Anything She Wants

by Samantha Lucas

  He’d seen the real Keely over the past few weeks and whatever had brought her to become dependent on a rich older man was her business. He wouldn’t let that bother him. He only needed her to tell him the truth about the relationship. He knew he could get her to see how much more they could have together if he tried hard enough. But now she was throwing around words like “contract” and “her”?

  He moved to stand behind her. The heat ratcheting higher by the glass door as the afternoon sun started to come through. His fingers gently ran the length of her arm from shoulder to elbow. He didn’t think he’d ever get enough of her skin. He wanted a lifetime to stroke and touch it. He kissed her head, her temple.

  “Tell me. I’ll try my best to understand. I will.”

  She turned into his arms and melted against him and for a split second he thought he’d won—the beast that held her devotion was dead. Then, “Can’t you just understand that I can’t make you understand?”

  He fought to hold back a laugh, wanting to erupt over her twisted sentence. He rubbed her back and pulled her tighter against himself. She fit so perfectly and he hated himself for getting aroused at a moment like this, but there was very little he could do about it. Unless he released her from his arms, in about three seconds she was going to know it as well. Regretfully, he took a step back.

  “Keely, I understand you have feelings for me. I understand that the guy you’re with doesn’t really give a damn about you, if in ten years he’s never brought you to orga…”

  She stuck her fingers over his lips. “Please. This is all embarrassing enough.”

  He could have moved his head back and released her touch, but he’d have had to been crazy to, so instead he muttered through the weak barricade.

  “But sweetheart, that’s what I’m trying to say. It shouldn’t be embarrassing. You and me together are different. Nothing can be too embarrassing or hard to talk about.” He placed his palms on either side of her face and tilted her head until she looked him in the eye.

  “In thirty-six years, I’ve never felt the things I do for you. Your essence calls to me in a way I couldn’t even begin to explain. My heart somehow knows yours and isn’t prepared to give you up. I love so many things about you and though I know we could be together a hundred years and still not know everything about each other, I’d like to try.”

  He kissed her forehead, leaving his lips pressed against it as he continued.

  “I love your laugh.” He brought his head back down to look into her eyes once more. “Your devotion to your family. You are smart and sexy and passionate as hell. I want to be the one who brings that passion out and I want to know everything about you from the day and hour you were born. I want to see if we can build something permanent here, and permanent is not a word I use lightly. But I feel it with you, only you. Do you understand that?”

  She pulled back, but didn’t walk away.

  “It’s my devotion to my family that keeps me chained to Derik. So you see, one of the things you love about me, is the one thing that will never let us be.”

  This time she did walk away. Moved to the sofa put back on her shoes and turned to look at him once more. Clutching to her heart, the paper with her brother’s information on it, she gave him a sad smile.

  “Thank you for this. You’ll never know what it means to me.”

  In three strides he was across the living room and had his hands none too delicately on her shoulders, he cringed as he fought the urge to shake her.

  “Then you owe me.” He leashed the fear that was quickly turning to fury within him. “If you’re leaving anyway, what’s the truth going to hurt?”

  He dropped his hands and went to his front door, latching the dead bolt and pressing his back to the door. If she was going to leave, she’d have to go through him to do it.

  “I won’t let you leave until you’ve told me everything. If I’m to give up my one shot at happily ever after, you owe it to me to tell me why.”

  • • •

  Nick looked at his watch for the umpteenth time. It was nearing three and she hadn’t said a word or moved one step since he’d given her his ultimatum over an hour ago. His foot had gone to sleep since. He still stood with his back to the door, forbidding her exit. Never in his life would he have thought of himself as the kidnapping sort, but holding a young woman against her will was exactly what he was doing now, and he was finding out first-hand just how strong that will of hers was.

  “Look, you’re going to miss your phone call if we don't stop this. If I move away from the door, will you at least stay until after you’ve called? In case there’s some problem getting through, I might be able to help.”

  He ran his hand over his head and squeezed some of the tension from his neck while she looked at him quite deliberately. She had backbone, he’d give her that. Was she sizing him up? Deciding whether she could make a break for it? Whether he’d run after her? He wasn’t sure himself. Everything about him seemed to be different since he’d met her—since he saw her, really. There was something about her that called to him and he was sure she felt it too. What could be so great she’d give that up?

  Maybe it was just that she was young, she didn’t realize yet how extraordinary the potential they held was. He wondered how long it would take her to figure it out, and would she be sorry she gave up on him so easily?

  “I’ll stay. Just ‘til I’ve talked with Peter.”

  He let out a deep breath and hadn’t realized how much tension his body had been holding onto. He took one step away from the door and looked her dead in the eye. “You promise?”

  It was a challenge, because he didn’t completely trust her at this point. She must have seen it in his eyes because she gruffly folded her arms across her chest and sat, flouncing herself onto the sofa with the biggest heaping of displeasure he’d ever seen.

  “It won’t make any difference, but yeah, I promise.” She looked away from him and began staring at his books on his bookshelves as if they were the most important thing in the world. He headed towards his bedroom. “The cordless is in here.” He pointed towards the closed door, she acted as if she never even heard him.

  “I’m just going to make a quick call myself. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He closed his bedroom door and sank down onto his bed. Sighing heavily as he dropped his weary head into his palms. She couldn’t leave, he had to figure something out. Never in all his life had he met a woman so adamant, so strong-willed, so damn stubborn.

  The gist of it was that she was willing to risk her future happiness, and his, too, for that matter of it, just to keep her bloody secrets. He looked at his watch, forty minutes was all he had, it was going to have to be enough. He moved over to the small glass and wrought iron desk and flipped on his computer, then he dialed the number of an old friend for backup.

  • • •

  At precisely three twenty-six he came from his bedroom. She’d used her time productively. The table had been cleared, and no one would have been able to tell a huge breakfast had been prepared that morning in his kitchen. He felt more than a little guilty they’d hardly shared two bites of her hard work. She gave him a tight smile as he handed her the phone. She looked at the paper she still held as if it were the secret of life, then at the clock in the kitchen.

  “I think it’s close enough. Go ahead and call.”

  She smiled and nodded, then took the phone back into the living room and began pacing back and forth in front of the glass door as she dialed. He watched her, thinking she wasn’t going to walk away from him that easily. He wouldn’t let her, and it was as much for her good as his. He only wished either himself or Matthew had been able to come up with more in the short amount of time he had, but it would have to be enough. He smiled, feeling shameless for interrupting Matthew on his honeymoon. At least Sasha had been kind to him.

  He could see the tension flowing out from her in waves. She was holding her breath as well. He moved beside her and ran his hands down her ar
ms.

  “Relax.” He whispered soothingly in her ear, and she fell back against him, for a half second before lurching forward.

  “Peter?”

  He moved quietly away and tried not to eaves drop. Much of what he did overhear didn’t make sense anyway. It was obvious there was some tension between the brother and sister, but that she loved him very much. She was worried about him as any family member was about their loved one being in harm’s way. When her voice died down to a whisper and she deliberately covered the mouth piece of the phone, he moved back into the kitchen to respect her privacy.

  When he looked up Sergeant Peter Thornhill, he’d been impressed by the young man’s work ethic. He’d risen to the top quickly and was well thought of by his unit. He wished he could speak to the young man directly; maybe then he’d get some answers.

  He decided the kitchen counters were in need of another scrub, grabbed the purple sponge from the sink and attempted to work out some aggressions with it. He smiled thinking how badly West would razz him about this, but his mother would have been proud of him.

  She hung up the phone a half an hour later and with tears in her eyes, held it out to him. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

  He hugged her to him. Held her in silence for as long as she needed. When he felt her edge back, he captured her face in his palm and brushed her cheek with his thumb. He wanted her to come to him. He didn’t want to have to chase her, make her feel hunted, but in a way that was what he was doing. She’d have every right to be royally ticked off at him once she learned what he’d done. He was hoping she’d be forthcoming with him and he’d never have to tell her, but looking in her eyes now, he could tell that hope was futile. She was preparing to leave him. Watching her walls come up, he felt he had no other choice. He kissed her.

  He kissed her passionately as a dying man getting his last request, and when she surrendered to the kiss with a sexy, breathy moan, he hauled her body up tight against his and ratcheted up the fire and intensity.

  He was hard and aching a moment later when she broke apart from him on a sob. Her light tears of earlier being replaced by the most gut wrenching cries he’d ever heard. She clutched at him tightly as she sank to the floor. He went down with her, worrying she couldn’t breathe.

  “It’s my mother. He’ll take everything from her if I leave him.”

  Her eyes met his and he saw deep horrible wounds as plainly as if her beautiful face actually bore the scars of her soul that were so evident in this moment.

  “Everything, Nick.”

  She collapsed against him, her cries tearing his heart apart, and all he could do was hold her.

  He had no idea how long he held her. No idea how long she cried. Nor did he have any idea why he was now making her tea, or why he had any in the first place. It seemed to him his mother was always suggesting tea when anyone got upset, so the instinct must have been inherited and kicked in for him.

  She looked so dejected, so small, sitting on his sofa staring off into space. He placed the tea on the table in front of her. He’d done this to her; he’d pushed until she cracked. He had to remember this wasn’t Matthew or West he was dealing with. This was a girl, a lady, one who had fragile qualities he needed to be mindful of. He pushed her long hair behind her shoulder. He simply didn’t know what else to do.

  “Every day I can remember of my life before I turned five, all my mother ever told me was how I ruined everything for her. Do you have any idea how horrible that is? How worthless it makes you feel? How desperate a person can become to win another person’s approval?”

  She still stared off into space and Nick wondered if she even realized she spoke aloud, or that he was sitting beside her. He figured the questions were rhetorical and didn’t try answering, at least she was talking to him.

  “I wasn’t supposed to happen. She was set—her life perfect—until me.”

  She wiped her cheek hard as if she could wipe away more than the wetness and mascara that had run down her cheeks. As if she thought some of the pain would come off too.

  “Then she married Seldon, the only man I ever knew as a father. Things were happy for a while after that. Peter came, then Rissa. He used to toss us up in the air and catch us. He used to take us on picnics. I loved him.”

  He saw a small light invade her pupils, then fade.

  “Then he left us. That’s when mom really changed. She became, I don't know, focused? She decided that we would save her. She prepared us all for what we would do in life.

  “Rissa was going to be a great pianist, allowing us into the best social circles. Peter was going to be the next Donald Trump, supporting mom in the style she was used to—before I ruined it for her.”

  She stopped there. Nick wasn’t even sure he wanted to know what this woman’s plans had been for Keely. He didn’t realize at first he was holding his breath, when he did, he released it slowly hoping not to distract her or snap her back to reality and close her up again.

  She got up, graceful as a swan and as elegant as any woman he’d ever seen she moved to the balcony and opened the door, letting a blast of hot summer air invade the temperature controlled living room before she stepped outside. By the time he joined her, she was leaning on the railing, gazing out over the courtyard below.

  “Did you know I can see the fireworks from Disneyland from this balcony? From my bedroom window as well. Silly how forward I look to them each night.”

  He put his arm around her and leaned into her hair, breathing deeply of the scent that intoxicated him. He didn’t know what he was saying or why he was talking to her of fireworks as if nothing was going on between them, but there it was, fireworks.

  She seemed calmer now, he wondered if she would ever tell him the rest. He didn’t feel as sure of himself now as to ask so he merely held her. It was a hot summer afternoon. The second he stepped onto the small balcony the sweat started forming over his skin. The California heat was different from the heat back home. It had a way of seeping into your bones, rather than just laying on your skin.

  He nudged her head with his in gentle affection, realizing nothing else mattered but her. If she’d only give him three weeks, he’d take it and be damn glad for them.

  “Keely.”

  She put her fingers to his lips, then replaced them briefly with her own. The kiss was bittersweet, but he was certain it wasn’t good-bye this time.

  “I was to become a rich man’s mistress. I was given poise and elocution lessons. I was trained in art and music, political sciences, world affairs. Would you believe I speak seven languages fluently? Mom was never sure which country she’d find a man for me in, so she expected me to be well prepared.

  “My lessons became a way for me to earn the approval and praise I had always craved, from my instructors if not directly from her, so I pushed myself past all my limits to learn anything anyone asked of me. Pathetic that, isn’t it?”

  She didn’t pause long enough for him to respond, after a deep breath, she continued.

  “On my sixteenth birthday, I was told she’d found someone and that I’d be meeting with him later that night. She took me to the salon, had my hair and nails done, spent a fortune on clothes, and undergarments and that night I lost my virginity to Derik. I’ve been with him ever since.”

  Rage burned an incendiary track through all his senses. They stood in silence for a while, he still held her, if anything tighter now, he never wanted to give her back and he’d be damned if he would. He decided in that moment that she belonged to him and he’d fight to the death to win her away from the life she was currently living. He felt revulsion in a way he never had in his life before that moment.

  Sixteen? Barely a baby. She had no right! What kind of a mother...

  His thoughts were interrupted as he realized she was speaking again.

  “I had no say that night, but even if I had, I doubt I would have done anything differently. For once in my life, she seemed proud of me. I would have slept with the devil t
o get her approval, and Derik’s been kind for the most part.

  “When I turn thirty, he releases me and I get a settlement, and get to keep the house mom lives in now, the apartment we sort of share, everything he’s ever bought me…but if I leave him, or betray him, I get nothing.

  “Mom gets nothing.

  “She’d be penniless, out on the street. The only money she has is her share of the allowance Derik gives me, and I don’t think she’s been saving it. Plus, where would I go? I’m a twenty-six year old woman who’s never worked a day in her life. Who’s going to give me a job now?”

  She shook her head.

  “No. It makes no difference. Being around you makes me want, but I can’t have. I won’t play the victim, it’s my choice to stay and it hasn’t been so bad really. Until I met you, I never regretted it exactly. Although it is why Peter’s in the army now, and Rissa and mom haven’t spoken in two years.”

  She looked listlessly back out over the courtyard.

  “When Peter found out what I was doing, and that it was Derik’s money that had paid for all his schooling, he flipped. He joined the army the next day, and none of us has ever seen him since. Rissa moved in with her high school sweetheart, Guy, who you’ve met. Now they’re having a baby. She never really loved the music, anyway. She was technically flawless, but she never felt it, here.”She placed her hand on his heart and looked up at him with sad eyes.

  It was all he could do to keep from crying himself. Crying for her lost innocence and for the way she was defending what had happened and crying for the love between them that might never get a chance now.

  “So now you know everything. I can only imagine what you must be thinking about me. I’d hoped to avoid slipping off that pedestal. I’d never been on one before. I rather liked it.”

  She pulled out of his arms, making her way back inside the apartment. Nick stood stunned on the balcony, he couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t even think really. What kind of a family was this? They all knew and did nothing about it. The kind thoughts he’d been having about Peter earlier were dashed. He should have stood up for his sister as being the man in the family.