It Is What it Is

by Ivory B.

  “Is everything alright?” Margaret asked with concern when Jah entered the foyer. She was scared he might pull out on purchasing a house. And she certainly didn’t want to lose the commission on selling a house in this price range. Cathy had recommended Margaret to Jah and Keema and she was damn good at what she did. So her having to see him go through this shit with Keem was kind of embarrassing.

  “I’m so sorry if I caused any problems between you and the Misses. I only wanted to show you this house because it’s move in condition and I know you guys want to be moved in before the new arrival.” “No, no it’s nothing you did my wife…my wife is uh…you know pregnant. What else can I say?” Jah said with a smile throwing his hands up as if he gave up. Margaret chuckled. “Well give me a call when you are ready to do more viewings. In the meantime I’ll go back to the office and search through some MLS listings and send you prospects via email and text, and if anything catches your eye let me know and I’ll set up a viewing.” “Will do,” Jah agreed shaking her hand before he went out to the car where Keema and the baby were already waiting.

  Keema gave Jah the silent treatment as they drove back towards the city. Baby Jah had fallen into a peaceful sleep in the backseat while Keema’s attitude was on full blast. She leaned her body towards the passenger side door as she stared out the window with her face screwed up and her arms folded across her chest. Jah turned down the stereo and looked over at Keema before speaking. He reached out to touch her face gently but she pulled away. “Keem like for real you on some bugged out shit right now, you doing all this for what?” Jah asked irritation lacing his words. “For what? Jah you’re the one that came in the house and insisted we move all of a sudden. You didn’t even ask me how I felt about it.” “Yo Keema we livin in a tri-level condo with one kid who’s already infatuated with the stairs and another on the way, you know we need to move. I don’t know why you fightin me so hard on this.” “Okay our house ain’t ideal for kids. I’ll give you that so why can’t we find something that’s a one level in the city?” Jah took a deep breath and dragged his hand over his face while gripping the steering wheel with his other hand.

  “Keem I already told you we ain’t stayin in the city or nowhere near it. You keep going on and on man dead it! Funeral that shit Keem I mean it!” Jah barked losing his cool. “Why can’t we buy something in the city? Why? Cause Nice and Los don’t live in the city? Why can’t you be your own man, stand on ya own two and make your own decisions about where you live instead of watchin what other niggaz do? I’ma grown ass woman and I can decide where and where I ain’t living. I don’t know what you doing but I’ma stay my black ass posted up in the city, and you can take ya ass where ever the fuck you wanna go…”

  Jah swung his Escalade to the side of the highway suddenly startling Keema who grabbed onto the door handle for support. He reached over and grabbed her by the back of her neck while biting on his lower lip trying to contain his anger. “Yo who the fuck is you talkin to like that?” Jah gritted close to Keema’s ear sounding sinister as hell. Keema hiked her shoulders up like a turtle trying to pull its head back into its shell. Jah snarled down at Keema on the verge of looking insane. “You’re my wife when I move you move! Where I go you and my seeds go! And if you ever in your life question my manhood I will beat ya ass like a man. We good on that shit ha? Go head Keem play wit me, say something slick, suck ya teeth and I swear on everything them bitches gon come up missin.” Keema pursed her lips together careful not to make a peep afraid that if she did this crazy nigga might make good on his threat. Keema shook her head up and down slightly signaling she got Jah’s message. He snatched his hand away from her neck swiftly and Keema burst into hard sobs as soon as he let her go. Jah pulled back onto the road with a loud screech of his tires. “Fuck wrong wit you?! You lost ya mind or something? You betta go find that muthafucka and I mean real quick! I’ll be damned if you start talkin to me like I’m some fuckin cornball,” Jah spat angrily. Keema’s heart was beating so hard she was having chest pains as she rubbed her sore throat. Keema cried silently the rest of the ride home and it took everything in Jah not to reach over and console her. He hated to see Keema cry but she had pushed him to his limit today. Jah pulled into their parking space in the garage with guilt eating away at him. He had never ever laid a finger on Keema before or thought that he would ever, but lately it’s like she had turned into a complete monster and was constantly coming at him sideways. “Meema I didn’t mea…” was all he got out before Keema jumped out and slammed the door hard enough to shake the truck slightly. The sudden loud sound jolted Baby Jah out of his sleep. Whaaaa! Whaaa! Whaa! Jah watched shaking his head back and forth as Keema strutted angrily to the entrance of their building. He made up his mind that very moment that he wasn’t following her upstairs or else he might make the news tonight for strangling his very pregnant wife.

  Keema made it upstairs expecting to hear Jah and the baby coming in minutes later but she never heard them come in before she fell asleep mad at the world. When Keema woke up the first thing she did was walk into the bathroom to inspect her neck which was now red with Jah’s finger imprints. I can’t believe this muthafucka. He had never put his hands on her before and she would be damned if he was going to wait until she was pregnant to start thuggin on her. Tears of anger welled up in her eyes as she turned her neck from side to side examining the bruises. Keema went into her bedroom and rummaged through the nightstand drawer until she found what she was looking for. When she opened her bedroom door she noticed the house was completely dark. She walked down to Baby Jah’s nursery and opened the door to find him sleeping peacefully in his crib. She could tell Jah had bathed him because his hair was still a little damp and he smelled of Johnson and Johnson bedtime lotion and wash. She leaned in kissing him on his soft cheek as she rubbed his back gently. Now I’m about to deal with your Daddy.

  Keema walked into the theater room where Jah had rap music playing on low from the theater surround system to avoid waking her or the baby while he sat playing Call of Duty Ghosts with the game on mute. Weed smoke hung thick in the air like LA smog, letting Keema know that Jah was in there getting dead right which was a good thing for her because his reflexes would be much slower. “Pussy nigga tried to creep me,” Jah snapped at the TV as he pressed down on the Xbox controller feverishly. Jah never turned around when he heard Keema walk in the room instead he started fanning the air with his arm in an attempt to diffuse some of the smoke. “Ayo Keem you shouldn’t be in here,” Jah advised as he attempted to jump up and crack a window so some fresh air could get in but he froze in his tracks when he felt a cold, sharp, blade being pressed against the side of his neck, right where he recently had Keema’s name tatted in cursive. He could feel Keema’s hand trembling damn near violently as she held the blade to his neck. “Listen nigga, don’t you eva put your fuckin hands on me again.” Jah jerked his neck to the side and Keema did exactly what he thought she would do, shit. He swiftly snatched her hand that held the blade and squeezed down hard until she dropped the blade while jumping to his feet. “Ayo Keema is you fuckin cra…! Maannn I should steal ya whole muthafuckin dental plan for pullin that dumb shit! ” Jah’s hand flew to his neck instinctively as he rubbed to make sure Keema hadn’t accidently nicked him. He wanted to say a few more words but he stopped himself as he looked at Keema and saw something in her eyes he never wanted to see when she looked at him, fear. He glowered at Keema as he exhaled hard to calm his anger. This stunt didn’t really surprise him he knew his wife had the propensity to take things from zero to ahunnit. Keema was just extra like that but hell it was one of the reasons he loved her so much. “Keema you bugged the fuck out. You coming in here tryna dead a nigga for puttin you in ya place earlier.” Jah hissed and sat back down angrily but then hopped right back up causing Keema to jump in fear. “Fuck is you jumpin for?” Jah asked as he patted his pockets like he was looking for something, finally he pulled out another dutch and proceeded to open it all along talkin
g more to himself. “Blew a nigga high just like that, kilt my mufuckin vibe. A nigga nerves is bad. You see this shit Meema?” Jah asked holding his arm out. “I’m shaken and shit, you crazy as hell! Keem pass me that razor right there.” Jah ordered and Keema did as she was told picking up the same razor she just held to his neck passing it to him. Jah cut the dutch down the middle with one surgical like slice. He then grabbed the mini trash can he had in the room and dumped the guts of the dutch in the basket, replacing it with premium weed, lit it up and took a few hard totes. Usually he wouldn’t light up around Keema in her condition but after the stunt she pulled he needed something immediately. He threw the razor on the table in front of him then signaled for Keema to come over to him with a head nod. Keema walked over to him slowly as if she were constipated with tears threatening to fall with every step she took. Jah pointed at the coffee table in front of him directing Keema to take a seat. Once she did he moved the entire table with her on it closer to him.

  “A’ight Keem talk to me. What’s goin on wit you?” Keema shrugged her shoulders hard and remained silent only whimpering. “Nah, nah, nah cut that cry baby shit out. You just came in here tryna catch a body now you cryin? Miss me wit that bullshit.” “I wasn’t gon kill you Jah, you know that but you hit me!” Keema blurted out through tears. Jah sighed hard and shook his head. “Keem I ain’t hit you. I yoked ya lil ass up cause you been coming at me real crazy lately.” “You not being fair, we supposed to be a team and make important decisions together but you just came in the house one day talking about we moving. Jah this is a marriage a partnership, not a dictatorship. I’m grown; as a matter of fact I’m older than you. I should have a sa…” Keema rambled. Jah shook his head cutting her off mid rant signaling her to shut up with his large hand. This whole moving argument was getting redundant. Jah turned his head to the side to exhale a cloud of smoke before speaking. “Yo! Keema we movin; and we ain’t movin to another place in the city. Now if you gotta problem with what I’m sayin then pick that razor up and do you.” Jah said jotting his head towards the razor beside her. Keema shook her head no as tears began to cloud her vision. She wasn’t going to do anything to Jah and he knew it.

  “Keem listen, you know how I get it and them streets I’m gettin it in is too close to home. When I leave you and the kids alone I need to have a peace of mind that y’all tucked away somewhere far removed from what I’m into out here. That’s why we movin ma. This ain’t about me Keem; it’s about you and the kids. If it was just me I would stay posted up right here where I been before me and you linked back up and started a family. I swear I would body everything if anything ever happened to you or my kids,” Jah stopped himself and shook his head back and forth feeling as if he were getting angry with the mere thought of harm coming to his family. Keema was starting to see the light but she still didn’t think this was fair. “Jah I don’t wanna move so far away from the city. You know me I’ma city chick, Philly is all I know. Why do we have to go deep out in the sticks of PA? Can’t we compromise? Can’t we move further North to Jersey or something? Jersey has really nice neighborhoods baby, beautiful homes and good school districts. Best part about Jersey is it’s not too far away from Philly.” Jah sighed hard Keema was relentless; when she wanted something she would nag you to death about it. “A’ight I’ll think about it. That’s all I’ma say. We already wasted way too much time on this.” Keema shook her head in agreement but inwardly she knew she had made a huge stride in chipping away at some of Jah’s amour, and if she played her cards right he might end up seeing things her way.

  “Now what else is bothering you?” Jah asked peering deep into Keema’s eyes Uhhh how does he do that? How is it he can see right through me? “Jah I’m worried about Lucky. Look how long it’s been and ya cousin is wildin out. Do you know he ran up in Tamika’s shop the other day scaring her and her clients? Talkin bout Mika betta tell Lucky to get her black ass home cause if he find her he gon put his foot on her neck and keep it there.” Jah burst out into laughter but Keema didn’t find the humor as a matter of fact she looked alarmed. “Ma c’mon now you know Los wouldn’t do anything to Luck just like I wouldn’t do anything to you,” Jah said leaning in and pinching her cheek. “Lucky good, she stronger than everyone think she is, trust. I know everybody thinkin she can’t survive out here without anybody but she can and will. Just like ain’t nobody think she would ever get on some trill shit and end up gettin both her and Los bagged but she did.” Keema and Jah both locked eyes before laughing. “Jah that’s not funny, you think she’ll be here for the baby’s birth?” Keema asked looking sad. “Yeah of course Meema,” Jah tried to assure Keema all along wondering the same thing. It was shocking to everyone that Lucky had actually left Carlos and been gone for as long as she had. Jah could tell Keema had other things on her mind and was holding back. He reached out pulling her onto his lap.

  “Meema you know those pretty brown eyes of yours is a blessing and a curse right? You know they say everything you don’t. Talk to me baby girl what else is bothering you?” “Sister G contacted me on Facebook.” Keema blurted out bracing herself for Jah’s reaction. Jah’s eyes went to the ceiling. Yeah this would explain Keema’s erratic behavior. When Sister G was in her life Keema could get into these negative moods that were so bad it was hard to be around her at times. So it wasn’t a surprise to Jah that the Old Bat had something to do with Keema’s sudden change of attitude.

  “Jah I know what you thinking but baby she apologized for all the things she done to me in the past. She seems genuine and she wants a relationship with me, you and the kids,” Jah shook his head no. “Nah Keem I’m not wit it.” “Why Jah? People change, I mean… look at you, you’ve changed. Imagine if I never gave you the opportunity to show me that we wouldn’t have what we have now. So why can’t you leave things in the past when dealing with my Grandmother?” “Because when I look at shit like this” Jah said grabbing Keema’s arm and turning it so that the inside of her wrists were facing them exposing permanent cigarette burns courtesy of Sister G’s abuse. Then his eyes traveled to her legs zeroing in on the little patch of pebble like indents on the side of Keema’s left knee evidence of Sister G’s cruel punishment tactics of making Keema kneel in raw rice for hours at a time when she was a kid. Nah fuck that old bitch, she lucky she still breathing Jah thought to himself after letting his eyes roam his wife’s scars.

  “Keem that’s ya peoples if you wanna have her back in your life I’ll respect that but I ain’t gotta have a relationship with her.” “She’s changed Jah. She asked a lot about Baby Jah. She seems to really want to be a Great Gran to him. But…she’s not doing too well. She’s been sick with her Diabetes and high blood pressure and…and she needs a place to stay. She asked if we had room here.” Jah’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He couldn’t remain silent any longer. “Heeellll nah! Yo she too fuckin nasty.” “I know, I know, baby calm down. I told her we didn’t have the space but I offered to help financially. I’m going to write her a check for 6g’s if that’s alright with you?” “If it’s alright with you then yeah we Gucci, I told you I’ll support your decision to have a relationship with your grandmother. Go ahead and bring Baby Jah to see her when you give her that check.” Keema smiled up at Jah as he brought her head close to his and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you ma.” “I love you too,” Keema said staring into his eyes. “So we good now?” Jah asked. Keema shook her head yes feeling the weight of the world lift off her shoulders now that she confided her stressors to her other half. “I ain’t gotta sleep with one eye open? Or make sure we ain’t got no grits in the kitchen cabinets right?” Keema burst out laughing. “No. I’m sorry baby,” Keema sealed her apology with a sensual peck kiss on his lips. It was something about her husband, just looking at him was getting her excited. Jah stared at her with a straight face as she kissed him repeatedly kissing her way down to the growing bulge in front of his jeans. He lifted an eyebrow as Keema unbuttoned his jeans and released his hard
on. He chuckled “Keem for real, you gon top a nigga off right after you tried to body him?” He shook his head in disbelief “What the hell I’ma do with you?” Keema smirked before answering “Nothing but what you’ve been doing Daddy love me,” she said before taking him into her mouth. Jah hissed and scooted back in his seat as Keema downed his dick with one gulp. Keema proceeded to bless him with head that went down in Jah’s record book as some of the best he ever had.