It Is What it Is

by Ivory B.

  While sitting there in deep thought Lucky felt as if she had finally had an epiphany; she now understood clearly the dynamics of her and Los’ relationship. Looking down at her charm bracelet flooded with colorful diamond charms she thought about its price. She thought about the shopping sprees, vacations, the cars she drove and the house she lived in. Did all of this come with a price to pay? Was this the luxury tax Mika spoke of when dealing with men who had money? Mika had warned the girls of a luxury tax you sometimes had to pay with niggaz who had money. You see this tax wasn’t to be paid monetarily no, instead you had to pay with things like yourself respect, your dignity and with heartbreak. It seemed now that every diamond, handbag and whip had a luxury tax on it after all. But Lucky wasn’t willing to pay that tax with her heart, her self-esteem, and her sanity any longer, yes her sanity because Los was driving her completely crazy.

  It was clear to her now that maybe Los and so many other men with long paper held the same sentiment. That the women they were with would have to play their parts and put up with their disloyal and dishonest ways in order to maintain a lifestyle of luxury and status. Well if that’s what Carlos had in mind he was sadly mistaken. Lucky never wanted anything from him but his love. And since she obviously didn’t have that it was so easy for her to walk away from everything else including all the perks that came with being his woman. Fuck that nigga! He can have this shit. He got me fucked up if he thinks I would put up with his hoe ass to live in the lap of luxury. I would rather live in a cardboard box. Lucky knew what she had to do; she had to leave this toxic situation while she still had a chance. She needed to breakaway and she had just the plan she was going to run away.

  Lucky jumped out of the car barely letting it come to a complete stop in front of the house. “Lucky you take it easy, I don’t want you to wor…” is all she heard Steiner say before the car door slammed on him mid sentence. She wasn’t intentionally trying to be rude but she didn’t know how far away Los was and she intended to be long gone by the time he made it home.

  Lucky fumbled with her keys in the lock for a bit her nervousness evident. Steiner pulled off once he saw her disappear inside the house. She knew it was now or never, Los would never let her leave him and as much as her mind was made up now one touch from Carlos could change it. Carlos had some type of hold on her that she couldn’t explain. The type of mind control to make her stay when she really wanted to go, to change her mind about their love when she was certain things were over. That nigga had the power to jedi her mind or do like the Vamps do on True Blood and glamour her. One second she would be leaving him, the next second he would be digging her out; she refused to let that be the case today.

  Lucky took the steps of the grand staircase two at a time. Her heart was beating out of her chest as she reached their bedroom. She ran directly into the closet and grabbed an oversized LV duffle bag stuffing it to capacity with as many clothes she could fit in, mostly comfortable attire; jeans, sweats, fitted tees and extra footwear. “Shit! Where is my sweater?” Lucky cursed under her breath breaking a sweat while frantically grabbing up a handful of undergarments from her drawer. She rushed back into her bedroom and grabbed her Birkin bag dumping all of its contents on the bed. The only thing she took was her license’s stuffing it in her back pocket leaving everything else, even her credit cards. She then dumped her books and Ipad out of her Gucci book bag and placed her undergarments and toiletries inside. Lucky made a mad dash to Carlos’s office and crawled underneath his large dark Cherry wood desk pulling the rug back exposing a safe. She frantically plugged in the combination Los had given her with shaky fingers and opened the safe. Lucky froze looking at the stacks of money that was packaged into individual bricks with plastic covering. There were three bankrolls laid on top of the packaged stacks with rubber bands holding the money together. She grabbed two of the bankrolls not bothering to count them before closing the safe back. A part of her felt some type of way about taking the money being that she didn’t plan on staying with Los any longer. Another part of her felt as if Carlos owed her this if not much more for all the bullshit he’d put her through during their relationship. This wouldn’t hurt him in the least, this was chump change to him but to her it was enough money for a new start. Lucky needed the cash anyways because she had no plans on using any credit or bank cards that would allow him to track her down through the charges.

  She was on her way out of his office when something caught her eye. It was a picture of Los and her smiling and hugging on a sandy white beach in St. Tropez. The good times when I thought my love was all you needed. Lucky’s eyes started to water with the realization that things would never be the same between them. He couldn’t fix this or try and water it down. He had actually went out there and got some random bitch pregnant. A part of her didn’t want to believe that he would hurt her that badly. The other part of her knew the amount of energy it would take to find out whether it was true or not was more than she was willing to give this relationship. She was done; she had nothing left to give Carlos because he had taken it all selfishly. And she refused to give him the last bit of dignity and sanity she had left. Lucky walked over and took the picture off his desk stuffing it into her book bag after wiping away tears that had escaped her eyes.

  Rushing back into the bedroom she zipped up her duffle bag, slipped on her Gucci sneaks, strapped her book bag on both her shoulders and headed down the stairs while nervously dialing for a taxi. “Hello, yes yellow taxi. I need a cab at 1862 Scottsdale Estates Road. How fast can you send a driver? 45 minutes! No I don’t have that type of time. Listen I will pay double the fair and give a really big tip to the driver if you can get someone out here quicker. I really need a ride as soon as possible,” Lucky spoke sounding desperate. “Okay, okay that’s fine, I’ll be waiting,”

  Carlos paced impatiently from one end of the cell to the other like a trapped lion at a zoo. The pit of his stomach was churning with anxiety; something wasn’t right. He could feel it something was off; he needed to check on his other half. Damn what the fuck is taking so long?

  Horowitz was about to explode he hated to be played with. Here it was damn near an hour later and Carlos still wasn’t out of jail. “What’s the problem? Why is it taking so long to process my client?” “Well Sir, we’re checking your client’s prints through the national database for any outstanding warrants. We’re doing our due diligence in making sure we aren’t setting a wanted man free.” “What?!” Horowitz said trying to really comprehend the crock of shit the Captain was trying to feed him. “You and I both know that doesn’t take this long. Let’s not play games you’re stalling. I know all the stall tactics you guys play.” Horowitz wasn’t green to the games law enforcement played. He used to be a state Prosecutor before he switched sides and became a defense attorney with his own private practice. You could say he figured out from early on that crime really does pay. “You won’t get away with the way your department is handling things, I swear to that. Now when is my client going to be released?” Captain Daniel’s could sense Horowitz could be a problem indeed. “Let me check with my processing department.”

  Daniels’ went into his office and phoned Detective Campbell’s desk. “Get in here” He gritted into the receiver. Campbell entered his office minutes later with caution. “Listen, I’ve given you as much time as I possibly could. If you haven’t gotten anything on him through Afac we’re gonna have to spring him. I have his Jew puppets up my ass and I don’t need this heat. I don’t know what type of hard on you got for this guy and I really don’t care. But if nothing came up you’re going to leave this alone.” “Daniels this guy is bad news I know it. This can be the big break that will put us on the map. I know he’s dealing dope, I almost arrested his father for the same thing,” Campbell pleaded with desperation. “Camp if you don’t have a hit on his fingerprints let it go. I can’t deal with the shit storm that will fly my way if the higher ups hear about this,” Daniels said sternly knowing Horowitz wasn’t just talk
ing out his ass when he said he would have the Attorney General on his way down to the police station. He looked like the type to rub elbows and golf with the same judges who ruled over the cases he won. That’s just the way it went in the judicial system the law was never black or white it was always grey covered in money green. “Fine.” I’ll let it go for now Campbell conceded.

  Just when Carlos felt as if he were going to lose it for real his name was called by an officer who came to get him for processing. Carlos stepped out from being processed walking into the lobby stuffing his wallet into his pocket. “Ayo what the fuck took so long?” Los snapped with aggravation. This wasn’t what he paid his lawyer’s big money for. “They claim they had to cross reference your name and prints through Afac to see if you had any outstanding warrants nationally.” “That’s bullshit that don’t take that long, had a nigga thinking something really did come up,” Los mumbled. “Carlos I’ll handle this I swear. These small town hicks have committed so many violations it isn’t even funny, I’ll get the last laugh though believe me.” Los only half listened to his lawyer vent as he scanned the lobby looking for Lucky. He knew Horowitz hated when anyone challenged his authority. Horowitz was gangsta in a whole different way, in the way of the law that is that’s why Los fucked with him.

  “Gotdamn Baby what’s good? You a’ight?” Nice asked as he dapped Los out then gave him a manly hug. “Yeah I’m straight, where Lucky at?” “Oh she left. I had Steiner bring her home over an hour ago.” “You what?! Fuck you do that for?” Los asked on the verge of looking insane. “Fuck you mean what I do that for? She wanted to go home,” Nice asked looking at Los as if he’d lost his mind. Los ignored the look Nice was giving him as he made fast steps towards the exit while dialing Lucky’s phone. “Something’s not right I need to get home,” Los said with uneasiness. “What you mean something not right?” Nice asked looking a little unnerved as he and Los hopped in his car. Nice pushed his Aston Martin damn near to the max all the way to Los’ house hoping Lucky ain’t do no more crazy shit today like hurt herself. He looked over every so often at Los who looked visibly sick as he called Lucky continuously begging her to pick up on the voicemail to no avail.

  Meanwhile, Lucky heard a car horn honk; peeking out the window she noticed it was the cab service. Right as she was grabbing her bags up her phone rang, it was Ty once again. She made a mental note to call Ty once she was settled into wherever she ended up. Lucky was at the front door about to slip out when she heard loud yipping, Peanut Butter came running at her full speed his little paws sliding on the expensive Italian marble floors. PB sniffed and yipped around her ankles, wagging his tail frantically thinking they were going out for a walk. Lucky bent down scooping him up into her arms. “No I can’t take you with me.” It really broke her heart that she would have to leave him behind but she knew lots of hotels had no pet policies “I’ll be back for you, promise.” Lucky said before placing a peck kiss on his adorable face. Right as she went to put him down her phone rung but this time Hubby popped up on the screen and her heart nearly jumped into her throat. Lucky placed Peanut Butter down then tossed her phone to the floor. The phone was nothing but an electronic leash she didn’t need. “Where to Ma’am?” “I don’t know just drive. Get me as far away from this damn house as possible. Hurry up” Lucky said in a panicked tone looking out the back window fearing Los would pull up at any second.

  When Nice pulled up to the front of Carlos' house Los hopped from the passenger seat running up in the house as if it were on fire and Lucky was in there. He ran up the stairs entering their master bedroom calling Lucky’s name and got no answer in return. Los rushed into the closet hoping she was in there giving him the silent treatment. But all he saw was clothes strewn everywhere, it was apparent she had packed up in a hurry leaving the closet in disarray. He ran back into the bedroom and noticed for the first time that her pocketbook and all its contents were scattered over the bed. Los picked up her wallet noticing her credit cards were still there but not her license. Call it intuition but something made him go into his office, he knew upon entering that she’d been in there because a picture was missing from his desk. He opened the small safe under his desk which was one of a few he had throughout the house and noticed Lucky had taken money. Los was like Oprah it didn’t matter how long his paper was he knew how much he had and accounted for everything coming in and out. He remembered counting out loose change and rolling it up into bankrolls placing them on top of the bricks. What was once three bankrolls was only one now. The money didn’t matter he wouldn’t have given her the combination to the safe if he didn’t want her to have the money. What alarmed him was that Lucky was somewhere out here alone, naked; with that type of money on her. He knew niggaz that would do they own family greasy for a lot less than 20g’s and that’s what scared him the most. Carlos called Lucky’s phone one last time. His hopes peaked for just a second when he heard her ringtone in the distance only to have them fade when Nice reached the landing of the stairs with Lucky’s phone in hand. Nice handed Los Lucky’s ringing phone, which had a total of 15 missed calls 5 from Ty, 2 from Keema and the rest from him. “Damn!” Los fumed running his hand down his face in frustration.

  Lucky didn’t know how but she ended up at the airport. After paying her fair she found a small rental car company that let her pay in cash. Once she rented a car she drove aimlessly not knowing exactly where she was going. All she knew was she needed to get away, far away from Los right now. Coming to the exit terminal of the airport there were two signs one read Delaware and the other read Washington DC. She took the exit to Delaware and drove until she couldn’t drive anymore because her eyelids had become too heavy. Lucky pulled into the first hotel she saw which was a Holiday Inn Suite’s. After checking in she cried herself to sleep all the while fighting the urge to run back full speed into the arms of the man who was causing so much strife in her life right now.

  Almost two weeks later Los sat in an oversized arm chair in a smoked filled room. He exhaled sending a large cloud of smoke to sail over his head. Stress and fatigue was evident all over his face; he had just come from looking for Lucky and was feeling dejected when his search came up empty. So here Los sat in a room surrounded by his boys but somehow he still felt alone. He had his team out here with orders to snatch Lucky lil ass up off these streets On-Sight, usually he wouldn’t dare approve of any of his niggaz touching Lucky especially, the young wild ones who’ve been known to get a little overzealous in their quest to earn stripes and impress Los but Lucky’s little disappearing act had pushed him to do it. Los still couldn’t believe she had actually left him. Lucky had threatened to leave plenty of times before but this time she had really made good on her threats leaving him to feel as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. To Los this whole situation was embarrassing as hell; that a nigga of his caliber had no idea where his wifey was. One glance at Los and anyone could see the type of toll Lucky’s absence had taken on him. It had been nearly two weeks and Lucky was still gone. Everyone in the room seemed to be chillin and smoking as if they had not a care in the world while he was stressing and feeling as if his whole world had been turned upside down.

  With Lucky’s absence it seemed as if everyone was going through it in their own relationships. Nice and Ty were at it because Nice believed she knew where Lucky was and wasn’t saying. Even Keema and Jah went through a little spat when he accused her of knowing Lucky’s whereabouts too. It wasn’t until Keema spazed out and broke down crying did Jah believe she really had no idea where Lucky was. Truth be told neither Keema nor Ty knew where she was or had heard anything from her. They were just as worried about Lucky as Los was. The only person that had some type of communication with Lucky was Matoo who would only assure everyone that she was okay.

  Nice looked over at Los who was clearly stressing. “Damn nigga I didn’t wanna say this but it look like you got into a fight with Freddie Krueger and you took a straight L. Look like that nigga jumped all in that ass in
ya dreams nigga.” Everyone looked over at Los and burst out laughing; they had been thinking the same thing but didn’t have the courage to voice it. Lucky definitely did a number on him with her fingernails. Los glared at Nice as if he would murder him. “What son we got problems?” Nice asked jumping to his feet and opening his arms. Los looked over at Nice as if he’d lost his damn mind, he was 10 seconds away from them going at it like two prize winning Pits in a dog fight. “You know what though I ain’t even gotta do shit, all I gotta do is call my girl Luck over here to handle that ass.” Nice grabbed his phone off its clip on his waist dramatically. “We all know you don’t want it wit her. She came out there like muthatfucka! I told you not to fuck wit me.” Nice said in a high pitched voice swinging his arms trying to do his best impersonation of Lucky. The whole room fell over with laughter. Although, Los was just seconds away from going blow to blow with Nice for making light of his situation he had to laugh at his clown ass too. Nice took another tote from his blunt then continued. “Lucky ain’t nothin to fuck wit. She came out there and blacked out. Had cracka’s running for cover, jumping from tables to get outta the way and the whole nine. She was out there on some Mike Tyson shit, biting niggaz and everything.”