Dirty Boys: Bad Boy Rock Star Romance Box Set

by Jade C. Jamison

  We went to the kitchen, but I didn’t eat a donut. Instead, I took my coffee and went out on the back porch. I was able to drink coffee and smoke a cigarette, but I didn’t know that I was up to doing anything else. Scott joined me but he didn’t force me to talk. After a while, though, he touched my hand. “You sure Jim didn’t do anything?”

  His words touched my heart. The tender look on his face, his eyes full of worry told me what I needed to know. But I still had to process my stormy emotions, and being with him right now didn’t allow me that. “Yes—other than what you saw. It’s hard to explain. I just…need to go home for a while. It’s not you. I just need some time.”

  He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t blame yourself for Jim’s bad behavior.”

  “I’m not. But I’m sorry I didn’t get back sooner. Sorry I left in the first place.” He kissed me on the forehead but then held me close.

  I went home and lay in bed all day, wondering why the tears wouldn’t fall, wondering why I felt numb.

  Reminding myself I didn’t deserve this. Not one bit.

  Chapter Twenty

  Two days later, I was at Scott’s house in the evening. I knew his shift wouldn’t be over for another hour, but I was hoping to catch David. I hadn’t had as many chances to see him now that both he and I were in budding relationships.

  The last two days, though, I’d kept to myself. I’d called in sick to work two days in a row and today was my day off. Tomorrow, I’d have to face the music. If there wasn’t the possibility of dealing with Jim, I would have been able to handle it—but coming face to face with my perpetrator outside a court of law seemed daunting.

  This had been harder for me to process than it should have been, but Jim’s attack had brought back a memory I’d long since forgotten—one of my husband forcing himself on me on a night when I hadn’t been feeling well. How the hell had that escaped my mind? So I was dealing not just with Jim’s attempt but also Barry’s actual rape of me. Wife or not, I’d said no and it hadn’t mattered to him.

  But life goes on and I knew I couldn’t spend the rest of mine holed up in my tiny house. I had art to create and share and sell. I had a man in my life who made me feel good and was beginning to seriously feel like the one. And I had a friend I’d neglected for a while that I needed to connect with.

  I got lucky: David was home and Gerald wasn’t there.

  At first, I’d thought I wanted to pour my heart out, but David pulled me in his arms when I got to the door. Instead of words flooding out of my mouth, tears began to fall from my eyes. “Oh, honey.” David brought me in the house and to the kitchen table where he scooted our two chairs together and simply rested my head on his shoulder so the onslaught of tears could rain unfettered.

  I don’t know how long I cried, but it felt like years of tears made their way through my eyes and aching heart—and I felt cleansed, even while my eyes hurt, my nose plugged, and my head begged for sleep.

  Handing me another tissue, David asked, “Feel better?”

  “Yeah, I think I really do.”

  “Need a drink?”

  I let out a long sigh. “I’d love some water.”

  He walked over to the cabinet and pulled out two glasses. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  No words would come out of my mouth as I tried to decide if I did. Finally, though, I shook my head. My heart had already said everything I needed to.

  “That’s okay, honey. You know you can if you ever need to.” I nodded, taking the glass of ice water he handed me. “But do you mind if I do?”

  I had no idea what he was talking about, so I shrugged and took a sip from my glass.

  “Scott beat the shit out of Jim at work yesterday, and it took me, Ed, and Dustin to pull him off him. I thought they were gonna call the cops.”

  “Oh, my God.”

  David nodded, a serious look on his face. “I’m pretty sure Jim went to urgent care. That or the ER. He was fucked up, girlfriend.” I didn’t know what I’d expected, but it hadn’t been that, and the look on my face told David all he needed to know. “He’ll live. He still has all his teeth and stuff, okay?” I let the air out of my lungs I’d been holding in. “But that wasn’t the worst of it.”

  Oh, fuck. What the hell had I missed hiding in my hole? “What happened?”

  “When we were pulling Scott off Jim, Jim was doing his usual bullshit, telling Scott he was nothing, twisting things so he could shift the blame like he always does. Given time, Scott normally would forgive him, but I don’t think that’s going to happen this time.” David took a sip of water, holding his index finger up as if to tell me he was getting to the point. “He said to Jim, ‘You’re dead to me’ and then told him if he ever laid another finger on you, he was going to kill him.”

  My insides rumbled, and I didn’t know what to think of that. Part of me felt safe and loved that Scott wanted to protect me no matter what—but the other part of me just couldn’t understand the violence, couldn’t endorse it.

  Feared it.

  “Please tell me nothing else happened.”

  “Scott worked today and Jim had the day off.”

  “That doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Scott was done, Casey. I don’t think you got what I was saying.” I tilted my head, trying to figure out what he was talking about. “Scott’s cut Jim completely out of his life. This guy was his brother, his best friend, and he’s done with him. I didn’t think I’d ever see that happen.”

  “Really?”

  “Oh, my God, yes. They were like two peas in a pod, Casey. Didn’t you know that? They did everything together.”

  “You make it sound like they were the same person.”

  “Well, no. And ever since Jim got married and Scott joined Pain and Agony, I know they’ve grown apart, but they were like brothers.”

  “I think Scott told me that before.” No matter how toxic and vile I thought Jim was, I hadn’t wanted to come between the two men.

  “Don’t blame yourself, Casey. Scott made that decision.” Had David jumped in my head? “I think he’d been heading there anyway. That was part of why he and I got a place together. He’d been living with Jim and Julie and shit there was getting way too weird. Scott wanted to get out and I wanted my own place, so it was kind of a natural.”

  “Can you tell me about Wendy then?”

  “What? What about her?”

  “About her and Scott.”

  “Oh, that. They dated a while—and oh.” David’s eyes grew wide. “Well, I guess there was something going on between her and Scott and Jim and things fell apart after that.” I didn’t want all the gory details, so I just nodded. “She started sleeping with Jim without Scott around. That did it.”

  “God, the guy’s married. What’s wrong with him?”

  “Julie’s just as bad, girlfriend. Don’t think she’s not. She’s usually in on the action. I don’t know why she wasn’t that time.”

  I shuddered, believing that made her an accessory to Jim’s disgusting behavior. If she didn’t condemn it, she condoned it.

  With my back to the living room, I only heard rather than saw the front door when it opened, but I knew what that meant. So I glanced down at myself in my oversized white t-shirt with sleeves so long they covered my hands to the knuckles, gray sweatpants decorated with flecks of various colors of paint, and my hair pulled back in a ponytail. While I didn’t look like a model thanks to my clothing, I was pretty sure my face looked like a wreck after my crying jag.

  If I didn’t scare Scott after that, nothing would.

  Scott came in the kitchen. “Casey, I saw your car out front.” He sat down next to me. “You doin’ okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You okay if I shower and change clothes real fast?”

  “Of course.”

  He stroked my cheek with his thumb before looking at David. “Hey, cuz.”

  “Thanks for th
at. I was beginning to think I was chopped liver.”

  Scott gave him an amused look before getting up and grabbing a beer out of the fridge. Popping the lid, he took a swig before setting it on the table. “Be back soon.”

  David and I didn’t say a word as Scott made his way upstairs. The silence was comfortable, though, and David wrapped an arm around my shoulders, perhaps offering me another chance to cry.

  But I was done.

  Soon, we could hear the water running upstairs. “So tell me what’s been going on with you and Gerald.” I was ready to let some shit go—so it was time to change topics entirely.

  And David filled my head with visions of love and devotion and even lust, even though he and Gerald hadn’t been dating too long. He was busy telling me about seeing Gerald nude for the first time when Scott came downstairs.

  “TMI, my man.”

  David’s face lit up, an ornery smile covering his face in Cheshire Cat fashion. “What?”

  “You know what. Casey doesn’t want to hear about what you and Gerald do.”

  I giggled. “I don’t know. It’s kind of interesting…”

  “See? Putting words into her mouth.”

  “In that case,” Scott said, picking up his beer off the table, “I’ll leave you two on your own.”

  David cackled. “Oh, please. I need to call that man and maybe engage in a little phone sex.” Jumping up from the table, he bounded toward the stairs.

  “Again, TMI, man.” Scott sat next to me at the table as David left our sight. “Did you want a beer?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  “So…what’s up?”

  I searched his deep green eyes. “Something I’ve been thinking about but I don’t know what I should do. Do you think I should file a police report? You know, file charges against Jim?”

  He took a long swig of his beer and stared at the bottle. “I don’t know, Casey. That’s up to you. If you’re asking if I’d have a problem with it, no, I wouldn’t. You need to do whatever will make you feel better.”

  “Well, for Julie’s sake, I don’t want to. But I’m afraid he might do it again.”

  “Not to you he won’t.”

  I wasn’t going to ask because I knew why he said that. I just hoped Scott had scared him shitless enough that he wouldn’t force himself on any other woman ever.

  “Is there anything else I can tell you to help you make your decision?”

  “No. Thanks for your help.” I exhaled. “I don’t think I’ll do it.”

  “I’ll support whatever you decide.” He took my hand in his. “Do you want to stay here tonight?”

  “You don’t have to ask me twice.”

  Standing, he led me through the house to the couch in the living room where he held me close. We didn’t talk for a long time, and I started feeling drowsy curled up in his arms. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I think so.”

  He only held me, not trying anything else. I kissed him and finally fell asleep with my head on his chest. For the first time in days, I felt at peace.

  When I awoke, I was buried under the pitch-black curtain of midnight, unable to get my bearings. When I sat up in bed, I realized all my clothes were on, save my shoes. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I noticed I was in Scott’s room, and he was lying next to me asleep.

  Now that I felt safe and warm, I wanted to make love with him, wanted to erase the memories of that horrible morning. So I slipped my clothes off and dropped them off the side of the bed. I tried to remember how I got to bed earlier that night, but I couldn’t. All I could figure was that Scott had carried me from the couch to his bed. And he must have known I was still feeling vulnerable, because he hadn’t tried anything, hadn’t taken any of my clothes off, even to try to make me comfortable. That was part of the reason why I wanted him now—knowing how sensitive and caring he was deep down made me want him all the more. I snuggled up next to him where he lay on his back. I could barely hear his breathing but it was slow and rhythmic, and I wondered how long he’d been asleep.

  I ran my hand down his body, starting at his pec, and discovered he was only wearing underwear. That would be easy enough to remedy in good time. Bringing my hand back up his chest, I ran my fingers across it and brought my lips to his neck, leaving little kisses along his jaw. Then I ran my fingers up and down his thigh, coming close to his cock without actually touching it. After a bit, I brushed against it, but only because I wanted to see if what I was doing was working.

  It was.

  About that time, I felt his arm move up against my waist, and that was all the further encouragement I needed. I sat up to straddle him, still kissing his neck. His voice was gravelly. “What are you doing up?”

  “Shhh,” I whispered in his ear. I continued kissing his neck, just teasing him, heating him up, waking him more.

  But I was unable to control myself and my hips gyrated against his hardness without any conscious intention. Winding his hands through the hair at the base of my neck, Scott encouraged me to bring my mouth up from kissing his chest to colliding with his. Then he rolled over on top of me, completely awake. Taking a nipple in his mouth, he caused me to arch my back and sigh. His hand trailed down my abdomen to my slit, and I felt him slide a finger inside me. “Jesus, you’re ready…”

  “So fuck me, Scott.”

  He didn’t need to be told twice. A heavy sigh escaped my lips as he filled me entirely. I was already close, and I thought he was, too. We were both trying to be quiet in the emptiness of the night, and somehow that made what we were doing hotter. So as he moved inside me, my muscles tightened to the extreme before releasing, and even though I consciously forced myself to be quiet, I couldn’t help but vocalize my pleasure. I had very little control over my body as the orgasm shook me inside my head and then moved through my body in violent waves, but I managed to keep my voice turned down to a low rumble in my throat.

  He came when I stopped digging my nails into his lower back.

  It wasn’t until I rested my head on his chest afterward that I felt the wetness between my legs and realized we’d completely skipped the condom this time. What the fuck had I been thinking? Hadn’t I decided I was going to get on the pill just to be safe? Jesus. It was almost like I wanted to sabotage myself.

  But he felt so right, and before he fell back to sleep, he said, “You are…something else.” I kissed his chest. “I mean that in a good way.”

  “I figured.”

  “You are something special, Casey Williams.”

  I tried not to worry about my indiscretion because there was nothing I could do about it now. Instead, I focused on the warmth of his voice and the feeling of love that was consuming me.

  Jim’s attack was now in my past and I needed to keep it there.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  One Saturday night in late July, Pain and Agony played at the Lazy Days of Summer Festival in the Mountain Vista Park, the largest in Winchester. I stood in the front row—which implies that the concert was organized, but it was an utter mess. Most of the people there had brought lawn chairs or blankets and I hadn’t thought to do that, so I stood and headbanged near the concrete stage.

  Most of the older crowd had left earlier in the evening as the music had progressively turned heavier. Scott and I had wandered around the park and caught a few acts, but the hard rock didn’t come till darkness encroached.

  It was Winchester’s shadowy secret that something oppressive about its environment became a crucible that produced artists, musical and otherwise.

  After the show, the band loaded up their instruments and then we all stood at the back of the crowd to watch the final act, a deathcore band that I was surprised hadn’t been chased out of Winchester for being too subversive and too scary “for the children.” They were pretty good but not up to the level that Scott’s band was.

  Scott re-introduced me to Lee and then said, “Casey, this is Andrew, Dom, and Maverick, our other band members.” />
  I shook each of their hands. “Nice to meet you guys.”

  The last guy, Maverick, said, “It’s about time you introduced us to your girlfriend.”

  I felt wobbly. Was I Scott’s official girlfriend now?

  Yeah. Yeah, I was—and I liked the sound of it. He put his arm around my shoulders. “I didn’t want to subject her to you animals until I had to.”

  The guys all grumbled and laughed and rolled their eyes, feigning irritation, but I could tell from their interaction that they enjoyed each other’s company.

  Maverick then turned his attention to me. “We hear you’re a tattoo artist, Casey.”

  My grin must have eaten up my face. “Not exactly. But I do have a couple of pieces that’ll be displayed in a show at the Arts Center this fall. They’ve never actually been tattooed on anyone, but I’m trying my hand at that.”

  “That’s fucking awesome. I’ll have to check it out.”

  Lee raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think you need any more body art, my friend.”

  He was right. Maverick had two full sleeves and his lower legs were covered. His shorts ended at his knees and his torso was covered with a shirt, but considering he had tats crawling up his neck, I suspected Lee was right.

  “Are you kidding? You can never have too much body art.”

  Dom said, “So where’s Jim, dude?”

  Scott’s face dropped and he shook his head. He and I hadn’t talked about Jim since the night at his house when we’d engaged in unprotected sex—but there was nothing else to say. I never told Scott, but I’d talked with Ed and asked him to never schedule me with Jim again. He didn’t ask why but he’d respected my wishes. I’d only seen Jim twice in passing, and I sure as hell had nothing to say to the guy.