A suitable husband

by Steele, Jessica

  'You wanted me there?'

  'So much. One date with you wasn't enough. One hour with you, two, three, were too quickly passing. I wanted a day with you, two days with you.'

  Oh, Lukas. Her heart was pounding. Oh, she did believe him; she did! 'You invited me to stay for Christmas,' she whispered dreamily. 'You invited me to spend Christmas with you.'

  'Of course I did. I'd discovered a serious need to see you more and more. Yet I was going away. Lord knew when I would see you again. If you spent Christmas at Highfield, I stood every chance of seeing you on Christmas Eve, the first day of my return.'

  Suddenly Jermaine was smiling. 'And when I refused you invited Edwina to stay, thinking—no, not thinking, plotting—that if you came to my parents' home when you were "in the area" on Boxing Day, Edwina might be a lever...'

  'In my persuasion to get you to come back with me,' Lukas finished for her, and, looking deeply into her eyes, 'You believe me, Jermaine?' he asked.

  She looked back at him, her insides all of a tremble at the warmth and sincerity in his grey eyes. 'I believe you,' she said simply, and felt her bones go weak when the most wonderful smile lit his face.

  She thought for a moment that he was going to take her in his arms, but he checked, and instead said. Then now, my dear, dear, Jermaine, may we have that discussion which I'd hoped to have several hours ago back at Highfield?'

  Jermaine swallowed. The—um—one...?'

  The one that began with the two of us meeting, if you cared anything for me,' he encouraged. 'You had intended to be there—at our bench?'

  Jermaine smiled a shy smile. 'I couldn't sleep either. I was early leaving my room.'

  'Darling,' he breathed, and did then gather her in his arms. 'I love you so much,' he murmured. 'I was at the bench well before eight-thirty. At nine o'clock I bleakly returned to the house, not wanting to believe what I had to believe—that you cared nothing for me.'

  'You waited in the cold for over half an hour!' she exclaimed.

  'I couldn't believe you wouldn't come hurrying around the corner. Still didn't believe it when I got back to the house. I went up to your room; your case had gone, your belongings had gone—everything except that painting I gave you. It seemed to me then that you had quite clearly given me your answer. But, just as I was starting to despair. Ash rang and said he had you with him and that he had never seen you so upset.'

  'You told him to delay getting me back here so as to give you time to get here first?'

  'Too true. I told him to drive miles out of his way, call at any house as if he had business there if he had to. I'm sorry, my love,' Lukas said softly, 'but I wasn't ready to admit defeat. I just couldn't, or wouldn't, believe I'd got it so wrong. Arrogant it may be, but, after last night, I just couldn't accept what seemed to be staring me in the face. I chased after you, torn between fury that any woman could make me feel the turned-inside-out way I was feeling— and anxiety in case I lost you.'

  Lost her! Her heart was thundering. 'D-did you—um—know you said you—loved me?' she asked huskily.

  Lukas, unsmiling, stared into her shy eyes. 'You're embarrassed by my feelings for you?' he asked stiffly.

  'Oh, no! No,' she assured him swiftly.

  But Still he would not smile. 'Then may I take it that, contrary to what you would have had me believe a few hours ago, you do care a little?' he asked tensely.

  Jermaine looked solemnly back at him. 'Um—more than a little, actually,' she answered.

  Lukas stared at her, unsmiling still, for perhaps about another two seconds. Then, 'Come here,' he ordered—and as he gathered her in his arms she willingly obeyed.

  Perhaps five or maybe ten minutes passed while they clung to each other, the pain of parting eased, the anxiety they had endured soothed away. Then gently, tenderly, Lukas kissed her.

  'I love you so much,' he breathed. Time spent away from you leaves such a void it's like a physical pain. I've felt so empty apart from you.' Jermaine could barely believe her ears, and yet it was all there—his love—in his eyes, his face, his hold. 'You wouldn't mind elucidating a bit on the fact that you care for me ''more than a little," I suppose?' he queried, and seemed to be sorely in need to hear more.Although they were words she'd never spoken before, and she felt shy to utter them, it was because of his need to hear them, that she told Lukas, 'Well, to be honest, the plain truth is—I love you—um—very much.'

  'Sweet love!' And with that joyous cry Lukas held her and kissed her, and kissed her and held her. For a short while he seemed content just to hold her close, to glory in being able to hold her this close to his heart as all barriers started to tumble down. 'When?' he asked.

  Jermaine drew back. 'Not at first.' She smiled.

  'Certainly not at first,' he agreed. 'I wasn't at all nice to you.'

  'You were a pig!'

  'You're gorgeous.' He grinned, and kissed her. 'When?' he repeated, and she laughed from the pure joy of being with him. Seeing her laugh, he just had to kiss her again.

  'When?' she asked.

  'Cheat,' he replied, but willingly told her, 'Soon after you came to stay that first time, I think.'

  'Back then?'

  He nodded. 'We were working, yet when always before I've tended to be thoroughly absorbed in my work, I found that Friday with you there in the study with me I was repeatedly losing my concentration. You're so incredibly beautiful, my love, I found I kept looking over to you time and time again.' He kissed the tip of her nose, and smiled as he went on, 'Experience has taught me that outer beauty can hide an inner ugliness, but, given that you'd given me some lip, I just knew that you were beautiful throughout. When I started to get peeved that there seemed to be something going on between you and Ash, I had to face up to it—I was just a tiny bit attracted to you.'

  Jermaine's eyes were shining with her love for Lukas as she looked at him. 'Anything between Ash and me was over before I met you,' she said gently.

  'I know. I've known for some time.' He hesitated, and then confessed. That didn't stop me from being tormented by jealousy again last night when he kissed you.'

  'You were jealous!' she exclaimed.

  'Not for the first time,' he agreed. 'If it wasn't Ash gnawing at my gut, it was your friend Stuart.'

  'Stuart!' She had to laugh. 'Stuart's a friend, a work colleague,' she explained. 'We're pals, nothing more.'

  'I'm relieved to hear it' Lukas answered. 'Do you kiss all your work colleagues?' he wanted to know.

  'As a matter of fact, I—don't,' she laughed. But sobered to quickly assure him, 'You've absolutely no need to be jealous of Stuart—or Ash either,' she thought she should mention.

  'I realise that now. In fact, I knew last night about Ash, when you said that he wanted the two of you to be friends.'

  'You did?'

  'Ash and I settled matters when I decided I'd have to have a talk with him about you. Only seeing him kiss you last night, as you so rightly guessed, had that green-eyed monster jealousy letting me know what for.'

  Jermaine stretched up and kissed him, but pulled back to exclaim, 'You decided to have a talk with him about me?'

  'It had to come,' Lukas said. 'It was the last Saturday when you were at Highfield. Ash hadn't known you were coming and said he hoped you weren't dashing back to London. You replied that you were staying to type up the report on my Swedish trip.' At that juncture Lukas stopped, and then asked, 'Are you going to hate me if I tell you what Ash already knew—but you didn't?'

  'I hope not,' she answered warily. And pressed cautiously, 'What did Ash know that I didn't?'

  'He knew that I'd taken my PA with me to Sweden. Phyllis Gladstone's name is a byword for efficiency. He knew as soon as you mentioned that I'd asked you to type the report on my Swedish trip I was up to something.'

  Jermaine owned herself lost. 'Up to something?'

  'Oh, dear,' Lukas murmured. 'Confession tim
e is at hand.' Though first he gently kissed her, then pulled back to reveal, 'Don't hate me, sweet love, but Ash instantly knew that Phyllis Gladstone would have had that report already typed and ready for action before we'd even left Sweden.'

  Jermaine's mouth dropped open. 'You...? She...? It was already typed?' she questioned incredulously. 'But—but why did you need it typing again?'

  'I didn't. What I did need was some time alone with you.'

  'You mean...?' Her stunned brain came rapidly awake. 'You're saying you—invented that work...?'

  'So I could have your company all to myself without your sister batting her eyes at my wallet, or my brother trying to make off with you.'

  'Good heavens!' Jermaine gasped. His lips moved upwards, and she loved him all over again. So she kissed him, was kissed in return, and totally forgot for the moment what they had been talking about. But, suddenly remembering, she recalled, 'You went—that afternoon—you went with Ash to view his new property.'

  'I went with Ash because the time to have things out with him could no longer wait.'

  'H-have things out with him?' she echoed, faintly staggered that things seemed to have been going on of which she knew nothing.

  'My darling girl,' Lukas said softly. 'I'd taken you to an art gallery the evening before, and, watching various emotions cross your lovely face, hearing you laugh your lovely laugh, I started to fall head over heels in love with you. By the time I'd brought you back here, while knowing I had to go away on Monday until Christmas Eve, I was so much in love with you I just couldn't face going away and not seeing you again.'

  Her mouth fell open. 'That was when—that night we were having dinner—you'd just swopped your meal with mine because I thought yours looked better, and you laughed—and I fell in love with you,' she confessed.

  'Oh, love,' he breathed, and gathered her closer, kissing her hair. 'Would you have come to Highfield the next day, had I not invented Mrs Dobson needing help?'

  Jermaine laughed. 'Of course,' she admitted. But, as she suddenly realized what he was saying, 'You already knew Mrs Dobson had all the help she needed?' she accused.

  'Guilty as charged,' he agreed with a smile. Though that smile was totally absent when, going back to his discussion with his brother that Saturday, he explained, 'By the time Ash and I set off, ostensibly to do some house-viewing, all I knew was that I loved you so much that if Ash loved you too this would be one time when I would not be able to assist him all the way.'

  'Ash doesn't love me,' Jermaine put in quietly.

  'I knew that as soon as he admitted the truth of his behavior. I'd no idea until he told me that he'd been going out with you and succumbing to your sister's charms at the same time.'

  'Didn't I say?'

  'You know you didn't,' Lukas answered tenderly. 'I can't see you putting the dirt down about either Edwina or Ash. But my anger with him that he could have treated you so was tempered by the fact that, if he could treat you like that, then he certainly didn't love you the heart-and-soul way that I love you.'

  'Oh, Lukas,' Jermaine whispered, and received a wonderfully tender kiss in retum.

  'So, having established that Ash is extremely fond of you, I had his blessing to tell you of my love for you and...'

  'You told Ash that you loved me?' she asked surprised.

  Lukas nodded. 'He'd guessed—with regard to the lack of necessity of you and I spending time alone in my study—that something was going on.' He paused, and then revealed, 'Ash wished me well. You don't hold his behavior against him? he asked.

  'No,' she said simply. 'He was a little gem helping me today. And,' she added as an afterthought, 'phoning you behind my back to let you know what was going on.'

  The both smiled. Smiled and kissed, and kissed some more, holding each other tightly as though wanting nothing to come between

  them ever again. 'You'll never know the relief it is not to have that jealous demon perched on my shoulder,' Lukas confessed, planting a delicious kiss on the corner of her mouth.

  'Er—I've had my jealous moments too,' Jermaine felt honour-bound to confess.

  'You have?' he queried delightedly.

  'You needn't look so pleased,' she laughed. Lukas loved her. Wasn't that just too wonderful? 'Beverley Marshall,' she announced. 'I thought Beverley was a "she".'

  'You felt jealousy before you knew? Back then?' he asked incredulously.

  'I wasn't calling it that at the time,' she owned. 'But I thought you were out with some female named Beverley when one night at Highfield I was at dinner but you weren't.'

  'It was a Saturday,' Lukas instantly recalled. 'I'd kissed you and, for my sins, was feeling slightly adrift. I didn't like the feeling—I've always been the one in charge,' he inserted self-deprecatingly. 'I decided I needed to get away from you for a while.' Jermaine was still staring at him wide eyed, when he prodded, 'But tell me more.'

  'You mean who else was I jealous of besides Beverley? There was Edwina, of course,' she admitted slowly.

  His expression grew serious. 'I was never remotely interested in her,' he assured her gravely.'

  'I know—now,' Jermaine said quickly. 'It was just that, well, when you phoned her from Sweden...'

  'I didn't phone her, I rang Ash,' Lukas cut in. 'Edwina happened to answer the phone.'

  Hearing him say that caused Jermaine to wonder why she hadn't worked that out for herself. Edwina was a past master at hints, evasions and downright untruths. 'I'm sorry,' Jermaine apologised. 'You'd think by now that I'd know better...' She broke off. But when, from loyalty to her sister, she would have left it there, she suddenly realised that from now on Lukas was the most important person in her life, and that because that was so she wanted none of her sister's past barbs and upsets to come between her and the man Jermaine loved. 'I've been...'

  'You've been, my darling?' Lukas encouraged.

  'A fool, mainly,' she admitted. 'Getting all stewed up that you kissed me that Friday when you returned from Sweden but then went home to Edwina. When, since she was a guest in your home, where else would she be? Even if

  it was late when you arrived back at Highfield...'

  'And found Edwina lying in wait, as it were. Sorry, sweetheart, I know she's your sister, but you're the one I'm going to marry, and I'm not having you upset...' He broke off at the stunned look on Jermaine's face. 'What?' he questioned urgently. 'What...?'

  'Do you know what you've just said?' she gasped.

  'Explaining about having to be nice to your sister because she is just that—your sister? I'm sorry, my love, but I can spot a money-grabber from a mile off. I don't want to hurt you, sweet love, but I want nothing to cloud what we have. I want you to know exactly how it was— is—with me. How I've been love-sick to see you. How I wanted quite desperately to phone you while I was away the last time, only to discover that—having never been in love before—my self-confidence had taken such a hammering I was scared to ring in case the call went all wrong, and I'd be left stuck overseas feeling even worse and more love-sick than ever.'

  'Oh!' Jermaine gasped on a whisper of sound. Dared she believe she was hearing what she was hearing; had she heard what she thought she had heard?

  'My dear love,' he went on tenderly, 'I was hoping with all I had that you'd come back to Highfield with me yesterday—Mrs Dobson has been on red alert to have your room ready ever since I knew where my heart lay.'

  Jermaine's eyes were saucer wide. 'Oh!' she gasped faintly again.

  'Christmas Day was the worst of my life,' he went on to reveal. 'I wanted you with me, and, since that hadn't happened, I wanted no other company. Edwina was my guest, but I found there was only so much of her wittering I could take. So I prevailed on Ash to keep her company while I shut myself in my study and planned various courses of action if you refused to come back with me the next day.'

  'Oh, Lukas,' Jermaine sighed.

  'Jermaine,' he
murmured, and kissed her, and confessed, 'And when, glory of glories, you did come back with me, I started to get all chewed up that if Edwina left you wouldn't see any reason to say on at Highfield either.'

  'So you asked her to stay as long as she liked,' Jermaine put in, her heart racing.

  'I don't think I put it quite like that, but since it was you I wanted in my home I might well have gone over the top a bit in my bid to get closer to you—to have you with me for ever.'

  For ever! Her heart did not merely race, it jumped and sped, and her throat went dry. 'Er...' she tried.

  'What?' Lukas pressed when she seemed stuck for words. 'You know you can tell me anything, ask me anything—we are as one now.'

  Oh, my heavens! As one! ' —er—well, did you say what I thought you said?'

  Tell me,' he said urgently. 'If I've said something wrong, I'll mend...'

  'You said something about marrying me, and...' His stunned expression caused her to break off, and she went scarlet. 'I'm sorry,' she said quickly. 'I misheard.' She went to stand up, but Lukas had no intention of letting her

  go.

  'There's nothing wrong with your hearing,' he swiftly let her know.

  'You're shocked?'

  'True,' he agreed, holding her fast when again she tried to get away. 'But only because I've just realised that, as proposals go, I didn't do that very well. Forgive me, my darling,' he urged. 'There's been such a welter of anxiety

  within me, a need to clear away all misunderstandings—a need, basically, to get you to be willing to see me as a suitor—that I've missed the most important part.' Tenderly, then, Lukas looked into her wide violet eyes. 'I love you so much, Jermaine,' he told her quietly. 'And you've said that you love me. So am I hoping for too much, do you think, by asking you to marry me?'