The Boyfriend Arrangement: A Fake Marriage Romance

by Lara Swann

  And I didn’t fucking want any other.

  These guys could be trusted. With anything.

  They weren’t going to fuck me over.

  It hurt to know that the tight, unbreakable bond we shared didn’t mean the same as home for most of them.

  They had wives, and parents, and children and all the things I’d never cared about.

  That thought opened the whirlpool again, my crazed emotions spilling out as I drove down the open road.

  I have a home. These guys can be trusted.

  But my mind turned to Bella. Again. Always. Relentlessly.

  The casual banter we’d shared, the laughter and fun and ease. The warmth that simply being around her gave me. The look in her eyes when she saw me coming towards her.

  Her hot, fiery, wildcat eyes. Her sweet, innocent, outraged eyes. Her lustful, adoring, beautiful eyes.

  They haunted me. The pain, hurt and confusion accusing me as they followed me through my mind.

  It was stupid - it couldn’t work. It was never going to be more than a fling.

  A hot, unbelievable, sexy-as-hell fling. With the best woman I’d ever known.

  But that was it - and it was over. Done.

  I knew Bella - there was no way she was going to do anything to upset her father. And this was about as provocative as I could imagine. I wouldn’t ask her to do that for me, put him between us like that. But that didn’t mean I was going to sit around and wait for her to figure that out, wait until she chose his sensibilities over whatever crazed thing was going on between us.

  Sure, maybe the ending didn’t have to be quite so offensive - but on the plus side, she hadn’t tried to contact me. She understood it was over. There was no doubt for either of us. Better that way.

  Go home.

  Fuck it. I didn’t have a home.

  I thought I’d found one in the Navy - and I had.

  It just wasn’t the kind of home that could sustain you, support you, invigorate you. Not indefinitely. Not when it was tied to every violent, stressful moment of your life.

  Home.

  I didn’t want it.

  It made you weak and reliant on others, made you think they weren’t going to turn around and let you down.

  I didn’t need it.

  Becky’s expression came to my mind, unwelcome but insistent as those fierce, uncompromising eyes followed Ryan - full of the kind of love, pride and acceptance I’d always discounted. I pictured Fiona again, with Ray standing protectively over her, her hand wrapped around her belly and a soft smile on her face as she leaned against him.

  I saw the way Bella looked at me. The things she brought out.

  Fuck it.

  I swung the truck around, heading in the direction that had become all too familiar.

  It was stupid. Crazy. Insane.

  But I’d never been one to follow the rules.

  I wanted her.

  I didn’t want to, but I fucking wanted her. More than anything I’d ever felt.

  And I wasn’t going to let her go like this.

  She’d wanted to be part of my life - she’d wanted me to let her in, admit that what we had went beyond a simple lust-filled fling. Something I’d known since the beginning and pushed away, hard.

  I’d thought I could deal with it, that we could play with those dangerous things and get over it in the end.

  The way it was consuming me made me think otherwise.

  Damned girl. Why the fuck does she have to be right?!

  Everything she’d said all along…I shook my head as I revved the engine hard at the lights, plunging full speed ahead even as I had no idea what I was about to do.

  I just knew nothing else felt right.

  I didn’t know how to make it work, not with everything in the way, but damn it - I couldn’t stop trying. She meant at least that much to me.

  I’m a Navy SEAL. Giving up is not an option.

  That was underneath every angry, messed up emotion I’d been struggling with - I’d walked out.

  She hadn’t pushed, I’d just quit it.

  I don’t quit.

  And I couldn’t let myself start now. I might not know how I was going to win this, but damn it, I would.

  We would.

  I’d give this crazy thing between us a chance and see what happened.

  At least, so long as could I convince her not to throw me out on my ass.

  * * *

  I slipped into my room without anyone noticing, having already checked the pool area that Bella liked to hang out at.

  She hadn’t been there - thank god. I didn’t want to risk this out in the open, and I wasn’t sure I could wait.

  It only took a minute to slip out down my balcony and over to the piping I’d always used to climb up to hers - the movements were familiar and automatic while I tried to control my breathing and work out what the hell I was doing.

  I still didn’t know as I gave the room a quick glance - clear except for the girl sitting at her desk, eyes in front of that computer she was entirely too fond of.

  Okay, whatever deity watched over fools and idiots had been with me so far - let’s hope my luck held.

  I opened the balcony door and stepped in, making more than my customary noise to alert her.

  I couldn’t read her expression as she jumped up and looked at me, but whatever it had been was quickly replaced with cold anger.

  “What the hell are you doing here, asshole?”

  Probably fair.

  And I fucking wished I knew.

  I stopped thinking, and just acted.

  I was in front of her in moments, and then I had her in my arms, the strength of my body wrapped around her pretty, petite form as she glared up at me. The stiffness made it clear I wasn’t welcome, but I couldn’t help myself. I’d thought of nothing but this for days. I reached down gently to kiss her, a gentle whisper across her lips as I inhaled her flowery, feminine scent. Her mouth reacted for an instant, and I withdrew before she could object, letting my hand cup her chin and tilt her face up to me as I tried to resist the urge to crush her to me.

  “I’m sorry, babe. Fucking hell, I’m sorry. I’m a bastard.”

  Her eyes glistened with unshed tears and she pushed against me. I let her go, as much as it tore at me.

  “You can’t just come back here like this! You left!”

  “Fuck, I know. I did. And I shouldn’t have—”

  “Forget it Seth. I’m done. I’m not interested in your twisted little fling. I’m fucking mad as hell I let myself fall for it again and—”

  “I don’t want that.”

  I stepped closer, my arms going around her again as I looked into the eyes bright with pain and anger.

  “I want you, baby-Bella. Properly. You were right - it was never a fling.”

  Her eyes brightened with tears and I couldn’t help myself - I leaned down and kissed them away.

  “What?”

  “What we were doing was never casual. It was never nothing. And I’m sorry as hell that I ever wanted it to be.”

  The suspicion and distrust in her eyes hurt me and I kissed her again, my mouth still soft and gentle against hers as she slowly let herself open to it - for just a moment before she pulled back.

  “No, Seth. I can’t do this again. You…left and I’m…fucking…done…”

  She was hiccuping now, upset and struggling to get the words out. I tried to cup her cheek again, but she pushed me away, and that seemed to give her a spurt of anger enough to finish the sentence.

  “Done with waiting for the crumbs of your life you decide to share with me. With crying over this ever-changing idea of what I mean to you.”

  I put my arms around her as she burst into tears, scrabbling at me a little before she finally went still in my arms and gave into the comfort. Her words, her pain, were tearing at me and I stood there for a long moment, rubbing her back and murmuring softly. When the sobs calmed and she turned to glare at me again, I took a deep breath. />
  “Listen, Bella. Just listen to me for a moment, okay? And then, if you want, I’ll leave and you’ll never have to see me again.”

  She didn’t say anything, but she didn’t stop me as I moved us over to sit on the bed, one hand resting on her shoulder and playing with the ponytail of her hair.

  “You’re right, okay? I shut you out. This…this whole thing might be new for you - having your father introduce Cora and change everything about your life, but it’s not for me. My mother’s brought more guys come into my life than I can remember - some of them would stick around for weeks, or months, a couple even for years. Some would barely have an impact, but others would change everything. Where we lived, how we lived, what we did - everything. Most I didn’t give a shit about. At the beginning, some of them, I did. Didn’t matter either way - every fucking guy left.”

  She was looking at me with those big eyes of hers, and for some reason that was what came out. I was telling her things I never thought I’d tell anyone. Things I never thought about. Had never wanted to think about, and definitely not talk about.

  But it was the truth and, hell, she deserved that I guess.

  “That doesn’t matter now, none of it does. I’ve got my own life - and it’s stable no matter what my mother does. She can live however she wants, but at the end of the day, I’ve always got that, and it matters a hell of a lot more than the families she ever built. I’ve never let her, or any of her guys, touch it. It’s mine. And I didn’t want to get it mixed up with anything temporary. I’ve made my own home, and I didn’t want to bring anything into it that was never going to be permanent - that could never go anywhere.”

  The anger had slowly slipped away from her face, but her eyes were still too bright. At least the sympathy I’d dreaded seeing wasn’t there, and she didn’t seem so inclined to push me out of her room. Instead, she leaned against me and sighed, shaking her head.

  “Maybe you were right. I wouldn’t have wanted to do that to you.”

  Something squeezed in my heart as I shook my head at her simple compassion. All the hurt and anger it had caused…that she was willing to accept it was more than I’d expected.

  She was a better person than I’d ever been.

  When she looked up at me again, the anger and upset was gone, but her soft face was written with sadness.

  “It still can’t go anywhere, Seth. Our parents—”

  “Fuck our parents.”

  The harsh words shocked her - shocked me a little - but I couldn’t help it. I was done using that as an excuse. If this was destined to fail, so be it, but I wanted to damn well find out for myself.

  And with the way she was looking at me, the way her soft words made me feel, I wasn’t going to give up that easily.

  “Do you want this, Bella? I want to let you in - I want to show you my life. Make you part of it. If you still want to be.”

  I held her gaze as I saw the hesitation there, watched as she tried to decide whether to make the leap with me. It was crazy, and we were stupid to continue pursuing this, but I wasn’t ready to stop - and from the way she looked at me, I didn’t think she was either.

  “But what about…everything?”

  That’s a good way to sum up what was stopping us. Everything.

  “We deal with that when we come to it. Hell, might be getting to know me drives you away anyway. I’m a Navy SEAL, and there are more than enough challenges with that, even forgetting everything else. If we get that far…we can worry about it then.”

  “The wedding is three weeks away, Seth.”

  “So we have three weeks to decide if this is worth letting loose all hell.”

  Of course, I was pretty sure I’d already made up my mind.

  But then again, hell had never bothered me.

  “And if it is? You really think we can make it work?”

  Fuck it, the girl never stopped with the questions.

  “Stop thinking, Bella. I’m a Navy SEAL - I can do damn well anything.”

  I pulled her into me, my mouth closing on hers with all the intensity and passion I’d held at bay before, giving her a fucking good reason to stop thinking. She moaned, melting into me again in the way I’d missed so badly, and it only took a moment before she shifted around to sit on top of me, resting on my suddenly interested cock.

  “Okay. Okay, we’ll try it Seth. But god-damn you’d better make it up to me.”

  I grinned up at her, something easing inside me that I hadn’t even realized was tight and hard.

  “Mm, I can do that. I have some great ideas for how to do that.”

  I started by nuzzling along her mouth, down her neck, but she pulled me up with a light laugh that was a perfect contrast to the tear tracks still streaking her face.

  “Not like that. I want more, Seth.”

  Her eyes were hard beyond the laughter and I nodded, another idea taking me.

  “Come with me to Becky’s in a couple of days then. I promised I’d head over there to do a few odds-and-ends anyway - you can come meet her, the kids. See what being a military wife means.”

  Okay. That last part was so not intended that way.

  She caught on it anyway, raising a brow immediately.

  “Wife?”

  “For reference. Nothing else. Just so you know. You wanted to know.”

  So why the hell was my heart pounding so damned fast?!

  She just grinned at my discomfort, leaning forward for another distracting kiss.

  “Alright, yeah, I’d like that.”

  “Good, that’s settled then. Now can I make it up to you in those other ways?”

  Her hands roamed across my chest, down and around my back, and there was amusement in her eyes as she shifted teasingly on my cock.

  “Almost. There’s a fairly exclusive party next week - I don’t think anyone we know will be there. Come with me.”

  The idea of taking Bella out in public and giving this a chance to be real sent a strange mix of excitement and anxiety through me. I didn’t want this getting back to her father - if we went for it, he needed to find out from us - but I couldn’t deny the attraction.

  “Okay, done.”

  I turned my attention to her lips again, hands running over her soft body to hold her hips as they settled against me, but she was still murmuring into my lips.

  “It’s fancy dress.”

  At the dubious rise of my brow, she shrugged.

  “Okay, okay, too far. I know better than to think you’d dress up. Good thing it’s optional.”

  “Good.”

  My voice was a low rumble in my chest and I was done with talking. Bella had agreed to continue with this crazy thing, and it had been too long since I’d felt her warm, bare skin against mine.

  I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my mouth with a ferocity I could barely control, hearing her gasp and wriggle under me while I devoured her mouth with mine. It felt so damn good, and my hands explored every part of the soft body I’d missed. From the way she mimicked my actions, it seemed I wasn’t the only one who felt that pressing urgency. I only broke the kiss for a moment to rip her t-shirt off, and then my fingers had her bra unclasped, opening her pert breasts for my attention. She moaned as my fingers closed around them, rocking and squirming against me in a way that was driving me crazy.

  At least she’s wearing a skirt this time…

  One arm lifted her and the other had her panties stretched around her knees within moments and she gasped with the quick actions, wriggling around until they were off completely. Then her hands attacked my belt, my mouth trailing kisses down across her chest until I got to the hard tits I could never resist. A few flicks of my tongue as I sucked them into my mouth had her distracted until her hands weakened in their efforts. I grunted and finished the job for her, pulling the jeans down until my cock sprang up, more than eager for the waiting heat that had been perched above it.

  She settled back down onto me without any encouragement, my cock slipping
into her with an ease that felt like it had been made for her hot pussy. Maybe it had. The way I felt inside her, I wouldn’t be surprised.

  She moaned hard as she started riding me in time with the short thrusts of my hips, sinking herself further and further onto my thick hardness.

  “God, Seth…”

  That breathless voice told me just how much she’d missed me and I would have grinned if I hadn’t been too wrapped up in her perfect body, in the way her arms clutched at me while I drove her crazy with mouth, fingers and cock.

  We were too needy, to desperate for this to make it more than a hard, fast passionate explosion as I started speeding up my movements, holding her hips to help her balance as I pistoned into and out of her, grunting every time I felt her hit the base of my cock. Our mouths latched greedily onto one another, tongues fucking in parallel to our bodies until I felt my release coming roaring up at me, balls tightening up as I groaned into her tempting, teasing mouth.

  Her breath hitched as she started nearing her own climax, and that was all it took to have me exploding within her, feeling my seed shoot out into her as that threw her over the edge as well, crying out into my mouth while her hands gripped my shoulders tight.

  I’d missed those scratch marks.

  That was the only sensible thought I found myself forming as she pushed me down against the bed, curling up in my arms as I slipped out of her and we took deep, gasping breaths, recovering slowly together.

  My body eased with more than just the blissful climax as I lay there like that, and the feeling that snuck up on me snatched at the breath I was only just getting back.

  I’d come home.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Bella

  “Are you sure you’re ready? I mean, this one looks pretty good.”

  Seth’s fingers trailed over a nearly-transparent pink blouse and I scowled at the amusement in his expression as he looked over the clothes laid in disarray on my bed. I’d finally put together the casual shorts and t-shirt outfit after changing it a dozen times, and apparently he found it hilarious to make me question it all over again.

  “Try that, and we’ll be here for another hour.”

  He turned to grin at me, grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the door.