Extreme Junior Edition
Page 1
The
WORST-CASE SCENARIO
Survival Handbook:
EXTREME
Junior Edition
The
WORST-CASE SCENARIO
Survival Handbook:
EXTREME
Junior Edition
By David Borgenicht and Justin Heimberg
Illustrated by Chuck Gonzales
A WORD OF WARNING: It’s always important to keep safety in mind. If you’re careless, even the tamest activities can result in injury. As such, all readers are urged to act with caution, ask for adult advice, obey all laws, and respect the rights of others when handling any Worst-Case Scenario.
Copyright © 2008 by Quirk Productions, Inc.
A QUIRK PACKAGING BOOK.
All rights reserved.
Worst-Case Scenario and The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook are trademarks of Quirk Productions, Inc.
Illustrations by Chuck Gonzales.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Borgenicht, David.
The worst-case scenario survival handbook : extreme junior edition / by David Borgenicht and Justin Heimberg ; Illustrated by Chuck Gonzales.
p. cm.
eISBN 978-0-8118-7293-5
1. Social skills in children—Juvenile literature. 2. Socialization—Juvenile literature. 3.
Children—Humor—Juvenile literature. I. Heimberg, Justin. II. Gonzales, Chuck. III. Title.
HQ783.B663 2008
613.6’9—dc22
2008014580
Chronicle Books LLC
680 Second Street, San Francisco, California 94107
www.chroniclekids.com
The publisher, packager, and authors disclaim any liability from any injury that may result from the use, proper or improper, of the information contained in this book.
CONTENTS
Welcome to Team Extreme
CHAPTER 1 How to Survive at Sea
How to Fend Off a Shark
How to Build a Raft After a Shipwreck
How to Survive When You’re Adrift at Sea
How to Avoid a Tsunami
How to Treat a Jellyfish Sting
How to Navigate by the Stars
CHAPTER 2 How to Survive in the Mountains
How to Survive an Erupting Volcano
How to Survive an Avalanche
How to Avoid a Bear Attack
How to Survive a Lightning Storm on a Mountainside
How to Escape from a Mountain Lion
How to Go to the Bathroom in the Woods
CHAPTER 3 How to Survive in the Desert
How to Get Along with Tarantulas
How to Deal with a Scorpion
How to Protect Yourself in a Sandstorm
How to Survive an Encounter with a Rattlesnake
How to Find Water in the Desert
How to Stop a Runaway Camel
CHAPTER 4 How to Survive in the Jungle
How to Cross Piranha-Infested Waters
How to Escape the Grip of a Python
How to Escape from Quicksand
How to Deal with an Angry Gorilla
How to Remove a Leech
How to Catch Fish Without a Rod
How to Build a Shelter in the Rain Forest
CHAPTER 5 How to Survive in the Arctic
How to Avoid a Polar Bear Attack
How to Survive Falling Through the Ice
How to Deal with a Charging Moose
How to Make Emergency Snowshoes
How to Build a Snow Cave
How to Survive If Stranded on an Iceberg
CHAPTER 6 How to Survive on Safari
How to Dress for Success on Safari
How to Track Animals
How to Survive the Deadliest Animal in Africa
How to Escape from a Crocodile
How to Survive an Elephant Stampede
How to Survive a Charging Rhinoceros
Appendix
How to Tell Direction Without a Compass
How to Signal for Help
Field Guide to Extreme Foods
Foreign Emergency Phrases
About the Experts
About the Authors and Illustrator
Welcome to Team Extreme
You may have heard the saying “If life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” That’s great, but what do you do when those lemons are being handed to you by a 400-pound (181-kg) gorilla? This guide will prepare you for just that sort of scenario, and it’ll give you hundreds of other tips to help you become the ultimate extreme adventurer.
And when we say extreme, we mean EXTREME! In capital letters. And italics. With an exclamation point. Yes, the first day of school is extremely uncomfortable, and a wedgie from a bully can be extremely painful. But we’re talking about a whole different level of extreme. We’re talking pythons, tarantulas, sandstorms, piranhas, sharks, quicksand, elephant stampedes, mountain lions, tigers, and bears, oh my!
When faced with these kinds of extreme situations, extreme action must be taken. FAST! There’s no time to sit down and draw a flow chart. No time to phone a friend or ask your parents for advice. It’s all about you, and what you know, right then, right away.
But don’t freak out. The information in this book spans the globe, across the seven continents, from ocean to desert to forest to tundra. No unsafe place is safe from our extreme survival know-how. So whether you’re going on an adventure in Africa, the Arctic, or merely in your imagination, you’re covered. Just stay calm. Surviving an extreme worst-case scenario is as easy as 1, 2, 3 . . . (OK, sometimes you might need 4, 5, 6.)
But even if you don’t have plans to go on safari or explore the tundra any time soon, you’ll still find this book packed with interesting (and sometimes surprising!) facts. Did you know, for example, that the most dangerous animal in Africa is actually the mosquito? Or that lightning really can strike the same place twice? And did you know that tarantulas can shoot their hairs like tiny darts? You will know after you read this guide.
Read, and dare we say, study up. Commit these tips to memory, because a good extreme adventurer is an informed extreme adventurer.
So turn the page and begin your initiation into Team Extreme. When you’re done reading, you’ll have everything you need to take on the world’s worst (not to mention lots of cool information to impress your friends with). Good luck on your journeys.
Be safe. Be smart. Be extreme.
—David Borgenicht and Justin Heimberg
CHAPTER 1
How to Survive at Sea
How to Fend Off a Shark
Few images spark as much fear in swimmers as a shark fin slicing through the water. Never mind that deer kill 300 times more people a year than sharks! (See Oh Deer!, page 38.) But even though shark attacks are very rare, it’s good to know what to do if Jaws drops in on your swim.
1 Stay calm.
This is sort of a given. It wouldn’t be very good advice to tell you to panic and scream like a baby, would it? The point is, just because you see a shark does not mean it will attack. Signs a shark may be getting just a little deadly include it swimming in increasingly smaller circles and rubbing its belly against the seafloor.
2 Hit it!
If a shark comes at you, you have just one choice: Fight back. Fight dirty. Go for the shark’s most sensitive spots: its eyes and gill openings. Punch, poke, and kick. This is a pro-wrestling match, and you’re the bad guy.
3 A boxer never quits.
Keep on hitting the shark—jab it over and over in its sensitive spots. If you can convince your toothy opponent you’re too much trouble, it may look elsewhere for its lunch. After all, you wouldn
’t want to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that slapped you across the face, would you?
4 Get away.
Your best bet is to get on dry land, where Jaws can’t follow (at least not before another million years of evolution). If you’re in too deep (like if you’re scuba diving), try hiding in weeds or against the seafloor, where it’ll be harder for the shark to get to you.
Real or Ridiculous?
Which of these sharks are real?
Answer: a and c are real.
How to Build a Raft After a Shipwreck
At first, the idea of being shipwrecked on a remote island seems pretty cool—endless days frolicking on the beach. Then again, there’s no air conditioning or video games. Here’s how to get back to the real world.
1 Go logging.
Clear a path into the interior of the island and find two logs about your height and ten logs about twice your height. OK, lumberjack, now lug those babies back toward the shore. Hey, no one said this was going to be easy.
2 Live on the edge.
Place the two short logs at the edge of the water at low tide. This is important: You wouldn’t want to build the world’s greatest raft, complete with swimming pool and mini golf, only to realize you can’t get it in the water. Lay the longer logs on top of and across the shorter ones so they extend a bit past both short logs.
3 The rest is easy—knot!
Here’s the hard part. You need to tie the logs together. Seaweed or vines are probably your best bet for string substitutes if you don’t have actual string. Securely tie the logs together with long lengths of vine wrapped in figure eights and as many knots as you can.
4 Surf’s up, ship out.
When the tide comes in, the water will flow under and around the raft. The raft will start to float, and you can push it out into the water. Now all you need to do is survive in the world’s biggest wave pool (see How to Survive When You’re Adrift at Sea, page 18). Good luck!
Island Inventions
(in Decreasing Order of Genius)
Surviving is all about being resourceful and creative. What would you make if you were stranded on a deserted island?
How to Survive When You’re Adrift at Sea
If you’re ever in a shipwreck, you’ll need your wits, your strength, and your nerves of steel. Oh, and a lifeboat would help! Once you’re adrift in the great deep blue, use these tips to steer yourself to safety.
1 Collect rainwater.
Supply your boat or raft with things that can function as containers: bottles, hollow coconuts, your World’s Greatest Grandkid mug, anything. Let them sit in the rain to collect water. Then put lids on your containers (you can make lids out of whatever is handy) so you can store the water and avoid spills. Drink small sips, not big gulps, so your body can absorb the water.
2 No loose ends.
Tie your water containers to you or the boat to make sure you don’t lose them. In fact, you may want to tie yourself to the boat so you don’t lose you.
3 Don’t work on your tan.
Act like a vampire at the beach and cover your skin as much as possible to avoid sunburn and sunstroke.
4 Land ho!
If you’re in a busy area, you might be found by another ship. If not, keep your eye out for land. Even if you can’t see land, there are signs you’re nearing it:
• Birds. They’ll fly back to an island at night, so follow their lead.
• Driftwood. If it’s floating, land’s approaching.
• Murky water. Muddy water means a river’s mouth may be near—land could be just over the horizon.
5 Shore thing.
Choose a sandy beach over a more dangerous rocky or coral shore. If necessary, drift along the shore until you find the perfect place to land.
What’s Your Worst Case?
Being stranded in a sea of snot?
Or
Being stranded in a sea of vomit?
How to Avoid a Tsunami
Rearrange the letters in the word tsunami, and you can spell “I am nuts,” which is what you are if you stay near the ocean when one of these monster waves approaches. Learn the warning signs so you can be far away when the ten-story-high waves come crashing down.
1 Hey, wasn’t there an ocean here just now?
If the water level suddenly drops or rises for no clear reason, that’s one sign of a coming tsunami. Or maybe a giant sea creature just took a big swallow. Either way, take the water movement as a cue to get your butt out of the water—and away from the beach altogether.
2 Water-quake!
Tsunamis are caused by underwater earthquakes. If you’re on the shore and the ground begins to shake or you hear a low continuous roar, it’s time to get going. Don’t stop to grab your flippers.
3 Up, up, and away.
Get yourself off the beach and up to a high place, like the peak of the local mountain or the top floor of a tall building.
4 Aah—aaah—tsu!!
Like sneezes, the waves of a tsunami can keep on coming. Stay high and dry till things calm down. You don’t want to end up soaked.
What Would You do?
You are on a sailboat in a small harbor when you hear a loud roar and the sea level toward the shore seems to have dropped. What should you do?
a. Take your boat far into open water.
b. Stay where you are and lower the sail.
c. Sail near other boats—safety in numbers.
d. Abandon ship and dive to the magical undersea land of Zarnia, where the water nymphs and naiads can protect you.
Answer: a. Take your boat far into open water. Oftentimes, tsunamis are not even felt in deep water.
My Hero!
In 2004, a ten-year-old British girl named Tilly Smith, who had studied tsunamis in geography class, saw the receding ocean on Mai Khao Beach in northern Phuket, Thailand, and became a hero. She and her parents warned others on the beach, which was evacuated safely.
How to Treat a Jellyfish Sting
Imagine a mop made of stingers brushing across your body, and you’ll have an idea of what it feels like to get stung by a jellyfish. The good news is that with the right recipe, you can at least lessen the zing of that sting.
1 Please pass the saltwater.
Freshwater’s the way to go when brushing your teeth, shampooing, and just about everything else. But with a jellyfish sting, freshwater will actually make the sting feel worse, because it washes away salts that help lessen the sting. Rinse the sting with seawater.
2 Break out the vinegar.
White vinegar, to be more specific. Why treat your wound like a salad? Because of nematocysts. Nematocysts are tiny structures in the cells of jellyfish that deliver the sting by firing tiny “darts” of venom. The acid in the vinegar deactivates these beasts. Bottom line: The vinegar takes the sting out. (No need to add croutons.)
3 Remove any tentacles.
Lift, don’t scrape, any tentacles off using a stick or glove. If you scrape them off, you’ll cause more stings to occur. You already have an entire Braille alphabet of stings on you, so there’s no need for more.
4 To pee or not to pee? That is the question.
Some say peeing on a jellyfish sting will ease the pain. However, an Australian study showed that it actually caused more, not less, firing of nematocysts. So, it’s best not to pee on yourself or a friend. What a relief!
How to Navigate by the Stars
Centuries ago, sailors used the stars to keep their ships on course at night. And guess what? Those stars are still twinkling, so you can use them to figure out which way is which, whether you’re at sea or on land.
1 Take a dip.
The North Star (also known as Polaris) isn’t the brightest star, so we use other stars to locate it, like the stars of the Big Dipper. You can’t miss the Big Dipper—it looks like a big ladle that’s scooping up some star soup.
2 Use your pointers.
Focus on the two stars that form the far end of the ladle’s cup
. These stars are called “pointers” because they point to the North Star. Just draw an imaginary line through the pointer stars and out across the sky, as shown on the right. The next star you’ll see is the North Star.
3 Catch a falling North Star.
OK, stargazer. You’ve found the North Star. Now imagine that the North Star fell straight to the ground. Go find that fallen star. That’s where North is. Now you can figure out south, east, and west—and head in the direction you want to go!
BE AWARE • If you’re in the Southern Hemisphere, you can navigate by finding the Southern Cross, which is in the southern part of the sky. Either that, or just turn this page upside down and hope for the best.
Real or Ridiculous?
Which of these constellations are real?
a. Canes Venatici (Hunting Dogs)
b. Ursa Major (The Great Bear)
c. Pantus Cleanus (The Clean Slacks)
d. Castoris Bloatus (The Bloated Beaver)
e. Piscis Austrinus (The Southern Fish)
Anwser: a, b, and e are real. Note: The Big Dipper is actually a part of the constellation Ursa Major. Can you spot it in the tail?
CHAPTER 2
How to Survive in the Mountains
How to Survive an Erupting Volcano
A volcanic eruption is basically a mountain throwing up. Things have been gurgling around inside for a while, and suddenly—SPEW!—a mess of liquid, solids, and gas is vomited out in a fiery mess. And this stuff really burns. Here’s how to make sure that spew doesn’t get on yew.
1 Look out—it’s raining rocks.
When you think of an erupting volcano, you picture red hot lava flows dripping off a mountain like melting ice cream. But along with the rivers of fire, there are rocks being spit high into the air. If you’re anywhere near a mountain that’s blowing chunks, take cover if you can, and roll into a ball to protect your head.