Forbid Me

by M. Robinson

  He shut his eyes and bowed his head as soon as the words left my mouth and he wasn’t allowed to hide from me.

  Not after all this.

  “You know what? You’re right. I should grow up and explore new things. It’s not fair to you. I’ll make sure to go home and hang out with boys my own age.”

  He instantly opened his eyes, peering up at me through his lashes, his resolve breaking.

  “You know… experience age appropriate things, because it’s not wrong if it’s two sixteen-year-olds being together and fucking, it’s only wrong if it’s you and I. Did I get it right? Do I understand the rules now? I’m just a kid so it might take me a little while.”

  “Lily...” he rasped. “Don’t.”

  I stormed off the bed, grabbing my clothes and throwing them in my bag.

  “Fuck…” he breathed out.

  “Don’t do what? What am I not supposed to do? I’m only sixteen years old and all. I’m immature. I can’t have adult feelings and emotions. I’m your best friend’s baby sister, that’s all. I don’t have to be told twice that I’m not wanted.”

  “You’re acting like a goddamn child.”

  “Who cares! It’s how you see me anyway! It’s not going to change anything! I’m giving you what you want! If this is how you see me, then this is how I’ll act!”

  “That’s not what I’m saying. You’re twisting my words. I want you more than anything and that is so fucking wrong. You are not ready to have sex with me or anyone else for that matter. That much you proved last night, sweet girl. You and I should not have happened, Lily, I’ve been selfish this far, but I have to take a step back,” he roughly grabbed my arm, turning me to face him.

  I pushed him. I pushed him as hard as I could. His head jerking back from my reaction.

  “Don’t touch me! You never get to touch me again!”

  “Kid…”

  “Exactly.”

  We both faced off, neither one of us backing down.

  “I’ll be sure to tell Lucas and my parents you said hi since they’re so damn important to you.”

  I scoffed. “What the fuck, Lily?”

  I looked at him one more time, grabbed my bag…

  And left.

  I just needed a break.

  Just one goddamn minute to myself.

  I wanted to catch my bearings and compose my thoughts. I had to step away from the situation before it escalated to the point of no return. I couldn’t control my temper when it came to Lily. I think that’s why she loved to provoke me in the first place. Watching her with those fuckers made my blood boil just thinking about it. I don’t know what else I could do to make this right. I was out of answers, out of options. I couldn’t fucking think straight. I took a walk, trying to figure out what I could do for her to let me back in, mentally chastising myself that I had done this to us. There was no going back. I couldn’t change the past knowing that ship had sailed.

  All I could create was a future.

  I walked around her neighborhood aimlessly, knowing it wasn’t going to go over well when I walked back into her house. I took a deep breath before turning the knob on her front door. It wouldn’t turn.

  That little shit.

  I grabbed my keys from my pocket and unlocked the door. She was nowhere to be found when I walked in, but I could hear her shuffling around her room as I walked back there.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” I roared as I watched her place all my stuff in a bag on her bed.

  She gasped and turned around with her hand over her heart. “How the hell do you keep getting into my house?”

  I held out the key in front of me. Her eyes widened, immediately reaching for it. She wasn’t fast enough. I placed that bitch back into my pocket.

  “You made a key? Give it to me!”

  I folded my arms over my chest and leaned my shoulder into the door frame. “Come and get it.”

  “Un-fucking-believe-able.”

  “I’ve been called worse, baby.”

  She shook her head, going right back to throwing my shit into a bag.

  “Do you honestly think that’s going to work?” I asked with an arrogant tone. “I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”

  She grabbed the vase from the nightstand, aiming it right at me. I cocked my head to the side daring her to do it. She bit her lip, placing the vase back on the nightstand.

  “Good girl.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “How many times do I have to watch you walk away from me? Huh? How many damn times?”

  “You know the definition of a break, right? I went for a damn walk, Lily.”

  “I don’t care what you did. You turned your back on me, again! Again your back greeted me.”

  “You can think what you want, but I did no such thing. Things were escalating quickly so I left before it got out of hand.”

  “Who’s acting like a child now?”

  “By my definition… you are.”

  “Oh my God! I didn’t do anything wrong tonight. You totally blew a dumb situation out of proportion.”

  “Is that what I did?” I mocked.

  “Stop! Stop doing that!”

  “Lillian, let me remind you to watch your damn tone when you speak to me. I’m standing right in front of you. Right fucking here!”

  “Ugh! You’re so frustrating… I don’t want you here anymore. Now, I’m the one that needs a break.”

  “I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom,” I simply stated.

  “This isn’t your house! I’m not asking you. I’m telling you.”

  “I’m not leaving,” I breathed out.

  “Fine,” she sneered, going straight to her closet. She tore a few things off the hangers and threw the contents into another bag. “I’ll leave.”

  I shook my head, walking to the kitchen to grab a cold beer from the fridge. I gulped it down in three swigs before opening another. She stormed out into the living room, her bag over her shoulder.

  “You know what…”

  “What, baby?”

  “You’re a real piece of work, you dick.”

  She turned and slammed the door behind her. I sat at the dining room table, taking another swig of my beer.

  Waiting.

  He had a lot of nerve.

  Making a key to my house.

  Walking back in like he had done nothing wrong in the first place.

  Telling me that he wasn’t leaving and neither was I… well I showed him.

  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t shocked as shit that he was letting me leave. I didn’t want to leave my house, but what other choice did I have? I would go to Tracey’s. I got in my truck, throwing my bag in the passenger seat. I took a long, deep breath, putting my key in the ignition.

  I turned it.

  “What the fuck?”

  I turned it again.

  Nothing…

  I kept it turned with my foot on the brake.

  Nothing…

  “What. The. Fuck?” I shouted to myself, slamming my hands against the steering wheel. This was the last thing I needed. I hated knowing I had to walk in there and ask him for help. My truck never gave me any problems. I grabbed the keys and walked back to my front door.

  “My truck—”

  I stopped dead in my tracks.

  There was Jacob, leaned back in the chair, his muscular arms over his firm solid chest stretching out the sleeves of his shirt with his ankle crossed over his knee, wearing nothing but a cocky grin. Sitting pretty right next to him on the dining room table was...

  My. Truck. Battery.

  “You can’t do this!”

  “I believe I just did, Lily.”

  “So this is what you’re going to do for the rest of our lives? Leave when you want but when I try to, you’re going to take my truck apart?”

  “Look what it’s done for your perspective. You’re picturing our future together. That’s a step in the right direction.”

  I shook my head, un-amused.<
br />
  “You want this to be over? All you have to do is say you’re sorry. It’s that simple. Apologize for being a little shit.” He grinned.

  “I will do no such thing. I didn’t do anything wrong. You need to say you’re sorry,” I argued.

  “I’m sorry.”

  My eyes widened, surprised that it was that easy.

  “I’m sorry that I didn’t beat the living shit out of those guys.” He stood. “I’m sorry that I have more respect for you, not to take out my frustration on their fucking faces.” He stepped toward me. “I’m sorry that you’re so damn beautiful that men can’t help themselves.” Another step. “I’m sorry for breaking your perfect heart, time and time again.” Another step. “I’m sorry that you can’t get past our history and look forward to our future.” Last step. “But most of all.” He placed his mouth against my lips.

  “I’m sorry that I’m going to have to teach you a lesson for being such a bad girl.”

  He leaned forward catching me by my waist, picking me up and throwing me over his muscular shoulder like a damn rag doll. My ass was right in his face. He had a strong hold around the back of my knees to keep me from thrashing around. He used his hand like a vise on my wrists to keep me from fighting him.

  “What are you doing?” I shrieked, stunned by the turn of events.

  I could feel him smiling against my leg and then he smacked my ass.

  Hard.

  “Ouch! What the fuck?”

  He spanked me harder two more times as he walked. “That was for your mouth,” he said, spanking me again. “That was for your flirting.” He spanked me three times. I thrashed on his shoulder, trying to break free, but his hold was too strong.

  “That was for being a stubborn little shit and not admitting when you’re wrong. For denying me what is mine. Lastly, for being so fucking careless and putting your life in danger,” he scolded, smacking me three more times so hard it echoed off the walls.

  “Oh my God! Stop! I’m not going to be able to sit for days!” I begged, with my ass burning from the impact of his strong hand.

  “That’s the point.” He spanked me again, not as hard but still making me jolt.

  “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” I shouted for mercy.

  And the bastard fucking chuckled.

  It took everything inside me not to tell him off, but I knew it wouldn’t be in my best interest. He gently placed me on the dining room table next to the truck battery. I hissed upon contact, my ass not welcoming the hard surface.

  “Relax,” he encouraged as I gave him a death stare, biting my tongue from saying something I would regret.

  “What, baby?” he coaxed. “I’ll rub that sweet ass, make it better.”

  I wanted to say he would be lucky if he ever saw me naked again.

  “If you act like a child, Lily, I’m going to treat you like one.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him and he smiled. He started to unbutton my blouse. “I’m going to tell you how it’s going to go, sweet girl.” He slid it off my shoulders. “You’re going to be a good girl.” He took it off and threw it on the table. “You’re going to sit here,” he paused. “Just like this.” He unclasped my bra, throwing that on the table as well. “You’re going to stop with the bullshit of the past.” He unbuttoned my jean skirt.

  “You’re going to forgive me.” He glided it down my legs, tossing it in the pile with the rest of my clothes. “You’re going to stop flirting with boys who barely know how to stroke their own cocks before I go to fucking jail.” He kissed the tip of my nose and got down on his knees, peering up at me with a look of lust, skimming my panties down my thighs.

  “Lastly, Kid, you’re going to tell me.” He kissed my thigh.

  “That you love me.”

  My. Heart. Dropped.

  “I will reward you with burying my face into your sweet pussy and make you come down my beard.”

  “Jacob…”

  “Say it, Lillian,” I ordered. “We both know you want to. I can see it all over your pretty face, especially now. You’re mine. Only mine. Always been mine, always will be mine. Say what I need to hear.”

  I was done with the bullshit and I was laying down the law. I won’t pretend that I didn’t love spanking her ass and that my cock wasn’t throbbing, just waiting to sink balls deep into home. Her intense, conflicting stare never left mine. She’d been fighting an internal battle within herself. It didn’t matter.

  I would win.

  Her love for me…

  Would conquer.

  I gripped her thighs and dragged her closer to the edge of the table, giving her an incentive, kneading her thighs, waiting for her to say the three words that would put us both out of our misery.

  “I love you, Lillian Michelle Ryder. I love you more than anything in this world. I promise you that I will never leave your side and I will never lie to you again. I will never hurt you again. I’m here for the long run. No matter what.”

  She bit her lip with a look of pain.

  “Please, Kid…” I breathed out. “Trust me.”

  She took a deep breath and said,

  “I love you.”

  Austin took off. Dropped out of college, and no one had heard from him since.

  Lucas was adapting to fatherhood with his son Mason, and the co-parenting situation was working great for them.

  Dylan was looking into the police academy. He wanted to join Special Ops.

  Alex was officially with Cole and for the most part, seemed really happy.

  Me? Well, I was in fucking hell.

  It had been three months since I last saw or spoke to Lily. Not from lack of trying. She wouldn’t answer my calls or return any of my text messages.

  Nothing.

  It was like she fell off the face of the earth. The only reason I knew what was going on with her was because of Lucas. He kept me somewhat updated without even knowing that he was doing so. This was not what I wanted, but definitely what I needed…

  I hated that more than anything.

  I drowned myself in school and applications for law school. I even tried to go on countless dates that never led to anything, other than me counting down the minutes till I could go home. At least there I could wallow in my own personal misery that I had no one to blame but myself.

  I was fucking miserable.

  I missed her ridiculously contagious laugh. I missed her metaphors that I barely ever understood. I missed her made up words that only made sense in her head. I missed her infectious smile. I missed her dark brown eyes that held more expression than any other person I knew.

  I. Missed. Her. All of her.

  The list was endless.

  I listened to every song that reminded me of her on my iPod. I had listened to them so damn much I was starting to memorize every word. You'd think I was a goddamn girl with a broken heart, not a fucking grown ass man.

  Damn, I sounded like a pussy.

  I grabbed the picture I hid in my drawer, looking at it as I lay on my bed. It was the one I took of her at the zoo when we were in Ohio. She was holding the lion cub in her arms, looking at him with so much happiness and love. It was my favorite part of our weekend together. She didn’t stop talking about that aquarium for the rest of the day. I impulsively reached for my phone to text her, hoping like hell she would finally answer.

  Jacob: You can’t ignore me forever, Kid.

  I threw my phone on the bed and went to take a shower. I didn’t expect her to text me back, Lily was a stubborn little shit. I threw my towel on my desk, putting on a pair of gym shorts when my phone pinged with a text message. My eyebrows lowered as I grabbed it off the bed still not expecting it to be Lily.

  Lily: Watch me.

  I chuckled, I couldn’t help it. I was thrilled she actually answered me. I wouldn’t have cared if she replied telling me to go fuck myself. The point was that she finally responded.

  Jacob: I miss you.

  Lily: Good for you.

  I sighed.

/>   Jacob: Kid…

  Lily: Jacob…

  I shook my head.

  Jacob: What are you doing?

  Lily: I’m on a date.

  My head jerked back. I had to read the text several times before I processed what the fuck she said.

  Lily: With this guy I’m seeing and we’re about to watch 91/2 Weeks. Peace out.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I roared out loud to myself.

  Jacob: Where are you?

  I waited for what felt like forever with no response.

  Jacob: Do not fuck with me. Where. Are. You?”

  Still no answer.

  I paced around my room, raking my hands through my hair, wanting to rip it out of my damn head. I looked at her picture one last time, changed my clothes, grabbed my phone and keys and took the next flight out. I was lucky enough to find an immediate flight and arrive three hours later. It was almost eleven pm when I paid the cab driver at the end of her driveway. As I walked up to the porch steps, I tried to come up with an excuse to tell her parents as to why I was there in the first place.

  Her head jerked back and her eyes widened when she opened the front door.

  “What are you doing here?”

  I barged inside ready to lay the motherfucker out.

  “Where is he?” I gritted out low enough to where her parents couldn’t hear me.

  She cocked her head to the side and looked at me like I was crazy. “Where’s who?”

  I leaned in toward her face. “Don’t fuck with me, Lillian,” I warned. “Where. Is. He?”

  “If you’re referring to my date… you just missed him. Or are you referring to my brother that you love so much?” she spewed. “Because he doesn’t live here anymore as you probably know.”

  I took a deep breath, stepping away from her, finally being able to relax. “Where are your parents?”

  “My mom has another round of chemo this weekend. They’re staying at the hospital.”

  “Did your parents know that fucker was here?” I asked, trying to ignore all the images of them being alone together.

  “Do my parents know you’re here?” she sarcastically stated with a wide smile, shutting the door and walking away from me.

  It was then that I realized what I had just done. It was like I had been moving on autopilot for the last few hours, losing all sense of reason. Exactly the way it always was when it came to her.