A Man of Honor

by Cynthia Thomason

Brooke stared at the name on the tablet. Edward Smith. It was written above an address in the Florida Keys. Her first instinct was to ask what it meant, but then the significance of the name hit her. Edward. He’d found Edward!

  Her hand shook so badly she almost dropped the tablet. For a moment she couldn’t speak because she couldn’t breathe. But after a few seconds she looked at Jeremy, and said, “This is my Edward, Jeremy?”

  “I think so,” he said. “All the clues fit. He lives at a marina on Sweet Pine Key in Florida.”

  “But how?”

  He came around his desk, took her elbow and led her to a chair. “Sit down, Brooke. I know this must come as a shock, but remember, I told you I knew some people who might be able to help with the search.”

  “Yes, but...” She did remember, just like she’d remembered everything she’d heard in the last few months about the whereabouts of her mysterious brother. “But I didn’t think...”

  “I know.” He nodded his head. “At first this seemed like finding a needle in a haystack. The last thing I wanted to do was disappoint you, but consulting with the right person makes a difference.”

  “Who did you talk to? Why do you think this is truly Edward?”

  He sat on the edge of his desk, just a few feet from her. “There’s a guy who used to play for the Wildcats. He’s older than I am and retired a couple of years ago. But while he played, he started a charity to help out troubled kids, adults, whoever needed guidance.

  “His charity became well known in the Carolinas. He was respected by almost everyone who wanted to see these kids turn over a new leaf. He’d get names from cops, social workers who didn’t have the resources to follow through on all their cases. Sometimes he even got names and backgrounds from judges.”

  “And out of all these needy people he remembered crossing paths with Edward?” she asked.

  “No. I wish he had. That would eliminate all doubt. But Terry is pretty sure he’s found your brother even though he never actually met him. There was a kid’s story that crossed Terry’s desk over fifteen years ago. Terry was going to pursue the lead and see if he could help this teenage boy out.”

  “And what happened?”

  “The kid was taken in by the very judge who sentenced him, a guy everyone trusted. The judge, whose name is Smith, became quite fond of Edward, who was disguising himself as Jerry Miller. He made the boy serve some time in juvenile detention but kept visiting him. When the boy got out, the judge adopted him.”

  “That judge’s name...” Brooke said. “It’s the same name Gabe gave me. I wonder why Gabe couldn’t connect the dots.”

  “Not so surprising. The judge retired more than fifteen years after adopting Edward. He moved from South Carolina and bought a marina in the Keys. He never kept in contact with his old life. Instead built a new life around this marina, his solitude and Edward, now a grown man. Terry did some digging. They are still together, Judge Smith and his adopted son, Edward.”

  Brooke’s heart pounded. She drew a line with her finger under the address on the tablet. “Do you mean I could go to this marina and find my brother?”

  “If that’s what you want to do, it’s a start.”

  “If it’s what I want to do? Absolutely, it’s what I want to do, Jeremy. It’s all I’ve thought of for months.” At least until you came into my life.

  “Just remember,” Jeremy said. “You don’t know how Edward will react. It’s likely he doesn’t even know you exist.”

  “I have to try.”

  “I know that. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

  More hurt than I am right now? she thought. This news was a beacon of hope when so much seemed about to be taken from her life.

  “I don’t know how to thank you, Jeremy.” She hugged the tablet to her chest. “This is a miracle and you made it happen.” Before she allowed logical thought to cloud her instinct, she went and wrapped her arms around his neck and held him as tightly as she could. He felt so warm, so strong, so good. She didn’t want to let go. When he cradled the back of her head in his hand, she wanted to cry.

  “How are you going to go about this, Brooke?” he asked against her hair.

  “I’ll ask Cammie to go with me,” she said. “We’ll contact Edward together.”

  “Okay. That’s a good plan. I don’t know if it would be wise to go alone. The end of this story is so uncertain.”

  She looked up at him and nodded. “I know.” His gaze was soft upon her face and crumpled the last of her resistance. She started to sob. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. Then his lips moved to her eyes, her cheeks. Everywhere his mouth touched her felt like a spark of longing.

  She placed her hands on each side of his face, relishing the scratchy ruggedness of his day-old beard. He was as real to her as any person had ever been and yet so special that she almost couldn’t believe her luck in having met him.

  He drew her closer to his chest. His breath was warm on her moist face. “Brooke, do we know what we’re doing?”

  And then his mouth was on hers, hungry, insistent, as if he could banish the memory of the last days without her by obliterating everything but the kiss.

  She closed her eyes and let touch guide her impulses. The feel of his skin under her palms, the press of his chest against her breasts. “Jeremy, I have to tell you. I...”

  “Brooke, I heard from a major Manhattan news station today.”

  She halted. What was he saying? What did this station have to do with a declaration of love she had to utter? Her eyes blinked open. She waited.

  “I applied with the head of their sports division on Monday afternoon. I’ve known him for a few years. He used to cover Wildcats games. Seemed like a good possibility for me. The guy called back today. The job of color commentator for their professional football games is mine if I want it. I’ll be the on-screen broadcaster who tells the intimate details of the players that they want the public to know—their backgrounds, struggles they’ve known, the good they do in their communities, heck, even the kind of ice cream they like.”

  She tried to catch her breath. “But you’re talking about Manhattan.”

  “That’s right. I’ll have to sell my house, relocate. Otherwise I’d be leaving the kids with Marta for too many days each week.”

  “Relocate?” She knew she was adding very little of substance to what he was telling her, but logical thoughts wouldn’t form in her brain. Everything he was saying was like a knife to her heart.

  “I’ll be good at this job, Brooke. I’ve always had a way with players, listening to them, helping to heal their wounds, letting them lean on me. It’s a role I’ve always enjoyed, and now I get to find out about these guys on a personal level and get paid for it. I should have done this from the beginning, but I had such unrealistic dreams for myself.”

  Dreams that I encouraged to keep my job and earn a big bonus. Besides being devastated at Jeremy’s news, Brooke was deeply ashamed.

  “But Jeremy,” she whispered. “Where does that leave us?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know. If you had asked me this question on Monday, I would have said there is no us, but being without you for these last days, seeing you tonight, I have the strongest desire to try again, forget the past. But, Brooke, I don’t see how I can.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I have to do something with my life. I’ve seen too many ex-players live on their laurels and a pile of money that they thought would never run out. So many of them have been wrong. They’ve become irresponsible, too self-centered, feeling they’re entitled to watch from the sidelines the rest of their lives. I can’t be like them. I’ve got two children who look to me for guidance. What kind of a mentor would I be to my own kids if all I taught them was that a lucky break and some brawny talent was all they needed?”

  “You could never be that kind of a fat
her, that kind of a man,” Brooke said. “I understand your need to start again, but why can’t you do it from here, in a place you’ve come to love?”

  “I do like it here, Brooke, but I haven’t been here long enough to build many strong attachments. Frankly, I don’t know where I’d start over in this area. My gut instinct tells me to go away.”

  But what about us? You’re the only man I’ve ever loved. This wasn’t about her. It was about Jeremy and how he needed to find a life that he could feel good about for himself and his family, how he needed to recover from thoughts of her and how she’d hurt him. So all she said was “I will miss you.” She could have added a thousand words to that simple statement of fact.

  He wrapped her in another strong embrace. “And I will miss you. But I know you, Brooke. You will resume the amazing work you do at WJQC. You will continue to become an even more successful producer. Someday I will see your name on one of the biggest and most respected cable news channels that others like you have only dreamed about. You were made for this job. You thrive on the tension, the competition, the split-second decisions.” He kissed the top of her head. “I am so proud to know you, Brooke. Admittedly, I disagree with some of the choices you make to get what you want, but I admire your dedication to get it.”

  How could she argue with him? For more than a decade this job had been her life.

  “Daddy! Where are you? We finished our pizza.”

  Brooke stepped away from Jeremy’s arms when she heard Alicia call him. That step would probably turn out to be the longest and most difficult one she would ever take in her life. “I should go,” she said.

  She slipped her hand in her pocket to feel the paper with the name and address she’d copied down. Her brother’s name. Tonight she’d accomplished what her heart had yearned for for so many long months. Only it was Jeremy who had accomplished it for her. The moment when her heart should have been soaring with hope and gratitude, it was breaking, cell by cell, and there was nothing she could do about it.

  Alicia and Cody came into the office. “That was great pizza, Brooke,” Cody said.

  She went down on one knee to look into his bright blue eyes. “I’m glad you liked it. Can I give you a hug?”

  “Sure.” He stepped into her arms.

  “I think your squeezes are about the best I’ve ever had,” she said.

  Next she hugged Alicia. “Call me if you ever want to talk, sweetie.”

  Alicia’s eyes clouded. “Why are you talking this way? Aren’t you coming back?”

  Brooke glanced at Jeremy before giving Alicia her full attention. “Sometimes even we adults don’t know how things are going to turn out. Sometimes we just don’t know.” She smoothed her hand down Alicia’s silky hair. “I have to say goodbye. For now.”

  “I’m going to walk Brooke to the door,” Jeremy said. “I’ll be with you kids in a minute. Go upstairs and get ready for your baths.”

  As she drove away from Jeremy’s home, Brooke thought about him and his children, their lives returning to normal while hers would never be the same again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “ARE YOU SURE it’s him?” Camryn sounded skeptical, but Brooke understood her reluctance to believe that Edward had been found.

  “As sure as I can be. I know it’s hard to picture that he actually exists. I never would have found him if I hadn’t confided in Jeremy.”

  “I’ll admit that the story Jeremy gave you is convincing. You must have been so excited.”

  “Yes, I was.” Unfortunately, my excitement was overshadowed by the horrible sense of loss I was experiencing. Brooke couldn’t dwell on the emptiness in her life right now. Jeremy was making a decision that was right for him, and it didn’t include her. Maybe someday... But at this point he’d given her a gift, a miracle actually, that she had been dreaming of for a long time. She loved her adopted mother and father and her heart ached that she couldn’t tell them about Edward. Maybe sometime in the future when they wouldn’t be so hurt that she’d tried to locate her mother.

  “So when are you planning to go to the Keys?” Camryn asked her.

  “I’ve got to clear some time with Milt, but that shouldn’t be a problem. He’ll be taking a much more active role in producing the news when he hires an anchor, so I’m sure he’ll give me leave for a few days.” Brooke took a deep breath. “I’m so scared, Camryn. What if Edward doesn’t want to know us? What if he is nothing like I’ve allowed myself to imagine? What if he isn’t even nice?”

  “I know you, Brooke. Scared or not you’re going to follow through with this. Any of those things might be true, but you can’t give up now. You wouldn’t be Brooke Montgomery if you did.”

  Cammie was right. No matter what the cost, Brooke would see this through to the end. “You’ll go with me, won’t you?” Brooke said. “I don’t think I can do this without you, Cammie. We need to be together, like we always have been. Say you’re coming with me.”

  Camryn paused a moment. “When are you going?”

  “I have some loose ends to tie up, but I was thinking next weekend. Nine days. I’m going to fly to Miami and rent a car. It’s not so far to Sweet Pine Key from there.”

  Camryn’s voice fell to an agonized whisper. “Oh, honey... I can’t go that soon. I’m still breastfeeding Grace. Reed can do a lot of the chores around here, but I’m afraid he can’t take over that one.”

  “We’ll take Gracie with us,” Brooke said, knowing it was an impractical solution. Flying with an infant, stopping every couple of hours to feed her, introducing Grace to a different climate in a situation that might prove extremely tense. This was not Camryn’s idea of responsible motherhood.

  “That’s not a good idea,” Camryn said. “Perhaps if you put the trip off a couple of months. You’ve waited this long...”

  “No. No way. I’m going. I need to go, Camryn. Things haven’t been so great in my life the last few days. I need to know that my search for Edward is finally over.”

  “What about a friend?” Camryn suggested. “Maybe one of your friends can get some time off work.” She made a clicking sound with her tongue as if she was thinking. “I know! What about Jeremy? I realize you said you two had a falling-out, but if he gave you Edward’s information, he knows how important this is to you. Maybe inviting him to go will make your situation better.”

  “No, I can’t ask Jeremy,” Brooke said. “He’s been wonderful but he’s leaving the station. He’s leaving the Charleston area and taking another job.”

  “When did this happen?”

  “I just found out today.” Feeling her throat tighten with another sob, Brooke fought back tears.

  “Is this what you meant by your life not being so great lately? I’m so sorry, Brooke. I really thought he could be the one.”

  On a trembling rush of air, Brooke said, “So did I.” She reached for a tissue and blew her nose. “It’s okay, Cammie. I understand why you can’t go. I’ll figure something out. I’ve got nine days.”

  “Please find someone to go with you, Brooke,” Camryn said. “I know you have an impression of Edward in your mind, but we have no idea if he’s the man you want him to be. You need someone with you.”

  “I’ll find someone. In the meantime, I’ll be in touch. Kiss the girls for me.”

  “I love you, Brooke,” Camryn said.

  “I love you, too. And at least loving you doesn’t hurt.”

  “Oh, sweetie...”

  She could barely get the last words out. “I’ve got to go, Cammie.” She couldn’t bear to say their usual goodbye.

  Brooke disconnected. She turned on her television and immediately turned it off. Watching fictional problems and love affairs wouldn’t comfort her tonight. One fact was certain. The next nine days were going to seem like months, but alone or not, she was going to Florida.

  * * *

 
“DADDY, WHAT’S THE matter with you?” Alicia stood outside her father’s office and scowled at him.

  “Nothing, Ally. Everything is fine.”

  “But you hardly ever play with us anymore.”

  He wanted to argue that point, but Ally’s comment made him realize that he had been self-absorbed the last few days. “I’m sorry, Ally. I’ve had a lot on my mind, but that’s no excuse. I’ll be out to play with you in a minute.”

  “Cody wants to play Sorry! It’s his favorite game and yours, too.”

  Jeremy smiled, something he hadn’t done much in the last few days. The idea that a game for six-to-ten-year-olds was his favorite could even bring a grin to his stuck-in-Neutral face. “It’s a great game,” he said. “I was just catching up on some paperwork.”

  “And then you’ll play with us? It’s Saturday and we don’t have to go to bed early.” Alicia cocked her head to one side. “Do you even remember it’s Saturday?” she asked.

  “Oh, I do. Who took you guys out for burgers and fries earlier?” He didn’t want to be cross with his daughter primarily because she was right. Usually he enjoyed coming up with inventive ways to keep his kids happy and occupied. Lately he just wanted to do his thinking, his regretting, his feeling sorry for himself in the privacy of his office. But that wasn’t fair, and he knew it.

  He opened his desk drawer and put some blank papers inside to create the image that he’d actually been working. “Let’s play that game right now,” he said. “Get ready for the tromping of your life, Ally.”

  She danced ahead of him toward the kitchen, where Marta and Cody were taking cookies from the oven.

  “Take the rest of the night off,” Jeremy said to his housekeeper. “We’re going to have a Sorry! marathon.”

  “And somebody has to eat these cookies,” Marta said. “I’m going to my room to watch the Hallmark Channel.”

  “Call Brooke, Daddy,” Alicia said. “I’ll bet she’d like the game, too.”

  “Yeah, call Brooke,” Cody said.

  “I’m pretty sure Brooke is busy tonight, guys.”