Aileen Aroon, A Memoir

by William Osborn Stoddard

mandibles, and two feelers, nearly four incheslong, and the whole body of a dark-brown or gun-barrel colour, and hewill have as good an idea as possible of the gigantic cockroach. Thelegs are of enormous size and strength, taking from fifteen to twentyants to carry one away, and furnished with bristles, which pierce theskin in their passage over one's face; and this sensation, together withthe horrid smell they emit, is generally sufficient to awaken a sleeperof moderate depth. On these legs the animal squats, walking with hiselbows spread out, like a practical agriculturist writing an amatoryepistle to his lady-love, except when he raises the fore part of hisbody, which he does at times, in order the more conveniently to stareyou in the face. He prefers walking at a slow and respectable pace; butif you threaten him by shaking your finger at him, it is very funny tosee how quickly he takes the hint, and hurries off with all his might.What makes him seem more ridiculous is, that he does not appear to takeinto consideration the comparative length of your legs; he seemsimpressed with the idea that he can easily run away from you; indeed, Ihave no doubt he would do so from a greyhound. The creature ispossessed of large eyes; and there is a funny expression of consciousguilt and impudence about his angular face which is very amusing; heknows very well that he lives under a ban--that, in fact, existence is athing he has no business or lawful right with, and consequently he cannever look you straight in the face, like an honest fly or moth. Theeggs, which are nearly half an inch long, and about one-eighth inbreadth, are rounded at the upper edge, and the two sides approach,wedge-like, to form the lower edge, which is sharp and serrated, forattachment to the substance on which they may chance to be deposited.These eggs are attached by one end to the body of the cockroach; andwhen fully formed, they are placed upon any material which the wisdom ofthe mother deems fit food for the youthful inmates. This may be eithera dress-coat, a cocked-hat, a cork, a biscuit, or a book--in fact,anything softer than stone; and the egg is no sooner laid, than itbegins to sink through the substance below it, by an eating ordissolving process, which is probably due to the agency of some freeacid; thus, sailors very often (I may say invariably) have their finestuniform-coats and dress-pants ornamented by numerous little holes,better adapted for purposes of ventilation than embellishment. Theinterior of the egg is transversely divided into numerous cells, eachcontaining the larvae of I know not how many infant cockroaches. Theegg gives birth in a few weeks to a whole brood of triangular littleinsects, which gradually increase till they attain the size of huge ovalbeetles, striped transversely black and brown, but as yet minus wings.These are usually considered a different species, and called thebeetle-cockroach; but having a suspicion of the truth, I one dayimprisoned one of these in a crystal tumbler, and by-and-by had thesatisfaction of seeing, first the beetle break his own back, andsecondly, a large-winged cockroach scramble, with a little difficulty,through the wound, looking rather out of breath from the exertion. Onfirst escaping, he was perfectly white, but in a few hours gotphotographed down to his own humble brown colour. So much for theappearance of these gentry. Now for their character, which may easilybe summed up: they are cunning as the fox; greedy as the glutton;impudent as sin; cruel, treacherous, cowardly scoundrels; addicted todrinking; arrant thieves; and not only eat each other, but even devourwith avidity their own legs, when they undergo accidental amputation.They are very fond of eating the toe-nails--so fond, indeed, as torender the nail-scissors of no value, and they also profess a penchantfor the epidermis--if I may be allowed a professional expression--of thefeet and legs; not that they object to the skin of any other part of thebody, by no means; they attack the legs merely on a principle of easycome-at-ability.

  In no way is their cunning better exhibited than in the cautious andwary manner in which they conduct their attack upon a sleeper. We willsuppose you have turned in to your swinging cot, tucked in your toes,and left one arm uncovered, to guard your face. By-and-by, first a fewspies creep slowly up the bulkhead, and have a look at you: if your eyesare open, they slowly retire, trying to look as much at their ease aspossible; but if you look round, they run off with such ridiculous hasteand awkward length of steps, as to warrant the assurance that they wereup to no good. Pretend, however, to close your eyes, and soon after,one, bolder than the rest, walks down the pillow, and stations himselfat your cheek, in an attitude of silent and listening meditation. Herehe stands for a few seconds, then cautiously lowering one feeler, hetickles your face: if you remain quiescent, the experiment is soonrepeated; if you are still quiet, then you are supposed to be asleep,and the work of the night begins. The spy walks off in great haste, andsoon returns with the working-party. The hair is now searched for dropsof oil; the ear is examined for wax; in sound sleepers, even the mouthundergoes scrutiny; and every exposed part is put under the operation ofgentle skinning. Now is the time to start up, and batter the bulkheadswith your slipper; you are sure of half an hour's good sport; but whatthen? The noise made by the brutes running off brings out the rest, andbefore you are aware, every crevice or corner vomits forth itsthousands, and the bulkheads all around are covered with racing,chasing, fighting, squabbling cockroaches. So numerous, indeed, theyare at times, that it would be no exaggeration to say that every squarefoot contains its dozen. If you are wise, you will let them alone, andgo quietly and philosophically to bed, for you may kill hundreds, andhundreds more will come to the funeral-feast. Cockroaches arecannibals, practically and by profession. This can be proved in manyways. They eat the dead bodies of their slain comrades; and if any oneof them gets sick or wounded, his companions, with a kindness andconsideration which cannot be too highly appreciated, speedily put himout of pain, and, by way of reward for their own trouble, devour him.

  These creatures seem to suffer from a state of chronic thirst; they arecontinually going and returning from the wash-hand basin, and verycareful they are, too, not to tumble in.

  They watch, sailor-like, the motion of the vessel; when the water flowstowards them, they take a few sips, and then wait cautiously while itrecedes and returns. Yet, for all this caution, accidents do happen,and every morning you are certain to find a large number drowned in thebasin. This forms one of the many methods of catching them. I willonly mention two other methods in common use. A pickle-bottle,containing a little sugar and water, is placed in the cabin; the animalscrawl in, but are unable to get out until the bottle is nearly full,when a few manage to escape, after the manner of the fox in the fable ofthe "Fox and Goat in the Well;" and if those who thus escape havepreviously promised to pull their friends out by the long feelers, theyvery unfeelingly decline, and walk away as quickly as possible, sadderand wiser 'roaches. When the bottle is at length filled, it finds itsway overboard. Another method is adopted in some ships--the boys haveto muster every morning with a certain number of cockroaches; if theyhave more, they are rewarded; if less, punished. I have heard ofvessels being fumigated, or sunk in harbour; but in these cases thenumber of dead cockroaches, fast decaying in tropical weather, generallycauses fever to break out in the ship; so that, if a vessel once getsoverrun with them, nothing short of dry-docking and taking to piecesdoes any good.

  They are decided drunkards. I think they prefer brandy; but they arenot difficult to please, and generally prefer whatever they can get.When a cockroach gets drunk, he becomes very lively indeed, runs about,flaps his wings, and tries to fly--a mode of progression which, exceptin very hot weather, they are unable to perform. Again and again hereturns to the liquor, till at last he falls asleep, and by-and-byawakes, and, no doubt filled with remorse at having fallen a victim toso human a weakness, rushes frantically away, and in trying to drink,usually drowns himself.

  But although the cockroach is, in general, the bloodthirsty andvindictive being that I have described, still he is by no meansunsociable, and _has_ his times and seasons of merriment and recreation.On these occasions, the 'roaches emerge from their hiding-places inthousands at some preconcerted signal, perform a reel, or rather anacute-angled, spherically-trigonometrica
l quadrille, to the music oftheir own buzz, and evidently to their own intense satisfaction. Thisqueer dance occupies two or three minutes, after which the patter oftheir little feet is heard no more, the buzz and the bum-m-m are hushed;they have gone to their respective places of abode, and are seen no morefor that time. This usually takes place on the evening of a very hotday--a day when pitch has boiled on deck, and the thermometer below hasstood persistently above ninety degrees. When the lamps are lit in thewardroom, and the officers have gathered round the table for a quietrubber at whist, then is heard all about and around you a noise like therushing of many waters, or the wind among the forest-trees; and onlooking up, you find the bulkheads black, or rather brown, with therustling wretches, while dozens go whirring past you, alight on yourhead, or fly right in your face.

  This is a cockroaches' ball, which, if not so brilliant as the butterflyball of my