It Is What it Is

by Ivory B.

  The entire waiting room had piped down by then both Kynah and Baby Jah were out for the count after tiring themselves out from running around. Kynah had arrived with Nice and Ty excited as can be; she insisted on stopping at the gift shop to buy the baby balloons and a teddy but Nice and Ty knew the balloons and teddy bear was more for her than the baby. Now the balloons were floating on the ceiling and both Ky and teddy were in Nice’s lap. Jah rushed into the waiting room waking everybody up from either nodding off or sleeping. “Keem had the baby! They about to move her to the maternity ward in a few so y’all can see her.” “She had the baby?” Cathy asked with surprise, she was almost certain they’d be there half the night but it seemed as if the little Diva Keema was carrying wanted out. “Yeah, you gotta see her Aunt Kit Cat,” Jah said proudly.

  Keema was sitting up in bed when Ky and Cathy came rushing into her room in the maternity ward. Ky went straight for the hospital issued basinet peering down at the baby with wide eyes. You could see it all in Ky’s eyes Jahzera must’ve looked like the best baby doll she’d ever seen and she was so tempted to touch her. Grandma Cat stopped her dead in her tracks, “Kyy go wash them hands before you touch that baby.” All Keema heard was ooh's and aah's as she drifted in and out of sleep. “How you doing mama?” Keema heard a familiar voice then felt a hand gently sweep her hair from her face. She opened her eyes to see her Ace Boom Ty standing over her. All Keema could do is offer up a big weak smile. “Giiirl, I’m worn out,” Keema admitted weakly. “I can’t believe you had the baby without me,” Ty pouted playfully. “I was trying to hold off till you got here but she wanted out. I had Lucky with me though; you know her soft ass started crying.” “I heard that hoe,” Lucky called from across the room. Both Keema and Ty giggled. Then Keema turned her head to give Ty a better look. Ty was absolutely glowing; Keema reached out and touched her stomach. “I hope it’s a girl so they can be Besties and grow up together like we did,” Ty smiled holding Keema’s hand to her stomach. “You and I both cause Daddy over there wants a boy,” Ty said pointing towards Nice. “I’ll be back I gotta go see my niece I just wanted to check on you first.” Ty slid off and scooped the baby up out of Cathy’s arms and that’s where she remained until visiting hours was almost over. Ty wouldn’t let anyone take the baby from her she was automatically glued to Jahzera.

  In the midst of the joyous occasion Keema’s grandmother Sister G and one of Keema’s Aunts strolled in. Keema’s face lit up when she saw her grandmother walk in the room. “Hey Grandma, I was calling you earlier so you could be here when I had her.” “Umm girl that’s for young people. Back in my day all that was in a room was the midwife not even the husband was there, he stayed out till he heard the baby cryin. Well where she at? Where that baby at?” Sister G spotted Ty holding the baby and wobbled over to get a better look at her. Sister G pulled the baby’s blanket away from Jahzera’s face and peered down at her. “Hmm, she looks just like that man and his peoples,” was her grandmother’s only response as if Jah wasn’t standing right there. Jah flashed Sister G a nasty look. They never liked each other that was no secret. Sister G remembered Jah from way back; he was the same little thug she told Keema to stay away from. She warned Keema that he was bad news and all he would do was break her heart and leave her high and dry. And he did exactly that so imagine Sister G’s shock when she found out that Jah was actually Keema’s husband. Sister G turned and wobbled back over to Keema with the assistance of her infamous cane.

  “Well when they letting you out of here so I can have some of my homemade chicken soup ready for you. I’ll come by ya house and help you with these two chillins of yours.” Keema wanted to laugh; after all these years of her grandmother migrating from the Carolina’s she was still country as hell. “I don’t know Grandma, I think in about a day or two.” “Umm hmm, well call me when you home. I’ma be on my way you know I don’t like hospitals. Oh yeah, Shakeema did you remember to send that off for me for dem bills?” Keema cut her eyes over at Jah trying to see if he overheard that little tidbit, it was apparent he had because he was looking dead at her. “Yeah Grandma I sent that off a few days ago.” “Okay, let me get goin so I can get off these here bad legs of mine and take my meds.” “Okay Grandma,” Keema said with a little glimmer of disappointment in seeing the woman that raised her leave as quickly as she came.

  Jah couldn’t understand it, he could never figure out why his wife sought validation, love, and acceptance from this woman who was obviously incapable of giving her any. Jah saw right through Sister G she wasn’t shit but a user and an opportunist. She came back into Keema’s life under false pretenses, supposedly because she wanted to mend a broken relationship with Keema and have a relationship with her great grandkids. Get the fuck outta here with that bullshit; is what Jah wanted to say to that. Jah wasn’t a fool he had picked up on the fact that none of Sister G’s appearances or visits came without a price. Whenever she came around you best believe Keema was paying in some type of way. Whether it be Sister G’s rent, bills or hitting Sister G off with spending money. Now that Sister G was back in Keema’s life so was the rest of Keema’s extended family such as Aunts, Cousins and Uncles who once didn’t want anything to do with Keema since she had fell out with her grandmother. The more family she suddenly had the more empty palms she had to fill. Jah couldn’t understand how Keema didn’t stop and question where all these people were when she was bouncing from pillar to post? Where were they when she was cooking up work for questionable niggaz out here to make her tuition for her LPN degree? When Keema admitted to Jah what she had been doing to make ends meet while they were apart he was livid. Mostly because of the danger Keema had put herself in, but mainly because it was he himself who taught Keema the game. So if anything happened to her out there whether she became a casualty of the game and gotten killed in a trap house or busted and sent off to do 20 plus either situation would’ve weighed heavily on his mental. Jah was back now and he swore he would never leave her in a predicament like that again her peoples couldn’t say the same though. He wasn’t against Keema helping her people out but the constant stream of funds taken from their joint account to give to her family had to end. Jah kept his mouth shut previously because he didn’t want to stress his wife out during her pregnancy. All he wanted was a healthy baby and now that he had that things were about to change drastically. Starting with this constant running faucet of funds to her bum ass family, he was putting an end to this gravy train. All aboard! These mooching muthafucka’s was getting off at the next stop.

  Jah walked over to his wife and gazed down at her. “You did good Meema, I’m so proud of you,” he said before kissing her forehead. When he backed up he could see Keema’s eyes and mouth smiling up at him. “I love you,” she whispered. “I love you too Ma.” Just then Baby Jah interrupted the love fest between his parents by crying and holding up his arms towards Keema. He wanted his Mommy who he hadn’t been with for the last couple of days. Jah picked him up and let him lean in and kiss Keema. Keema looked at both of them looking like twins and her baby in Ty’s arms. This should’ve been enough for her, so why did she feel so empty at times? Especially when she thought about her own mother?

  This is Life

  Jah walked into his luxury apartment and froze in the doorway watching the scene before him. Baby Jah was going about his business playing with his toys on the floor while Keema lie on the couch with her laptop on her stomach and Jahzera sleeping peacefully in her bassinet that was pulled up alongside the couch. He could never have imagined when he first purchased his bachelor pad that he would be walking in on a scene like this someday, it’s funny how life can deal you an unexpected hand of cards but he wouldn’t change anything about his life right now. Well maybe just a few things.

  Baby Jah was the first one to notice him standing at the front door. His son’s eyes lit up with recognition and love before flashing a gummy smile exposing his four little sharp baby teeth. “Da, Da, Da,” he chanted hitting his little hand
on the floor and then taking off crawling towards Jah with speed. Before Lil Jah could make it across the vast living room Jah scooped him from the floor and threw him up in the air playfully. Lil Jah giggled his head off but whined for a split second when Jah placed him back on the floor. “Nah go head do you.” Jah said looking down at his son with a slight smile. As if Lil Jah understood he picked up one of his many toys that was scattered on the floor and continued banging away while making all types of baby noises. Jah turned towards his daughter who was pretty in pink with her little hands cuffed into fists as she slept. He slipped one of his fingers into her fists and watched her squirm a little before he felt that familiar little squeeze on his finger. Keema tore her eyes from her laptop looking Jah up and down. Damn he fine as fuck, he got a fresh shape up too, ooh he can get it lookin like that, for a split second Keema felt something she hadn’t felt in a minute, that was the spike of her libido. As quickly as it spiked it plummeted. Secretly she was having some serious issues with her body image after having her second child, so if sex involved stripping naked in front of her husband she would take a pass.

  Keema took her mind off of sex and focused on Jah standing over Jahzera’s bassinet. She could see it in his eyes, she knew her husband well enough to know what he was about to do. “No Jah don’t pick her up you gon mess around and wake her up and I just put her down,” Keema snapped. Jah went right along gently scooping his daughter up into his arms ignoring Keema. Keema watched as Jahzera’s little body curled up to her father’s chest as if she recognized his touch on contact. Jah sat down on the couch and rubbed the baby’s back while she lay on his chest looking extra comfy with her little pampered bottom poked out. Keema sucked her teeth loudly and rolled her eyes. Jah was good for this; waking Jahzera up by picking her up and playing with her, then once he wanted to put her down and she started crying he passed her to Keema to deal with. Jahzera was a full-time job and she took her nickname lil diva to heart. She was what people would call a difficult baby, so much so they’d even taken her to the doctor thinking she could possibly be colic, the doctor’s diagnosis was “No she’s not colic, she’s spoiled” those were his exact words in his thick Indian accent. Where Lil Jah would cry at this stage for a bottle feed, pamper change and an occasional pick up, Jahzera cried every time someone put her down. She just loved being in someone’s hands even when she slept. Keema was desperately trying to break her out of it but her father wasn’t making it easy.

  As of late Keema and Jah been at odds; it seemed as if any and everything was causing them to argue. Granted this was a stressful time in their lives, they were both dealing with a lot. They had a son who was 1 years old now and their Pride, getting into everything he could get his little hands on and a baby girl who was 3 months old spoiled as hell but their absolute Joy. A new house that was currently under renovation, upcoming move, and one spouse who spent lots of time on business out of town. All of that could prove to be a strain on any marriage but those things really wasn’t an issue, well not in Jah’s eyes. The only real issue they had was Sister G scheming ass and all the rest of Keema’s free-loading family.

  Keema felt differently, she felt as if she was taking on more of the responsibility when it came to the important things in life like their children. While Jah seemed to always be on a paper chase out making moves in this or that city or in the studio on this spare time. It was causing her to feel some sort of resentment towards him. Instead of Keema expressing her frustrations she harbored them causing her to lash out and arguments to start over the most trivial things.

  Jah felt the heat of his wife’s eyes and that’s exactly why he wasn’t paying her ass any mind or looking her way as he rubbed Jahzera’s back. He took his eyes off his Princess and let them roam the room before looking towards the kitchen where he noticed empty moving boxes still sitting on the counter and floor as they were when he left. They had finally found that dream house they were so desperately looking for before Jahzera was born. Margaret called three weeks after Jahzera and Keema made it home from the hospital and said she wanted to show them a newly listed house. Jah went with no expectations he’d learned to not get his hopes up, plus it wasn’t in the location he preferred. The house was tucked away in an upscale suburb of Jersey. His Aunt Cathy had warned him about this feeling you get when you know a certain house is the one, you just feel comfortable in it even when it’s not decorated to your liking you can still see yourself in it. That’s exactly how both he and Keema felt. They didn’t even have to utter a word to one another Keema turned to him smiling from ear to ear and he smirked nodding his head in agreement. What made it even better was that they purchased the multi-million dollar house for a steal, basically for way under its market value. The previous owners of the house were experiencing some financial woes and were given permission from the bank to sale the house under a short sale to avoid a foreclosure. The house was being completely renovated, so in the meantime the plan was to pack and prep in anticipation for that move in date which was a little less than two months away.

  “Keem I thought ya peoples was supposed to come through and help you pack some things up?” “Yeah they were but my grandmother called and said her diabetes was acting up so she couldn’t make it.” Keema caught the stale look on Jah’s face and it annoyed her to no end. “What Jah? What’s the problem now?” “I’m sayin Keem that don’t sound right to me, it’s like every time you need ya peoples they can’t come through for you. Her Diabetes was messing wit her but she was well enough to go to the bank and cash that rent check. I got the alert on my phone when it was cashed. If she wobbled her crippled ass down to the bank this morning she coulda came over here and helped you get this shit ready for storage.” Maybe it was Jah speaking the truth that had gotten under Keema’s skin so badly or it was his tone. But truth be told Keema was thinking the same thing but now that Jah addressed it she felt kind of ashamed and angry. “You know what Jah you can be so fuckin ignorant sometimes talkin about she wobbled her crippled ass down to the bank. Jah it’s not like we moving tomorrow. If you care that much about it I’ll pack the shit up myself or better yet no I ain’t doin shit! Not while I have to deal with these kids all fuckin day. Why don’t you pay a moving company…?” “Because all that money I dropped on ya peoples, I already paid more than enough for them to come through and pack up a coupla boxes! Keem you know what I’ma keep that shit ahunnit wit you, ya Grandmother don’t give a fuck about you yo. That bitch is a straight opportunist and she only around for what she can get outta you. Trust me if you was still out here fucked up in the game and strugglin she wouldn’t ever have came her trifflin ass back around. She only around now cause she see you got something to offer her.”

  Keema took a verbal blow that left her standing with her face contorted in a cry face and tears welling in her eyes. Jah could see his words hurt his wife deeply but fuck it! It is what it is, his wife needed to hear the real if he wasn’t real with her who would be. “Jah! You are a fuckin asshole for real and my Grandmother told me you would do this. You wanna make me feel as if I have no one else in this world but you and these kids, like I ain’t worth being loved by no one else but you. Jah you so quick to scream about what my Grandmother did in the past but guess what nigga you were no better. You don’t even help me with these fuckin kids like you should. I ain’t make em on my own but how the fuck is it I feel like a single mother!” Jah jerked his neck back with that shot Keema just took. “Fuck you I’m out, I need a fuckin break you take care of these kids for a change.” Keema jumped up from the couch and stormed towards the stairs to throw some shoes on. She felt as if she really needed some fresh air, a minute to get away, maybe even take a drive to clear her head. That single parent line struck a chord with Jah and he was pissed off that she would even go there. “Keema you sounding crazy as fuck right now. Take ya ass wherever you want but these kids stay here! It’s obvious ya grandmother been in ya ear baby girl cause you acting like you done drank the same mufuckin Kool-Aid she be o
n. While you out go find my wife cause the chick I’m staring at right now I don’t know, I want my wife! The same chick that hit the block wit me and played look out, that same chick that laid up in dirty ass hotel rooms wit me whippin and baggin up work. My ride or die! Not this chick I’m lookin at wit the side eye right now while she bailing out on me and my kids, I don’t know you. Nah you’s a fuckin imposter go get my wife!” Jah’s words hurt Keema to her core and the fact that he told her she can go was extra insult to injury. There was a time that Jah would throw himself on bended knees and beg Keema not to step a foot out of the door, now he was on some brand-new shit. “Jah you sound stupid, what the hell you mean you don’t know me,” Keema shot back with hurt in her tone. Jah glowered at her as he gently rocked Jahzera in his arms trying to calm her down because by now both kids were screaming. This back and forth shouting match between their parents was something they weren’t used to.

  Keema ran upstairs threw on a pair of sneakers and grabbed her handbag. Jah tried desperately to keep the hurt and shock out of his eyes as he watched Keema rush down the stairs with her shoes on and bag in hand. He wanted to beg her to stay, say he was sorry but his pride wouldn’t let him do it. As Keema headed to the front door she kept her eyes down acting as if she were looking for her keys inside her handbag, she couldn’t look up for fear of what she might see in her husband’s eyes, maybe his eyes would be loveless she couldn’t call it from the way they’d been acting towards each other as of late. The last thing she heard was Lil Jah say Ma Ma before the front door slammed shut behind her. Keema made it all the way to the garage and hopped in her X5 before she lost her battle with her tears. Who was she fooling she wasn’t going anywhere she wasn’t her mother she could never walk away from her own children and especially her marriage. She gripped the steering wheel of the car so hard she could feel her manicured nails dig into her palms as she cried. Wiping her eyes with her shoulder the first thought that came to mind was her baby girl. Jahzera might be hungry soon and Keema hadn’t pumped before she left.