Forbid Me

by M. Robinson

  His face frowned with confusion. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

  “Oh my God, do I have to spell it out for you? You told me you loved me because my mom died. I was falling apart in front of you and you told me you loved me to only make me feel better. I never wanted it to be that way. I wanted you to mean it the first time you said it to me, not because you felt bad for me.”

  He shook his head, and I couldn’t get a good look at his face before he lifted me off the counter, carrying me as if I weighed nothing to the couch. He sat us down together, making me straddle his lap and grabbing my chin so that I would look at him.

  “That’s what you think?” he asked, looking staggered that I could even think that.

  “How do you expect me not to think that? You looked at me with pity, not with love,” I countered.

  “You know me, Kid. You know me better than that.”

  “I thought I did. I hoped I did. It was just too much, Jacob. You lied to me for a whole year, making me think that you fell in love with someone else. Do you have any idea what that did to me? How that made me feel? Then you bring her and flaunt her in my face? That’s just cruel, even if I knew the truth. What if I didn’t?”

  “I wanted you to hate me.” He sighed his expression fill with nothing but remorse.

  “I did,” I paused to let my words sink in. “But I also loved you. I never stopped loving you, and I hated you more for that. Then my mom took a turn for the worse and then her funeral… it was one thing after another. I never expected you to say it to me that day. Not like that. Not ever like that. That’s not the way I wanted it, I never wanted to look back and remember that you told me you loved me for the first time the day of my mom’s funeral because you pitied—”

  “I love you.”

  My lips parted and my eyebrows rose. I wasn’t expecting that.

  “I. Love. You,” he repeated with so much conviction.

  I didn’t know what to say. I barely knew what to feel.

  “That day was one of the worst days of my life, Lily. I had never seen you so lost, so empty. It scared the living shit out of me. I didn’t pity you, sweet girl. I had wanted to say it for years. Having you break down, crumbling to pieces in my arms, feeling your pain. I had to say it to you at that moment. I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

  Looking deep into his green eyes, I could see his truths. I took in his words, each and every one of them since my mom’s prognosis.

  “I love you, too. Of course, you already know that, though,” I half-laughed and so did he.

  I bit my lip suddenly nervous. Jacob reached over and eased it out of my mouth, tracing it back and forth with his thumb. I don’t know what came over me, but I started to trace his thumb with the tip of my tongue. His eyes dilated, watching me with a predatory gleam in his eyes. I sucked it into my mouth, gently biting down on it. He let his thumb linger for a few seconds, not breaking our eye contact as I twirled my tongue around it, loving the effect I had on him.

  He suddenly pulled it out of my mouth, reaching around and roughly gripping the back of my neck. My breath hitched as his mouth collided with mine.

  Kissing Lily after all that time was like coming home.

  She was my home.

  So pure, so innocent, so angelic.

  So mine.

  She possessed my thoughts.

  She owned my heart.

  She fueled my wants and desires.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful,” I groaned, wanting to claim every inch of her body.

  I touched her face, her lips, her neck, stopping once I reached her heart. It was pounding profusely, beating rapidly against my fingers.

  “It’s yours.” She reached for the hem of her shirt and lifted it over her head, throwing it on the floor beside us. “I’m yours. Always.”

  “Lil—”

  “Please, Jacob, don’t make me beg.”

  I growled, kissing her fervently and lifting her off the couch. I kicked open my bedroom door and laid her body down on the bed, never breaking our connection. I took off her bra, tossed it aside and her panties quickly followed, leaving her completely naked for me. I leaned back to take in her beautiful body, touching her soft silky skin. She had the softest fucking skin I had ever felt.

  “I love you. I love you so damn much,” I expressed again, wanting to brand it in her heart and soul.

  “Prove it to me,” she panted. Ready for whatever I had planned to do to her. I peered up at her face and all I could see was yearning in a way that had never been there before.

  “Make love to me,” she pleaded in a raspy tone. “I belong to you. I’ve always belonged to you. Please, Jacob—”

  “Shhh…” I leaned in, whispering against her lips. “Let me take care of you. I don’t want to hurt you.” I kissed her one last time before I made my way down her body, kissing and softly licking every inch of her skin.

  “Jacob,” she murmured, her body shuddering as I brought her pussy to the edge of the bed. I gently kissed around her thighs, blowing air the closer I got to where she wanted me the most. My hands gripped her thighs as I lightly pecked her clit, spreading soft kisses all around her mound. Her hands instantly went into my hair. I opened her wider, lightly kissing and licking all around her heat. I could already taste her on my tongue. Her breathing escalated as I took her clit into my mouth, moving my head in a side-to-side motion.

  I never took my eyes off her as I watched her grasp the sheets so fucking hard from her climax building higher and higher. That’s when I eased my finger inside, she was so fucking wet. I tried to push a second finger in, wanting to stretch her as much as I could. Knowing it didn’t matter what I did, it was still going to be painful for her. I could feel her getting close when her hips started moving on their own against my fingers and tongue.

  “That’s it, baby, fuck my face like you love.” Not a minute later I tasted her climax, and I didn’t stop until she was shattering above me, holding her legs down and begging me to stop. I stood, and with hooded eyes she watched me undress. I opened my nightstand and grabbed a condom.

  “You don’t need that. I’m on the pill. It regulates my period. Have you been tested?”

  I crawled my way up her body, positioning myself at her entrance.

  “I’m clean, I’ve always used a condom.”

  She beamed.

  “Tell me if I’m hurting you.”

  She nodded, biting her bottom lip as I gently pushed in, the feel of her wrapped around me, inch by inch, was immediate and almost too much to bear. I could tell I was hurting her by the look on her face. I reached down and rubbed her already sensitive nub, her breathing hitched and her lips parted. Making her pussy much fucking tighter.

  “Are you okay?” I thrust in a little more.

  “Mmm…” was all she could reply.

  “I’m almost there. Fuck, baby, you’re so fucking tight.”

  “I’m sorry,” she breathed out.

  I laughed against her lips. “You’re mine. Forever mine.”

  I had never been with a virgin before, never gone unprotected either. The fact that I was experiencing it with Lily was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

  She was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

  I took a moment when I was fully inside of her, leaning back to take a good look at her, wanting to remember her just this way, always. Her long silky brown hair spread all over my sheets, the way her cheeks were slightly flushed and how the blush crept down to her neck, how her lips were swollen from my touch and her serene eyes glazed over.

  So beautiful.

  So fucking beautiful.

  So fucking mine.

  I placed a soft kiss on the pulse on her neck, loving the feel of it beating against my lips. Her dark brown eyes watched me adoringly as I took what I needed.

  What she gave.

  I peered up at her and she shyly smiled while I kissed my way down to her breasts, taking her perfect round nipple into my
mouth, making her moan.

  I fucking loved it when she moaned. It made my cock twitch inside her.

  “Jacob, come up here. I want to feel all your weight on me.”

  I placed my body completely on hers, like I knew she loved, caging her in with my arms around her head so that my hands could caress her face. My torso touching her chest and my legs firmly locked beside hers. Every time I thrust in she could feel the mass of my body movement, inclining her a little higher each time. I softly kissed her, taking my time with each stroke of my tongue as it weaved with hers. Savoring the velvety feel of my mouth claiming hers, thrusting in and out of her tight wet core a few times before I pulled away needing to look into her eyes again. I loved seeing every emotion I felt through her gaze. It mirrored every feeling that was displayed inside of me, to a degree I never quite understood, but I didn’t care because it was there.

  It was for me.

  Just. For. Me.

  My thumb brushed against her cheek, and she smiled as I kissed the tip of her nose, thrusting a little faster. I positioned my knee a little higher and her leg inclined with mine. Her breathing elevated, and I knew I was hitting her sweet spot better from that angle.

  “Does that feel good?”

  “Yes… it still stings, but it feels good.”

  I reached down and played with her clit again.

  “Yes… that’s… that’s so much better… ah...”

  I gently grabbed the back of her neck to keep our eyes locked. My forehead hovered above hers as we caught our breaths, trying to find our perfect rhythm.

  “Don’t close your eyes.”

  She nodded, panting profusely, her heart pounding against mine. Her body started to tremble, and I brought her lips to meet mine, pushing my tongue into her eager, awaiting mouth.

  “Say it,” I growled in between kissing her.

  “Jacob,” she breathed out, and I swear my cock got harder.

  Our mouths parted and now we were both panting uncontrollably, desperately trying to cling onto every sensation of our skin on skin contact. I felt myself start to come apart and she was right there with me.

  “I love you.” I found myself saying before I even gave it any thought.

  “Jacob, Jacob, Jacob,” she repeated over and over, climaxing all down my shaft and taking me right over with her. I shook with my release and passionately claimed her mouth once again.

  Mine.

  “Wow, so that’s what the big fuss is about, huh?” I asked as he hovered above me, looking down at me with so much love in his eyes that it made me weak in the knees.

  “No, baby, that’s just with me.”

  I smiled.

  “Did I hurt you?”

  I shook my head, loving the weight of him on top of me. “It hurt a little bit at first, but I knew that was going to happen. That was the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

  “To us, baby. To us.”

  “There’s an us?”

  “There’s always been an us.”

  “Does this mean… I mean are we… do you—”

  “I’m never leaving you again. I love you.”

  My heart soared. It’s everything I ever wanted to hear coming from his lips.

  “Do you mean that?” I needed to hear him say it.

  “You’re mine, Lily.”

  We stayed like that for I don’t know long, but the next thing I knew it was morning and I was wrapped in his arms, both of us still naked. I felt like I had run a fucking marathon. My body sore all over. I moved my leg a little higher, my eyes widening, but Jacob was already awake and staring down at me.

  “How is my friend up already? I played with him last night.”

  “He’s addicted to you like I am.”

  I grinned.

  “Are you sore?”

  I nodded. “I am, but it’s the good kind of sore.”

  He smiled, rubbing the back of my head.

  “What time is it?”

  He looked over at the clock. “Shit. Almost noon. What is it with you and me sleeping in all morning?”

  “That’s what lobsters do,” I simply stated.

  “I love you.”

  I beamed, I couldn’t help it. My heart soared every time I heard it.

  “I don’t want to leave,” I expressed, remembering that I’d leave in three days.

  “I’m coming back with you.”

  “You are?” I asked, sitting up, taking the sheet with me.

  “Lily, I’ve stayed away all these years for a reason. I made both our lives miserable for a reason. I was not supposed to be with you like this, but now that I’ve had you… there’s no going back. I meant what I said last night. You’re fucking mine,” he stated, possession laced in his tone.

  “So where do we go from here?”

  “I have less than a year and I will be finished with law school. We will make it work. I’m coming back with you to talk to Lucas, talk to your dad. Let them know what’s going on. What’s been going on for years, Kid.”

  “Really? You promise?”

  “I won’t lie to you again. I can’t.”

  I jumped on him so fast that if he weren’t sitting up against the headboard we would have fallen back. I straddled his lap, my entire body laying on him, hugging him so tight.

  “You make me so happy!” I sat up, looking at him. “We’re really going to do this? For real this time? All of it?”

  He nodded, gazing at me with adoration and love in his eyes.

  “My dad probably already knows. My mom knew, there’s no way she didn’t tell my dad.”

  “It doesn’t matter. I’ll take care of it. I’ll take care of you, baby.”

  I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly dry. “My brother… Lucas is…”

  “I’ll handle everything. Don’t worry about Lucas, don’t worry about anything. I promise, Lily, everything will be okay from now on. I'll make this right.”

  “I really want to kiss you.” I grinned. “But I have to brush my teeth.”

  He laughed, grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me anyway. We showered together for the first time. He did all sorts of incredible things with his tongue as he backed me up against the tile wall and then again in his bed. We spent the entire day in there, exploring our bodies in ways we never had before. I loved every second of it. Never wanting this moment to end.

  The next three days went by entirely too fast. He showed me around a few places in San Francisco. He was adamant that we couldn’t stay in bed the entire time, even though that’s all I wanted to do. I had turned into a minx, as Jacob called me, but he definitely made up for lost time, spending most of his time inside me. We christened his entire apartment and then some, with him always making sure that I was okay after. It was the sweetest side I had ever seen of him, and it made me wonder how many things I still would learn about him.

  The possibilities were endless.

  I blinked and it was Sunday, but it didn’t matter because Jacob was coming back with me. He was going to drop me off at home first so I could spend some time with my dad and Lucas. He already texted Lucas telling him he wanted to meet up at Alex’s parents restaurant for breakfast the following morning. He wanted to talk to Lucas by himself first. He didn’t want me there. Same thing with my dad, he was going to stop by his office around lunchtime. Talk to both of them, let them know what was going on, and then hopefully by Monday night we would have their blessing.

  We could move forward…

  Together.

  I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. Not so much about my dad, but definitely about Lucas. This would probably be the hardest news to swallow. Jacob said he wanted to be completely honest with both of them, tell them what we had been doing on and off for the last several years. He was over all the lying, and I prayed the truth would set us free. I was prepared for the worst, though, I didn’t want to lose my brother, not after everything we just went through. Him and my dad were all I had left. I couldn’t lose them.

&
nbsp; But for Jacob…

  For Jacob I would.

  I loved him that much.

  I loved him more than anything.

  He rented a car when we got to the airport, saying it would be easier for him to get around. He held my hand the whole ride back to my house, the anxiety and nervousness radiating off of me though Jacob was calm and collected. He didn’t seem to have a care in the world. If anything he looked happier than I had seen him in a long time. The burden of all of our lies about to disappear. It was like he had found peace.

  By the time Jacob pulled into my driveway it was three pm.

  “Everything will be okay, Kid. I promise. Relax. The next time I see you there will be no more secrets. Do you understand me?”

  I nodded because I couldn’t find the words to express how I really felt and it didn’t matter, he already knew.

  He kissed me deeply, grabbing the sides of my face the way I loved.

  “I love you, Lillian. Don’t ever forget that. I’ll call you later, and I’ll see you tomorrow night.

  “Okay.” I bit my lip and got out of the car. Jacob helped me with my bag, kissed me one more time and stepped back into the car.

  “Jacob!” I enthusiastically shouted before he took off.

  He stopped, cocking his head to the side.

  “I love you, too.”

  He smiled. “Bye, sweet girl.”

  I watched him leave and went inside, counting down the hours till tomorrow night.

  I wasn’t nervous.

  For years I thought I would be. It was different now. I had her mom’s blessing and as cheesy as that sounded it made me feel better. I knew her dad had to know something, maybe not to the extent her mom did, but enough to where he wouldn’t be surprised to see me standing in his office. Lucas on the other hand would be a fucking time bomb. There was no question about that, and I didn’t even want to guess how he would react. It didn’t matter. I would take every blow, verbal or physical. I would be coming back for her, with or without his consent.

  I was praying he would understand.

  My parents’ cars weren’t in the driveway. It was still fairly early, so I assumed they were at the farm in town like they were every Sunday since I was a kid. I wanted to surprise them, I hadn’t seen them since the funeral and I knew they were taking it just as hard as everyone else. They were all best friends. I unlocked the door and walked inside my house, leaving my luggage by the door and going into the kitchen. I grabbed a glass of water and made my way up to my parents’ bedroom, needing to grab my social security card and my birth certificate from the safe for some internship applications.