Warwick: Episode 3: Galactic Vangeance

by Mike Ploof

  “I want that memory chip,” he said with heavy emphasis.

  “Why?” said Purshia. “Because your name’s on it?”

  “The jig is up,” I said. “We’ve seen what’s on that memory chip. We know you’re part of this sordid cabal.”

  “Where is Targar?” he asked, big eyes narrowing.

  “He’s somewhere safe.”

  “I want him dead, and I want you to bring the memory chip to me.”

  “Don’t worry, we’re on our way to see you, but it won’t be to give you the damned chip.”

  “I want to show you something,” he said, and the image changed.

  I sucked in a shocked breath when I beheld Earth. The camera panned out to reveal a sinister-looking starship in orbit over the Ocean.

  “What the fuck is this?” I demanded.

  “That is a Faerkon weather-attack bomber,” he said with a grin. “Do you know what that is, Sheriff?”

  I tightened my lips and said nothing.

  “Extinguish Targar and bring the memory chip to me, or I will instruct the Faerkons to drop their cargo. Do you know what their cargo is, Sheriff?”

  “Enough with the cheesy villain talk,” I barked. “Spit it out.”

  His expression changed from glee to outrage. “If I order them to drop the bomb, the state you call Florida will be wiped out by a category six hurricane in less than forty-eight hours.”

  “There’s no such thing as a cat six.”

  He looked upward into a gleeful grin, like the Grinch having a terribly brilliant idea. “This will be the first. The clock is ticking, Sheriff.”

  The view returned to the scene outside our hotel, and I tried not to blast it with a hundred rounds.

  “Harry, we must remain calm,” said Ella.

  I paced the room, wringing my hands. A hovercraft’s lights washed over the window. They became brighter, and an amplified voice said, “Drop your weapons!”

  I produced two laser guns and stalked toward the window, but Ella grabbed my arm.

  “Harry!” she said, jerking me back.

  “What!”

  “They are not the enemy.”

  I exhaled at great length, then nodded. She was right, and I was glad she’d brought me to my senses. “Remember who the real enemy is,” Haymitch had said to Katniss in the second Hunger Games movie.

  Val ran to the door and opened it. After looking left and right, she said, “Clear.”

  We hurried after her and located the stairs to the roof. I peered out and saw the sky was swarming with drones and armed, emergency hovercars.

  “We can’t fly off the roof; too many damned ships.” I ran back down the stairs with the girls in tow. As we hit the landing, the elevator at the end of the long hall opened, and about a dozen armed law-enforcement officers filed out.

  “Shields!” I cried as mine flared to life on the back of my right hand.

  The officers opened fire, and we ducked. Laser rounds thudded into our shields and vanished. The sound was deafening.

  Val enabled her nanobomb gun, and I shook my head. “We can’t kill them. They’re caught up in Zex’s bullshit.”

  “Then how do we get out of here?” she asked as more rounds slammed into our shields.

  “We impersonate them,” I said, and the girls grinned. “On three we charge. Put them down, but try not to hurt them too bad.”

  “I swear I will not kill anyone,” said Val in her Terminator voice.

  “One, two, three!”

  I enabled my jetpack and shot down the hall like a bullet, slamming into the officers with my shield and knocking them down like bowling pins. I pummeled those close to me until they were unconscious, and the girls jumped the rest. We’d laid them all out in about ten seconds flat, but more would be coming.

  “Change your appearance to a Finnarian,” I said as I undressed one of the officers.

  They caught on quick, and we instructed our nanobots to change our appearance as we put on the sleeping officers’ gear. We dragged their unconscious bodies into our room, and using line from the grappling hooks, bound them all together.

  “Ella, Purshia, your two pretend you’re injured. Val and I will drag you out of here and act like we’re part of the unit. If all goes well, no one will catch on.” I slapped the visor down on my cop helmet and threw Purshia over my shoulder.

  Val did the same with Ella, and we hurried out of the room and into the elevator. When we got to the bottom floor, we found about a hundred officers in the lobby.

  “Hold your fire!” I yelled as I feigned an injury and limped out of the elevator carrying Purshia, whose arms swung limply.

  A medic raced over to us and tried to relieve me and Val of our loads, but I freaked out and started yelling. “I told her I was getting her out of here. Get away from me!”

  Val followed me out of the hotel. About fifty police hovercars clogged the streets. I spotted what I assumed was an ambulance and ran toward it with Purshia over my shoulder. The medics ran ahead of me and opened the big double doors, and I carried her in and laid her down on a high-tech stretcher that floated next to another one in the back. Val laid Ella down on that one.

  “We’ll take it from here,” said a medic as he got in with me.

  I punched him in the face, knocking him out. Val nailed his buddy and pulled the doors closed as I made my way to the front of the hovercar. I desperately searched for a manual setting for the damn thing as confused officers walked toward us.

  “Here it is,” I muttered and took off slowly, not wanting to raise further suspicions, but those nosey officers ran back to their squad hovercars.

  “Son of a bitch!”

  “What’s wrong?” said Ella. She moved to the front and sat in the passenger seat.

  “They’re on to us.” I gunned it and pulled into an alley, narrowly avoiding scraping the sides of the buildings we moved between.

  Refuse littered the alley, but luckily there were no bums to run over. I hooked a left out of the alley, flying onto a congested, three-lane road, and slammed into a big hovertruck. We bounced off and kept going. Behind us, lights flashed and sirens wailed.

  “The drones are coming,” said Ella, craning her neck to see into the air through the windshield.

  Val enabled her laser sword and cut a wide circle in the roof above the stretchers. She pushed the piece of roof out, and sunlight spilled in. She opened fire on the drones, and one crashed into a building on our right.

  “Watch the collateral damage!” I yelled.

  “It’s us or them!” she yelled back and fired again.

  We were coming up to a traffic jam, and there was only one way to avoid it. I cranked the wheel, burst through a metal barrier, and flew off the road. The hovercar screamed as we floated over open space. We fell at least two stories and slammed onto a diagonal road, thankful the hovercar kept going.

  “That’ll buy us some time. Be ready to bail!”

  I turned down another ally and stood on the brakes. We rushed out of the vehicle, and I searched the sky for drones. I didn’t see any, but they had to be on their way.

  “Engage nanosuit!” I commanded the nanobots, and it formed under the police armor, ripping it to shreds like the Hulk’s clothes.

  The girls did the same while I considered our next move. There was what looked like a manhole cover in the street by the ally, and I ran over to it. With my enhanced strength, I lifted it like it was an aluminum pizza plate and popped my head in the hole.

  It was a sewer all right, but it would have to do.

  “Come on!” I urged the girls into the hole.

  Just as I was about to leap in after them, a group of drones came my way. I dropped into the hole and slipped the cover into place.

  “Enhance vision 100 percent.”

  The nanobots complied, and I could see the tunnel clearly. It ran north/ south, and I decided to go north, knowing it would take us out of the slums sooner. Luckily my nanosuit helmet kept out the rancid stink of all
the alien shit.

  “This way!” I leapt into the air and flew through the tunnel like superman.

  Light appeared behind us as we sped away, and I glanced back to see drones that looked like dogs dropping into the sewer. We flew as fast as we could in those cramped quarters, but the drone dogs caught up quickly.

  Val was trailing the rest of us, and she launched a few bombs at them. The tunnel erupted into flames, and mechanical yelps rang out. When we shot out of the smoke and fire, the dogs were no longer following.

  Ten minutes later we emerged from another manhole cover into the middle of a shopping district. I flagged down a hovercar that looked like a taxi, and we fell inside.

  “Where to?” a fat alien who smelled like onions and looked like a man-sized racoon asked.

  “The shipyard.”

  “Cash or credit?”

  “Laser gun,” I said and placed the barrel against his head.

  “Wait a minute,” he said, turning to get a better look at me despite the gun aimed at his eyeball. “You’re Harry Warwick!”

  “Just drive!”

  “Yes, sir,” he said with a smile, as if being hijacked by me was the highlight of his year.

  We started moving, and thankfully I didn’t see anyone following us.

  “You guys are all over the news,” he said, ogling me in the rearview.

  “Keep your eyes on the road.”

  “Did you really take out Targar?”

  “Don’t believe everything you hear.”

  “Well, I hope you did. That fuck needed to be put down. Look, I don’t believe the shit they’re saying about you. I’ve been following you guys since I got my hands on a bootleg copy of your performance in the arena. You people are heroes.”

  “Ah, that’s so sweet,” said Purshia.

  The racoon-man’s eyes widened joyfully.

  “You need to get off-planet, right?”

  “What’s it to you?” Val asked.

  “I can help you find a ship. I know a guy.”

  “You’d better not be fucking with me,” I warned. “You’ve seen what happens to people who screw around with Team Warwick.”

  “Oh, I know,” he said, laughing. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m on your side. Like you said in the arena, fuck the greys!”

  “What’s your name?”

  “Rickraw, at your service,” he said.

  “All right, Rickraw, take us to our ship, and we’ll make it worth your while.”

  “You already have. Wait until the boys hear about this!”

  Rickraw took us to a part of town that wasn’t exactly the slums, but it was pretty shady looking. There were no skyscrapers here, but there were spaceships and lots of them. It looked like a trading post to unload cargo, much of which I assumed was illegal.

  “The law doesn’t come around here much,” said Rickraw, putting the hovercar in park. “See that red spaceship over there?”

  “Yeah.”

  “The guys who owns it is a Rhinack named Captain Phick, but don’t let his looks fool you. He’s a great guy. You tell him Rickraw sent you.”

  “Thanks,” I said and started to get out, then stopped and glanced back. “And you never saw us.”

  “Saw who?” He winked.

  We went over to the red spaceship, and a male who looked like a hairy rhino standing erect trod heavily down the ramp and eyed us warily.

  “You Captain Phick?” I asked.

  He glanced over my shoulder and scowled. “Don’t tell me Rickraw brought the most wanted criminals on the planet here.”

  “Okay, I won’t tell you that,” I said, mildly irritated.

  “We need a fast ship,” said Ella.

  “Yeah,” said Purshia. “The faster, the better.”

  Phick shook his head. “Out of the question. I’ve got a load of tarlon needs to be in—”

  “We’ll pay double,” said Ella.

  “That’s all well and fine, but you’re offering a one-time deal. I run this cargo every week.”

  “Triple then,” I said.

  “You don’t even know how much I get for the load.”

  “We’ll pay five million credits for a ride to Atlasaria.”

  “Five million?” he said skeptically. “I want half up front, meaning right now.”

  I glanced at Purshia, and she tapped at the air. “Account number?” He told her, and she typed it into her interface. “Done.”

  He took out a small tablet and swiped at it, then a big smile spread across his face. “Please step aboard, and welcome to the Crimson Star.”

  During the flight to Atlasaria, Purshia did some digging into Zex and found his home address in Imperial City. It turned out that the little worm lived in a penthouse on the top floor of a hotel a few blocks from the HIJ. I intended to pay him a visit as soon as we landed.

  The flight took less than a day, and we arrived at nighttime; the city’s bright lights lit up the clouds that lay heavily over it. Purshia paid Phick the other half of the five million, and we took a cab to the hotel across from the where Zex was staying. We paid for one night in a room facing the street, on the same level as his penthouse.

  “Now we wait,” I said as we stood at the window and watched his dark apartment.

  “I’m starving,” said Purshia. “Anyone want anything from the food replicator?”

  “I’ll have some of that blue fish and rice you’re always eating,” I told her.

  Ella and Val told her what they wanted, and we turned one of the couches so we could eat and watch Zex’s place at the same time. He must have been working a late shift, because he didn’t get home until the wee hours of the morning. We used Enhanced Sight to see what was going on when the lights came on in his place. After about half an hour of watching him slither around without seeing anyone else, I assumed he was alone.

  “Time to make our move,” I said and opened the big bay window. Luckily they weren’t like the ones in American that wouldn’t open. I guess suicide wasn’t a big issue here.

  We jumped out, engaged our jetpacks, and flew toward his hotel. As I approached, I noticed that he was watching a holoscreen in his big living room. I saw a flash of worm-like skin and droopy breasts on the screen, a weird tubular penis, and nearly gagged when I realized he was watching worm porn. I shattered one of the long windows with my laser gun, and we flew inside as he jumped out of his chair.

  I shoulder-slammed him into the wall, landed at his feet, and aimed my laser gun at him. “Surprise, motherfucker!”

  “Careful, Sheriff.” He coughed and groaned painfully. “I need only give the command, and the Faerkons will release the weather bomb.”

  “Call them off right now,” I said.

  He shook his head. “First give me the memory chip.”

  “Do you see the bigass gun pointed at your head?”

  “The Faerkons are monitoring my vitals,” he said with a grin that made me want to slap the shit out of him. “If you kill me, they have orders to release the bomb. Just give me the memory stick, and you can walk away from all this.”

  “And the slave trade?” I said. “You don’t intend to expose anything. You’re trying to save your ass.”

  “The memory stick,” he said as he rose from the floor and extended his hand. “Give it to me now or watch Florida be wiped off the map.”

  “Sorry, Zex. America doesn’t negotiate with terrorists.” I put a giant hole in his forehead with the laser gun. His eyes crossed, and he regarded me with a confused expression before falling over dead.

  “God, that felt good,” I said and blew on the barrel.

  “Harry, why did you do that?” Purshia asked. “Now they will release the storm on your world.”

  Zex’s wristband glowed, and a bestial voice said, “Orders received.”

  I ripped the wristband off his arm. “Abort, abort mission. Do you hear me?”

  “Package delivered,” said the voice, and I realized it was automated.

  “If
the Faerkons can make a bomb that creates a hurricane, they must have one that can stop it,” I said in desperation.

  “I don’t know, Harry,” said Purshia. “That seems unlikely.”

  “You should have just given him the memory chip,” said Ella.

  “You heard what Harry said.” Val straightened. “America doesn’t negotiate with terrorists.”

  “That’s right, Val,” I said. “And besides, with this chip we can take down the largest slave ring in the galaxy. Hundreds of thousands will be liberated.”

  “If we put it in the right hands,” said Ella.

  “I’m going to leave that to you. I want ten copies made as soon as we get back to the ship, then I want you to find out what news organizations might actually have the balls to publish it. Send a copy to each of them. We’ll keep the original.”

  “Okay,” she said, looking concerned.

  “As for the hurricane… Val, I want you to find the Phaerkons’ top scientist in the weather weapons field.”

  “I can do that,” she said.

  “Alright. Let’s get our damned ship from the HIJ and get the hell out of here.”

  Under cover of dark, we flew to the HIJ hangar and landed on the roof of a building across the road to scope out the place. There were drones and guards everywhere, but they moved in a predictable pattern, which was either a terrible bit of defense planning or a ruse. The hangar was as long as a football field and twice as wide. Our ship was at the far end. There were no guards around it, so I figured we hadn’t raised any alarm yet.

  “Looks like we can walk right in there and board the ship,” said Purshia.

  “Yeah, well, looks can be deceiving.”

  “Do you think it’s a trap?” Ella asked.

  “It is always a trap,” said Val.

  “I can get to the ship without being seen,” said Purshia and began undressing.

  “You would have to be nude to use your ability,” said Ella.

  “What about your nanoarm?” I asked. “Can you bend the light around that as well?”

  “No.” She handed Ella her clothes and twisted off her golden nanoarm.

  “Purshia, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said. “You’ll be defenseless.”

  “Well we can’t stand here holding our tits, can we?” she said with such candor that I burst out laughing. “Besides, the clock is ticking on your Florida.”