Damaged and the Cobra

by Bijou Hunter

  “No, not that. I just can’t be. I don’t want to be. I’m not a good enough person yet. With time, I could get better. With your help, I could stop being a failure.”

  “Shh…” I said, kissing her. “Nothing about you is a failure. You had a crap mom and a convoy of shit dads and you turned out wonderful. Just calm down.

  “I don’t want to know,” she begged.

  Having never seen Lark in such a state, I wasn’t sure what the right words were. I just knew what I needed.

  “I’m going to pick up a test,” I said and Lark immediately freaked.

  Before she could complain, I kissed her. Stealing her breath, I kissed Lark until her body softened in my arms. Leaning her back on the couch, I pulled my lips away then kissed the corners of her mouth lowered into a frown.

  “Just watch TV and I’ll be right back. We’ll find out then we’ll deal with the result. We’ll do it all together. Even if you can’t see how amazing you are, Lark, you must admit I’m pretty damn flawless. Just rely on my half of the team to get things done.”

  Lark gave me a little smile. “You are amazing, but…”

  “No, buts,” I said, kissing her. “I’m breaking a few speed limits then I’ll be back. You know how I’m always looking for a reason to speed.”

  Lark curled up on the couch and stared at where I turned on an episode of Friends from the DVR.

  “This is the one where Phoebe thinks her mom is a cat,” I said, having taped the shows for Lark. “I should be back by the end of the episode.”

  Lark stared up at me, looking exhausted in a way I’d never seen before. “I love you.”

  Kissing her cheek, I smiled even though I was struggling with my own fears. I left her to watch TV while I raced several blocks to the CVS. After a bored clerk helped me find the best tests and told me way too much information about when she used them for her kids, I returned home. Deputy Dickhead gave me an angry glare when I sped by. Even enjoying his anger, I lost my grin when I saw Lark staring blankly at the television.

  When I entered, she sat up and focused on the bag in my hand.

  “The chick at the store said it works better in the morning, but it might work tonight. I bought a few extra tests, just in case. Do you need to pee?”

  Lark stared at me then burst into laughter. “A few weeks into our relationship and we’re talking about peeing. Awesome.”

  Smiling, I set the bag down on the counter and joined her on the couch.

  “Did you ever meet your biological mom?” Lark asked and my smile disappeared.

  “A few years ago. She’s nice, but I didn’t feel anything particularly special for her. Of course, I’m grateful she gave me life and a chance with my family.”

  Lark said nothing, so I continued, “If you’re pregnant, I want to keep the baby. You’re my girl and I’ve wanted to marry you since the first weekend you spent here.”

  Lark glanced around the room while thinking then returned her gaze to my face.

  “If it’s a girl, can we name her Phoebe?” she asked, taking my hand. “That’s my favorite character because she weird, but resilient. The name sounds kind of like Phoenix too.”

  Relieved to hear her talking about the baby like it was ours, I smiled again. “And it’s a boy?”

  “You have those books on Leonardo Da Vinci and I know you love his work. Phoenix was a Leo. Could we name the baby Leo, if it’s a boy?”

  I kissed her hand. “We can name our baby whatever you want.”

  “You’ll make sure I do a good job, right? You won’t let me kill our baby like I killed…”

  “You didn’t.”

  Lark pulled her hand and stood up. “I’m going to pee on the stick and find out then you’re going to give me a pep talk and make it all seem okay.”

  “It really will be okay.”

  Looking like she didn’t believe a word, Lark took the bag and walked to the bathroom. She shut the door and turned on the water.

  Attempting to keep busy, I did the two dishes in the sink. Next, I fed the dogs even though they had food. Then, I checked my mail. Finally, I stood near the bathroom door and waited.

  Lark emerged with tears in her eyes. I knew it was my job to give her a pep talk, but I didn’t know why she was crying. Positive and negative, happiness and sadness, I had no idea what I was seeing on her face.

  “When I was little,” Lark whispered, her voice catching, “I wanted to be a mom and my favorite toy was a baby doll. I pretended she was my real baby and took good care of her. When Phoenix died, I realized I should never be a mom. I couldn’t be trusted not to kill my baby.”

  Stepping closer, I wiped away a tear from her cheek. “You’ll make a great mom.”

  “I guess we’re going to find out,” she said, melting into my arms. “I was on the pill. I can’t even do that part right.”

  Taking a deep breath and accepting this direction in my life, I said softly, “Don’t listen to the crap in your head. Listen to my heart. It’s known you from the beginning.”

  Lark tightened her grip on me. “You’re not mad.”

  “Why would I be mad?”

  “We just started dating.”

  “Oh, I had our whole lives planned out before you walked into my shop to fix your worm.”

  Lark smiled up at me. “Do you feel like I tried to trap you?”

  “Shit, you really have no idea how I see you. None at all. In fact, I’m happy on two levels. As the guy who wants to spend his life with you, I’m excited to think of our baby growing inside you. Plus, the caveman part of me is just excited that I beat Cooper.”

  Laughing, Lark nuzzled my chest. “And you knocked me up when I was on the pill. You have the mighty Thor of sperm.”

  We both laughed and I felt Lark lighten in my arms.

  “Can we go to bed?” she whispered.

  “You look tired.”

  “No. I need you inside me. I need your hot skin to warm me. I need you to help me feel like the Lark you see and not the Lark who let me down all my life.”

  Chapter Thirty Three - Lark

  Waking up next to Aaron, I could nearly convince myself the night before was only a dream. I climbed out his warm bed and walked the bathroom where another test waited in an unopened package. Thinking I might have been wrong, I decided to use the second test. For the next few minutes waiting, I wasn’t sure what result I was hoping to see.

  Positive.

  I was going to be a mom. This part scared the living shit out of me. Yet, Aaron was the baby’s dad and this part I could celebrate. I might have floundered in college and gotten myself knocked up, but I had beaten the women in my family in one way. I picked a good man.

  Checking in on Aaron, I found him asleep on his stomach, arms spread out over the bed. I’d kept him up late the night before. His touch soothed my fear and I think he needed to be close too. Despite Aaron’s insistence at joy at the news, I could imagine he was scared. His life was tidy up until a few weeks ago. Now, I’d wrecked up the place.

  Aaron loved me and I remembered this whenever I felt the panic growing. I had the love of a good man. Something the women in my family never enjoyed.

  Restless, I dug my cell out of my backpack and dialed Raven’s number. I knew she was asleep. Between the time difference and Raven’s love of late nights, she wouldn’t answer. This fact relieved me.

  After her message to leave a message, I waited for the beep then blurted out everything.

  “Hey, it’s me. I just wanted to tell you that I’m not living with Larry anymore. I moved in with the guy I liked. Aaron. He’s amazing and we’re in love and I found out I’m pregnant. I was careful, but I got pregnant and he still wants me. I have someone good and I feel loved and safe. I haven’t felt that way since you ditched me to run off with Dexter. I don’t know if you were always looking for a way out or if I did something to make you want to leave me right then, but you ditched me and I felt lost for a long time without you. Now, I’m not lost and I’m h
appy and I wanted you to know I’m happy. I don’t know if you care, but I wanted you to know.”

  Hanging up, I glanced at Pollack who glanced at Professor as if annoyed.

  “Being a sister is tough,” I said, patting her head. “You love them, but they can break your heart. Or in your case, steal your ball.”

  Pollack heard the word “ball” and raced at Professor who saw her coming and fled with the prize. Smiling, I turned on the television and curled up on the comfy couch. A few episodes of Friends later, I heard the wood floor creak and a sleepy Aaron appeared.

  “Hey, baby. How long have you been up?”

  “A couple hours.”

  “You should have woken me up.”

  “Why?”

  Aaron shrugged then I noticed a naughty gaze in his eyes. “I could have relaxed you.”

  “I was already relaxed,” I said, ignoring his suggestion. Seeing him frown, I let my gaze admire his gorgeous chest. “I wouldn’t mind a little help in the shower though.”

  “Shower sex is tricky,” he muttered, turning on the coffee. “The height difference makes it even trickier.”

  “So? We’ve done it before. Are you getting lazy?”

  Aaron smiled from the kitchen. “I just want to be careful.”

  “I’m not fragile. Doing the math in my head, I was preggers when I fought with Kristen and Larry. I don’t need careful. I needed soapy sex.”

  Aaron studied me then nodded. “I’ll start the water. My girl has needs and I woke up hard, so this is going to work out great.”

  Before he could leave, I touched his arm. “This baby thing is a good thing.”

  A very good thing.”

  “You’re not scared at all?”

  “I’m healthy. I have the job I love. My parents are alive and well. My best friend is happy. Now, my muse is carrying my child. Everything is right with the world.”

  “It’s unexpected, but it can still be good.”

  “It’ll be great.”

  “I mean, it’s not like I got pregnant by some random guy. I’m having a baby with the man of my dreams. I already knew I was done with college after the semester. Also, the baby won’t be here for nine months. That’s plenty of time to get used to the idea. Look at Maddy. I’ve only know her a few months and it still feels like she’ been pregnant forever.”

  When Aaron kissed me tenderly, I felt how hard he had woken up. “I know people like to keep these things a secret until a certain trimester,” he said, playing with a lock of my wild hair, “but I’d really like to rub it in Cooper’s face as soon as possible.”

  “You’re so immature.”

  “Trust me, Lark. That bastard has been rubbing his every good fortune in my face for years. Now, it’s my turn. Let me have this.”

  “Let’s go to the doctor and check things first. If they say everything looks normal, you can brag. After all, you should be proud of your Thor sperm.”

  “Oh, I am,” he said, picking me up and wrapping my legs around his waist. “So very proud. Even if they already got the job done, I’m looking to give them a reward in the shower.”

  Chapter Thirty Four - Aaron

  Farah answered the door and I knew immediately her pants had recently been off. When our eyes met, I sensed she knew I knew. Farah gave me a casual smile then realized her ponytail was hanging weird off her head.

  “Sex is fun, huh?” Lark said, walking past her friend. “We’re like rabbits too.”

  Farah laughed. “We got home late and needed to let off some steam.”

  “Four times,” Cooper announced, bouncing the stairs.

  Grinning, I was ready to smack that smirk right off his face. “We have news.”

  “Moving in together is such a great first step in a relationship,” Cooper said, wrapping an arm around Farah’s shoulders. “We remember those days, don’t we, baby? So long ago.”

  “You’re being obnoxious,” Farah murmured to her husband. “A giant obnoxious stud.”

  Lark laughed and winked at me. “Speaking of studs, Aaron knocked me up our first time while I was on the pill. Bam! That is some super sperm!”

  Farah burst out laughing while I gave Cooper two middle fingers. He just glared at me like I’d knocked up my new girlfriend just so I could make him look weak. Yes, everything in the world revolved around Cooper including my sex life.

  “Fuck you,” Cooper growled at me.

  “Don’t feel bad. I mean, you had sex four times,” I said, putting up four fingers. “Wow, you’re bound to have at least one good swimmer in the bunch.”

  When Cooper ran at me, I took off through the dining room, past the kitchen, and out the backdoor. My buddy was big and strong, but he was slow. I was in the front yard before he got past his excited dogs.

  Lark opened the door for me then we shut it on Cooper who started cussing until he realized kids were nearby. Farah was laughing so hard she sat on the ground to keep from falling.

  “Let me in,” Cooper said in a low pissed voice as he glared through the side window.

  “Say it first.”

  “Congratulations, jackass. Now, let me in my damn house.”

  “That’s not what I want you to say.”

  “Then what? I’m not saying please, so it better not be that.”

  “Not please. I was thinking something like, ‘Gee, Aaron, can your balls dumb down things for my balls? I’d be ever so grateful to know how babies are made.’ Yeah, something like that.”

  Farah was rolling around on the floor and no help to Cooper who clearly wasn’t saying what I suggested. Lark finally unlocked the door and smiled at Cooper who exhaled like a pissed bull.

  “You’re welcome,” she said, grinning.

  “For what?”

  “I talked Aaron out of mocking you as badly as he wanted. This was the tame version. So you’re welcome.”

  Cooper shook his head and finally smiled. “I’m happy for you guys. In fact, now Farah and I can practice on your kid and get our fuckups out of the way before ours comes along.”

  “Screw that,” I said, patting his shoulder. “That’s what Tucker’s kid’s for.”

  “Hell yeah,” Farah said, finally on her feet again. “We’ll get all our parenting kinks out with Scarlet. Maddy knows what she’s doing and can fix what we break.”

  Cooper smiled at me while Farah gave Lark a hug. “Has she seen pics of you as a kid?”

  Humor gone, I flipped him off and he laughed. “That’s what I thought. Just wait until the sun comes out tomorrow.”

  “Asshole.”

  Cooper laughed all the way to the kitchen where the steaks waited. Soon, the grill was hot and we were eating. Farah and Lark talked babies while Cooper and I talked powerful sperm. Eventually, we just talked about RVing around the country one day with our kids.

  Road tripping to the Grand Canyon was on my mind when Lark and I arrived home. My happy dreams were ruined the moment I noticed Deputy Dickhead sitting on my porch swing.

  “Lame,” Lark whispered, climbing out of the car and taking my hand.

  “What do you want?” I asked him in a hard voice. “And get off my porch.”

  “I’m here on police business.”

  “Where’s your uniform?” I asked, eyeing his Branson tee.

  “You know anything about Larry Clark’s Corvette?”

  Staring into his dark eyes, I smiled. “I heard the asshole torched it for the insurance. You mean like that?”

  “His stepdaughter moved in with you then his car was destroyed. Seems like too much of a coincidence.”

  “That’s the thing about the law,” Lark said, her arms wrapped about my waist. “Things can seem one way, but it doesn’t matter unless you’ve got proof.”

  “What makes you think I can’t prove Barnes torched your dad’s car?”

  “Because you showed up wearing your dorky shirt, instead of a badge and handcuffs.”

  Dickhead started to mouth off. I could see in his eyes he planned to m
ake a snide comment and that wasn’t happening.

  “Get the fuck off my property and don’t come back unless you’ve got a warrant. Since you’ll never get one, let’s be strangers from now on. Now leave or I’m calling the cops.”

  Deputy Dickhead wanted to say something. He opened his mouth to say it, but Lark walked past him to unlock the door. The fucker gave me a dirty look, but he left. Despite all his strutting around, the cops knew who ran Ellsberg and it wasn’t them.

  Chapter Thirty Five - Lark

  Larry didn’t approve of Denny’s. He claimed it was a trashy restaurant for drunks and bikers. His dislike suited me just fine since I didn’t want him visiting. Yet, I always had a soft spot for Denny’s. Growing up, my mom would bring us to eat there occasionally. We mostly went around the holidays when she didn’t want to cook, but wanted us to have a nice dinner. Years later, Denny’s still stirred happy memories of a childhood often filled with not so pleasant days. Those holidays were the best and I remembered how much Phoenix liked the chicken nuggets. He would giggle when eating them and my little brother had a wonderful laugh.

  My mind was on kids again when I noticed my mother waiting to be seated. She looked more tired and older than normal. Her hair wasn’t fixed up and her makeup seemed rushed. Of course, the spring brought unexpected heat with it and Mom was used to lounging in the air-conditioned house most days.

  “Hi,” I said, grabbing a menu. “Are you meeting someone here?”

  “I wanted to talk to you.”

  Glancing around, I saw the restaurant was pretty quiet. After asking another waitress to watch my area, I took my mom to a quiet spot and hoped she hadn’t come to give me an ultimatum. There was nothing I wanted from her anyway.

  “How are you?” I asked when she stared out the window.

  “Larry is angered by your selfishness. He thinks I raised you poorly. Maybe he’s right, but I do understand why you’ve run off. You and Raven are Hancock women and we have a way of leading with our hearts and never our brains.”

  “Aaron is a good man. I won’t listen to you say otherwise.”