Wrecking Beauty

by Celia Loren

  Cutler only sipped his beer in response. Addison looked around the room. The bar split the kitchen from the living room, which was small but tidy.

  “So, you live here? It’s nice.”

  “No, I live at the clubhouse. This is just a place I keep to work.”

  “Oh, I thought… I thought the gang was work, sort of. I mean don’t gangs make money by, you know…”

  “Running drugs? Charging protection?”

  “Well… yes.”

  “The Devil's Reapers aren’t One Percenters.”

  Addison waited for him to explain. He didn’t.

  “One Percenters…somehow I don’t think you mean the top one percent of the wealthiest people in the world.”

  Cutler sipped his beer.

  “Look, I don’t know why you stuck up for me at the clubhouse when you obviously want nothing to do with me, but trust me, I’m not having a barrel of laughs here either. I know what happened is my fault. I’m just trying to be here, right now. Because if I think about what has happened in the last twenty-four hours, I will quite literally lose my mind.”

  Cutler looked up at her and smiled slightly. “One Percenters are the outlaw biker gangs. Ninety-nine percent of people are law-abiding citizens, but that last one percent lives by their own rules. I don’t make money from the Reapers. None of us do. Actually we pay dues for the clubhouse, to stock the fridge, buy a pool table, stuff like that. I work construction for money. Not all of us can go to business school.”

  Addison narrowed her eyes at him, but realized he was actually joking with her. She smiled, relieved, then fought back a yawn.

  “Sorry, I haven’t slept in a while.”

  “You can pass out on the couch.” Cutler said, walking into the living room.

  “I don’t know if I’ll actually be able to sleep. My thoughts are so loud right now.”

  “I’ll put the TV on. Drown them out.” He tossed her a blanket lying on a chair next to the couch. “Make yourself comfortable.”

  Addison smiled, surprised. Was this bad-ass biker mothering her? She walked over to the couch and sat down, pulling the blanket over her legs. Cutler sat on the opposite side of the couch. Addison shifted a bit in her seat.

  “Do you mind if I take my shoes off?” she asked. Cutler looked at her, deadpan.

  “I do not mind if you take your shoes off.”

  “Sorry, it’s just… I don’t know you at all, but so much has happened.”

  “I know.” Cutler flipped the TV on. “Antiques Roadshow OK?”

  “Yeah,” Addison said, surprised. Beyond the pastoral quiet of the show, she loved hearing all the accents. Reminded her of home. Before she knew it, her eyes started to close, and she drifted off to sleep.

  With a start, she woke up. She looked around. Cutler wasn’t on the couch anymore, and it was dark outside. The only light came from the glow of the TV, which was now on some nature show. Alarmed, she stood up and looked into the kitchen. She noticed a shaft of light coming from a door on the other side of the kitchen, next to the fridge. Her senses on high alert, she tiptoed across the linoleum tiles and over to the door. She couldn’t hear anything, so she slowly turned the handle and pushed the door open a crack.

  Cutler was bent over a piece of metal with a blowtorch. Pushing the door open farther, she stuck her head into the room. Cutler looked up at her and shut off the blowtorch.

  “Hey,” he said. “You were asleep, so I figured I’d do some work.”

  “So this is your real work,” she said.

  “Not work, really, it’s just a hobby of mine.”

  “Is it OK if I come in?”

  “Oh, yeah, I just don’t have a lot of visitors in here. These are all unfinished,” he said, gesturing around to the metal pieces around the room. Addison looked around. One area of the room against the far wall was piled with metal odds and ends. It almost looked like a small scrap metal heap. She wandered over to it and looking closer she realized it was somewhat organized. She could see that it was at least separated into glass on the left, and metal on the right, and a section for cables, though she thought there were some subcategories of smaller parts that she couldn’t name.

  She walked over to a small metal and glass end table, and ran her fingers over the smooth metal piping along the top. She turned over her shoulder, and realized Cutler was watching her. He looked uncomfortable.

  “Did you make this? It’s beautiful.”

  “Yes. And thank you.”

  She leaned closer, examining the table. Underneath the glass, metal circles created a beautiful, hypnotic pattern.

  “Countersunk nuts,” Cutler said.

  “Excuse me?”

  “That’s what those little metal bits are called. I find them all over the scrap yard.”

  “You found all of this?”

  “Yeah, I pick up parts of old bikes from the scrap yard and bring it back here. The glass I take from the abandoned warehouses around here. Most of the windows are broken anyway.” He walked over to her, picked up a wire from the ground and plugged it into a wall outlet. A ball of metal near them lit up like a huge pinecone. “This one’s a sort of light fixture, it’s made from headlights and side mirrors.”

  “Gorgeous.” Addison murmured. Cutler tried to hide a smile. “Under any other circumstance I’d tried to buy a piece off you.”

  “I don’t actually sell them. I’ve never even shown them to anyone.”

  “This fixture would look great in our living room,” Addison said without thinking. Cutler looked at her sadly. She didn’t realize her mistake until she looked up at him and saw his expression. “Oh my God… I’m sorry, I guess it really hasn’t sunk in yet.”

  “What was his name?”

  “Owen. Owen Devlin.”

  “Devlin. Right.”

  “I didn’t know about all that, really. And he is, was, very charming. I know it sounds silly, but it’s true. I guess I’ve never been very good at picking men. Even before Owen. Sorry…”

  “You apologize a lot.”

  “Do I? Bad habit, I suppose. Why don’t you sell these?”

  “I don’t do it for other people. I do it for myself.”

  Addison smiled. “That’s what Salem always said. When we were teenagers. During the summer, she’d stay with us, and she started making these amazing necklaces and bracelets from these beads she bought at the country fair. She just started giving them away to people who admired them. I told her she had to sell them! And she said the same thing you did. It’s not that I wanted her to become some corporate jewelry maker or something, but doing good business can help you realize your own value. She had more value than she was giving herself credit for.” A tear slipped out of her right eye, and she quickly wiped it away. Cutler quietly studied her face.

  “I said Kyle got me into the Reapers, but it was more than that… he saved my life really. I used to be a One Percenter, pretty much the stereotype you would think of a violent criminal biker.” He paused, as he studied the scars on his hands. “The Reapers are all former One Percenters, even Kyle. He got out of our old club first, and then he came back for me. Gettin out isn’t easy. Once they’ve got you, they don’t want to let go. But we did it. That was a couple years ago. I’m still trying to put that life behind me.”

  Addison watched him intently while he spoke. It was like he was the inside-out version of Owen. Owen had an air of goodness outside but was rotten on the inside. Cutler looked like a bad-ass on the outside, but she was learning that he was someone else inside.

  Without thinking, she walked over to him and took his hand, which dwarfed her own. She held his palm and gently ran her fingers over his knuckles. They were so broken that she could feel the pieces of them splintered under his skin, and they were covered in knots of scar tissue. She turned his hand over, and saw his palm had callouses on it just underneath his fingers. She touched her finger to one of the callouses, and was surprised by how hard it was.

  Bending over slig
htly, she brought his hand to her lips and gently kissed it. She heard him breathe in sharply, and felt him softly place his other hand on her hip. When his fingers brushed her jeans, she remembered that she was still wearing the same outfit she’d left her apartment in the night before. Everything that had happened came flooding back to her, and she dropped his hand and stepped back, suddenly overwhelmed.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing,” she said. Cutler looked at her as though he wasn’t sure whether or not to go to her. He brought his hand up a little as if to reach for her, then brought it up to his hair.

  “I should probably get in the shower. You can have the bedroom as soon as I’m out. I’ll take the couch tonight.” He grabbed a rag from the work bench and rubbed his hands with it as he walked out into the kitchen. He tossed it into the sink as he walked through and crossed the living room into the bedroom on the other side. Closing the door behind him, he stripped off his clothes as he walked into the bathroom.

  He turned on the shower, then flipped down the toilet seat and sat as he waited for the water to heat up. He rubbed his face in frustration. Addison was different than any girl he'd ever known. She was smart, and beautiful, and complicated. Most girls he’d slept with were skanks and mamas that hung around biker clubhouses, drawn to power and bad boys, concerned mostly with climbing their own little ladder of security that they had going. He’d tried to date in the past couple of years, and Kyle and Salem had encouraged him. There was Lisa, but he’d always felt like he was forcing a relationship with her that wasn’t there. Addison had to be tough considering what she’d been through, but she also seemed so naïve; the recent violence had come as such a shock to her, as though she was surprised that it existed at all in the world.

  He felt the shower begin to steam, and pulled back the curtain and stepped in. He let the water wash off the layer of dust he’d been carrying around. Grabbing a bar of soap, he slowly cleaned himself off. He couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her arms around him on the bike had felt so right.

  In the studio, Addison sat down on Cutler’s work bench. What was she doing, making moves on some biker she didn’t really know anything about? But there was something about him she already felt connected to, like they’d known each other when they were kids and were meeting again. Just a couple nights ago she’d been sleeping next to Owen, thinking he was the one she’d be spending the rest of her life with, his kids she’d be raising. She realized that all that was gone now, and instead of feeling sad, she felt relieved. The whole future was open to her. She wasn’t beholden to Owen, or her parents. She could be whoever she wanted to be. And she could be with whoever she wanted to be with.

  She walked quickly through the kitchen and living room. She paused before his closed bedroom door. This wasn’t like her at all…but maybe that was a good thing. She opened the door and peered around the room. He wasn’t there, and she heard the shower running through the partially opened bathroom door. Walking quietly into the room, she pulled off her pants and shirt, then her underwear and bra, and tossed them onto the floor next to Cutler’s. Tiptoeing up the bathroom door, she slowly pushed it open and stepped inside.

  The mirror was already steamed up, and she could hear Cutler making quiet splashes of water in the shower. He hadn’t heard her come in. She took a deep breath. She hoped he wouldn’t turn her away. God, it had been years since she had been with anyone besides Owen. She quickly smoothed her hair, hoping she didn’t look too much the worse for wear. Well, it was now or never.

  Walking over to the end of the shower further from the showerhead, she pulled back the edge of the curtain. Cutler had his back to her, and she drank in his beautiful back. It was covered in huge Devil’s Reaper tattoo that spanned across his broad shoulders, and down the curve of his spine. The water poured down his dark hair into a rivulet that dripped down his ass. Addison bit her lip. She was already tingling with excitement.

  She stepped into the shower, and she saw Cutler finally hear her. From behind, she watched his face turn upwards, and his hands drop down and flex. He slowly turned toward her. She could barely keep herself from gasping, he looked so gorgeous naked. His wide chest had just the right amount of hair, and she smiled to herself thinking of Owen’s elaborate waxing routine. The water ran down his hard abs, and she stared brazenly at his dick. Cutler smiled as he felt her gaze on it, and she parted her lips as she watched him grow hard.

  He stepped toward her, and all she could do was silently look up at him. He brought his hand up to her face and ran his finger down along her hairline, then tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. Addison closed her eyes. His touch felt so good. He leaned over her and kissed the line he had just traced with his finger. Bringing his mouth over to her, he gently kissed her, then nuzzling her lips open with his own he gently pressed his tongue into her mouth. Addison couldn’t keep herself from moaning at the warm wetness of his touch. She threw her arms around his neck and pressed her body into his. Cutler reciprocated, grasping her strongly behind her back. She felt his arm muscles bulge as he gripped her body. The front of her body was on fire where they touched, and she felt his hand make its way to her ass and slide over it.

  Suddenly he picked her up. She felt tiny in his arms, her toes dangling off the ground. He turned and gently let her down underneath the showerhead. The hot water poured over Addison’s head, and she smiled up at him. He stepped toward her again, but didn’t allow their bodies to touch. He leaned into her right ear, and softly brushed his lips against it, then moved down to suck on her earlobe. He then circled her lobe with his tongue, and Addison gasped with pleasure.

  “That’s a preview,” he whispered throatily, and Addison felt a shiver of anticipation run through her body. She quickly turned her head and nuzzled into his ear, biting his earlobe and running her tongue around it. He groaned and grabbed onto her hips for support. He pulled her to him again, now kissing her more aggressively.

  Addison ran her hand along his thigh and toward his dick, dying to feel it in her hand, but Cutler began making his way down her neck, and then to her breasts. He circled her nipple with his tongue and then took her into his mouth. Addison gasped from the pull of pleasure she felt as he sucked on her tit. He kneeled down, and made his way down her stomach, flicking her belly button with his tongue. His hands gripped her ass, and she felt him pull her toward him. Even with the water running, Addison could already feel how wet she was. He kissed down her crotch, then pressed his nose into the crease of her hipbone. Pulling away slightly, he blew air onto her clit, and Addison pressed her right arm against the wall for support. He brought his hands in front of her now and rubbed her thighs. With a firm grip on her right leg, he brought it up so her foot was resting on the edge of the bathtub.

  Addison felt completely exposed and open to him. He had barely begun to touch her, and she already felt so close. Leaning back into her, Cutler separated her lips and licked her with a long stroke that ended with her clit. Addison cried out. He licked her again, then circled and flicked her clit with his tongue.

  “Oh, Cutler,” Addison moaned. With his right hand, Cutler gently put two fingers inside her, and moved them as though he were beckoning her towards him, while never stopping moving his tongue. Addison felt the wave of an orgasm begin to break over her, but Cutler suddenly stopped and stood up.

  “I want you to come while I’m inside you,” he growled. Addison smiled up at him, then sank to her knees herself. She took his huge dick in her hand and pulled it up slightly so she could take his balls in her mouth. He moaned and tilted his head back as she sucked and pulled on them. Releasing them, she flicked her tongue back and forth along the base of his penis, and then licked up the shaft in one long stroke. She looked up at him, and saw that he was gritting his teeth in an effort not to come. Taking him in her mouth, she moved up and down, then swirled her tongue around his tip. He cried out as she sucked on the end of his dick, and pulled her up to standing.

  He picked her up and slid her d
own, onto his cock. Addison felt a slight pain as she stretched to accept him. Wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs just above his ass, she only had him to cling on to for support. Cutler was beyond strong, and easily moved her entire body up and down the length of his dick. She leaned back, and he buried his face in her breasts, sucking on her tits.

  “Oh, Addison,” he cried out, and Addison began moaning. Grabbing the shower rod with one hand and leaning on the shower wall with the other, Cutler tried to support himself as his knees buckled with pleasure. “Oh, fuck…” Addison let herself go, crying out as they came at the same time.

  After a few finishing strokes, Cutler wrapped his hands tightly around Addison’s small waist and pulled her toward him, and she cradled his head in her neck. He gently released her and lowered her to standing. Wordlessly, he took the bar of soap and began lathering it up, then glided his hands over her collarbone and down her arms, spreading the soap across her. Addison closed her eyes, feeling his hands caress her entire body. Then he lathered himself up, and she hugged him around the chest, letting the water wash off the suds together.

  He bent down and kissed her again, then shut off the water. Addison crossed her arms over herself against the sudden cool air as Cutler stepped out of the shower. Wrapping a towel around himself, he grabbed another from under the sink and wrapped it around Addison. They dried off in a comfortable silence, then hung up their towels.

  He walked into the bedroom with Addison following behind. It was dark, and Cutler got into bed and moved over the far side. Pulling the covers over himself, he pulled them down nearer to Addison, and she slipped under them. Cozying into the nook of his arm, she rested her head on his chest. She smelled the fresh scent of his soap and felt her damp hair lying against his skin. She trailed her hand over his chest, quietly studying the myriad smaller tattoos across it, none as large as the Reapers tattoo on his back.

  Looking up at him, she ran her fingers across the scar next to his eye. He looked down at her, then took her hand in his own, and interlacing his fingers with hers, pulled it to his chest.