He watched her again as she watched sharks. Her expression was anything but guarded, she looked sad, confused. When he was able to walk he took the few steps that brought him next to her again and touched her shoulders. She immediately fell back on him.
“What is it?”
“I’ve never wanted before.” She answered him on a whisper. When she turned her head to meet his gaze in the dim light, he saw the desire mixed with confusion.
“I don't know what to do with these feelings.”
He smiled at her for a moment, running his thumb over her cheek and realizing he didn’t have any answers either. If they’d been at his apartment, he wasn’t sure he would have been able to stop and that fact scared him. He took her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.
“You wanna go see penguins?”
Her smile was so sweet it made his heart ache. “Is it dark?”
He laughed. “Yeah. How about we check out the shops instead?”
“That sounds good.”
Nick hadn’t ever liked shopping before. Being the youngest boys, he and Freddie had been stuck with his mother and sisters enough to know...shopping was women’s terrain and just plain boring. Not so with Keely, he discovered. She surprised him. She liked a lot of the same things he did. They looked at art and books. One store full of maps kept them busy for a long time discussing places they’d been, places they wanted to see.
She of course picked up every soft animal and squeezed it declaring each one the cutest thing she’d ever seen. He bought her a Shamu, she demanded a shark and gave him a knowing look when she said, “Something to remember them by of course.”
He laughed and took their purchases to the nearest cashier. When he found her again she was wistfully looking at a Lego display, watching several children building great masterpieces. He understood. He took her hand in his and silently they moved on but when they got to the pearl shop, he made her stop.
“They used to have a pearl diving show where a couple of divers would go down into this big tank and pull up the oysters.”
“Wow. I bet that was cool.”
He shrugged. “It bored me, but then I didn’t have anybody I wanted to buy jewelry for then, either.”
She gave him a nervous smile.
“Don't buy me jewelry, Nick. As it is, I’m going to have to leave these at Rissa’s.”
She raised the stuffed shark and whale in her arms as she spoke. The sadness in her eyes made his heart ache. He took her by the elbow.
“Fine, but let’s watch them open the pearls for a minute or two. I think you’ll like it.”
• • •
Keely had seen this before. Atlantic City, she thought. She’d been so charmed by it, but Derik had lectured her about getting conned like a pathetic tourist and they’d moved on. Right now, Nick had his arms wrapped around her and she leaned her back against his chest as they watched one excited customer after another pick an oyster and find a pearl inside. Her romantic heart, the one she’d long kept silent, was screaming that she wanted one too, but she kept her mouth quiet.
“Can we get something to eat? I’m suddenly famished again.”
He kissed her temple. “Sure.”
They ate pizza and ice cream, she felt like an eight year old on a birthday binge. After that Nick took her to pet manta rays and to watched sea otters play. He didn’t seem to have any kind of plan. As something struck him, he’d say let’s go see it and they’d go. They criss-crossed the park all afternoon into the early evening. She was exhausted, but it had been the best day of her life and she wouldn’t have traded a minute of it.
Nick led her out over the water inside a glass walkway. Killer whales swam beneath their feet. She wasn’t sure there could be anything more incredible, until she’d looked up at Nick. He was glowing as he watched the mammals glide effortlessly through the water. She couldn’t help kissing him.
The kiss was different for her. Everything around them disappeared as it always did, but somehow she felt herself falling into him, he became a part of her, and she him. She felt her eyes tearing up, but didn’t care, it was as if he were physically touching her heart, she didn’t understand, but she wasn’t going to stop it either.
As his lips parted, softly inviting her, she touched her tongue to his. She’d swear a light shot through her and she was changed, different, but how exactly she wasn’t sure. She pushed her fingers into the hair that curled at his neck, and brushed her thumb below his ear. Air couldn’t have gotten between their bodies. She heard an older couple comment as they walked by them, “Honeymooners. Isn’t that sweet?”
She had to pull away then. When her gaze met his, she knew he’d felt it, too. Neither of them acknowledge it with words. She wasn’t sure there were any words that could have expressed it right anyway. She followed him in silence as he led her below ground to watch the gigantic whales swim from a different angle.
Somehow she felt like she could feel them and wondered if they could ever sense her. As a child she’d always felt connected to the animals. She remembered sneakily feeding and aiding any wounded ones she found. She wanted so badly to touch one of the gigantic creatures as they floated past her. Instead she settled for holding her palm flat against the glass as one swam by.
She looked at Nick, he was watching her again. Her eyes went back to the whales, how was three weeks ever going to be enough?
• • •
“You sure you don’t want to go on any of the rides?” He asked her as they sat side by side on a white stone bench.
“No. But can we go back to the tide pools? That was very cool!”
He laughed as he stood and held out his hand to her. He’d been so wonderful all day. She never even imagined anyone this wonderful could exist. What was wrong with Angie and how on earth was he still single?
She held up a sea star for him with a huge smile on her face. He took her picture. She wondered if she’d be able to keep any of the pictures they’d shot today. At the apartment, hidden of course, but then she’d be able to relive this day at a moment’s notice. His fingers gently ran across the skin of her neck sending shivers into her soul.
“We better line up for Shamu. This show’s got the fireworks and it’s the most popular.”
His voice had that raspy quality to it she was coming to understand. She put the tiny creature back in its home, touched him one last time and wished him God’s speed. Taking the paper towels he held out for her to dry her hands on, she looked into his eyes. For a moment the sadness tried to take hold, but she pushed it back. She had Shamu to go see, after all.
They got their seats, far enough away to be out of the splash zone. It had been fun earlier to be drowned with salt water, but it was dark and cooler now, so they sat further back. Nick bought them sodas from a vendor. He handed her one and held his paper cup up to her.
“To an absolutely perfect Tuesday.”
She smiled and gently touched her cup to his. It had been a wonderfully perfect day, she had to agree with him, but hadn’t every day been perfect since he’d come into her life?
“To be in the water with one of these great animals must be like stepping into heaven.” She mused.
“Someday, maybe you’ll let me take you to this place I know in the Bahamas. You can swim with dolphins there.”
The fireworks began and she startled into Nick’s arms. Closing her eyes lightly.
She could not fall in love with him. Could not! She settled into his arms, they watched Shamu jump into the air as fireworks heralded his feat. He was definitely right about one thing though. This was perfection.
• • •
She was so tired by the time they got home, she didn’t want to change out of her clothes. Nick pulled off her pants and tucked her under the blankets.
“I feel like a five year old.”
He chuckled as he looked down at the woman in his bed. “Honey, you don’t look five.”
The lecherous tone in his voice made her laugh. She tossed a pi
llow at him and sat up to remove her bra from under her shirt. He left the room and came back a few minutes later ready for bed and climbed in beside her. She couldn’t stop the sigh that escaped her.
“Will it bother you if I watch TV for a while?”
She snuggled into her spot against his side, with her head on his shoulder.
“No.” She said on a yawn. He tucked her just a little closer and she closed her eyes as the TV light began to flicker on the bedroom walls.
When she woke, she had no way of knowing how long she’d slept for, but Nick was straddling her thighs and running his hands seductively down her sides. She was instantly breathless.
“Sorry.” His devilish smile took her breath. She was instantly aching for his touch. “Did I wake you?”
Chapter Fifteen
The devilish glint in his eyes told her just how sorry he really was. She giggled and wanted to squirm, but the weight he had on her wouldn’t allow it. She rubbed a hand over her eyes, then left it to rest on her forehead as his fingers brushed a nipple, sending ripples of desire through her entire body.
“What are you doing?”
He smiled again. “If you don't know, then I’m not doing it right.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “That’s not what I meant.”
But what did she mean then? His touch was short-circuiting her brain, she wasn’t sure what she was saying. She groaned as the flat of his hand ran the entire length of her body from neck to where he sat. It ran between her breasts and now each was crying out for attention.
He scooted down her legs further and folded back her tank top baring her belly. His tongue laved her, while his hands slid over the curve of her waist, coming to rest on her hips. She involuntarily writhed beneath him. She wanted him, bad.
“You okay, baby?”
“Mm-hmm.” How could she not be?
He fell down gently on her, nuzzling his mouth against her neck, his thumb brushing back and forth over one nipple. She suddenly thought it was very hot in that room and wondered if the air had been turned down, or off. Her breathing became more and more erratic and then she realized—she was wet.
She sprang up in the bed causing Nick to fall off her.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
She was too quick to answer, but she was also a little freaked out. She must have gotten this way the other night when he was playing with her, but she’d been to busy trying not to freak out to notice. Tears began to roll down her cheeks and Nick took her in his arms.
“I’m sorry, Keely. So sorry.”
She pushed away from him.
“No. It’s not you.”
She brushed tears from her cheeks, then turned bright red at the thought of telling him what it was. She swallowed and took a deep breath.
“I’m not broken.”
She fell back onto the bed with a burst of laughter and kicked her legs. Nick looked down at her as if she were crazy. It only made her laugh harder. Finally he gave up trying to figure it out and lay beside her, their heads were lightly touching. She turned to her side and ran her hand along his cheek. He was a dear, dear man. How would she ever survive without him?
She brought her face as close as she could get and still be able to see into his eyes. She took another breath. “You made me wet.”
That smile of his could kill a woman, she was sure of it.
“I know, baby.”
She propped herself up on her elbow and flung long curly strands of hair over her shoulder.
“No, you don't understand. I’ve never...” she started stuttering over her words until he finally sat up and took both her hands in his pulling her up beside him.
“He doesn’t turn you on, Keely. It doesn’t mean you’re broken, it means you’re selective.”
“But he blames me. We have to use...” she lowered her voice and her lashes. “lubricant.”
“Sweetheart, lots of people do. Why do you think they sell the stuff?”
She shrugged as another tear ran down her cheek. “Derik always said it was my fault.”
She lowered her gaze, not wanting to see Nick’s reaction. He slid his fingers under her hair and brushed her lobe with his thumb.
“You are an incredibly sexy and desirable woman. I’ve never wanted a woman the way I want you. You’re gorgeous, sweet, compassionate...” he put his fingers behind her neck and pulled her forehead to his lips.
“Lay back, Keely.” He laid her back on the pillows and whispered in her ear. “Let me make you wet again.”
All the air was sucked from her lungs. The combination of his words, tone and that sexy half smile of his were lethal. He nuzzled at her neck and shoulders then began kissing a trail over her shirt, sucking one nipple through the fabric, then biting the other. He wasn’t giving her a chance to catch her breath from one glorious touch to another. Then he moved down farther and when his fingers grazed the skin beneath the elastic of her panties she had to make conscious effort to breathe.
Soon after he had them off completely and had moved down between her legs, but she wanted so much more this time. Nick looked up into her eyes and laid a hand on her stomach.
“Relax, Keely. Just relax.”
She laid her head back against the pillows and felt the first pass of his tongue. He made her feel things she never had before and it was better than anything she’d ever read about or even imagined. It wasn’t long before he had her writhing off the bed. She thought she might die from the sensations. He brought her to the brink again and again and then just when she thought she’d explode, he’d ease back and make her want to kill him.
Sweet torture. It was the only way to describe it.
When she finally couldn’t take it another minute she cried out her plea and he took her over the edge. It was the most powerful thing she’d ever felt in all her life and as she was still shaking with aftershocks and unable to move, Nick came up beside her.
“I want to be inside you someday when you come apart like that.”
His voice was rough and thick. It barely sounded like him. She didn’t think she could form words if she tried. He took her in his arms and she swiftly fell into a contented and satisfied sleep.
• • •
Nick lay awake for a long while, wondering if it was possible to die from want, because if it was, the girl was going to kill him. When she woke a while later, he was barely cooled off. She turned in his arms until she was on her stomach, her head propped up on her fists, his one arm around her waist, his hand resting at the swell of her butt.
“We can’t make love, can we?”
“No.”
He hoped the strain in his voice wasn’t too obvious. Never before had his commitment been so difficult to keep. He’d come so close to plunging into her tonight when she came. He’d never wanted anything so bad and it had taken every ounce of will power he had to keep from taking her.
She was lazily running her fingers through the hairs curling on his forehead when she next spoke. “Help me understand.”
He let out a long breath. “Ah, Keely, you’re killing me.”
He didn’t want to have this conversation with her. Then he figured it was probably much the same for her today at the dolphins and she’d given it her best try to make him understand. How could he give her any less?
“I want you, Keely. And not taking you earlier tonight was the toughest thing I’ve ever faced.” He made a frustrated sound at the back of his throat. “It’s difficult to explain.”
He moved the pillow beneath his head a little so he could see her better. The moonlight washed across her face making her radiant. He kissed her lips softly.
“For me, sex is…I feel like it takes a piece of me when I have sex with a woman. Like I’ve given a piece of my soul away and when she leaves, she takes that piece with her. Deep down, I know I only have one piece left to give. I want it to be forever the next time Keely. I’m only willing to trust that part of myself to someone who’ll make a
lifetime commitment with me. A commitment to stick it out no matter what. Through thick and thin.” His eyes sparkled as he chuckled. “For better or worse, richer or poorer.”
He laughed for a minute at his own silly joke, then turned serious again.
“I believe in marriages that last a lifetime. I believe in making a partnership with a woman that takes us through all of life’s crap together. I believe in working things out rather than running away and I believe even if a man and woman hate each other for a time, love with that kind of commitment can be reborn.”
He gently touched her cheek bone, her lips.
“I’d make that kind of commitment to you, Keely. I would. I’d be a good husband, you wouldn’t be sorry. I’d take care of your mom, if that’s what you wanted. Clarissa and Peter too.”
He hated how choked up he was becoming. He could feel tears stinging his eyes, but in for a sheep as well as a lamb, as his mother always said.
“I love you, Keely, and I want to spend the rest of our lives together. I’d make you happy, I swear it. I’d treat you right and make sure you never regretted it.” He closed his eyes afraid of what he’d see if he looked too closely into hers. “Please, Keely?”
He felt a splash of wetness on his shoulder, then another. She was crying, but was that crying good or crying bad? Because she hadn’t said a word yet. He felt so stupid. Not because of what he felt, but because he couldn’t keep his big mouth shut. They barely knew one another, she must think he was nuts. He started formulating ways to get out of the mess he’d gotten himself into when he felt her leave his arms, then the bed.
He watched her go into the bathroom and heard the shower turn on. It wasn’t until an hour later when he went after her figuring she had to be out of hot water by now. As he approached the bathroom door, he tried to figure out what he planned to do. He certainly couldn’t break down the door, and he didn’t think she was going to let him in. He was an idiot, but berating himself now wasn’t going to do anything to help the situation.
Anything She Wants Page 14
