His Toughest Call

by Joss Wood

  How could she persuade him to consider any or all of them?

  “Don’t do this, Leah.”

  Leah heard the command in his voice and glared at his back.

  “Do what?” she asked, trying to keep her voice light.

  “You’re trying to find a way around this situation, around us. I’m not going there,” Seth replied.

  He dragged a hand across his face and Leah noticed he looked exhausted. She knew she was.

  “I wish you didn’t have to be bait for Ben. I’m hoping that he’ll just contact me directly and leave you out of it.”

  That was a nice dream but they knew there was no chance of that happening.

  “He won’t.” Leah told him.

  “Why do you say that?” Seth asked, looking at a photo of her and her mom that was taken shortly before her death.

  Leah gripped the back of her chair and dug her fingernails into the fabric. In the muted light he looked like a strong and powerful and pissed off warrior. And hot. So very hot, so very sexy.

  Leah pushed her hair back from her face and forced her thoughts off getting Seth naked. “He wants your attention, I agree with that, but he also wants to make you suffer. Contacting you and asking you to meet is too damn easy. It won’t fulfill his objective of getting you back under his command.”

  Seth’s expression turned grim. “And the only way he’ll get that if he has you. He knows I’d do anything for you.”

  Anything? Anything? Hardly! “That’s not true but, yes, he doesn’t know that.”

  Seth frowned. “I would do anything for you, Leah.”

  Leah shook her head and sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “Anything means anything, Seth, and we both know that’s not the truth. You won’t love me, you won’t trust me, you won’t let me love you.”

  Seth jerked his head back as if she’d slapped his face. “I don’t know how to love you! I don’t know how to love anybody! I don’t know how to be loved,” Seth said, his voice quiet but determined.

  God, that he thought that made her feel so damn sad.

  “That’s rubbish, Seth. There isn’t a formula to loving me, a manual you have to follow. You wake up, kiss me good morning, or make love to me, if that’s what we want to do. One or the other makes coffee, we have breakfast, we go our separate ways. We meet up again, chat, talk, eat dinner, go to bed and make love. I bring you aspirin if you have a headache, you buy me flowers if you feel the urge. We eat out and we argue about movies we want to watch—I love sci-fi by the way—you cook, I clean. I cook, you clean. We cook together, we clean together.”

  “Leah—”

  Oh, no, she needed to finish this. “On weekends, we head to the country or the beach. We fly to Rome or LA if we feel the urge. We don’t lie, we don’t cheat, and we communicate often. I don’t know how it will work out, just that it will, that it can!”

  Seth gripped the bridge of his nose and stared at the floor. “You make it sound so damn easy.”

  And he made it sound so impossible. “It is easy.” Leah insisted. “You just have to decide that it’s what you want.”

  “We live on different sides of the world, Leah!”

  That was the best argument he had? What a rookie. “I’d move. Milo would run my business for me and I could fly back when I needed to.”

  If she wasn’t feeling so shattered, Leah would’ve laughed at his stunned face.

  “You’d do that for me?”

  Leah dredged up a smile and forced it onto her face. “Yeah, I would. But then again, I would do anything for you, Seth.”

  He turned his head to look at her and Leah saw the confusion in his eyes, the naked want warring with his control.

  She decided to risk the question. “Would it be the worst thing in the world? You and I?”

  “No. The worst thing in the world would be having you in my life and then losing you.”

  His harsh words hovered in the air between them and Leah held his anguished eyes. “I’m scared, too, Seth.”

  Seth’s mouth opened as if he were about to speak, to cave, and Leah held her breath, hoping he’d say or do something to give her some hope, a slight hint that she might have a chance. Behind the frustration and the control and the pride, she thought she saw his vulnerability, his desire to make this work. Then the naked need in his eyes faded and Leah knew she’d lost him. She’d lost him to his fear and to his need to be in control.

  He wasn’t in the right state of mind to love her and she doubted he ever would be. Seth wasn’t willing to fall in love because—hell, it wasn’t about her and whether he could love her—he just wasn’t prepared to allow himself to fall in love. He wasn’t prepared to be vulnerable, to let her into those secret places in his mind and heart.

  She needed to walk away, she had to walk away. She needed to let go of him, stop this craziness from scouring her heart and soul. Loving Seth made her feel uncertain, unworthy, lost. Like she did after her marriage fell apart.

  Enough now.

  She’d miss Seth. She’d miss everything about him. But no matter how much she loved him, she had to love herself more. She needed to get over him and to do that she had to walk away, put herself first.

  It had to end. Right now, this minute.

  Leah took a deep breath. “I need this situation resolved, Seth. I need you out of my house and out of my life.” Leah looked at him and lifted her hands. “You won’t fight for me and I’m so over fighting by myself, constantly looking for a way to make you stay.”

  “I’m not doing that anymore, Seth. And I damn sure will, one day, be over you.” Leah touched her top lip with her tongue and met his narrowed eyes.

  Leah picked up the dirty glasses and the bottle of wine. “I’m going to bed.” She stopped at the door and turned back to look at him. “Sort this out, Seth. I need this to be over.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Jett removed a tiny earpiece from its bed of foam and Seth watched as he walked to Leah and pushed her hair behind her ear.

  “If something happens to you, we can track you and you can listen to us,” Jett said as he inserted the flesh-colored earpiece into her ear.

  Seth nodded, satisfied that it was nearly undetectable.

  “So I can hear you but you can’t hear me?’

  Jett shook his head then nodded to her watch. “Seth placed a blue tooth mic into your watch. Whatever you say, we’ll hear.”

  Leah managed a small smile. “So I get to lift my wrist like the secret service guys do in the movies?’

  Jett laughed. “This is high tech, you just have to talk normally and we’ll hear you.”

  Seth couldn’t laugh or smile. He was having a hard enough time keeping his stomach from flying up his throat every time he thought about Leah leaving the house without him, tempting his waste-of-DNA father to snatch her. Because they all knew that was exactly what Ben would do at the earliest opportunity. Ben hadn’t contacted him directly, that was way too easy, and they all knew he was waiting for an opportunity to inflict as much damage as possible. He knew Leah was his weak link and, as Leah had suggested, Ben wanted to make him suffer. And it was working.

  Seth raked a hand through his already messy hair. This is why an operative shouldn’t become personally involved in volatile situations. And hell, no matter how much he tried to deny it, he was involved. He was neck-deep involved with Leah and he felt like he was walking into an ambush blindfolded and unarmed, waiting for the bullet to rip him apart.

  Seth turned away and looked out of the window of the lounge, staring at the ocean. God, why did love have to come with such uncertainty? He was terrified if Ben took her, they wouldn’t get to her quickly enough, and that he would hurt her in order to hurt Seth. Seth ground his teeth together. If Ben put a finger mark on Leah, Seth would rip his limbs off, one by one. He was scared for Leah, but loving Leah scared him as much. The uncertainty of love terrified him. Like this operation, so much could go wrong. Like baiting Ben, love was dangerous. It meant exposi
ng himself, taking a chance, trusting that it would work out.

  “So, I have to do this every time I go out?” Leah asked, distracting him from his whirling thoughts.

  “Yep, now that our backup agents are here, we can you use as bait,” Jett said. “Hopefully, it won’t be too long before he makes a move.”

  “God, I hope he does, and quickly. I need this to be over with.” Leah said. Leah turned to look at Seth. “How long do you think this will take?”

  “How long is a piece of string?” Seth replied. “I really don’t know but I don’t think he’ll hang around. If we give him a decent opportunity, he’ll act.”

  It wasn’t something he could quantify. This situation, his gut was telling him, would be over in a week, two at the very most.

  Leah touched her ear that contained the earpiece and Seth shook his head. “Don’t touch your ear, it’s an instant giveaway that you are wired.”

  Jett folded his arms across his chest. “If he has a brain in his head then he’ll assume that. He knows you won’t leave her without protection, without knowing where she is at any given moment. This is just part of the game. He wants to connect with you, but he wants Leah, so he has some form of control over you.”

  “Because he knows there would be a good chance of me blowing his head off if I had him alone,” Seth said.

  Instead of looking horrified at his matter-of-fact statement, Leah tipped her head and looked contemplative. “Is that a possibility?”

  Seth sent her a steady look, knowing what she was asking whether shooting his father would be one of his “hard” decisions.

  He shook his head. “I’d like him to spend the rest of his miserable life in solitary but I’ll be satisfied if he’s off the streets. But if there’s a choice between his life or yours, or mine, or one of my men’s, then all bets are off and I will take him out.” Seth saw the worry in her eyes and realized Leah was more concerned about him, his state of mind rather than the precarious situation she’d volunteered herself for. “I don’t think of him as my father. I never had a father and he’s not mine. I have no emotional connection to him.”

  Leah bit her lip and eventually nodded. “Then you won’t suffer any guilt or misplaced emotion about arresting him or, God forbid, hurting him?”

  “No.”

  He absolutely wouldn’t. All he cared about was ending this nightmare, getting Leah home safe and sound. If anything happened to her then he would live with that eating him up from the inside out for the rest of his life and beyond. He could lose Ben, he’d never had him, but he absolutely refused to lose Leah. She was...

  Aw, shit, why was he fighting this? Why not just admit it? She was his everything. She was the place his soul ran to looking for peace, the beat of his heart. He didn’t want to live without her, be without her in any shape or form. He was sick of his life lived in stasis, of just existing, functioning. He wanted the ups and downs, the crazy and the soft. The normal and the bizarre bits of love and life. He wanted it with her.

  Seth opened his mouth to tell her, to say something but Jett spoke first. “Right, Leah, you need to leave. Your yoga studio is a couple of blocks over, are you going to walk or drive?”

  Leah picked up her gym bag and her yoga mat. “What do you suggest?’

  “If you walk he has a better chance of taking you. If you drive, not so much...it’ll delay the process.”

  Seth noticed her trembling fingers and her wobbling lip. He felt a spurt of pride when she straightened her shoulders and sent Jett a weak grin.

  “Let’s give him the best chance possible. Let’s get it over with.”

  “That’s my girl,’ Seth said, walking up to her and placing a hand on her shoulder.

  Leah stepped back and her eyes turned frosty. “But I’m not, am I? Your girl?”

  Seth rubbed his hand across his mouth. He darted a glance at Jett, wondering whether he should tell her that he was over his quest to be alone, that he wanted more. That he wanted everything. Then he remembered where they were and what they were doing and he hardened his heart.

  “We need to park the emotions, Leah.” Seth ordered, his tone rock hard. “This isn’t the time to get into that. We need to get our shit together and concentrate on the mission.”

  He saw the hurt in Leah’s eyes and he wanted to explain his years of training made him able to shove away his emotions and focus. It was better not to say anything. He walked over to the table and picked up the spare ear piece and shoved it into his ear. He pushed a button on his watch and looked at Leah, who was clutching her yoga mat as if her life depended on it.

  “Earpiece working?”

  Leah slapped her hand against her ear and that was confirmation that the device was working. “Don’t flinch, don’t jump, pretend to ignore it. I’ll keep communication to the minimum but just remember I have your back. Nothing is going to happen to you.”

  Leah lifted her chin. “It had better not or Jed and my father will skin ten layers of skin off you.”

  Seth winced, knowing that to be the truth. “Yeah, maybe we should neglect to tell them about this.” He nodded to the hall. “Go on now, we’ll be behind you. Trust us, Leah, trust me.”

  Leah nodded and emotion filled her eyes. “I do. I just wish you could do the same for me.”

  All in all, it was a bit anticlimactic, Leah thought, standing next to Ben in the rotating cable car as it slowly climbed Table Mountain. It took four days of her walking to yoga, to the shops, before a small white car pulled up alongside her. Ben rested the barrel of a pistol on the side of the open widow and, politely, it had to be said, told her get into the car. She complied and within the hour she was standing next to him in the Table Mountain cable car, knowing he kept a firm grip on the pistol hidden in the pocket of his sleeveless, multi-pocketed, khaki jacket.

  The car was full of tourists and Leah relaxed a fraction; she doubted he’d shoot her in front of so many witnesses. Come to think about it, Table Mountain was a stupid place to meet. The world-famous tourist attraction was not only busy but it was an area that didn’t have many escape routes. The cable car or winding paths were the only ways to get off the mountain.

  Leah crossed her foot over her ankles and looked at Ben. Soon they’d reach the top and the heart-stopping close-ups of the mountain’s sheer cliffs, but she took a moment to take in the amazing view of the city bowl, the beaches, and the Atlantic Ocean. “I wanted to bring Seth up here but you’ve kept us rather busy.”

  Ben didn’t reply. In fact, he’d said little besides telling her what to do and where to go and that he’d shoot her if she shouted for help. His face was hard, cold, and determined and she didn’t doubt his word. He looked like he had nothing to lose.

  “Angel, we’re in the car behind you and we’ve had eyes on you the whole way.”

  Leah resisted the urge to place her hand on her ear as relief rolled over her. Every time she heard Seth’s calm, controlled voice she felt a little stronger, more convinced they’d all come out of this situation unscathed.

  “You’re doing great, sweetheart.” Seth added.

  Angel, sweetheart. Leah briefly closed her eyes. God, what she wouldn’t do to hear him call her that for the rest of her life. But that wasn’t meant to be, Seth wasn’t prepared to take that risk, to jump that high and that far.

  “Idiot,” she muttered.

  Ben lifted his eyebrows at her. “Me?”

  “Not you, your son.”

  “He’s not my son, I don’t know him.”

  Leah frowned. “What did you say?”

  “I’m not his father. I’m not Ben Halcott.”

  Leah gasped and gestured to the gun in his pocket. “But then...who are you and why this?”

  Ben, or not-Ben, tipped his head back to rest it against the reinforced window. “I owed a man a favor. He’s not the type of man you say no to.”

  “Keep him talking, Leah.” Seth stated, his voice calm. “Let’s see where this is going.”

  “So
to be clear, you’re not Seth’s father.”

  “Apparently Seth’s father died in a car accident. The fact that I resemble him, looks-wise, is why I’m in this shitty country at the end of the world.”

  “It’s not shitty—” Leah started to defend her adopted country but realized there were more important things to worry about right now.

  Like the fact the car was approaching the station and about to dock. The doors opened and Ben gestured her to step out and, because she had no other choice, she did.

  “Where are we going?” Leah asked, following Seth’s instruction to find out.

  “To the viewing platform fifty meters east of this station.”

  “Good girl.” Seth murmured.

  Ben placed an arm around her waist and Leah tried to put some distance between them but he hauled her back to his side. Leah looked around, sighing when she noticed the flat topped mountain teeming with people. Sunset, the most romantic time of day, and a fantastic photo opportunity. And she was in the company of a madman.

  This wasn’t the best way to visit one of the country’s favorite attractions. Bitch Karma obviously had it in for her.

  “Doors opening. On our way. Hang tough.”

  “Tell me you love me. Just once,” Leah begged Seth. “Just in case.”

  “You know damn well that I do. Now fucking concentrate!”

  Leah stumbled and Ben’s arm kept her from falling flat on her face. Joy and fear swept across her, as wet and as cool as the mist that frequently covered this mountain. What if that was the only “I love you” she ever heard from him? What if fake-Ben had something diabolical up his sleeve, something none of them anticipated? He didn’t seem the type to go out quietly and Leah, for the first time since she opened that car door and put herself at his mercy, felt truly scared.

  She and Seth had a chance at a happily ever after but it all depended on this sick psycho marching her towards a viewing platform that was virtually empty of people. The best views were further along and that was why people came up here at sunset. Leah pulled in rapid, choppy breaths. She wanted to howl and cry, sink to her knees and beg.