connor’s favorite thing, but the odd scene from earlier keeps playing through my mind like a commercial on a loop.

  “How so?”

  “You should eat before the soup gets cold.” I move to get up but he keeps me trapped between his body and the table.

  Taking my chin in his hand, he turns me to face him. “I’ll heat it up. Now talk to me.”

  Those eyes could compel me to walk off a bridge. I’d started this little question and answer session, it’s only fair that I play by the rules.

  “Well, I went to see Pops, like usual. He was vacant, you know, like the lights are on but nobody’s home? I was telling him about how we were back together and the next thing I know he freaked out on me.”

  Connor’s arms tightened around me. “Did he hurt you?”

  I shake my head. “No, he wouldn’t do that. Ease up before you squeeze the stuffing out of me.”

  Relaxing his grip infinitesimally he says, “Tell me exactly what happened.”

  I really didn’t want to, not like this. Giving him my decision ought to be magical, not as a sidebar to some bizarre story of my grandfather’s mental breakdown. Maybe if I fudge it just a little.…

  As though reading my mind Connor prompts, “Word for word, Baily.”

  Shoot. “I told him you’d asked me to marry you. Told him that I was going to say yes. He said no. ”

  “You mentioned my name, specifically?” Connor’s eyes narrow.

  “Yes.” If I expected him to leap to his feet and hop up and down I was in for a disappointment. “Did you hear what I said?”

  He’s gone, checked out almost the same way Pops does. Shoot, is he transitioning to Connor the Dom? In a panic I shove against him, wanting to be a good arm’s length away but I’m stuck between a solid man and a sturdy table. Infusing my voice with as much command as I could muster I say, “Connor, let me go now.”

  He blinks and instantly pushes away from the table. “Sorry, love. I was just puzzling something out.”

  Now that he’s back in control, I smack his shoulder. “Don’t do that. I thought you were checking out on me.”

  Obviously preoccupied, Connor sets me on my feet, rises and moves to the living area. Hurt at being dismissed, I clear the table. Maybe it’s better that he didn’t hear me. Do I really want to tie myself to a man that runs hot and cold for the rest of my life?

  “I need to make a few calls.” Donning his coat, Connor is already fussing with his cellphone when he ducks through my small door and out into the night.

  Suddenly exhausted I leave the dishes and pour myself a second glass of mediocre wine and curl up in my chair and a half. As I watch the fire consume the split logs, relentlessly attacking the wood until it collapses I think I know exactly how that used-up piece of dead tree feels.

  What the hell am I missing?

  ****

  The hypnotic dance of the flame and the warmth eases me into a light doze. The crinkle of paper cuts through my hazy dreamscape, grounding me back in my living room. I blink as I see Connor going through my notebook.

  “Hey!” Shoving myself out of the chair I snatch it from his hands. “Snoop much?”

  “It was lying right here.” He indicates the split log coffee table. “I saw my name and was curious.”

  “Nosy is more like it.” Flicking back to the top sheet where I’d drawn little hearts around his name like a lovesick dumbass, I turn away. “I’m going to bed.”

  He grips my wrist. “Do you want to talk about this? You have a ton of questions there.”

  A few hours ago that was all I wanted to do but now he’s spoiled my enthusiasm with his lackluster response. “Not tonight.”

  He follows me into my bedroom and leans against the doorway. “Are you upset with me?” His tone implies he has no clue why I would be.

  “Yeah, I kinda am. I was hoping for a little less indifference when answering a man’s proposal.”

  His posture shifts suddenly, he stands straight up, squares his sho
ulders. “When did you answer?”

  Throwing up my hands, I move toward the bathroom. “I don’t want to do this tonight.”

  Before I realize what’s happening, Connor tackles me onto the bed, pinning my hands up above my head. “No way, Baily. No way am I letting you brush this off. If you’re talking about that little off-the-cuff remark that you tossed into your tale with as much meaning as tomatoes into a salad, that doesn’t constituent a real answer and I am not apologizing for not taking it as a real response. I deserve more than that. We deserve better.”

  Completely pinned under his furious form I lay like an antelope taken down by a lion on the savannah. Any second now, he’ll start snacking on my hindquarters and there isn’t a thing I could do to prevent it.

  He closes his eyes and drops his head to my chest as though the weight of the world is crushing him down. “You asked for time. Time is what I’m trying to give you. Don’t make any hasty decisions on my account. There’s no rush, right?”

  “Right,” I whisper.

  He rolls to his side and stares at the ceiling. “It was too soon to ask you for forever. I realized that earlier when you were talking about us not being a normal couple. Your list of questions confirmed it. But I don’t do things by half measures, Baily. I see something I want and I go after it. It’s who I am and I won’t apologize for it.”

  “I wouldn’t ask you to.” I love his tenacity, the dogged pursuit of me.

  He turns his head and locks his gaze with mine. “Don’t tell me something that you’re going to regret later, even if you think it’s what I want to hear, all right? Because while I can give you time to make up your mind, I don’t think I could take it if you changed your mind.”

  My teeth sink into my lower lip as shame heats my face. I had been about to do exactly that, answer on a whim.

  “Ask me some of your questions.” He encourages. His suit jacket and tie are off and he rolled up his sleeves, the picture of a business man and the end of his day.

  Searching my mind for the most important one I murmur. “You don’t want children.”

  “That’s not a question.” His lips twitch slightly.

  “Please don’t be cute. Is that just for now or for always?”

  Searching my face he asks quietly, “If I said for always would that be a deal breaker for you?”

  Would I rather have Connor or some faceless future man and the houseful of children I’d always imagined? Deep in my heart I knew the truth but I’m not ready to admit it to either him or myself. “I’m not sure.”

  He nods as if that’s the answer he’d expected. “Neither am I. You know about the kidnapping. Even the possibility that something similar could happen to a helpless child under my protection makes me ill.”

  Frowning, I sit up. “You make it sound like it’s a given that someone will try to kidnap any child we have. It’s not a given, Connor.”

  “And there might be no way to prevent it. My mother got hooked on oxycodone when I went missing. She OD’d twice, trying to numb the pain. What would something like that do to you?”

  Swallowing I shake my head. “I can’t even imagine.”

  “And then when I was rescued and I had no answers? Can you fathom how frustrating that was for her, for everyone. Including me.”

  His fear is embedded in every molecule of his body, so deeply ingrained that I know one conversation won’t help. But he hasn’t said no, not absolutely and I can chip away at it, a little bit at a time.

  Connor sits up and pulls me to him. “I have to get going.”

  “You’re not staying over?” My disappointment chokes me. What a crummy night.

  Rising, he shakes his head. “I wish I could. I’m heading to Washington DC at first light for a few days. Register for your classes. Send me your questions via email as they come to you and I’ll answer as best I can. ”

  I walk with him to the door. “I’ll miss you.”

  He brushes his lips over mine. “Good. Just remember all deals are final, no substitutions, exchanges or refunds.”

  Chapter Four

  To: CLEdge

  From: Ladygardner79

  Subject: So what about Pops?

  Connor,

  Was up all night thinking about what you said. You’re right, I do need to ask more questions before I make any forever kind of decisions. I owe you an apology for my tantrum. Chalk it up to not enough sleep, too much cheap wine or whatever. Bottom line, I am sorry for being a bitch and giving you a hard time.

  I guess right now my biggest concern is the basic stuff like how my life will change. Yours too. You’re used to being on your own and I wonder how I’ll fit in to your busy schedule. I spent a lot of time thinking about my grandfather too. He’s getting worse by the day and needs full time care. I only have enough saved up to keep him at Golden Oaks for a few more months and then I’ll have to make other arrangements.

  So I guess the main question is, do you want to keep homebasing at the Rosemont or did you have other plans? I need to know as soon as possible if you wanted to move because I can’t stand the thought of being too far away from him.

  Don’t mean to dump all this on you first thing in the morning but it’s weighing on me.

  Love,

  Baily

  From: CLEdge

  To: Ladygardner79

  RE: So what about Pops?

  Baily,

  Do you ever base a decision on yourself and what you want? It doesn’t always have to be about other people. That being said, do not waste one more second worrying about your grandfather’s health care expenses. I thought you might like to bring him home to live in your cottage. We could hire a full time nurse to look out for him. It would certainly be less disruptive than having him wander off every few weeks from that sorry excuse for a nursing home. In addition, you wouldn’t need to leave the estate to see him.

  I have no plans to leave the Rosemont anytime soon. I want my wife to feel settled in her home.

  Big meeting in a few.

  Connor Edge

  CEO Edge Industries

  P.S. Feel free to give me a hard time whenever the mood takes you.

  To: CLEdge

  From: Ladygardner79

  Re: So what about Pops?

  Mr. Edge,

  I don’t know whether I want to kiss you or kick you. My grandfather’s illness is not DISRUPTIVE. It’s tragic. And Golden Oaks was the absolute best facility for Alzheimer’s patients I could afford so I don’t appreciate you maligning it. Some of us weren’t born with your vast resources.

  Of course, that won’t stop me from taking shameless advantage of your financial assets, even if you do get your way in keeping me captive on the estate. It’s not what I want but I know how to compromise for the greater good.

  Hope the meeting went well.

  Love, Baily

  From: CLEdge

  To: Ladygardner79

  Subject: Wrath

  Ms. Sinclair,

  The last thing I wanted to do was provoke your wrath. I was simply attempting to ease your mind, not provoke you. And don’t be insulted, I want you exactly how you are, compromising and understanding soul and all.

  Meeting could have gone better. Another day was anticipated by I find myself eager to get back home to the fiery redhead who haunts my dreams.

  For what it’s worth, I vote for a kiss.

  Connor Edge

  CEO Edge Industries

  To: CLEdge

  From: Ladygardner79

  Re: Wrath

  Connor,

  Sorry the meeting didn’t go well. Even sorrier you aren’t here so we can kiss and make up. Not sorry I’m haunting you. You must have done something to deserve it.

  Love,

  Baily

  From: CLEdge

  To: Ladygardner79

  Subject: Soon

  With any luck I’ll be back soon and you can haunt me in person. Though I tend to live without regret, I’m sorry I didn’t stay with you the o
ther night or convince you to come with me.

  Missing you fiercely,

  Connor Edge

  CEO Edge Industries

  To: CLEdge

  From: Ladygardner79

  Subject: News

  Connor,

  I’m officially registered for the spring semester! Have I said thank you yet for helping me achieve this dream? You do know how to compromise after all.

  Love,

  Baily

  From: CLEdge

  To: Ladygardner79

  Re: News

  Baily,

  Of course I know how to compromise. Most of the time I chose not to. You may thank me by not bamboozling my security teams into letting you have your way and walzing around in public waiting for some lunatic to take a shot at you. Remember there’s still someone out there who tried to kill you. I need you safe.

  To: CLEdge

  From: Ladygardner79

  Subject: Questions

  Connor,

  Do you have any questions for me? Even though you are a world class snoop, I invite you to ask me anything you want. Though I’m a simple creature and I think you know the important stuff and where my priorities lie.

  Love,

  Baily

  P.S. There is no bamboozling, just a quick trip to the grocery store. Once. But I will cede to your wishes. For now.

  From: CLEdge

  To: Ladygardner79

  Re: Questions

  The only question I can come up with is why did the housekeeper find a bowl with raw ginger in one of the spare rooms?

  Curiously yours,

  Connor

  To: CLEdge

  From: Ladygardner79

  Re: Questions

  Um, pass. Suffice it to say it was the other guy’s idea. Best two out of three?

  Love,

  Baily

  From: CLEdge

  To: Ladygardner79

  Re: Questions

  Baily,

  For a simple creature, you have a plethora of secrets. Good thing I am a world class snoop. You and the other guy need to clue me in to what goes on when I’m not around. My imagination is driving me to distraction.