AGoblin'sTale

by Scott

  The man stopped suddenly as someone spoke up.

  “You, what do you think you’re doing? No matter how fucking stupid you are, you must know who that goblin belongs to,” Saeter said as he stepped out of the bushes and dropped the sled’s rope. His voice’s freezing cold tone seethed with anger and startled Blacknail’s assailant. Saeter’s eyes were narrowed with barely contained rage.

  The other man backed away a bit and paled. “I ah… was just foolin round. No harm done now.”

  “You must know what happens to people who touch what’s mine,” the old scout growled.

  “Er, no, I’m a new man. I just joined up, see?” the other man explained fearfully as he continued to back away.

  “Then let me tell you. They go out into the forest and never come out. The deep green is always looking to claim a few more souls. No one questions it, and no one cares about human refuse like you. Look around, where are you right now?” Saeter explained coldly as he stared the other man down.

  Blacknail’s attacker paled until he was ghost white. He seemed to try to speak, but he choked and the words wouldn’t come out. Then with a whimper, he turned and fled toward the camp. There were only a few feet of bush in his way, but he didn’t make it.

  With a practiced motion, Saeter drew his bow and shot the other man in the back. With nothing but a gurgle and a few quick twitches, the man collapsed onto the exposed roots of a tree and lay still.

  Blacknail found the strength to slowly get to his feet. He pushed himself up and hesitantly felt his head. His probing fingers found a small bleeding gash, but he seemed otherwise fine. Goblins had thick skulls. They got hit in the head all the time.

  “Good, you seem all right. Take a seat while I dispose of this trash,” Saeter told him with a motion toward the corpse of the man he had just killed.

  Blacknail stared at Saeter uncomprehendingly for a second before collapsing into a sitting position. As the goblin watched, Saeter dragged the corpse off into the trees. By the time his master got back, Blacknail felt a bit better. His headache had faded, and the bleeding had stopped.

  As they broke out of the border of the forest and into the sun, they were met by a multitude of stares. That was, of course, because Blacknail was dragging a sled with a deer larger than himself on it. When they had reached the very edge of the forest, Saeter had given him the sled back for some reason.

  Some of the people seemed impressed by the goblin’s strength. Most of them just looked hungry. They looked at the deer carcass with obvious anticipation and barely noticed the goblin pulling it. Only a very few gave him hostile looks.

  Blacknail was in no mood for cowering; it hadn’t done him any good earlier. He returned the dirty looks he got. He stuck out his tongue or gave them the evil eye. Stupid humans, what did they have against him? He was a strong and cunning goblin!

  He hated that they would probably get to eat the deer he’d helped catch. He wasn't even sure if he would be getting any, even after he had dragged it through the dangerous woods and almost been eaten by spiders. Scary, dreadful spiders with long poisonous fangs that dropped down on you from places you couldn't see! Blacknail shivered at the memory, then sighed.

  He had the lowest position in the entire tribe. As the newcomer, it was only natural he got the least and worst food. That was just the way tribes worked. How though was he supposed to work his way up to a higher position when everyone else was human, and thus huge? He didn’t want to be the weakest in the tribe and be picked on anymore.

  He knew hurting humans was a bad idea, but fights were how goblins usually rose in rank. Maybe he could use some sort of large snare tied to an even larger tree, or maybe he could dig a big hole and…

  Wait, if no one knew he was the one who made the trap, then he wouldn't get in trouble but he wouldn't rise higher in the tribe either. Blacknail sighed and kept walking. He wished he was back home in the sewers. Things were so much simpler there.

  By the time they returned to camp, the sun was setting behind the trees. Its red light shone out from gaps in the foliage and dyed the clouds crimson. The camp was now full of dozens of bandits. They lounged in various-sized groups and around newly lit campfires.

  At the edge of the clearing, all the horses from the caravan were tied up. Blacknail gave them a dirty look when he saw them. The smelly things should have just been killed.

  “Stupid horses,” he muttered.

  One of the horses returned his gaze and gave an aggressive snort. Blacknail stuck his tongue out at it. The stupid thing was tied up and couldn't do anything to him. At least his position in this tribe was higher than the horses’. It hadn't been in the caravan.

  After they had walked away from the edge of the clearing, Saeter turned to Blacknail. “Leave the deer carcass here.” He sighed in fatigue and stretched.

  Blacknail had dropped the sled almost before his master finished speaking. He immediately plopped down onto the ground and massaged his aching feet. Ouch, they hurt. He had surprised even himself by dragging that deer. Back in his old life, he had never had many chances to test out his strength, but obviously he was an even stronger and smarter goblin than he had thought! Truly, his master was lucky to have him as a servant.

  “Must really be getting old. I never used to get this tired after being out in the bush for a few hours,” Saeter mused to himself. He sighed and did a few more stretches.

  Blacknail gave him an unamused look out of the corner of his eye. He was the one who had done the hard work! He couldn’t complain though, as Saeter had saved his life several times today. Of course, he was also the person who had put him into danger in the first place.

  “You're finally back, Saeter. About time,” a familiar harsh voice said.

  It was the dangerous-looking chieftain named Herad. She detached herself from a group of her rough-looking minions and strolled over to them. She gave their catch an appraising glance but didn't seem impressed at all.

  “A deer, eh? It looks a bit skinny, but I suppose it’ll have to do. I'll have some of the lazy bastards behind me skin it up since you went and fetched it for me. You and your pet seem a little roughed up. I wouldn’t want to overwork an old man,” she remarked with her usual crooked smile.

  “Then I’m no longer needed here,” Saeter replied with a nod.

  “I guess not,” she agreed before calling several other bandits over to take the deer.

  Saeter walked over to his camp, and after a quick nervous glance at Herad, the goblin followed him.

  “Oh and, Saeter, I'm glad you're getting some use out of that goblin. You know the rules. Everyone pulls their own weight or they’re gone,” Herad said coldly to their backs.

  Blacknail shivered from a chill that hadn't been caused by the cooling afternoon air. He was fairly certain he knew what gone meant, and it wasn't to be let loose in the forest. Praise his master for giving him so much hard work and making him useful. To think that he had thought his master was mean and unfair because he was working him too hard!

  Once they reached Saeter's campsite, his master took a few minutes to unpack and put his stuff away. Blacknail watched for a while but then curled up and lay down to rest.

  After only a few minutes, he was nudged awake by a familiar light kick, and he opened his eyes to see his master standing over him. Maybe his master would give him some food now, he thought as he yawned.

  Instead, Saeter had a cup of hot water and a rag in his hand. He motioned for Blacknail to stand, then he cleaned the goblin’s head wound. He finished up by tying the long rag around Blacknail’s forehead and telling him to leave it there.

  “Stay here and practice,” Saeter said and dropped the cord he had been making earlier at his feet.

  Blacknail eyed it wearily but got up. “Food time?” Blacknail asked his master hopefully.

  “Not yet. Time to practice.”

  Blacknail sighed in irritation. He really didn't want to try making rope again. It was hard and tricky and he just couldn't get i
t right. He frowned in displeasure. He remembered Herad's threat though and sighed. He picked up the cord, walked over to a large rock, sat down, and got back to work. Saeter gave him an approving look. then turned and walked off. Blacknail was thus left alone to work. Well, alone if you didn't count all the other humans wandering around.

  Blacknail worked for a while, but his heart wasn't in it. Wrapping and twisting the plant fibers soon grew unbearably dull. As he worked, it began to get dark, and the goblin nodded off.

  The sound of a large group of humans yelling in unison roared through the clearing and echoed off the surrounding trees. It was followed by the sounds of birds taking flight and horses' startled whinnying.

  Blacknail shot to his feet and was instantly awake. Was the tribe under attack? The goblin quickly scanned his surroundings. In the center of the clearing, a giant pile of wood burned. Waves of red flame rose from it and crackled as they leapt high into the cloudy evening sky. Dozens of humans cast a multitude of long, shifting shadows over the grass and onto the trees as they moved around the fire.

  The voices were now almost deafening. They laughed, yelled, and hooted as they celebrated. It was very goblin-like. Blacknail almost felt like joining in, but suspected he wouldn't be completely welcome.

  The smell of roast deer blanketed the clearing. There was next to no wind to clear the air, so the smell simply built up and filled the area. The meat's delicious and smoky scent made Blacknail drool. He licked his lips clean.

  “To victory and plunder. Are we not the greatest thieves and cutthroats in all the world? Drink to that,” Herad yelled in a voice that was unusually cheerful for her, and that sounded a little forced to the goblin.

  Her voice easily drowned out all the others, and a ragged cheer followed her words as most of the bandits raised their cups high into the air. Blacknail thought he saw the chieftain’s figure posing right beside the fire where the gathered bandits were thickest.

  The goblin looked away from the spectacle and saw that he was alone. Not even Saeter was around. He knew there was some food tucked away in his master's bags. For a second, he was tempted, but he knew taking it would be a bad idea. Saeter would know if something went missing, and he didn't want to steal from his master anyway.

  There were other options though, options more suited to a goblin as cunning as Blacknail. Saeter had shown him how to find various edible plants, such as wild carrot, but what he really wanted was meat. He deserved delicious deer meat.

  The goblin smirked gleefully as he watched the bandits. A plan soon formed in his head. He turned and closed his eyes, letting his night vision come back, then he examined the edges of the clearing. He quickly spotted the guards posted for the celebration. He smiled and giggled to himself. It was time for him to be a sneaky cunning goblin.

  Blacknail moved away from Saeter’s campfire and slipped into the shadows. He crouched and began prowling about on his hands and feet. As a goblin, this type of movement was natural to him. Low to the ground, he moved slowly over and around the trampled grass. On the way to the bonfire, he crawled over to a pile of wooden crates and disappeared out of sight behind them.

  After a few seconds, he peeked around the crates and glanced at his target. None of the bandits were looking his way. He quickly broke from his cover and scurried forward until he stopped behind a patch of grass and weeds that was still standing tall. He was close enough now that the shadows the bandits cast shifted around him.

  After another look to make sure no one could see him lurking in the dark, he crept slowly to a tent and hid behind it. A quick sniff and a rummage through an open sack revealed a small bit of cheese. He took a second to scoff it down before continuing on. He wanted more than a bit of cheese.

  Most of the humans were milling about as they talked to each other, ate, and did some weird ritual that involved hitting their cups together. Blacknail didn't see his master anywhere, but he saw Vorscha and Herad. They were standing next to the fire and talking to each other.

  Then an opportunity presented itself. A man at the edge of the group placed his plate of food and cup on a crate, then walked off into the dark. He was probably going to mark his territory.

  Blacknail waited until no one was looking in that direction, then he dashed forward. By exploiting the nearby humans' blind spots, he reached the target unseen. He quickly grabbed the meat on the plate and the cup beside it. Then as fast as his little legs would take him, he dashed away from the fire and into the safety of the concealing darkness.

  Blacknail hurried back to the pile of crates he had passed earlier, and he glanced back to make sure no one had noticed him. To his relief, no one had. He was such a sneaky cunning goblin, so much more cunning than all the ugly giant humans!

  The goblin giggled in delight. He was breathing heavily and nervous but also exhilarated. Safely hidden among the crates, Blacknail licked his prize meat. It was so tasty! He chewed and gnawed it as the delicious fat melted in his mouth. Much to his disappointment, he was soon finished.

  Thus, he examined the cup of liquid he had stolen. He had assumed it would be water, but it wasn't. He didn't know what it was. He hadn't had time to smell it before he grabbed it, and Blacknail had never really had anything but water to drink. He wondered what this would taste like. Well, it wasn't urine. He knew what that smelled like.

  He took a sip and stifled a choking gasp. Ugh, it burned all the way down! Why did humans drink this? He was about to throw it away when a nice complex aftertaste developed.

  He took another sip, then another. He smiled to himself. It wasn't so bad once you got used to it. Nice really, he felt nice. He felt really nice. He drank the rest of the liquid. Actually, this stuff was amazing. He wanted some more.

  He was such an amazing goblin, and he had such a great master. “Hiccup.” Why, even Herad wasn’t that bad. She was just fond of knives and dressed all dark and stared at you like she wanted to kill you and all your littermates… okay, Herad was pretty bad.

  “Hiccup.” Everyone else was great though… except everyone who wasn't! Also, this drink was great. What was it? He tried to get to his feet to find someone to ask but stumbled and couldn't quite get up for some reason. Never mind then, he would just stay here for now. “Hiccup.”

  He licked his fingers to get another taste of deer meat. Then he giggled uncontrollably. All those stupid humans prancing around that fire hadn't seen him steal their meat and drink. They were so blind and stupid. It was funny. It was hilarious. He was the sneakiest goblin ever!

  His laughter apparently attracted someone's attention, because through a break in his sniggering, he heard footsteps approaching. Uh oh! He tried to stop giggling, but he found his situation too hilarious.

  “Blacknail?” a deep voice asked. The crate he was behind was suddenly moved, revealing a concerned Saeter.

  Blacknail smiled up at his great master. “Master, hello.” He giggled.

  Saeter examined him for a second before taking in the empty cup in his hand. He sniffed the air. Saeter sighed and roughly massaged his temples with his fingers. Intense exasperation was plainly written in his body language. Blacknail thought it was hilarious.

  “This is just what I need—a drunk goblin. I didn't even know goblins could get drunk,” Saeter remarked with another sigh.

  “Me drink stuff every day,” Blacknail responded groggily as he raised his cup unsteadily. Why was he doing that? Things were getting kind of blurry.

  “How in all the hells did you even get that?” Saeter remarked with disbelief.

  “You great!” Blacknail replied cheerfully.

  “Well, at least you're a happy drunk.” Saeter sighed. He grabbed the goblin by the scruff of his neck and dragged him over to his campsite, which didn’t hurt much for some reason.

  Once they reached Saeter's fire, the man sat Blacknail down. He pulled out a flask of water and refilled the cup Blacknail was still holding.

  “Drink,” he commanded.

  Blacknail did and
managed to only spill a little on himself. He was disappointed it was just water, but he was still thirsty, so it was fine.

  Saeter gave Blacknail a troubled expression. “I was going to feed you, but you were gone. I was afraid you had run off, but I see you decided to get your own supper somehow.”

  “I hungry. So I sneak, no one see,” Blacknail whispered to Saeter as he wiggled his fingers in front of his face.

  Saeter gave him an amused look. “I guess that's a type of foraging, and I did tell you to find your own food. Maybe I should watch my tongue.” Saeter chuckled.

  “Yes, master,” Blacknail responded enthusiastically and totally without any sort of understanding. He tried to raise his hands above his head, but he wobbled and had to stop.

  “I should knock some sense into that skull of yours, but you’re drunk and already have a head wound,” Saeter told the goblin. “Come morning though, you'll have a serious hangover coming down on you, goblin. That ought to be punishment enough.” Saeter gave Blacknail a deeper, less sympathetic smile.

  “Nap time,” mumbled a suddenly tired goblin as he let out a deep yawn.

  Saeter threw a ragged piece of cloth over the drowsy goblin and entered his tent for the night. The goblin curled up around his makeshift blanket and fell asleep under the open sky, feeling the most comfortable he had ever been. Maybe, it wasn’t so bad here after all…

  Part 2: Honor Among Thieves

  Chapter 8

  Blacknail woke up the next morning to the feeling of someone beating him savagely. He twitched and gasped as waves of pain exploded through his head and stomach. The stabbing agony in his skull hurt so much, he could barely think, and his stomach felt as if it was trying to explode messily out of both ends of his body at the same time. He had no idea what he’d done to deserve this torture.

  The goblin tried to remember if he had done anything wrong before he’d gone to sleep, but he couldn't recall anything bad. In fact, he couldn't remember much of anything. He fought through the pain and slowly opened his eyes.