Extreme Junior Edition

by David Borgenicht

  3 Freeze!

  Don’t move. Don’t throw stones at the snake or poke it with a stick. Just back away. Give the rattler plenty of room—its striking distance can be half its overall length.

  4 Fang you very much.

  If you are bitten, stay calm, walk (don’t run) to get medical help, and keep the bite above your heart if possible. Do not try to treat the bite yourself by bandaging it or putting anything on it—leave the rescue to the professionals. Though painful, rattler bites are rarely fatal.

  Nanny, Nanny Boo-Boo!

  Why does a snake stick out its tongue and hiss?

  a. It’s a warning to would-be attackers.

  b. It thinks it’s funny to taunt you.

  c. It’s feeding off particles in the air.

  d. It uses its tongue to smell.

  Answer: d. The forked tongue picks up odors from the air and touches them to openings in the snake’s mouth. This is how a snake smells!

  How to Find Water in the Desert

  Out in the desert, there’s no escaping the sun. Keeping hydrated is the only way to battle the constant thirst. When you’ve emptied your canteen, here’s how to find some new, fresh water.

  1 Dry stream? I thought you said ice cream.

  Look for a dry creek bed—even if there is no water flowing, there may be some beneath the surface. Use a stick or your hands, and dig into the stream bottom to see if you find moist sand or water pooling. Dirt soup. Yummy.

  2 Trust your animal instincts.

  Animals need water too. If you follow an animal’s tracks or call, you may be heading for the local wildlife water cooler. Of course, before getting a drink, you’ll want to scope out the poolside for any predators.

  Are Mirages Real?

  A mirage is a real phenomenon that can make you think you’re seeing a pool of water ahead of you in the desert. The sight you’re seeing is absolutely real—you can even take a picture of it! But of course (sadly!), there’s no real water there. This kind of mirage happens when the hot ground warms up the air above it, which causes rays of sunlight to bend so much that you actually see an image of the sky on the ground. This image can look like water and even ripple like water, but don’t be fooled—there’s not a drop to drink!

  BE AWARE • You should always purify water you find in the desert (or anywhere in the wilderness) with a water filter or iodine tablets, or by boiling the water.

  3 Show a “can dew” spirit.

  Even in the desert, mornings following cold nights result in desert dew. (There’s a bad name for a soda, huh?) You can scrape the dew drops off plants into your mouth. Hey, take what you can get.

  How to Stop a Runaway Camel

  Whether it’s got one hump or two, a camel is the perfect desert transport. It can travel long distances with very little water and withstand the scorching desert sun. Though camels are easily trained, they’re still prone to getting startled by loud noises and other surprises, so you’d better be prepared in case the one you’re riding decides to make a run for it.

  HOW TO RIDE A CAMEL

  Before you can rein in a runaway, it’s important to know how to ride a camel the right way.

  1 You scratch its back ...

  It won’t break yours. Rake the camel’s coat before putting a saddle on. This removes any sticks or burrs that might be a real pain in the hump if stuck under the saddle. Feel free to gossip with the camel as you do its hair.

  The Perfect Desert Vehicle

  Paint Job: A camel’s thick coat reflects sunlight and insulates the body from the heat.

  Headlights: Long eyelashes and—check this out—sealable nostrils help against blowing sand. There are times when we all wish we had sealable nostrils.

  Fuel efficiency: A camel’s organs and fatty humps allow it to go without water for long periods. Its pee comes out as thick as syrup and its poop is so dry it is used to light fires.

  Wheels: Tough feet protect against hot sand.

  2 “Down, boy!”

  It’s a bad idea to take a running jump to mount a camel. Instead, trainers have taught camels to learn commands to make them kneel down. The trainer’s Secret Word #1 will get the camel to crouch low enough that you can get on the hump.

  3 Don’t get tossed.

  After you utter Secret Word #2 for “up,” the camel will stand. But brace yourself! The camel’s backside goes up first and fast. Lean back, or you’ll get a face full of sand.

  4 Gentle reins.

  Riders use reins to steer a camel, just like they would with a horse. However, in the camel’s case, the reins are attached to a peg in the nose. It’s very punk rock. But be gentle. Think of how painful it is to yank a nose hair, and multiply that by ten.

  5 Sway with it.

  A camel walks differently from a horse—the camel moves both right legs together, then both left legs, causing it to sway side to side. Sway with it, and you won’t fall off.

  HOW TO STOP A RUNAWAY CAMEL

  1 Rein it in (sideways).

  At speeds up to 40 miles per hour (64 kph), a runaway camel ride is no pony trot. You need to rein in your dashing dromedary. But don’t pull back—that could snap the reins. Instead, pull the reins to one side. This will cause the camel to run in circles. Pull toward the side that the camel seems to prefer, not against it.

  2 Hang on for your life.

  Pretend you’re in a rodeo, and while you may need to hang on for more than 8 seconds, it won’t be too long. Get low, grip the camel with your legs, and hold onto the horn of the saddle tightly. The camel will eventually get tired of running in circles and realize it isn’t really getting anywhere.

  3 Make your perfect dismount.

  The camel will sit when it gets tired, giving you a perfect chance to hop off. Tell the camel “good boy” for sitting. Give it a treat.

  Spit Take

  You may have heard that irritable camels will spit on people. Is it true? Yes and no. Camels rarely spit and are generally good-natured. However, if a camel feels threatened, it may spit at whatever is threatening it. Only, it’s not really spit. It’s worse. It’s more like projectile vomit. A camel burps up the semi-digested food in its stomach into its mouth and then uses its lips to sling the goods. The result is a stream of stomach stuff that can cover your entire upper body!

  CHAPTER 4

  How to Survive in the Jungle

  How to Cross Piranha-Infested Waters

  What’s worse than the worst day you’ve ever had at school? Spending a day in a school of piranhas. With their super-sharp teeth (which can bite through a steel fishhook!), a school of piranhas can strip the flesh from a fish or small animal in seconds. Here’s how to stay off the menu.

  1 Choose the non-piranha section of the restaurant, er, river.

  The safest section of a river is away from the fishing docks. Docks where fish are cleaned are like fast-food restaurants for piranhas (complete with swim-through service and snappy meals).

  FAST FACTS • Piranhas mostly live in South American rivers, like the rivers in the Amazon rain forest. People in the Amazon region have used piranhas’ sharp teeth as tools.

  2 Flee the frenzy.

  In a “feeding frenzy,” piranhas will snap wildly at anything in reach. Even though you are unlikely to be the main course, don’t let any parts of you become a side dish. Piranhas generally eat fish that are smaller than they are, so they’ll only bite you if you get in the way.

  3 Nighttime is the right time.

  If you absolutely must cross a piranha-infested river, do it at night. The fish are less active, and if you awaken them, they’re likely to swim away. Dawn is the worst time for a dip, as piranhas are hungriest in the morning.

  What Would You do?

  You’re bushwhacking in the Amazon in search of an ancient relic rumored to have mystical powers. You machete your way through the underbrush and come upon a river. The water is low since it’s the height of the dry season. You’re pretty scraped up from fighting through some
thorns, and the water will feel good. Great time for a quick dip, right?

  Answer: No chance, Crazy Pants. Piranhas can be dangerously hungry during the dry season, especially if they smell the blood from your wounds.

  How to Escape the Grip of a Python

  The world’s largest snake, the python, can grow as long as a fire hose and as wide as a telephone pole. The reptilian giant is also a “constrictor,” meaning it squeezes its catch in its coils until the pressure is too much to take. Here’s how to avoid the Hug of Doom!

  1 Be on the lookout.

  Pythons are all about the ambush. If that branch is moving, get your patootie out of there. Pythons can strike suddenly. They can also stay underwater for 30 minutes.

  2 Remain still.

  If a python manages to give you a squeeze, relaxing your muscles may trick the snake into thinking you’ve been properly tenderized and are ready for consumption. He may loosen his grip. If so . . .

  3 Go for the head.

  Take off your reptilian body wrap. Just grab the head and unwrap it. Hey look, you shouldn’t have tried it on in the first place.

  What’s Your Worst Case?

  Sharing a sleeping bag with a python?

  or

  Taking a bath with a school of piranhas?

  Who Would Win in a Fight—an Alligator or a Python?

  In 2005, a 13-foot (4-m) python and a 6-foot (2-m) alligator were found in an unusual position. The lifeless alligator was discovered sticking out from a tear in the equally lifeless snake’s body. The snake probably thought it had won the battle after it swallowed the gator. However, it’s not over till it’s over, and unfortunately, in the end, it was over for both of them.

  How to Escape from Quicksand

  How many times have you been walking to school when BAM!, you suddenly stumble into a pit of quicksand? OK, so maybe quicksand isn’t as common in daily life as cartoons seem to indicate. But if you’re walking around the right (or wrong) riverbank, you just may encounter that rare substance that’s created when water mixes with sand but doesn’t form clay. Which makes it extra sticky and possible to sink into—like a big bowl of earth pudding!

  1 Walk softly and carry a big stick.

  If you’re in quicksand country, bring a pole. The pole will help you if you get stuck. Try not to step anywhere that looks suspicious, like onto a sand-topped puddle or in the hole by that sign that says “quicksand.”

  2 If you start to sink, lay the pole on top of the quicksand.

  Think of the pole as one of those foam-noodle-floaty things at the pool. Moving slowly, wiggle your back onto the “noodle” and slowly spread your arms and legs. Chill out until you start to float.

  BE AWARE • Always move slowly in quicksand. Thrashing around will tire you out and puts you at risk of inhaling sand, which can suffocate you.

  3 Float, don’t flap.

  OK, so you forgot your pole. Don’t panic: Your body is less dense than quicksand, so if you can relax, you will eventually begin to float. If you have a heavy backpack, shrug it off—anything that makes you heavy will make you sink.

  How to Deal with an Angry Gorilla

  There’s a reason for the expression “to go ape”—a gorilla will scream, beat his chest, and bare his teeth when upset. Of course, it’s all just a big show to look tough and assert the gorilla’s rank in the group. To stay safe, you need to learn your role.

  1 Let’s get ready to humble!

  Gorillas are usually pretty peaceful—unless you’re threatening them. So swallow your pride and let the gorilla win the staring contest. Stay quiet and keep your arms to your side, so he doesn’t think you’re testing his dominance.

  2 Don’t call his bluff.

  A gorilla may make a “bluff charge” to intimidate you. Well, be intimidated. If you’re nose-to-nose with a 400-pound (181-kg) gorilla, make yourself small and act afraid. If he thinks you got his point, he’ll let you off easy.

  3 Offer groom service.

  So you’ve just been charged by a giant ape. Caressing the mad monkey’s fur probably seems like odd advice. In this case, however, the ape may take the hair care as a nonthreatening gesture, because lower-ranked gorillas will groom the head ape. In other words, if you can’t beat ’em, groom ’em.

  How to Remove a Leech

  In the warm shallows of jungle pools lurks a little blood-sucker that loves to latch onto unsuspecting swimmers like you. Here’s how to avoid being a leech’s juice box.

  1 Don’t start in the middle.

  When you find a leech stuck on you, resist the urge to just grab the leech in the middle and pull. The leech is lip-locked on your arm in not one, but two places! Playing tug-of-war with your own body is a game no one wins.

  What Would You do?

  Which of these methods are other ways of getting leeches off you?

  • Salt

  • Heat

  • Insect repellent

  Answer: None of them. These irritants will cause the leech to throw up into the bite, which can spread bacteria and cause infection.

  2 Nail the leech.

  Look for the small end of the leech—this is the mouth. Put your fingernail on your skin next to the leech, but not directly on it. Push against it sideways to break the seal.

  3 So long, sucker!

  Now push away the big end, while flicking at the mouth so it doesn’t reattach. Fling the leech away, shaking it off your finger like an unwanted booger.

  How to Catch Fish Without a Rod

  Anybody can catch a fish with a motorboat, a fancy rod, and a state-of-the-art lure. The test of a true fishing master is whether you can catch a fish with nothing but the clothes on your back. Literally.

  1 Make the frame for a net.

  Find a young plant that splits into two branches, like the one shown on the right. It should be about as long as your leg. Bend the two branches toward each other and tie them together to make a circle.

  2 Take the shirt off your back.

  And your front. Don’t forget your arms. In fact, take the shirt off completely! After you take off your shirt, tie a knot in the shirt below the armpits. Then tie the shirt to the sides of the net frame. Voilà, a net!

  3 Stay out of the sun.

  This is about catching fish, not rays. Fish like the shadowy places near the edges of the water, so that’s your target area. Once you find the right spot, it’s time to . . .

  4 Net the surf.

  When you swipe your homemade net through the pool, water should flow through the shirt, but fish will be caught.

  How to Build a Shelter in the Rain Forest

  With a name like “rain forest,” it’s probably going to rain in this forest—a lot. Which means that if you’re lost here, you need to find (or make) some cover fast.

  1 Location. Location. Location.

  High and dry ground is ideal. Look for a clearing. Stay away from any swampy or low-lying spot, a.k.a. the mosquito breeding ground. And don’t pick a spot under a coconut tree or a tree with any dead limbs, or else more than raindrops may fall on your head.

  2 Lean on me.

  Sticks and stones can protect your bones. Find a sturdy fallen tree trunk or a rock. Lean some thick branches and sticks at an angle against the fallen tree. This is why this sort of shelter is called a “lean-to.” Crawl under it to make sure you have enough room to fit (your lean-to shouldn’t be too-lean).

  3 Seal it up

  Fill in all the holes with lots of large leaves and moss. Pile it on! You don’t want any leaks. Hang a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the side of your shelter, so the jungle critters will leave you alone.

  The Rain Forest by the Numbers

  • The Amazon rain forest alone produces 20 percent of Earth’s oxygen.

  • More than 3,000 fruits are found in rain forests.

  • Some experts believe we are losing 50,000 plant species a year from the destruction of the rain forest.

  Other Shelters

  The lean-to
is just one easy shelter to make. There are loads of others to choose from depending on your circumstances.

  CHAPTER 5

  How to Survive in the Arctic

  How to Avoid a Polar Bear Attack

  Here’s the problem with polar bears: They have no natural predators, so they have little fear. This means they’re not afraid of humans. All the more reason to watch your tushy on the tundra!

  1 If the bear doesn’t see you, keep it that way.

  Don’t try to get a closer look or a better picture. Stay downwind of the bear, so it doesn’t catch your funky odor. No offense.

  2 If the bear doesn’t see you, keep it that way.

  If you see the bear standing, sniffing, or taking notice of you, let the bear know you’re human by talking and waving your arms. If you’re in a group, everybody should do this. Make a commotion. Have a dance contest.

  Real or Ridiculous?

  a. Polar bears have clear hair, not white hair. The hair looks white because it reflects light.

  b. Some polar bears in Antarctica have black hair.

  c. Polar bears have webbed front feet.

  d. Polar bears have been known to make snowman-like structures and rub their backs against them.

  e. Under their fur, polar bears have spotted skin.

  f. Polar bears have taste buds on their toes.

  Answer: a and c are real. Choice b was doubly ridiculous—there are no polar bears in Antarctica.

  3 Stand your ground.