Trusting Tanner (The Collins Brothers)

by Lexi Lawton

“Sounds complicated.”

  “Not really.” He turned to look at her. “I’ll sacrifice mine to help you out of yours if you want.”

  She smiled. “Thanks.”

  But he didn’t move to get up, and neither did she. The longer she lay there, the warmer she became, and she wasn’t sure if it was because the snow was melting into a pool of warm water as a result of her body heat, or if it was because of the way Tanner looked at her.

  “I miss you, Jules,” he whispered, averting his gaze up to the sky. “I wanted you to know that.” He sighed. “I thought it might get easier the more time passes, but it hasn’t. It only gets worse.”

  “I know. I miss you, too.” She closed her eyes and turned her face toward the sky, savoring what little sun shone down on them. A moment later, she was shrouded in darkness. She opened her eyes to see Tanner standing over her, both his hands extended.

  “Come on, I’ll help you up.”

  Nodding, she took both of his hands, and he yanked her up and straight into his arms. She didn’t pull away but instead rested her hands on his biceps. She cursed the layers upon layers of clothes separating them. Slowly, he lowered his head, his lips inching closer to hers, his intent clear in his eyes. She sucked in a breath. “Tanner…”

  He stopped abruptly and rested his forehead to hers. “Sorry.” His smile was tight but unapologetic.

  “No, it’s okay.” She moved out of his arms and instantly missed him. “Maybe we should go back inside.”

  “Nonsense. We haven’t built a snowman yet. Or a snow fort.” He gave her another boyish grin, and she couldn’t resist.

  “Okay, lead the way.” She followed him across the backyard where he proceeded to show her how to build the ultimate snowman.

  …

  For the six days leading up to Christmas, Tanner and Xander kept Juliana so busy she didn’t have time to even think about talking to Tanner, let alone do it. After the first day playing in the snow, they went sledding and ice skating. They’d gone shopping, went to the movies, to an arcade and pool hall. All of it had been so much fun. She’d barely found the time to text Devon to let him know where she was and how she was doing. But when she did, he’d been way more enthusiastic than she expected, telling her how happy he was for her.

  And now it was Christmas Day. Juliana stood in the living room doorway, watching as the Collins family exchanged gifts. When she first arrived, Tanner had introduced her as a friend from school, which wasn’t a lie, but it drove home the harsh reality that she didn’t belong. She was a friend. Not a girlfriend. Not a future daughter-in-law. Just some girl who needed to cash in on the kindness of a family that wasn’t hers. And she loathed being that person.

  Sadness filled her. She didn’t get to spend a lot of Christmases with her parents, but the ones she did get were wonderful. Her father would sit near the tree and play Santa, handing out the gifts one by one, making them take turns opening them.

  She gripped her coffee mug tighter, taking comfort from the heat seeping through the ceramic. She brought it to her lips and took a sip, smiling at how perfectly happy Tanner’s family seemed. Would she ever have a family like this someday? She wanted it, more than anything.

  “Juliana, come, join us.” Debbie waved at her to come into the living room. “There are a couple of gifts over here with your name on them.”

  She nearly choked on her coffee. Who had bought her gifts? She glanced at Tanner, who patted the spot beside him on the couch. Taking a deep breath, she went over. His mom handed her a small box wrapped in shimmering red paper. The tag read: To Jules, From Xander. Carefully opening it, she looked inside the box to find a plastic pile of fake poop. She held it up and stared at Xander.

  “You’ve never given a shit, so I figured I’d give you some to at least have.” He shrugged. “That way, you can tell people you’re full of shit, but you don’t actually give a shit.”

  She shook her head and smiled. “Thanks, Xander.”

  “You’re a dick.” Tanner leaned over the coffee table and punched him in the arm. “Sorry, Jules.”

  “Don’t be. It’s actually kinda funny.”

  “Alexander.” His mom frowned. “I hope you bought her a real gift in addition to that awful fake one.”

  Xander kissed his mom on the cheek. “Don’t worry, I did.”

  “Here, this one’s from me.” Tanner held out a thin, flat box.

  It was feather light. She smiled and gently tore into the wrapping paper. She lifted the lid and inside was a single sheet of paper—a glossy advertisement that showcased the lamp she’d admired at the furniture store. She ran her fingers over the picture and looked up, wide eyed. “Tanner…this is…” It was too much. She knew the hefty price tag on this lamp. “I can’t believe you remembered.”

  He grinned. “Of course I did. I have delivery scheduled for after the first of the year, once we’re back on campus. But if that doesn’t work for you, I’m sure you can call them and set something else up.”

  “Wow. Thank you so much. I love it.”

  He let out a breath, almost like he was worried she wouldn’t like his gift. How could she not? The day they spent furniture shopping rushed through her mind, like it had so many times before, warming her heart. Every moment she’d spent with Tanner was special to her, but that day was her favorite.

  The morning was filled with the exchange of gifts, laughter, squeals of excitement, and even a few tears when Mrs. Collins opened the professional photo of the three boys. It was a stunning picture. During one of their shopping trips, Tanner and Xander had helped her pick out gifts for their parents, and they were well received. Thankfully.

  When all the presents were unwrapped and the colorful paper covered the floor, Juliana stood and moved out of the way. She planned to help clean up, but for the moment she was enjoying watching everyone. They had an amazing way of interacting, and there was no doubt they were a close-knit family who loved one another very much.

  A sense of ease filled her. This is what a family was supposed to be. This is what her family had been before her parents died.

  Tanner came over and stood beside her. “This is my other gift to you.”

  “What is?” She didn’t see him holding anything.

  “That.” He nodded toward the living room where his two brothers were wadding up paper and tossing it at each other, occasionally hitting their parents with it, too. “I know the one thing you want more than anything else is a family. So that’s my gift to you. My family is your family, Jules.” She opened her mouth to speak, but he held up his hand to silence her. “Whether we’re together or not, it doesn’t matter. My parents love you. My brothers love you. I love you.”

  She swore her heart stopped. This was her chance. She could tell him she loved him, too, that she missed him and wanted to be with him, but before she had the chance, he was speaking again.

  “You’ll always be welcome here. No matter what.”

  She wanted this. All of it. And she wanted it with Tanner. It was a want so severe, so ingrained in every nerve of her body, she couldn’t shake it. All she had to do was tell him. Tell him how much she loved him, how badly she missed him, how she wanted to move past all the hurt to have a future with him.

  A small whimper escaped, and she clamped her lips shut to stop another one. Tears burned her eyes, and she fought to keep them at bay, but it was a losing battle. The first tear slid down her cheek, and she hastily wiped it away. She turned to look at him, and he gave her a sexy, boyish smile that never failed to make her knees weak and her heart race. Her gaze landed on his dimple then lowered to his mouth. She licked her lips, her eyes gravitating back up to his; that familiar desire burned bright in them.

  “No crying allowed.” He nudged her shoulder with his. “This is supposed to be a happy day.”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Don’t worry. These are happy tears.” She placed a kiss to his cheek, lingering much longer than necessary. His skin was soft and warm beneath h
er lips.

  He slid his arm around her waist and hugged her, his mouth near her ear. “Merry Christmas, Jules.”

  Chapter Forty

  Juliana had been unusually quiet through dinner and during their annual viewing of A Christmas Story. She sat in the family room, watching Ryder and Xander play the new video game they’d gotten. And Tanner watched her. She had yet to talk to him even though she said she wanted to, and impatience thrummed inside of him.

  She glanced in his direction and smiled. Having her here with him and his family for Christmas was the best gift he could’ve asked for. She stood and walked up to him, taking his hand and lacing their fingers. “I’ve got something for you.”

  He grinned. “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah, but it’s something I have to give you in private. Can we go upstairs?”

  He raised a brow. “Well then. Are you sure you want to give me that kind of gift with my parents and brothers in the house?”

  She nudged him and laughed. “It’s not that kind of gift.”

  “Damn.” Winking, he tugged on her hand. “Come on.” He led her up to his room and closed the door. Nervous anticipation thickened his veins and made it hard for him to take a deep breath. Was she finally going to tell him what was going on?

  She had her hands clasped in front of her, twisting them. Then she sat on his bed. Hard lust punched him in the gut at the sight of her in his room. On his bed. She patted the spot next to her. “Sit with me?”

  On the bed? Together? That couldn’t possibly lead to trouble. He sat down next to her. “You’re starting to scare me. What’s going on?”

  “I’ve been thinking a lot lately, even before I came here, but more so since being here…” She sighed. “I love you, Tanner. No matter what’s happened, no matter how hard I try to get over you, I can’t.” She shook her head as if emphasizing her point. “I don’t want to.”

  He was stunned. Frozen. Was she saying what he thought she was? His heart jackhammered against his rib cage, forcing him to take several shallow breaths before he could inhale deeply.

  Tucking one leg under her, she twisted toward him and took his hands in hers. “I’ve forgiven you for what happened, and now I want to try to move past it. Together.” She hung her head, then glanced up at him. “If you want to.”

  He laughed. “If I want to? Did you really just say that?”

  Her eyes widened. “I just meant—” She started to pull back. He held her hands tighter, refusing to let her get away again.

  “God, Jules. Do you have any idea how—?”

  “Hey, you two got your clothes on?” Xander knocked on the door.

  Tanner sighed with frustration. “Not now, Xander.”

  “Yes. Now.” Xander walked in, hand over his eyes like he was afraid he’d see something he didn’t want to. “I’m moving my hand, so if you don’t want me to see your girlfriend naked, you’d better speak up now.”

  “I’m not naked,” Jules said, humor in her tone.

  “Oh, good. Not that I’d mind seeing that show, but y’know.” He grinned.

  Tanner scowled. “What do you want?” His brother always did have the shittiest timing.

  “I have a last-minute gift for you two.” Xander wedged himself in between Tanner and Jules, nudging them apart with his hips.

  “Can’t this wait? Jules and I were kind of in the middle of something.” Tanner moved over so he wasn’t sitting so close to his brother. He was tempted to forcefully remove him from his room.

  “Trust me, you want this.” Xander pulled out his cell phone and turned his attention to Jules. “Remember when I said I was going to prove that Tanner didn’t cheat on you?”

  She nodded.

  Tanner’s stomach clenched, and he risked a glance at Jules.

  “Well, here you go.” He tapped the screen on his cell phone then turned up the volume.

  The room was filled with a loud rustling and then a male voice Tanner didn’t recognize. “C’mon, tell me.”

  The sound of Rebecca’s giggles was like an annoying fly that wouldn’t go away no matter how many times you swatted at it.

  There was a dramatic sigh. “My ex-roommate, Juliana. God, even her name pisses me off. She stole the guy I’d been seeing. And no one fucks with me like that. But I got even with her.” More giggling. “I drugged her boyfriend.”

  Juliana gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Xander hushed her. Tanner’s head spun, and his ears rang. What the fuck?

  “Drugged her how?” the guy asked.

  “He was at a party. Alone. Little Miss Perfect had left, and Tanner was so sad. Talk about fucking pathetic. When he was downing shots, I slipped a roofie in his beer. Do you know how easy that shit is to get?” Rebecca laughed.

  Tanner felt all the color drain from his face. That explained why he hadn’t felt good that night, and why he hadn’t remembered a damn thing about what happened. Acid churned in his gut.

  “Then I climbed into bed with him and staged selfies of us having sex. I even took his cell phone and sent myself a text message to make it look like he’d called me for a booty call. I sent everything to Juliana. Dumb bitch bought it and dumped his ass.”

  Tanner leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees and covering his face with his hands. The selfies. The text messages. They were all faked.

  “But that’s not even the best part,” Rebecca continued. “Her ex had cheated on her, too, so this must’ve been—”

  “Turn it off.” Juliana stood, her arms wrapped around her midsection like she was in physical pain. “I said turn it off!”

  “Jules, honey.” Tanner was by her side in an instant, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her against him. He could only imagine what other rotten things Rebecca had said.

  Xander turned it off then stood. “I didn’t mean to upset you, I just thought you both deserved to know the truth.”

  “Where did you get that?” Tanner asked. “How did you get her to confess?”

  He grinned, clearly very proud of himself. “Lucky for you, people like me. I made nice with Adam, who happens to be in charge of this year’s pledge class. I offered up a grand to the first one who could get Rebecca to confess she never had sex with Tanner.”

  Leave it to Xander to pull off the impossible. God, that recording. It changed everything.

  “How long have you had that?” Jules asked, her voice weak and shaky. “Did you have that when you called me and begged me to come here? Did you know all of this then? Is that why you said you needed me to come here?”

  “No. I just got this three nights ago.” Xander took a step toward her then stopped. “I didn’t share it sooner because you two seemed to be getting along, and I didn’t think it would matter. I mean, if you two could work things out on your own, you wouldn’t need this.” He held up his cell phone.

  Dropping his arm from Jules, Tanner lunged at Xander, flinging his arms around his brother’s neck. “Thank you.”

  Xander froze for a second then shoved Tanner away. “What the fuck, man? Save that shit for Jules.” He laughed.

  “I owe you one.”

  “Damn fucking right you do.” Xander went to the door, and Tanner followed, intent on closing and locking it so he and Jules could have some privacy. “Get your girl, bro, and try not to lose her again.” With that, Xander left.

  “Tanner, I am so sorry. This whole time, you’ve been telling me the truth, and I didn’t believe you.” Her voice cracked. “God, the things I said to you. The way I treated you. I am so, so sorry.”

  He slowly turned to face her. Her eyes were wet with unshed tears. “Jules, I—”

  “Wait.” She held up her hands.

  He clamped his mouth closed.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t trust you.” She slowly walked toward him. “I’m sorry I doubted you and broke your heart. I—”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “Shh. Please, I need to say this.” He nodded for her to continue. She blew out a brea
th and wiped at her tear-stained cheeks. “All that stuff we just heard, none of it matters. Not to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you didn’t have sex with her, but even if Xander hadn’t barged in here with that confession, it wouldn’t have changed my mind because I came up here to tell you that I love you, Tanner. More than anything else in this world, and I want to give us another—”

  He didn’t give her a chance to finish. He took her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. The fire in his veins returned with a vengeance, his body burning from the inside out at the feel of her lips, of her tongue dueling with his. Her soft moans echoed through his mind, driving him mad with the need for more. He slid his hands down her back and yanked her tightly to him, their mouths never once parting.

  She slipped her hands up his shirt and chest, and over his shoulders, tugging it until he ripped it off over his head. Then he slowly undressed her. “I need you, Jules.” It was a need bordering on madness. He nipped at her jaw, kissing down the column of her neck.

  “I need you, too.” She tilted her head. “Mmm, that feels good.”

  His cock jerked, and he groaned. God, he wanted her so damn bad. Beneath her jeans, she wore a pair of black lace panties. Sweet Lord. He sucked in a sharp breath. “You’re so beautiful.” He kissed her again, harder and deeper than before.

  “Tanner…stop…I…”

  He pulled back enough to look her in the eyes. “What?”

  “Why are you still dressed?” Frustration laced her words as she reached for the zipper on his pants.

  He laughed. “I’ve missed you.”

  “Bet I’ve missed you more.” Her smile was a pure challenge, and excitement swelled inside him.

  He guided her forward until her back was against the door, and then he put his palm flat on it above her head. “You throwing down with me, Shea?”

  She looked up at him under her lashes, and his chest tightened. This was it. This was the moment he finally got her back. “Yeah, I am.” She grinned.

  He lowered his head so their faces were inches apart. “Name your terms.”