Forgiven

by Karen Kingsbury

  Cole was playing at a friend’s house and Landon was at work, so if she was going to make a visit to the hospital it had to be now. Without giving the idea much more thought, she grabbed her car keys and headed for the garage. She was backing out when she stopped and gazed into the gray sky. “God . . . use me.” It was a prayer she uttered often now that she understood life better. God had a purpose for everything, and on this day—as difficult as it would be—He would have a reason for her being there.

  She pulled into the hospital parking lot, found a space to park, and walked into the lobby. They were in regular rooms now, and only Sarah Jo was still in intensive care, which meant limited visitors. Sometimes none. That part didn’t matter, because Ashley wasn’t planning to visit the injured. She wanted to see Katy Hart and the families, make sure everyone was okay and let them know she cared.

  She made her way up in the elevator and past the desk. Her father had told her that while the others were improving, Sarah Jo’s condition remained extremely critical. Ashley moved quietly down the hall of the intensive care unit and into the waiting room. It was empty except for Katy.

  “Ashley . . .” Katy stood and hugged her. There was a catch in her voice. “You missed the crowd.”

  “Crowd?” Ashley sat down next to Katy and turned slightly so they were facing each other.

  Katy’s eyes were red-rimmed and swollen. “A bunch of the teens from CKT came down for about an hour.” She shrugged and tried to smile. “Just praying, being together. Hoping they could make a difference somehow.”

  “Who was here?” Ashley set her bag on the floor. She still wasn’t sure she should’ve come, but at least she was the only other one in the room. Maybe Katy needed someone to talk to.

  “Tim Reed and Bailey and Connor Flanigan. Four of the Pick kids and the Shaffers.”

  Ashley nodded, allowing silence for a moment. Then she looked back through the door toward the hallway. “What’s the latest?”

  “Alice Stryker’s in and out of consciousness, but they’re seeing improvements. Her husband’s in with her.” Katy folded her hands tightly. Her knuckles looked white against her jeans. “Actually he goes back and forth between Sarah Jo’s room and his wife’s.”

  “What about her brother, Joey?”

  Katy’s eyes lit up some. “He’s doing better. They’ll probably discharge him today.” A shadow fell over her expression. “He’ll stay with the Reed family so his dad can be with Alice and Sarah Jo. They don’t have any other family in the area.”

  Ashley stared at her shoes. The poor boy. How would Cole handle that? Staying with people he didn’t know, being out of touch about what was happening at the hospital, not knowing when his family would be together again or if they ever would. She shuddered and lifted her eyes to Katy’s. “What about the Hanovers?”

  “Brandy should be released today too. Her leg’s in a cast, and she has a wrap around her rib cage. They told her about Ben last night.” She shook her head. “I saw her this morning, and she was still crying. The two of them . . . they were very close.”

  There was only one person left to talk about. Ashley didn’t want to ask, didn’t want to hear that the news was bad and getting worse. Finally she couldn’t wait another moment. “Sarah Jo?”

  Katy opened her mouth to talk, but then she closed it. A sob came from her chest, and she looked away.

  Ashley put her arms around her and hugged her, rocking her for nearly a minute. “We can’t give up.” Her own voice was low and filled with sorrow. “If I’ve learned anything from God, it’s that God still works miracles.”

  Katy coughed and massaged her throat. “Sarah Jo’s in bad shape, Ashley. Her brain swelled a lot after the accident.” She coughed again. “She has brain damage.”

  “Still . . .” Ashley gave Katy’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “She’s alive. We have to hold on to that.”

  “I keep seeing her up there onstage, playing Becky Thatcher, singing her heart out.” Katy could talk better now, but tears flooded her eyes. “Her mother was so worried about her future.”

  “She sort of missed out on the moment.”

  “Exactly.” Katy sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I’ve been in to see Alice a few times, and she’s pretty out of it. She mumbles, but she doesn’t really know where she is, what’s going on. The doctors want her pretty sedated until her stats are better.” A weak smile lightened Katy’s expression. “So tell me about you, Ashley. What miracle did God work in your life?”

  Ashley had wanted this time from the first day she met Katy. The two had a connection that she sometimes felt with other artists. So far the little time she’d shared with Katy had been spent laughing. But no friendship was ever real until it also connected in the sad times. She looked out the window and drew a slow breath. “It’s a long story.” She looked at Katy again. “I was the bane of the Baxter family for a lot of years.”

  “Really?” Katy tucked her legs up on the seat and wrapped her arms around her knees. “I never would’ve thought that.”

  Ashley smiled. “My mom died last year; you know that. I’ll always be so glad things turned around before I lost her. We were very close.” She settled back in her seat and found a place near the beginning of her story, back when she was the Baxter child who dressed differently and acted differently and did everything she could to resist Landon Blake’s interest.

  The story unfolded, all of it. Over the next hour she told Katy about leaving for Paris, meeting Jean-Claude, and seeing him even though he was married. She told her about coming home pregnant and how she and her brother, Luke—after a childhood of being close—were nearly enemies for the next few years.

  She talked about Sunset Hills Adult Care Home and how her elderly friends there had changed her perspective. “Especially one woman, Irvel. She taught me how to love. Her husband had been dead for years, but every day she walked with him in her memories, thought of him, and expected him to come home again.” Ashley hesitated, picturing Landon. “Irvel showed me that I wouldn’t be happy until I found that kind of forever love.”

  “Forever love.” Katy angled her head. “I guess that’s what we’re all looking for.”

  Ashley explained how the tragedy of September 11 had made her realize the truth about Landon—that he was the only man she’d ever really cared about. But that time was followed quickly by her health scare. “My health didn’t matter to Landon. He wanted to marry no matter how much time we had together.”

  “See . . .” Katy bit her lip. “That’s real love. Living in the moment, knowing that even if you only have today together, that would be enough.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I haven’t found that, not yet.” Katy’s eyes grew distant. “I had it once . . . at least I thought I did.”

  A nurse stuck her head into the waiting room. “Has anyone seen Mr. Stryker?”

  Katy let her feet slip down to the floor. “No, I haven’t seen him. Have you tried all three rooms? He has his wife and two kids here.”

  “I know.” The woman’s forehead was lined, her expression concerned. “I’ve checked. If you see him, ask him to report in at the nurses’ station, okay?”

  “I will.” Katy gulped. “Is there a change? with one of his family?”

  The woman shook her head. “You need to get that information from the family.” She hurried on her way.

  Katy stared at Ashley. “That can’t be good.”

  “It might be nothing. They might be ready to release Joey, and they can’t do it without Mr. Stryker.”

  “True.” Katy looked at the empty doorway. Then she turned to Ashley again. “Talking with you helps pass the time. I can’t go home and wait. Not until we know something more about Sarah Jo.”

  Ashley shifted and remembered where they were in the conversation. “You were telling me about the one time you had that sort of forever love.”

  “Right. Tad was his name. We met in high school and started dating in college.” Katy’s anxious expressio
n lifted as she talked about Tad and the fun they had doing theater together and how he got a big break in the movie industry. But then the tone of the story grew sad. “Hollywood changed him.” She squinted at the sunlight now streaming through the window. “He died of a drug overdose three years ago.”

  Understanding dawned in Ashley’s soul. No wonder she’d felt a connection to Katy Hart. They’d both survived loss and come out on the other side. She touched Katy’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

  Katy looked at her again. “It wouldn’t have worked out anyway. He partied hard on location, lots of girls and beer and obviously drugs.” She allowed a sad smile. “It’s left me a little jaded toward Hollywood.”

  “I guess.”

  The waiting room was quiet, warmed by the splash of sunshine. After a while, Katy said, “Can I tell you something?”

  “Sure.”

  “Almost no one knows about this.” She did a half chuckle. “Last July I went to Los Angeles and auditioned for the lead part in a movie with Dayne Matthews.” Her eyes held disbelief. “I almost took the part.”

  “Dayne Matthews? He’s one of the clients at my brother’s law firm.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. Luke met him a year ago when he was on location in New York.”

  “He’s a nice guy.” Katy nodded slowly and let the story unfold. She talked about getting the phone call from the casting director and heading out to Hollywood for the first read. When that was successful, she went again for an on-camera audition with Dayne. Katy’s cheeks grew pink as she talked about the scene calling for a kiss and how they’d pulled it off in a way that thrilled the director.

  “Kind of surreal, I bet.” Ashley was caught up in the story. “Did the two of you talk much after the audition?”

  “We had a picnic one day, and—I don’t know—it felt like we were getting close. Then the weirdest thing happened.” Fear played in Katy’s eyes, and she talked about going to the beach one evening and the crazed fan who attacked them with a knife. “I’ll have to go back to Hollywood next May for the trial. The whole thing scared me to death. I turned down the part and headed home.” She smiled. “Where I belong.”

  “Wow . . . that’s amazing.” Ashley tried to picture the scene at the beach. “How’d Dayne hear about you?”

  “That’s the strange part.” A few nurses walked by in the corridor. When they’d passed, Katy continued. “The first time I saw him was right here at our theater. We were at the end of our final performance for Charlie Brown, and he came in and sat in the back row.”

  Ashley was surprised. “What was he doing here?”

  “He wouldn’t say.” Katy reached for a bottle of water on the table beside her. “Scouting locations . . . visiting someone. I don’t know.”

  “Have you talked to him since you’ve been back?” Ashley was intrigued by the story. How often did a small-town girl get a call from Hollywood?

  “No.” Her expression held a resolve that said she’d made up her mind. “His world could never mix with mine. Not that he was interested, really.” She didn’t hide the disappointment in her voice. “He’s living with Kelly Parker now. She took the part I turned down.”

  “Oh.” The intrigue faded. “I guess the tabloids are right. Wild nights, bizarre fans, and a different girl all the time. They’re all the same.”

  Katy had a faraway look in her eyes. “I thought he was different.” She smiled, but it didn’t ease the sadness in her expression. “Obviously not.”

  Ashley looked at her watch. “I have to pick up my little boy from a friend’s house pretty soon. Guess I better go.”

  “Thanks for keeping me company.” Katy took a sip of her water and set the bottle back down. She stood and slipped her hands in the back pockets of her jeans. “The minutes feel like hours sitting here alone, just waiting.”

  “I’ll be in touch. Maybe I can come back tomorrow.”

  The two hugged, and Ashley made her way past the nurses’ station and down the elevator. As she walked to her car, she felt a burden lift from her shoulders. She was glad she’d come, glad she’d taken time to spend an hour at the hospital. Nothing had changed with the injured, and she hadn’t been able to help with the Hanovers or the Strykers. But she’d done something else.

  She’d made a friend.

  Katy crossed the waiting room floor and stared out the window at the parking lot. She watched Ashley climb into her car and drive away. It felt good sharing an hour with her, talking about Tad and Dayne and the events that had led to her place with Christian Kids Theater. Ashley was wonderful, kind and funny with an artist’s eye for detail. And she’d been through hard times herself—more than Katy would’ve guessed.

  She turned and faced the doorway. Had the nurse found Mr. Stryker? And why was she looking for him, anyway? For the past two days she’d never gone more than an hour without an update. Usually Mr. Stryker or the Hanovers would stop in and tell her about any changes or what the doctors were hoping for.

  The families had given her permission to visit any of the injured. Katy wanted to go see Sarah Jo, but the girl could have only limited stimulation. Instead she took the elevator down to the second floor and walked to Alice Stryker’s room. The woman was sleeping, so Katy kept her steps as quiet as possible as she entered. Wires ran from both her arms, and a constant beeping filled the room.

  Katy came up to the side of her bed and took the woman’s hand. “Hello, Alice.” Her voice was low and soft. “You’re doing so much better. Just a few more days and you’ll be up and around.”

  Alice moaned. She slowly moved her head from one side of the pillow to the other. “Sarah Jo . . .” Compassion rang in the woman’s tone, and that brought another wave of sorrow for Katy. Why hadn’t she shown that sort of compassion for Sarah Jo before the accident?

  Katy leaned in a little closer. “It’s okay. Sarah Jo’s getting the best possible help.”

  Mr. Stryker entered the room then, his face lined with weariness and fear. He must’ve heard her, because he nodded. “She’s getting wonderful help.”

  “Have you seen Sarah Jo?”

  “Yes.” He grabbed his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. His eyes shifted to Alice and then back to Katy. “Can you come out in the hall for a minute?”

  Katy braced herself for whatever was coming. She followed Mr. Stryker into the hall and down a ways, out of earshot of Alice. Katy searched his eyes. “Is Sarah Jo worse?”

  “Yes.” He fell against the wall and dropped his head in his hands. He stayed that way for a few seconds. Then he lifted his eyes to hers. “She’s in bad shape, Katy. Her brain isn’t responding at all.”

  A heaviness settled over Katy’s heart. She drew a quick breath, holding back her tears. “We can’t give up.”

  “That’s what I keep telling myself.” He motioned toward Alice’s room. “Let’s get back inside.”

  They did, and Mr. Stryker moved to one side of the bed. “They’re easing the sedation. Her stats are good, and she’s out of danger.” He brushed a section of hair off his wife’s forehead and looked up at Katy. “I don’t know how she’s going to take the news.”

  An arrow of fear sliced through the moment. Katy was trying to think of something positive, something that would give them reason to believe that Sarah Jo would be all right.

  But before she could, Alice Stryker moaned again. This time her eyelids moved just enough to be noticeable. “Sarah Jo . . .”

  It was all she seemed to say. Despite the sedation and the trauma from the accident, did Alice know Sarah Jo was in the worst trouble?

  Katy took a step back and let Mr. Stryker handle the moment. He leaned in and took Alice’s hand. “Honey, I’m here. You’re okay. Joey’s okay too. He gets to leave the hospital today.”

  Alice blinked and her eyes opened partway. First in slow movements, then in faster, more anxious ones. She looked around the room until she saw her husband. “Where’s . . . Sarah Jo?”

  “She’
s here . . .” Mr. Stryker’s eyes filled. He swallowed hard, struggling to keep his composure. “You were in an accident, Alice. You’re in the hospital, same with the kids.” He gripped the bed rail with his free hand. “Joey’s okay, and . . . and they’re working on Sarah Jo.”

  As the news reached past the drugged surface of her brain, Alice began to moan louder. She rolled her head from one side of the pillow to the other and raised her shoulders, as if she wanted out of the bed.

  Mr. Stryker shot Katy a look across the bed and said, “Maybe you could go check on Sarah Jo.”

  Katy left, horrified. How were the two of them going to cope? If Sarah Jo’s brain showed no activity, then . . .

  She refused to think about it, even as she took the elevator back up to the third floor and walked down the hallway to Sarah Jo’s room. A doctor and two nurses were talking in hushed tones outside her door.

  “Is it okay if I—?” Katy pointed to the room. “Her father wanted me to check on her.”

  The doctor looked like he was about to say no, but then his expression eased. “Please hurry. We just sent a message down to Mr. Stryker, asking him to come up.” He glanced into the room at Sarah Jo and motioned for Katy to go ahead. “Just a minute or so, all right?”

  “Yes. Thank you.” Katy stepped inside the room and drew a soft gasp as she looked at Sarah Jo. The girl was beyond pale, her head wrapped in bandages. Because of the swelling of her face, nothing about her was recognizable. Katy shifted her gaze to the machines and saw the numbers. She knew very little about hospitals and vital statistics, but she thought Sarah Jo’s blood-pressure numbers seemed low.

  Suddenly the reality hit her square on. Sarah Jo was failing. She must be. Why else would the doctor and nurses be gathered around Sarah Jo’s room looking somber and calling her father up to see her? Katy felt small and defeated. Since she’d gotten the news of the accident, she’d believed with all her heart that Sarah Jo would be okay. The girl had been so alive, with all of life unfolding before her.