Lily (Song of the River)

by Aaron McCarver

  Chapter Fifty-one

  Blake was still in bed when someone knocked on the bedroom door. “Come in.”

  He expected one of the maids to enter with a cup of coffee and tell him breakfast was waiting for him downstairs. So when Lily entered, a breakfast tray carefully balanced between her hands, his mouth fell open. He grabbed at the bedcover, making sure his limbs were not exposed. He had never felt so vulnerable.

  “I trust you are beginning to recover from your ordeal.” She set the tray on a table at the foot of his bed and moved to where he lay.

  Blake pushed himself up to a sitting position, keeping the cover tightly around him. He bit back a groan when his head bumped against the headboard. “You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble.”

  Lily walked to the window on one side of his bed and opened the curtains covering it. Weak light drifted into the room while she moved to the window on the other side of his bed and repeated her actions. “They caught Steenberg and his gang.”

  “What about Jean Luc?”

  Her eyebrows crinkled in a frown. “He saved yours and Papa’s lives.”

  Now it was Blake’s turn to frown. Had Steenberg not told them about Jean Luc’s role in the destruction of their boat?

  “Such a heroic act. If he had not taken the boat out into the channel, the whole port would have gone up in flames when the boiler blew. A lot of people would have died if Jean Luc had not been so brave.”

  Every word she spoke was like a blow. How could he tell her the truth? And why should he? Blake didn’t want to destroy her faith in the man. It was true that Jean Luc’s actions had benefited the others. And since Jean Luc was dead, no one could bring him to justice for his attempts to harm the Hattie Belle. “I still haven’t pieced together how you managed to get to the river.”

  She fluffed a pillow that had fallen on the floor. “Papa brought me in the same buggy that I used to get us back here.”

  Blake would have nodded, but he didn’t want to aggravate the pounding in his head. “What I don’t understand is how you went from dancing to rescuing me.”

  “One of the Champneys’ slaves came in and said there was a boat on fire.” She shrugged. “Nothing would have kept me in the ballroom.”

  He should have known that.

  “Enough about me.” She dropped the pillow on the bed and picked up the tray, settling it on his lap. “Are you recovered enough to feed yourself, or do you need some help?”

  Blake’s eyebrows rose. “Are you offering to be my nursemaid?”

  Her blush was one of the things he loved most about Lily. That and her dogged determination. Like him, she had lost everything last night. Some women would have moaned and cried about the fire, but not Lily.

  “How is your head?”

  “It aches, but not too badly.” He picked up his fork to prove that he was fine. The first taste of the fluffy scrambled eggs was delicious and seemed to light a ferocious hunger. Blake wolfed down the rest of his food and sat back with a sigh of contentment.

  Lily reached for the tray. “I believe you are going to be fine.”

  Blake wrapped his hand around her wrist. “I don’t know how you do it.”

  “What are you talking about?” She wouldn’t meet his gaze, but she didn’t try to pull away, either.

  He didn’t want to let her go, not until he understood her better. In all the months they had been together, he had never realized how strong she actually was. But now? “I don’t have the energy to look on the bright side. All I can think about is that everything is gone. All my clothes, my cards, everything I owned was on the Hattie Belle.”

  She looked at him. Really looked at him. Her lips twitched, her smile appearing and disappearing like a shy child. “God can turn every tragedy into good.”

  Blake practically threw her hand away. His head pounded once more. “Is that all you have to say?”

  She picked up the tray and moved away. “You asked the question.”

  Suddenly Blake knew what he had to do. “I’m leaving.”

  The tray dropped to the floor, making him wince and put a hand to his forehead. She looked at him, her face full of pain. “You can’t leave. You’re not well.”

  “It may take a day or two, but Camellia fixed me up pretty well last night. Besides, there’s no reason for me to stay here any longer.” He closed his eyes to keep from looking at her. He couldn’t weaken. Couldn’t let Lily’s sweetness change his mind. Blake knew what he had to do.

  The soft sound of his door closing made Blake open his eyes. She was gone. Now he realized that the pain in his chest was worse than the pain in his head. Blake sank into the soft, clean bed and groaned. He had to get away before he did something stupid … like kiss her again.

  Hopelessness claimed Lily. She knew she should not have expected anything else.

  Two days after the destruction of the Hattie Belle, when it became obvious Jean Luc had died in the explosion, Monsieur and Madame Champney held a memorial service for their son. Her heart had gone out to the grieving couple. They seemed to have aged a decade. The only thing she could think of that might alleviate some of their pain was to tell them how brave Jean Luc had been, how he had sacrificed himself so no one else would die. They seemed to appreciate her words.

  As sad as the service had been, Lily would have recovered from her sorrow. Then Blake announced that he was not going to stay in Natchez, and she fell into despondency, a yawning pit of blackness she couldn’t seem to climb from.

  She had said nothing as he recovered his strength, nothing when he bid them good-bye. What could she say? He would never change. He would not turn to God and become the man she could spend the rest of her life with.

  The only reason he had stayed in the first place was because he was invested … in the Hattie Belle. Nothing else. If she had ever doubted that, Blake had proven it when he walked out of her life.

  She sighed and looked out the parlor window. Clouds skittered across the sky. It was a gloomy day, one that matched her mood. Tears filled her eyes. Lily sniffed and tried to keep them at bay. She didn’t want to waste any tears over Blake Matthews. Not when she was sure he’d already forgotten her. The door opened behind her, and she wiped at her eyes, wishing she’d brought a handkerchief.

  “‘In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.’” Her father quoted the scripture quietly as he walked across the room.

  His words brought back her answer to Blake when he bemoaned the loss of all his worldly goods. How self-righteous she had been when she told him that God turned tragedy into good. Lily had not realized that God would call on her to live her beliefs.

  She twisted her lips into a smile and looked toward her father. “Thanks, Papa, for reminding me of His promise. I know it’s true, but I’m finding it so hard to live that way when it feels like my heart has been torn out of my chest.”

  A frown appeared on his face. “I know it’s not easy.” He sat beside her on the sofa and patted her hand. “Especially when someone you care about is no longer at your side.”

  Determined not to cry, Lily folded her lips into a straight line and nodded. “I didn’t realize how much I cared about Blake until he disappeared.”

  “God must have someone really special in mind for you, Water Lily. Someone who will love God with all his heart and love you as Christ loves the Church. It may be hard to believe right now, but you will be so happy with that man.”

  “I suppose so.” Lily wished she could believe him. The hole Blake left in her life was an awfully big one to fill. He had challenged her to do her best, dared her to cling to her morals, and supported her when she least expected it.

  Papa stood and walked to the window she’d been looking through. Silence gathered around them, deepening her feeling of dread. What was he thinking? Was he about to leave her, too? Lily wasn’t sure she could handle two desertions in one week. “I need to check on Camellia and Jasmine.”

  He turned arou
nd as she was rising from the sofa. “Have you thought about your future?”

  Here it was. Papa was not going to allow her to escape before he told her his plans. Lily shook her head. “Not much.”

  “I understand. You’ve suffered a huge blow. It takes time to get over loss and grief. But one of these days you’re going to wake up and realize life is going on whether you like it or not. One of these days your faith is going to rise again to the surface.”

  She wondered if he planned to come back and visit his daughters once he returned to life on the river.

  “I want you to know I am here for you, Lily.” He walked back to her and put an arm around her waist. “If you want to buy another boat, I’ll gladly captain it for you.”

  Touched by his offer, she returned his hug. “Thanks, Papa. I appreciate that. You’re a great captain. It’s a special talent God gifted you with. No matter which boat you guide, the passengers and crew will be in good hands.”

  He lifted her chin with a bent finger. “You’ve loved the river almost since you drew your first breath, but if this disaster has taken away your desire, I’ll stay right here in Natchez with you and your sisters. I’m never going to desert you again.”

  “You would do that for us?” Her last doubts disappeared in a landslide of emotion. “I love you, Papa.”

  They hugged for several healing minutes. When they separated, Lily had to wipe her eyes again. Was she turning into one of those weak women she so despised? The ones who relied on tears to manipulate others?

  Her grandmother opened the parlor door and started to enter. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  Lily shook her head and smiled. “You’re not interrupting us at all. Papa and I were talking about what we’re going to do.”

  Grandmother looked from one of them to the other. “I hope you don’t plan on leaving right away.”

  “Don’t worry about that.” Lily stepped forward and took her grandmother’s hands into her own. “It’s going to be a while before I’m ready to purchase another boat.”

  “Well, I can’t say that I’m entirely unhappy to hear that. Although it saddens me to see you moping about, I still like having you around. You’ve proven you are capable of taking care of yourself and your sisters. Your aunt and uncle may have suggestions for your future, but you will decide which path to follow.”

  Grandmother looked past her to where her father stood. “I hope you will stay with us, too, Henrick. My Rose loved you so much, and I hope you’ll forgive us for keeping you separated from your children for all these years.”

  He cleared his throat. “Thank you. The past is behind us, and there’s no reason to hold on to it. God has been so good to me, revealing Himself to me and giving me a reason to keep moving forward. He takes the worst circumstances and turns them into something beautiful. That’s what I was telling Lily right before you came in.”

  “Amen.” Grandmother released one of Lily’s hands to reach out toward Henrick.

  Lily’s heart filled with love and thankfulness as she stood between her father and her grandmother. It was time to stop dwelling on her losses. She had a lot of things to be thankful for. The reconciliation of her relatives was proof that God could work out anything.

  Peace settled on her shoulders with that realization, the peace that Christ had promised to all who believed in Him. She claimed that promise with all her heart, trusting that He would work out her future in a way more marvelous than she could imagine.

  Chapter Fifty-two

  Blake had never felt more alone in his life. He still remembered so clearly the day when Lily, along with her sisters, had appeared aboard the Hattie Belle, determined to get her clean and ready for travel. At that time he’d wondered if he would ever again enjoy peace and quiet. Now he wondered how he had ever enjoyed the solitude of his life before she … they entered it.

  Even Jensen had deserted him, opting to stay near Tamar since she appeared more receptive to sharing her future with him. He hoped the two of them would marry and be happy.

  He wanted to go back to Natchez. What was wrong with him? Lily had made her position clear before he left.

  Blake left the room he had rented two weeks earlier when he’d decided to stop in Vicksburg. Walking toward the riverfront, he mused about the differences between Vicksburg and Natchez. Both were situated on high bluffs on the eastern side of the river, overlooking Louisiana lowlands on the west. But fewer plantation homes dotted the landscape of this town, and the dock was not as busy. Perhaps that was because Vicksburg had only been a settled area for a few decades.

  At least he could play cards. Blake tipped his hat at a lady riding by in a carriage. For a moment his heart nearly stopped. Lily? She had the same light-brown hair brightened by golden strands that reflected the afternoon sun, but that was where the similarity ended.

  Blake regained his composure and continued his trek to the waterfront. His footsteps dragged. He didn’t feel like going to a gambling boat. The allure of gambling seemed to have faded now that he had enough money to live comfortably. Maybe he should consider buying a home and settling down. But that wouldn’t solve his lack of companionship.

  A flyer someone had tacked to an oak tree caught his attention. Disheartened was the first word, followed by a question mark. He stopped to read further. The next line read, Discouraged? and the third line was equally compelling: Lonely? The hair on the back of his neck rose. The sign might have been written for him.

  Blake took a step forward and peered at the rest of the announcement. It was about a revival in Vicksburg beginning this very night and promised that all who came to listen to the Word as preached by Rev. Nathan Pierce would find the answers they’d been seeking. Blake almost passed it by, but what would he do with his evening? Perhaps this Pierce fellow had a message that would make him feel better.

  He walked to the livery stable and rented a horse, getting instructions on how to reach the revival. As he rode past the outskirts of Vicksburg, he heard singing. It seemed to come from all around him, wonderful, uplifting chords. He couldn’t make out the words, so he pushed his mount faster.

  He reached the meeting place and felt like he’d been transported back in time. A brush arbor stood at the edge of a meadow, its roughhewn posts and leafy roof reminding him of his childhood. Early in his father’s career as a preacher, the church had met in a similar arbor.

  Blake almost turned back, but his arrival had been noticed by some of the congregation. He didn’t want to seem like a coward, so he dismounted and tied his horse to a tree. He found a seat in the shady arbor as the preacher stepped up to the pulpit made out of a hickory post.

  “Good evening.” A tall, handsome man with a piercing gaze and blond hair stepped up to the podium as dusk settled on the meadow.

  Some of the men in the congregation answered the preacher. “Good evening.”

  “I’ve come to Vicksburg to share a message of hope and redemption with all of you. A message that was first shared a long time before you and I came here. It’s a message that all men need to hear. A promise that we can cling to even when it seems we’ve lost everything.”

  Blake leaned forward, his attention caught by the preacher’s words.

  “I’m sure a lot of you here tonight know who Daniel is.”

  Blake searched his memory. There was something about dreams and visions in that book of the Old Testament. A lions’ den?

  “Well, tonight I’m going to tell you a story about a set of young men who were his friends—Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. They were slaves of King Nebuchadnezzar, but they were also devout followers of the Most Holy God. So when King Nebuchadnezzar told them he wanted them to worship at the feet of a huge golden statue he’d made, they refused. This made King Nebuchadnezzar so angry he had them tied up and thrown into a fiery furnace.”

  The preacher paused and looked out over his congregation. It seemed to Blake the man was looking directly at him. “That’s when things got really i
nteresting. King Nebuchadnezzar looked at the furnace and saw that Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah were no longer tied up. And they weren’t alone in that furnace. Let me read this part to you directly from the Bible so you can hear it for yourself. ‘Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt; and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.’”

  Blake’s heart tripled its speed. This story was so familiar to him. He’d been bound and left for dead. He thought back to that night, to the despair that had claimed him before he lost consciousness. Like the three men in the Bible, he’d been rescued. He should have died that night, but God in His goodness spared him—sent others to pull him from the fire. He’d received a second chance, and here he was about to waste it.

  As the preacher brought his sermon to a close, he asked all to bow their heads during his prayer. Then he invited anyone who had felt the hand of God on them to come forward and declare their faith.

  Blake hesitated as others stood and made their way to the pulpit. Then he could not wait any longer. He stood and took a tentative step. It felt good. So he took another step. Joy was stalking him, making it difficult to restrain himself from running forward. When he reached the pulpit, Blake kneeled and bowed his head. He had learned from a young age what one said when giving one’s heart to God, but tonight the words, the thoughts, had real meaning. He asked Jesus to come into his heart and felt the assurance flood his body. He was a new man.

  The preacher put a hand on his head and prayed, giving thanks to God for saving another lost lamb. Blake had no idea how long he knelt there in front of the pulpit, but by the time he rose it was fully dark. He found his horse and rode back to the livery stable, wonder and excitement filling him.

  He needed to tell someone, but who would care? Lily. The answer was in his heart as soon as the question formed. He needed to get back to Lily.

  Blake thought of an advertisement he’d seen in the Vicksburg Whig, and everything came together as though God had planned it. Chills ran up his spine. God was omnipotent. Plans for surprising Lily filled his head as thankfulness flooded his heart. Blake knew exactly what he needed to do.