Embraced in Ink

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “I’ve never been married, Bristol. Never been close.”

  She swallowed hard. Zia had been the only person she had ever considered marrying, and in the end, they’d been better as friends.

  “I’m single, too.”

  “So, you want to go through with the bet. Because we made it? And because of my mom.”

  “Maybe? I think so. I don’t want to back out.” She said the words quickly, surprising herself.

  “You don’t.”

  She let out a slow breath. “I don’t think I can. I don’t know… We made that promise for a reason back in the day. Perhaps it was for a good reason.”

  She had made it because she’d wanted to stay close to Marcus, or maybe there was something more. Honestly, what had she been thinking ten years ago?

  Marcus stalked towards her, and she froze, seeing a side of him that she hadn’t before. He stood in front of her and then brushed her hair behind her ears before cupping her face with his hands.

  “Think about what you’re saying, think about what we’re saying. You want to be my wife.”

  It wasn’t a question, but she answered anyway.

  “I want to enter this next stage of my life. I want to do it with you. You’re my best friend, Marcus. Why not face the rest of our lives together?”

  “It’s not that easy.”

  “I don’t want your mom to get hurt. I don’t want any of our family members to get hurt. We made a promise. Let’s stick with it.”

  He looked down at her and tucked her hair behind her ears again. “Bristol. We’re getting married? Seriously?”

  Maybe this was all still a dream. Perhaps she was making a horrible mistake. But she nodded, and she saw a look in his eyes, something that maybe made sense.

  She couldn’t tell.

  So, she backed away from him and held out her hand.

  “Let’s shake on it.”

  He looked at her hand and snorted.

  “You pretty much just asked me to marry you for the sake of my mother, and because we made a promise when we were twenty. And now you want to shake on it?”

  “Well, why not?”

  “This is why not.” And then he took another step forward, and his mouth was on hers.

  He had kissed her before, of course—quick pecks, busses on the cheek and the top of her head. Nothing like this.

  She shivered, not knowing what these feelings were bubbling inside her, and sank into him, his tongue brushing along hers once, twice. And then he backed away again, both of them panting, the bare touch of lips not enough.

  “Now, now it makes a little more sense.”

  “Sealed with a kiss and all that?”

  He shook his head, laughing. “We’re probably making a really fucking huge mistake. But you know what, Bristol? Why the fuck not?”

  And then he kissed her on the top of the head and left her standing in her kitchen, an engaged woman, and really fucking lost.

  Chapter 4

  Throwing himself mind, body, and soul into work had to help. At least, that’s what Marcus told himself. After all, if he buried himself in his job, such as this massive project that he was a little anxious about, then he wouldn’t have to think about the fact that he was engaged.

  That, somehow, he was going to start a new life with the one person who already knew his soul better than even he did most days.

  Maybe this would work itself out and would make sense in the end. Perhaps this wasn’t a mistake.

  “Why do you look like you’re going to be sick?” Ronin—his friend and coworker—asked, as he walked into Marcus’s small office, a stack of papers and a leather-bound book tucked safely under one arm. “Because if you’re going to be sick, don’t do it over the books. We always protect the books. You know the first rule of being a librarian.”

  Marcus rolled his eyes. “I thought the first rule of being a librarian was to read.”

  “No, that’s what people think it is. It’s always to protect the books. And then to protect yourself. While reading. You have to do it all at once.”

  “You’re weird.”

  “You’re weird. That’s why we’re friends.”

  “Perhaps. Or maybe it’s because we’ve been working here the longest, and I’m all you have.”

  And odd look passed over Ronin’s face, but then he smiled as if nothing had happened. Marcus didn’t know a lot about his friend, mostly because Ronin was good at keeping secrets. And that was fine with him. Ronin deserved to have his privacy. And Marcus was good at keeping secrets, too.

  Like the fact that his feelings toward Bristol for the past few weeks…months…years…might have been burbling in a new direction when he hadn’t been looking. Not that he would allow himself to actually say those words aloud. Or maybe it was a good time to do so. After all, she was his fiancée.

  Dear God.

  “See? You’re looking sick again. What’s wrong?”

  Marcus shook himself out of his reverie. This wasn’t the time to focus on his future—whatever it may be—with Bristol. No, he needed to work. “Nothing. Seriously. Just one of those days.”

  His family and her family knew that he and Bristol were engaged, but no one else knew outside of those people. Not that that wasn’t a lot of people already for an engagement that wasn’t fake but was sort of arranged in a weird way where he wasn’t quite sure how it had happened. He wasn’t ready for it to be too real yet. And that meant not telling the world until he was ready.

  Only he wasn’t sure that he wasn’t ready.

  That inner thought made him cringe, but there was no going back now.

  Hell, Bristol was going to be his wife. If they actually went through with this, he didn’t know if they were actually going to, but if they did, they were getting married. As in telling each other what they were feeling and declaring vows to one another.

  And sleeping together.

  He froze again, even as Ronin came forward, worry on his face. Fuck. He and Bristol would be sleeping together.

  As in…in bed, or out of bed. Either way. They would be together. Flesh to flesh. He would be inside her. Fucking her. Making love. Doing the things married people did.

  Oh, hell.

  He had kissed her, not on the forehead or the temple or the cheek as usual, but full-on on the lips as if sealing their deal with a kiss. And now he was losing his damn mind.

  “Okay, you’re going to tell me exactly what’s going on, right? ‘Cause you’re starting to scare me.”

  Marcus shook his head. “No, don’t worry about it. I’m just focused on other things right now, instead of the actual project that we’re supposed to be working on.”

  Ronin stared. “If you’re sure.” Marcus nodded. “Right, then. The project. I think it’s going to be pretty fun. But you’re lead on it.”

  “Well, they came to me, so I’m figuring it out.” Marcus was a reference and research librarian, and he specialized in aiding with certain research topics. At the moment, the local university had gotten a huge grant and needed an actual librarian to help on the academic side.

  It was a whole slew of research, logging, and other parts of his job that he didn’t get to do often these days, mostly because grant funding wasn’t the greatest priority for most people at the moment. That meant he spent most of his days researching small grants, but generally bided his time at the desk and in circulation. He loved both parts of his job, but he was really glad to be getting back to the research parts.

  Ronin did both on this particular project and worked closely with him. Although his friend spent a lot of his time on circulation these days.

  The library had lost a lot of funding recently, and that meant there were cutbacks, much to the detriment of the library. This wasn’t simply a place that collected old books, much like what some politicians thought. Countless people used the library’s computers, especially those from areas that didn’t have internet. Not everybody was gifted enough to have high-speed broadband, and with schools
leaning more towards the technological side of teaching these days and relying heavily on tablets and the internet to get work done, people came in to use the internet and the computers all the time. They used their library for research, to read a book for fiction, nonfiction, anything. Audiobooks, movies, CDs, they had a little bit of everything, and yet not enough of it at the same time.

  He loved his job, even when it made his eyes cross. And, with this particular project, he got to work with people, and he got to dive into topics beneath the layers and help with writing a couple of papers. He’d always been a nerd, a geek to some. Had been since he’d been a little boy and picked up his first library card as soon as he could reach the desk. He hadn’t been tall enough, but his dad had picked him up, and Marcus had grinned as he signed his name.

  He hadn’t had big dreams like Bristol, and although they joked about it, he would rather see the world through a book sometimes, instead of dealing with the idea of traveling in large crowds of people. Bristol was the one who had wanted to see the world. And she had seen it. She’d played for kings and queens. For dukes and duchesses.

  He held back the growl at the thought of a certain duke who’d gotten a little too handsy. So much so that once he heard about the incident, Marcus had almost bought a damn plane ticket right then, using the funds he had, to fly to London and punch someone in the face. However, he didn’t know if that would’ve ended with him being beheaded or not. Despite being a librarian, he didn’t know all the facts and laws when it came to the royals.

  Honestly, he’d figured that one of the Montgomerys would get to it first—or Bristol herself. And he knew she would get pissed off at him if he overreacted.

  “You don’t look sick anymore, but you’re looking a little lost. You want to talk about it?” Ronin asked as he leaned against the door again.

  “No, I just have some work to do. Do you want to go over a bit of the project since you’re going to be working on it with me?”

  “I thought you’d never ask.” Ronin took a step in and frowned. “If you need to talk about anything, I’m here. I know you have Bristol and some other good friends as well as an amazing family, but you don’t have to go it alone. So, let me know if you need to talk about anything. I’m pretty good at things like that.”

  Marcus smiled softly. “Thanks, man. And I believe you about that.”

  Ronin grinned. “Good. Now, let’s talk data.”

  Marcus laughed and opened the book, the best sound to his ears.

  * * *

  Marcus ended up working for another couple of hours, about a half-hour past his quitting time, and then unfolded himself from his too-small chair and made his way home. Traffic wasn’t too bad, thankfully, because he took the back roads and didn’t live in the University area of Boulder. If he had, he might have pulled his hair out. Boulder was growing by leaps and bounds. Hell, the rest of Colorado was, too. Housing prices were insane, and renting was even harder these days. As soon as weed became legal in the state, everyone had moved here, and the housing market went crazy.

  Thankfully, Marcus owned his home and wasn’t planning on selling anytime soon. If he was just now moving to the city and trying to start a life? He didn’t know if he’d be able to afford to live in the state he had been born in.

  Shaking his head as he pulled into the garage, he laughed as his mom opened the door to the house.

  He turned off his engine and got out, taking his bag with him. “So, apparently, you’re making yourself at home, then?” Marcus asked as he made his way up the stairs and kissed his mom on the cheek.

  “Of course. You’re lucky I didn’t bring the Montgomerys with me so we could all have a nice little party.” She winked, and guilt slid through him. It wasn’t a lie. Because he and Bristol were engaged. Just because he still wasn’t sure exactly how that had happened, how it all worked, and what he felt about it, didn’t make it untrue.

  “One thing at a time, okay?” He did his best to keep his voice calm. He was anything but calm.

  “Of course, baby,” his mother said, patting him on the cheek. “I am making dinner, though, so you’re going to have to deal with me.”

  He grinned. “You’re making me dinner in my own house? I kind of like that. Although I did leave out chicken.”

  “You left out a single chicken breast, and you have vegetables in the fridge. While I understand that it’s a very healthy dinner, it’s sad that you’re doing it all alone. Why isn’t Bristol here?”

  He looked over his mother’s head at his father, who raised his brows. Well, it seemed he wasn’t going to get a little respite from the interrogation. Not that he blamed them. This had come out of seemingly nowhere.

  “Bristol has her own things to do, and it’s a workday.”

  “That’s true. It’s going to be so exciting when we’re all officially a family.” She clapped her hands and went into the kitchen, and he looked over at his father, who shook his head.

  “She had it in her mind to make her lasagna, but because I can’t have as much pasta as I used to, she’s making the zucchini version instead.”

  Marcus’s stomach grumbled. “I love the veggie lasagna.”

  “It’s not that veggie, there’s still ground chicken in it.”

  “I miss red meat,” his father said, rubbing his stomach. “But then, so does your mom.” Neither mentioned why she didn’t eat red meat anymore.

  His mom walked back in at that moment. “I miss steak. A really bloody steak. However, ground chicken with zucchini lasagna will have to do. We all know it’s my sauce that makes it.” She clapped her hands. “Okay now, Marcus, come help me set the table. You can eat and tell me all about your day. And then, maybe, you can tell me the story of how you ended up engaged to your best friend.”

  Marcus slid his hands into his pockets and looked away from his father.

  “I think Bristol needs to be here when I tell the story.”

  His mother peeked out of the kitchen and frowned.

  “Okay. Just know that I’m happy for both of you. I’ve always known the two of you could do great things together, friends or more. I’m very happy that it looks like you’re finally following your heart.”

  She went back into the kitchen, and Marcus swallowed hard before going to help her set the table.

  Was he following his heart? He didn’t know.

  All he knew was that she had always been part of his life. Since before he could truly remember not having her there. She made him smile, made him think. She pushed him. And while that might annoy others, he liked the push. He wasn’t too laid-back, but he enjoyed the idea that she knew exactly where she wanted to go, and he could follow if he wished or go in other directions. She never made him do anything he didn’t want, and that included saying yes to being with her.

  He had to look deep inside and put his feelings in order. If he did that, then he’d make the right choices. They both would. And that was scary. He was afraid that if they looked too hard, he would lose her. He’d already almost lost her once. She had started that new life, and he had been afraid that she would never look back, that she would walk away and become the brightest star she could be. She deserved all of that and more. She had worked her ass off. It had been her hard work, determination, and innate talent that had set her on the stage that she was on now.

  When she came to him making that deal, the promise between the two of them, he hadn’t been able to say no…hadn’t wanted to.

  He hadn’t wanted to lose her.

  Thankfully, at dinner, his mother let him move on to topics such as work and the fact that he probably needed a bigger house. He knew it was because she thought that Bristol was going to move in, but hell, he didn’t know. He had no idea what he had gotten himself into, and he needed to figure it out. He just hadn’t had the time yet. He had barely slept the night before, and then he’d had to work. He needed to weed through his thoughts and figure out exactly what he was going to do. Marriage was a big thing. So, he needed to d
etermine what he felt for Bristol.

  And that wasn’t going to be easy.

  His parents left, thankfully before his mother did the dishes. He hated when she did them in his house. Not that he wasn’t grateful, but his mother shouldn’t have to do the dishes, even if she had literally broken into his home to make him dinner.

  He used the quiet time after they were gone to think and let his mind wander before he went back into his office and picked up his guitar. There were many reasons he and Bristol were best friends. One of the subtler ones was music. Oh, he was nothing like her in terms of what he could do with music. He had some talent, he liked playing, it was in his blood, after all. His dad could play piano and guitar like nobody’s business and even had a band in college.

  His dad’s old friends still came and played a set or three every once in a while, and they would jam out. He and Bristol join in, with Bristol even playing her cello at times, going with a little rock and blues, something so not like what she usually played.

  She would laugh, and Marcus would sing along, loving that she was part of it. Because she was a part of him.

  Always had been.

  He sat down on his stool and started to strum, just a little melody, something that he used to clear his head. If he continued down this path, he and Bristol would be married.

  Did he love her?

  Yes. Undoubtedly, yes. She was his best friend, and he loved her. He would do anything for her. They were good together. He had never known anyone like her. Had never had anyone like her in his life.

  He hadn’t had the type of serious relationship someone his age should have. Not because of Bristol. No, that was never the case. Yeah, some of his girlfriends hadn’t liked that he was best friends with a woman, but he never had impure thoughts or whatever the hell you wanted to call it about her when he was with someone. Because that was wrong.

  He had always been all in with his relationships, they just hadn’t worked out.