Now can you see why I’m so freaking stressed? I’m a horny pregnant woman about to combust because the only man she’s attracted to seems to want to ‘talk’ all the time. He doesn’t even kiss me. He’s driving me completely insane and I’m going to be getting a one way ticket to D Block if it carries on.
“I need to get out for a bit,’’ I tell him, not facing him and instead shoving shit in my bag to get ready for when Nan and Harlow arrive.
We’ve decided to go into town to look for some maternity clothes and underwear. With my hips growing some actual meat on them, my usual jeans don’t fit as snug and neither do my leggings.
“Is everything okay?’’ he asks walking up behind me, and I feel his presence there surrounding me.
“Why don’t you tell me.’’
“Huh…what does that mean?’’
I can hear the confusion in his voice which only makes me feel more upset and angry. He must know what this is doing to me. Living under the same roof, sleeping in the same bed and not feeling like a family. It’s times like this that I wonder if he truly is only with me because I’m pregnant with our daughter.
“It means I’m fed up of not knowing what the hell is going on with us. We’re living together, but we’re not really together, together. You kissed me the other week to prove you were attracted to me, but since then all you’ve done is be secretive, stealing quick glances at me here and there to see if I’m looking at what you’re doing. What gives?’’
“Look, I’m going to come right out and say this before it goes too far.’’ He talks calmly, too calmly, and I know he’s going to ask me to leave, that all of this was a mistake and I can feel my heart crumbling once again.
“What goes too far?’’ I grit out, not able to help the quiver in my voice.
“I haven’t touched you because you left. You left with our baby without even talking to me face to face,’’ he says and when I go to interrupt he holds his hand out stopping me. “It killed me just as much as it killed you, and you’ll never know just how sorry I am because now there isn’t just doubt in your mind, there’s doubt in mine too. What if you don’t really want to be with me? What if you’re only here because you don’t want our girl to grow up without her father?’’
“Are you being serious?’’ I ask, but I already know the answer.
“Deadly.’’
“Mason, you must realise that it’s me you don’t want to be with, that you feel obligated. I have no obligation to you. Do I want what’s best for my child? Yes. Would I do whatever it takes to achieve that? Yes. What I won’t do is ruin her life by being in a loveless relationship. My parents are in that and look how that turned out. If I truly didn’t want to be here, with you, with our baby, I would never have come back and stayed.’’
“So you’re not with me because of the baby?’’ he asks, hope filling his voice.
“God, no, Mason! I’m here with you because I want to be. I just feel like you don’t feel the same way that I do.’’
“Knew you couldn’t resist me, babe,’’ he grins playfully grabbing me in his arms and swinging me around.
“I’ll be sick,’’ I warn, giggling.
“I don’t care babe. I’ve been stewing over this for far too long, but didn’t want to say anything because I’m selfish and didn’t want you to leave me again.’’
I playfully role my eyes as he positions me between his legs while he rests against the side of the kitchen counter.
“Cooeyyyy!’’ my Nan’s voice screeches outside of the house. “Oh my, aren’t you a sight.’’
Hearing her flirtatious voice I quickly move out of Mason’s arms and rush over to the door in time to see the interaction between my Nan and Myles.
“I’m really sorry Miss, but this is private property.’’
“Back in my day they never made men like you. Such a shame too, you have such a fantastic body young man,’’ she flirts and I know she’s only playing.
I think.
Myles blushes and I feel sorry for him so I step outside interrupting before she says something I can never erase from my mind.
“Nan, leave Myles alone,’’ I giggle.
My Nan turns around wearing a huge grin on her face. Her eyes are sharp on mine but soon fly to the side when Mason steps up next to me and she grins bigger.
“You do pick well my girl. I could have you for dessert,’’ she says looking Mason up and down, and for once, I’m glad he has clothes on.
“Seriously, Nan?’’ I ask, playfully rolling my eyes.
“Alright, alright, but come here, I miss my favourite granddaughter.’’
“I’m your only granddaughter,’’ I tell her giggling.
“Yeah… well, it’s the title that matters. Have you spoken to your father?’’ she asks attentively and something from the look in her eyes tells me she’s hiding something.
“Um… no.’’
I leave emotion out of my voice. Since we picked the rest of my belongings up at my parent’s home, my father hasn’t bothered to come see me or bothered to contact me. He’s so far up my mother’s ass that I’m surprised he doesn’t take a piss without her permission.
“Well, he’s meeting us at a cafe in town. He needs to talk to you about something before we go shopping.’’
“Nan, I’m not talking to him. Please don’t ruin this day for me,’’ I plead and feel Mason walk up behind me and pull my back to his front. The position is oddly comforting and feels right, so I lean back into him, relishing in his embrace.
“Shush babe, hear her out,’’ he whispers in my ear and I sigh. Myles moves over to the other side of the garden and starts messing with the flower bed, but I can still tell that he’s listening. He’s a Carter after all.
“He only wants five minutes of your time, honey, at least give him that,’’ she pleads and if this was anyone other than my Nan then I would just ignore them and tell them to fuck off. “Plus I’ll disown you if you don’t.’’
“Are you freaking kidding me?’’ I squeal outraged and notice Harlow walking into the garden, but stops short when she hears my outburst.
“Jesus… It’s a joke, not a dick, don’t take it so hard,’’ Nan mutters and I look at her confused. Mason doesn’t help when I feel his body shaking with laughter or when I hear laughter coming from Myles, confirming my earlier suspicions that he was still listening.
“Huh?’’
“I’d never disown you sweetie, but I know what your father wants to talk about and it’s something I think you’ll want to hear.’’
“Well if you know then why don’t you just tell me?’’
“Where would the fun in that be? Come on, he’s waiting.’’
I groan, really not wanting to go now she’s spoiled the day by bringing my father into it. I’d been really looking forward to some girl time, and of course getting some clothes that actually fit me. I turn around in Mason’s arms and give him my puppy dog eyes which only makes him grin.
“Babe, he’s your dad. If you don’t feel comfortable and you want to leave, then just call me, I’ll come and get you.’’
“You promise?’’ I pout, liking the feel of him pressed up against me.
“Always,’’ he grins, kissing the tip of my nose, the notion has me melting towards him. “Now go on before your Nan strips the rest of Myles’s clothes off,’’ he chuckles.
I turn to find Mason isn’t far off on the matter and have to snap my hands in front of her face to bring her attention away from the poor boy.
“Can Harlow still come?’’ I ask, gesturing to Harlow behind her.
“Of course,’’ she says then sends a look to Mason behind me and I turn to catch a quick glimpse of him nodding his head.
“Is something going on?’’
“No,’’ they both say suddenly and I shake my head.
Weirdoes!
“Well come on then, we haven’t got all day,’’ I snap going back inside quickly to grab my bag.
> It doesn’t take us long to arrive at the cafe where my dad is waiting for us. Harlow trails in behind my Nan as she walks in front of us, weaving in and out of tables, directing her way over to the table my dad is sitting at.
“Is he like your mom?’’ Harlow whispers sounding genuinely scared.
“No, but he’s just as bad with his silence,’’ I whisper back feeling deflated. When my dad comes into view I nearly gasp. His face is sunken and he looks like he hasn’t slept or eaten in a few days. The dark circles under his eyes are proof of that.
“Hey Denny,’’ he chokes out, standing up to greet me and bring me into a hug. I’m uncomfortable at first with the affection. It’s the first time he’s ever shown me any affection since I was five years old. It feels foreign to have his arms wrapped around me in such an affectionate embrace, like he feels like I’ll disappear if he lets me go. It has me choking up, and my eyes begin to water, but then I remember all the years he’s abandoned me and I harden my stance.
“Dad…I need to breathe,’’ I choke out.
“Sorry. Yeah…you need air. I’m sorry,’’ he stammers and I look at him with an eyebrow raised wondering where the hell my dad has gone. The man in front of me just seems like a complete stranger.
“Why am I here dad?’’ I sigh.
“Hear him out Denny,’’ Nan warns gesturing to the chair I’m standing in front of, not making any moves to take a seat. When she gives me that ‘I’m warning you right now’ look, I quickly pull out the chair and take a seat.
“I’m going to…um… order a milkshake. Yeah, a milkshake. Does anyone else want anything while I go up there?’’ Harlow asks nervously.
I know she’s doing it to give us some privacy, but I really don’t want her to leave me alone with them right now. I grab her hand, looking at her with pleading eyes not to leave me. Thankfully my dad speaks up making me relax.
“They come over to take your orders,’’ he smiles. “And it’s on me.’’
“Thank you, Mr. Smith.’’
“Call me Charles.’’
“Dad?’’ I call again, wanting him to say whatever it is he has to say so I can go and get me some trousers that stretch over my large frame.
“Yes, sorry Denny.’’
He opens his mouth to reply when the waitress walks over taking our orders. If I’m honest I just want to strangle her and tell her to fuck off while my dad talks to me, but I’m not that sort of person. One thing my parents did teach me, was manners.
As soon as she brings back our drinks we all settle in to listen to my dad.
“How are you? And the baby?’’ he says looking down at my stomach and I swear I see his eyes soften, but that can’t be right. He didn’t want me to keep the baby as much as my mother didn’t.
“Why do you care? You made yourself perfectly clear where I stand, dad.’’
“Denny, please listen,’’ Nan snaps and I whip my head to hers wondering why she’s pushing me to listen to him when she told me she was on my side, that she didn’t agree with what they had done to me.
“Denny, for me to explain the choices that I made in my life I need to explain a few other things to you. Before you were born I was in love with a woman named Katie. We had been together for several years. She had broken up with me and it devastated me to the point I went out every night to drown my sorrows. She left town shortly after, never telling me goodbye or where she was going.
“When I met your mother I was on the rebound and just needed to feel loved. We kind of dated for a few years, and I did start to care for her in my own way, even though everyone warned me she had just pulled the wool over my eyes. When I found out about you, I wanted you straight away. I needed you in my life, but then I found out a few things about your mother, who she really was and that’s when everything turned to shit.
“She deliberately got pregnant for my family’s wealth. She knew I never loved her, or wanted anything more than what we were. So she got pregnant with you because she knew I’d marry her because of you. Mom and dad warned me not to. Said that she was bad blood, but I didn’t believe them. Not until you turned two and Katie came back into my life.
“I found out the reason Katie left me was because of your mother. Katie and I made plans, she had some big news she wanted to share, but she needed to show me, so we planned to take you away, to get you out from under her control. We were on our way to our new home when the car brakes stopped working,’’ he says on a whisper, his eyes full of tears.
“Oh my goodness,’’ I gasp, tears filling my own eyes. He tried to take me away from her. I think it over, and I know for a fact my life would have been better if she hadn’t been in it.
“I don’t have proof, but I swear your mom cut those brakes. The front of the car took most of the hit and Katie died. I barely made it out of there alive myself.
“When we came home from the hospital I couldn’t walk, so your mother had to take care of me,’’ he whispers looking ashamed. “She didn’t treat me well when I was in her care and because of the depression of losing Katie and nearly you, I just let her do what she wanted. I felt like I deserved it when Katie had just lost her life.
“I questioned your mother about the car. I told her that I’d leave her as soon as I was better when she said to me, ‘Charles, look what happened the first time you left me, you wouldn’t want Denny to die next would you?’ It was then I realised I needed to stay, too scared to get on her bad side.’’
“Why did you let her treat me the way she did then? No… Why did you treat me the way you did?’’ I snap, starting to feel angry with him. All those years he was in a loveless marriage, one where he could have gotten away. He could have just taken me away as soon as I was old enough, but he stayed, letting her torment me that much more.
“I was scared of what she would do to you.’’
“I’m eighteen, dad. It’s taken you eighteen years to tell me all of this? Why tell me all of this now? Why couldn’t you have taken me away from her? And why did you ignore me for all these years?’’ I cry, tears running down my face.
“I didn’t want her to have more ammunition to hurt you. Whenever I paid you attention as a kid it caused her to be cruel to you. The further I pushed you away, the more she left you alone.’’
In a way he’s right, she ignored me for the most part, but then there were days when she would be so cruel I questioned her reasons for having me. Now I know why.
My father’s money.
“You’re a coward,’’ I snap on a sob.
“I’ve left her,’’ he cries on a whisper. “I won’t live without you in my life Denny. I can’t. All I’ve lived through, all I’ve had to stand back and listen to has been to keep you safe, to keep you in my sight. I was so scared that one day she would take you away and disappear. She threatened me on so many occasions to do it, and I knew she wasn’t lying.’’
“Why leave her now?’’ I question, wiping the tears from my face, ignoring the stares aimed at our table. If I look I know I’ll run and I need answers.
“Because I have nothing to stay for now you’re gone. I need you in my life Denny.’’
“So why has it taken you until now to leave her?’’
“I needed to know you were safe. I needed to make sure that you had people to protect you when I couldn’t.’’
It all feels so surreal. I know my mother is a bitch, but to hurt her own child… okay, I do believe she would. I don’t know why I questioned it really; she’s never cared about anything other than herself and my dad.
“And am I?’’ I ask, rubbing my stomach where my baby girl wiggles, kicking out inside of me.
“Yes. She’ll be leaving by the end of the month. She has nothing left for herself here now that I’ve taken all the money she would have gotten from the divorce. I offered a one way ticket out of here and we’ve got an agreement that if she leaves quietly, I’ll buy her a house wherever she is going.’’
“None of this feels real,�
�’ I mutter, resting my face in my hands.
Harlow’s hand reaches for my leg under the table, her gentle touch soothing my raging hormones.
“What will you do now? Where do we go from here?’’ I ask, wondering how we can repair our relationship. That is, if what he is saying is the truth. “And how can I know this is the truth and not your way of being in my life?’’
“It’s true girl, your dad asked me to be a witness for his will. I read the terms of his contract and I questioned him about copies of the police reports on the car crash. He told me everything and about his suspicions of your mother’s involvement. I had a detective do some investigating on the case and we got proof a few days ago that your mother caused the crash. She tampered with the brakes. It’s how they managed to get so far out of town before they went.’’
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?’’ I whisper.
“I didn’t want to hurt you, but I can see now that everything I did hurt you so much more.’’
“So all of the times you agreed with her or stayed quiet, that was all show?’’
“Of course,’’ he says snapping his head to mine. His eyes are red and sincerity clouds his eyes.
“And the baby?’’ I question, wondering if that was all for show.
His eyes soften when he looks at me, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
“You my cherub made me the happiest man alive the day you announced you were pregnant. I can’t wait to be a granddaddy,’’ he gushes.
“Really?’’ I ask him choked up, reaching across the table to grab his hand. This is all I’ve ever wanted. His blessing. I never cared about my mother’s, but my dad, I always wanted him to approve. There were times when I remembered him from when I was younger, remembered how much I loved him, needed him, and connected to him. Now I understand why it all changed as suddenly as it did.
Mason Page 13
