A suitable husband

by Steele, Jessica

  Jermaine was just wryly musing that since she was unlikely to see him again after today there was nothing to get used to, when she was suddenly shaken to realise that she had company of a very special kind.

  'Couldn't you sleep?'

  She looked up, a smile in her heart, in her eyes, as she stared at Lukas. 'Early to bed, early to rise,' she trotted out.

  'Shall I join you?' he asked.

  'Of course,' she replied, and, on a sudden thought, 'I didn't disturb you when I left the house, did I?' she asked hurriedly.

  He shook his head. 'I was in my study when I heard dainty footsteps going over the gravel on the drive,' he answered. 'Now, how did I know I'd find you down here?'

  'I'm bewitched by this spot,' she smiled, but, her head jerking up, 'You—followed me?' she asked, her already hurried heartbeat picking up more speed at the notion before common sense landed. 'You wanted me for something?' she dully realised. 'You wanted to have a word about...?'

  'I need to have a reason?' Lukas teased— and her heart fluttered again.

  'Er—no,' she replied, telling herself she mustn't take any of this personally. 'They're your grounds, after all.'

  Lukas didn't answer. He didn't move away either, but seemed perfectly content at that hour in the morning to sit quietly with her, watching the clear waters of the dancing brook as it leapt over pebbles.

  Then suddenly, astonishingly, she heard him say, 'So who's this man you've got to rush back to London to see tonight?'

  'Sorry?' she queried blankly, staring at him mystified.

  'You said you couldn't stay until Monday morning,' Lukas reminded her—she didn't remember saying any such thing. 'When I asked you to stay the weekend, you said you needed to be back in London for Sunday evening'

  Now she remembered—she hadn't wanted to appear too eager. 'Is it the diaboUcal Stuart that takes you away from us?' Lukas wanted to know.

  She lauehed. She didn't want to laugh. She had an idea that just being with him made her so happy that laughter just kind of bubbled up inside her. Still, all the same, she didn't feel like telling Lukas that she had absolutely no need whatsoever to dash back to London that afternoon. At the very least he would think it odd that she had said she had to in the first place. She saw his glance move from her violet eyes to her laughing mouth, and she reined in her inner happiness to tell him primly, "Stuart isn't diabolical. He's...'

  'You're not in love with him. I know that much.' Lukas cut in.

  How did he know? She panicked for a moment, until she recalled Lukas saying on Friday that he didn't see her as someone who'd be serious with one man and be out dining with another. 'I don't need to be in love with him,' she replied, and, in the manner of some newsworthy film star, she ended, 'We're just good friends.' She started to feel a mite anxious that with this mention of love Lukas might probe deeper—though why he would was ridiculous—and stood up. 'I've an appointment at nine-fifteen,' she mentioned lightly. 'I shall have to go.'

  Lukas gave her an amused look, but left the bench too. Together they walked back to the house, each occupied with their own thoughts. They parted at the stairs with little else being said, apart from Lukas commenting, 'If I miss you at breakfast, I'll see you in the study.'

  Jermaine went up to her room with her in-sides all wobbly—partly from her unexpected meeting with Lukas, and partly from her anticipation of shortly seeing him again.

  She delayed going down to breakfast for as long as she could, and discovered from Ash that Lukas had breakfasted some while ago. 'So you're stuck with just me,' he smiled, and was so exceedingly pleasant and likeable that Jermaine realised that, had circumstances been different, they could have been very good friends.

  'Must dash,' she said when she had finished the bacon and scrambled eggs Tina had brought her.

  'Don't let that brother of mine work you too hard.' Ash smiled.

  Jermaine returned briefly to her room to wash her hands, clean her teeth and to check that she was looking all right. Her platinum-blonde hair was shining and needed little attention. Likewise her make-up required little attention. It was her insides that she could do nothing about.

  She wanted to see him. She so wanted to see him. So what are you doing, dithering up here? It had never been her habit to wait until the clock struck nine to start work. If she arrived at the office early she began work straight away.

  At five past nine, passing Tina in the hall carrying a tray, obviously on her way to Edwina's room, Jermaine made it to the study door. She took a steadying breath and went in, her heart performing a jig when she at once saw that Lukas was there first.

  'Oh, good,' she smiled. 'You're here.'

  'Here and waiting,' Lukas answered quietly, his serious grey eyes taking in her shoulder-length hair, her superb complexion and her slender but shapely figure. 'Come in and sit down,' he said when she hadn't moved, and smiled.

  Jermaine hung the jacket of her suit over the chair she had used before—and in no time they were deep into his work concerning Sweden.

  It could, she supposed, have been some deadly boring business report. But, possibly because of her own business background, and because of the overwhelming love she felt for him, Jermaine thought his report little short of terrific.

  'Shall we take a break?' Lukas asked at one stage. But suddenly she felt strangely shy.

  She shook her head. 'Shall we get on?' She made the mistake of looking at him, and at the warm look in his eyes for her her pulses raced.

  'A woman after my own heart,' he said softly, and while Jermaine wanted to tell him, yes, yes, she wanted his heart, he continued from where they had left off.

  It was nearing half past twelve when everything was neatly typed and many copies printed and checked over. Jermaine felt Lukas come and stand behind her.

  'You've worked like a Trojan,' he commented, and she looked up, awash with pleasure.

  'I enjoyed doing it,' she answered truthfully, turning and basking in the warm look in his eyes. They stared at each other, and she felt transfixed to look away. Her heart started drumming and there was a pounding in her ears too. But abruptly she stood up. 'I'd b-better go and tidy up before lunch' she mumbled huskily, desperately trying to get herself together; with Lukas looking steadily at her like that—a certain indefinable warmth in his eyes—something, she knew not what, was happening to her, and she urgently needed to find some sort of control.

  She went to shoot past him, failed to clear him, violently bumped into him, and they ended up facing each other. His hands came to her arms as he steadied her. 'Now what are you panicking over?' Lukas asked, not letting her go.

  'N-nothing,' she said. 'I'm not...' 'You're afraid I'm going to kiss you?' Please, oh, please do. 'Of course not!' she answered, her voice coming out nowhere near as firm as she would have liked to have heard it.

  A frown crossed his intelligent forehead. 'You're not scared of me, Jermaine?' he asked quietly—and suddenly she was remembering how he had gently probed 'You're scared' when he had learned she was a virgin.

  Because she loved him, and had all at once realized that he had a fine sensitivity, she was not thinking but just acting on instinct alone. Jermaine showed him in the only way she could that she was not scared, or afraid he would kiss her. She stretched up, and she kissed him...

  Then found she didn't want to break away. Her hands went to his waist—just the feel of his excellent mouth against her own and she seemed to need to steady herself.

  She quickly pulled back; that, or kiss him again. 'I—er—um—shouldn't have done that,' she said huskily, and loved it when, slowly, Lukas smiled.

  'Oh, I can't agree with you there,' he murmured, and, taking charge, he pulled her into his arms. The next she knew he was kissing her as she had never been kissed before.

  Nor did he stop at one kiss; he seemed as hungry for her mouth as she was for his. Locked in his warm embrace, Jermaine welcomed his
kisses, a fire igniting in her, bursting into flame as his strong arms held her, binding her to him.

  'Beautiful, beautiful Jermaine,' he breathed against her mouth, kissing her again, gathering her yet closer to him.

  She felt his warmth, his heat, and as he pressed close to her, she, her heart going crazy, pressed closer to him. She heard a groan of wanting escape him, and felt she would faint from the utter rapture of it when, with his mouth on hers, drawing her very soul from her, his caressing hands sought and found the swollen globes of her breasts.

  She wasn't sure that a groan of wanting didn't escape her too, for Lukas broke his kiss to smile tenderly down at her. 'All right?' he asked.

  Wonderfully all right, she wanted to tell him. But as the flame of unsuspected passion continued to spiral upward in her, and she found herself in a never-before-known land of urgent desire, of wanting, with no thought of holding back, she could only suppose it must be some latent and totally-not-required strand of modesty that caused her to answer, 'I'm not very sure we should be doing this.'

  Those grey eyes were as steady as ever as Lukas looked into her fervent violet ones, that had darkened to a much deeper colour as her desire for him had rocked her. Then she saw his mouth pick up at the comers.

  'Why?' he asked gently, teasingly.

  Again she recalled his 'scared' comment, and she didn't want him to think she was scared of him, or of making love with him, and so she told him honestly, 'Because I—um— think I like it.'

  He laughed then, and it was a wonderful sound. 'You're simply gorgeous,' he said softly. But instead of renewing his onslaught to her mouth, to her senses, when he must know the advantage was all his, he kissed her tenderly and, taking his arms from her, took a small step away. 'And absolutely right, of course.'

  'I am?' She hoped she didn't sound as disappointed as she felt.

  'It's nearly lunchtime—we could be interrupted at any moment,' he reminded her.

  'I—see,' she said slowly, and as she did begin to see, and went hot all over as she visualised Tina perhaps coming in to tell them that the meal was ready, Jermaine moved back from him. Ridiculously, when she considered how not long since she had been clinging to Lukas like a second skin, she was suddenly overcome by a dreadful shyness.

  She turned desperately away, warm colour rushing to her face, and was glad to espy her jacket—completely forgotten about until

  then—still hanging over the back of the chair. She grabbed it up and quickly put it on.

  'I'll—er—see you later,' she threw in his general direction. But made the mistake of looking at him.

  'Don't rush off,' he said, and, coming close again, caused her insides to jump some more when he stroked tender fingers down the shy blush of her cheek and asked, 'What are you doing for Christmas?'

  She was mesmerized by him and tried hard to concentrate. What was she doing for Christmas? 'I'm spending it with my parents,' she replied, barely able to remember that part of her telephone conversation with her mother yesterday where she had doubly confirmed that she would be there.

  'All of it?' Lukas asked.

  'All of it,' she answered, her head swimming as she tried to decipher what all this was about.

  'Can I come too?' he asked.

  She knew then that he was joking! A man of his charm, his sophistication, would have something better to do than spend a homey Christmas with her and her parents. 'What?' she questioned, pretending to be aghast. 'And let your fan club down?' Jermaine was certain,

  Edwina aside, that his festive season engagement diary would be full to overflowing.

  He grinned. Then, to her amazement, urged, 'Spend your Christmas here?'

  Her heart started to pound. Was he serious? Of course he wasn't. Couldn't be, she decided, and fearing to make an utter fool of herself by allowing herself to take him seriously, insisted, 'My parents are expecting me.'

  'You always do what your parents expect?' he asked, humour playing around his superb mouth, and she felt light-hearted suddenly.

  Though she kept a straight face as she assured him, 'Always.'

  'You'll come home Boxing Day?'

  'Home?' She wasn't sure she understood his question.

  'Home—here. To Highfield,' Lukas answered.

  Oh, how she loved him. She had to look away from him. She wanted to swallow on the knot of emotion that caught in her throat—he had been serious. She felt then that she would have given anything to tell Lukas yes, yes, a thousand times yes. By the sound of it all her prayers would be answered and she would be able to see Lukas again when he returned from his business trip. But the reality of it was that

  her parents would be very much upset, and hurt, if she and Edwina broke their promise to spend Christmas with them.

  So, from somewhere, Jermaine managed to summon up a smile, and, much though it hurt her, 'I can't,' she told Lukas. 'I gave them my promise.'

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The days stretched long and achingly for Jermaine after her departure from Highfield. She had not managed to have a moment alone with Lukas once she had left his study— Edwina had seemed to be always everywhere.

  Jermaine spent hours reliving those minutes she had been in his arms. She again felt the rapture of being held by him and of being kissed by him.

  He had been in no hurry for her to leave, she recalled dreamily, and felt warmed through and through to remember, again and again, that Lukas had asked her to spend Christmas with him at Highfield. Ash would be there too, of course, but surely Lukas wouldn't have asked her to Christmas at Highfield on any mere passing whim?

  To invite someone into your home over that special festive time had to mean that they were a tiny bit special too, didn't it?

  Oh, come off it, argued her more realistic self. You're not even the tiniest scrap special to him. Have you forgotten so completely that

  he regards you as a bit of a challenge? Good heavens, get your head together do. For pity's sake, you don't have to look further back than Sunday, when you kissed him. You responded fully when he kissed you back; my, how you responded! Lukas must have thought, No challenge; a walk-over! And that was why he invited you to spend Christmas in his home, purely and simply because he thought you were willing!

  Well, she wasn't willing—well, that was what she tried to tell herself. Although, as she recalled just how eager she had been for his kisses, in all honesty she couldn't have said that she was unwilling.

  Pride insisted on reminding her that she had demurred a little when she'd told him that she wasn't very sure they should be doing this. But only for her pride to take a hammering when she recollected how he'd agreed a very short while afterwards that she was absolutely right.

  Perhaps, then, that meant that he'd decided she was not so much as 'a bit' of a challenge after all. Then why had he asked her to spend Christmas in his home?

  At that point Jermaine realised she had come full circle. That did not stop her from thinking continually about Lukas. But she had never been in love before. Though as she did not want to listen to her common sense, her realism, as a few days passed, so she had to accept that she was not the remotest bit special to Lukas. Had she been, then surely he would have managed to pick up the phone—wherever he was? When he'd been in Sweden he'd found a moment to ring Edwina, Jermaine recalled.

  No, no, no, she was not going to think of Edwina in relation to Lukas. She couldn't, Jermaine fretted. There were enough emotions tearing at her nerves now, without adding jealousy.

  She had never felt so low, but, since she was the only one who was going to know it, Jermaine adopted a cheerfulness she was far from feeling. The evening of the company's Christmas dinner came—with Nick Norris eager to take her home.

  'I'm driving Stuart home,' she was glad to be able to answer.

  'You mean I have to wait until the New Year to get to spend any time with you?' he complained. But, brightening, he persisted,
Taney partnering me at a New Year's Eve party?'

  She didn't. 'Some other time,' she told him, and tried to feel good that somebody wanted to date her anyhow.

  She went out for an Indian meal with Stuart on Friday, was home by ten, and spent the weekend half wishing she had been able to break her promise to her parents and go to Highfield for Christmas instead. Even while she hated herself for that half wish, Jermaine couldn't help but fully wish she had been in a position to accept Lukas's Christmas offer. She ached to see Lukas again, wanted to see him again—oh, so desperately.

  Jermaine spent her lunchtimes on Monday and Tuesday doing her last bits of Christmas shopping, and went home to her parents on Christmas Eve, laden with a large suitcase plus many carrier bags, where she was warmly welcomed—and, metaphorically, dropped from a great height when, greetings over, she asked what time Edwina was expected.

  'She's not coming,' Grace Hargreaves replied flatly.

  'Not...?'

  They so badly wanted her to stay, it seemed criminal to keep her to her promise,' Edwin Hargreaves defended. 'Especially as Edwina has been through such a rough time with her back.'

  They?' Jermaine asked, fearing the worst but striving to keep her expression even, as looking to her father, she waited for him to deliver the body-blow.

  'The Tavinors, of course!' her father replied. 'Edwina rang this afternoon and was quite excited that Lukas Tavinor himself had just been in touch, asking her to join him and Ash. Having met them both, I'm happy that they'll take care of her—I told her to go, with my blessing. She's not fully recovered yet, you know.'

  Jermaine was aware that her father was defending in advance any criticism of his elder daughter's actions, but Jermaine was too heartsick to think of telling him that Edwina was more than capable of taking care of herself.