Biting Winds

by Shawna Ireland

  Chapter 13

  Several days passed, and Jessie had not seen Sangio or his vehicle in his campsite, but his tent was still there, so she held a minuscule amount of optimism that he would return. Even then, what would she say to him? She was humiliated, and though she understood his anger was not directed towards her, she didn’t understand why he disappeared without saying goodbye. He probably thought she was weak for staying with Dave after the beating. Why wouldn't he? It's what she was starting to think of herself as she ran around the campsite making sure everything was perfect for Dave. Pretending that she wasn't crushed by his cynical jokes as he called them, or cutting remarks when it was obvious that she didn't do something to his likings.

  “Idiot!” Jessie regrettably realized she insulted herself out loud.

  “What did you call me?” Dave was stunned by her audacity.

  In all probability, he assumed she was talking about the uncalculated misses he was swinging as he tried to split the wood with a small ax for the eveningcampfire. Instead of logs, Dave was chopping chunks of bark.

  “Sorry, I was talking to myself. I almost cut myself.” This was almost the truth.

  Jessie was so preoccupied with Sangio, and feeling pretty idiotic for thinking that she had any business wondering about a man while on her honeymoon, despite the fact that she intended to leave Dave the first opportunity that came along. Opportunity meaning a working vehicle and gas money to get back to Los Angeles, but Dave had still been unable, or unwilling, to produce the keys. Besides, what was the likelihood that Sangio felt the same magnetic pull to be around her as she felt about him. Maybe he just felt sorry for her, but couldn't wait to get away from her drama. At this point, even friendship seemed like a far stretch now.

  Dave shook his head, unconvinced, but decided against a fight and went back to mutilating the wood as if it were his enemy.

  Jessie went back to chopping salad fixings and continued her internal self-loathing. The sound of rocks and dirt crunching under a slow moving car tire caught her attention. Most cars drove fast, so she looked up and saw Sangio's car driving slowly past her campsite. The windows were tinted so she couldn't see him, but she felt him staring into the campsite.

  “There’s our friend,” Dave called out as he wiped his brow. “I haven’t seen him in a few days.”

  Jessie said nothing. The knot in her chest was too tight to allow air passage.

  “You feeling ok, Jess? You look pale.”

  “I think I’m going to be sick,” Jessie mumbled, holding her stomach with one hand, and steadying herself on the table with the other. “I just need to lie down for a second.”

  Jessie laid on the bed in the tent, focusing on slowing down her breathing. She was frightened. She was scared that Sangio was still angry and wouldn’t want to be bothered with her. Or that he would confront Dave about the bruises and there would be an altercation, but honestly, why would Sangio even care enough to get involved. Jessie was fearful that she lost the only friend she had since leaving everyone she knew behind in Los Angeles, but most of all, she was terrified because she felt so intensely about him, and needed to see him.

  Jessie quickly emerged from the tent, telling Dave that she was going to use the restroom, but marched directly to Sangio’s cove, prepared to confront the man who owed her nothing, about why he left without saying goodbye. His car was there, but he wasn’t.

  “Sangio?” Jessie called into the cove, loud enough for Sangio to hear, but quiet enough to ensure that Dave would not. When he didn’t answer, Jessie miserably walked to the bathrooms, dragging her feet and mumbling under her breath like a spoiled child.

  Sangio was sitting on the same bench she had sat on just a few days prior, when he took her to the cliff. He looked amused, grinning at Jessie as if nothing was wrong. Jessie quickened her pace and made a beeline straight towards him, angry.

  “You left me,” she accused, immediately realizing she had no right to her anger, lowering her head. “I mean, you left. Camp. Why?” softening her approach just a tad, but still unwilling to look at Sangio.

  “I had some business to attend to prepare my way home. But you are angry with me?”

  “It’s stupid, I know. I just, I looked forward to seeing you. I thought, well you were my only friend. Then you got angry and left. I didn’t know if you were..." Jessie trailed off.

  “Coming back?” Sangio finished.

  “Yes, coming back.”

  “And how did that make you feel?” Sangio transformed from flattery to seriousness, walking closer to Jessie.

  She turned away, not prepared to answer.

  “Tell me, Jessica. How did you feel when you thought I was gone?”

  “I was devastated,” she murmured, slowly looking up into his face, surprised at her own response. “It’s wrong, isn’t it? To care if I ever saw you again?”

  “What is it that feels wrong about it?”

  Jessie contemplated the question before answering. “I’m married. That’s what makes it wrong. I’m a newly married woman on her honeymoon. That’s why it feels wrong.”

  “No, Jessica. It’s not the fact that you cared whether you saw me again that makes it wrong. It is your marriage that feels wrong. It is the deceit and pain forced on you by a man that you committed your life to. The one who vowed to honor and protect you. The same coward that covered you with bruises. That is what is wrong. Not me. Not how we feel.”

  “We?”

  “Yes, we. Though I shouldn't speak for you,” Sangio confirmed as he gestured Jessie to enter the empty bathroom. “Sit. You’re shaking.”

  Jessie sat on the shower bench quietly, absorbing the grim reality of the horrific mistake she made marrying Dave.

  "How long has he been abusing you?" Sangio asked.

  "Just once, the night we got married. I pissed him off-"

  "Stop!" Sangio held up his hand. "Do not put a reason behind it. It's not because you pissed him off. It's something deeper inside of him. People get pissed off every day, but you do not see them beating each other."

  "I never thought it would be me here, in this position. I keep expecting something to click in my brain and realize how terribly wrong this is, and to walk away. But my world changed so fast, and my mind is trying to make sense of how I got here."

  "Now isn't the time to make sense of things."

  "But how could I have been this stupid? This drastically wrong?" Jessie shook her head while letting tears fall on to her lap.

  "You know the answer to this already, Jessica. People like Dave have spent years perfecting their reputations. Their manipulation and control. Don't own this. Despite the obvious fact that you are a victim to this madness, his behavior has nothing to do with you."

  "I don't even recognize myself. Why am I not walking away? Running for that matter?"

  "Shock? Seclusion? I can think of a thousand more reasonable explanations that have you feeling stuck and alone. But none of them are true. You aren't alone."

  "You left," Jessie accused.

  "I know," Sangio admitted. "I had to. It took every single ounce of control I could muster not to tear into your tent and kill Dave. There was no way I could have been anywhere close to you without hurting him. And that's what real men do. When you feel anger, or rage you walk away."

  "I didn't think you were coming back."

  "And I truthfully didn't want to. I honestly was considering making my way home and forgetting all about meeting you."

  "So, why did you come back?" Jessie asked, wiping tears from her eyes.

  "Because the longer I stayed away, the stronger my need to come back was. I chastised myself for leaving, and I chastised myself for coming back. Do you remember the day I met you?" Sangio asked.

  "I was chasing squirrels," Jessie answered, laughing at herself.

  "I haven't stopped thinking about you since that day. You made me laugh."

  "I'm not sure that's a compliment."

  "I assure you it is. I can't tell you
the last time I laughed. But it wasn't just that. I could tell, I could feel that you were an honest-to-goodness genuine person. That's hard to come by. When you smiled I felt my stomach drop like a high school boy. Add the beauty, quick wit, and humor, and I found myself with the traits of a creepy, old man. Do you think it was a coincidence that Dave bumped into me at the bar?"

  "You set that up?"

  "I did."

  "I wasn't sure you felt the same way. I've felt so guilty because I couldn't stop thinking about you. And I tried, believe me. I grew up believing in marriage, being faithful, and I took my vows seriously. But you wouldn't get out of my thoughts. You have been the best part of my marriage. Sad, huh?"

  "Yes, it is sad."

  "I just don't know where to go from here."

  “Leave with me, Jessica,” Sangio suggested, catching her completely off guard.

  “I can’t just leave. Can I?”

  “You can, and you deserve to. That pathetic man has no rights to have you in his life after what he did to you. He didn't hit you. He beat you. He does not get a second chance to hurt you again. You do not have to be with me, Jessica. Regardless of that decision, leave with me and let me take you somewhere safe.”

  They sat together in the bathroom, ignoring rapping on the door from fellow campers. Jessie cried quietly into her hands, and Sangio sat silently, hoping she agreed, but knowing he had no right to ask this of her, for he too was not what he appeared and would prove deceitful once she knew what he was.

  “I need some time to think about it," Jessie answered, worried that Sangio would leave without her.

  "Take all the time you need," Sangio offered. "Do you want me to stay away?"

  "No," Jessie admitted. "I need your friendship. Is that selfish to ask?"

  "It's not selfish. It's what I would prefer. Well, what I would really prefer is that you do not be alone with Dave, but I respect your choice."

  "Will you come to dinner tonight?" Jessie invited.

  "I'm not hungry, but I'll come later this evening. Maybe we can get Dave drunk again," Sangio winked.

  "You planned that too?" Jessie was shocked but pleased.

  "I plead the fifth. Now get back to camp before Dave comes looking for you." Sangio said unlocking the door.

  "I didn't think about that. What if he's already out there?" Jessie worried.

  "He's not," Sangio assured her. "I would have smelled his stench."

  Jessie headed up to camp feeling lighter than she had since arriving at the campgrounds. She knew she had to make a decision, but she was tired of thinking for now.

  Chapter 14

  For the second time, found herself sitting in front of the fire reading her novel, eagerly awaiting her company. She told Dave that she bumped into Sangio on her way to the bathroom and that Sangio mentioned stopping by this evening. She felt guilty about lying because she had always believed in honesty and trust as being important components to a strong marriage, but love and respect were equal parts of the recipe. A recipe that Dave obviously never read.

  When Sangio walked into the camp, both he and Jessie consciously willed their faces not to smile, and their eyes not to meet. Sangio walked towards Dave, although he felt the pull to go to Dave's wife. Jessie stood up slowly, and walked nonchalantly to greet Sangio, despite her desire to run up to him with a welcoming hug.

  "How about some poker?" Dave offered.

  "In a bit," Sangio declined, sitting in one of the four camp chairs that Dave purchased with her Fuji money. Dave and Jessie sat down, as well.

  "What's in the bag?" Dave pointed to the large, brown shopping bag with handles that Sangio brought with him.

  "This," Sangio handed Jessie and Dave a bottle of beer, "is Samuel Adams Utopia."

  "I've had Sam Adams before, but this is great," Dave said as he inspected the bottle.

  "It's a special brew," Sangio informed him. "I'm glad you like it."

  "So, what brings you to the campgrounds, Sangio?" Dave asked.

  "I'm a sucker for the ocean," Sangio explained.

  "So am I! Although I prefer to take pictures from the shore," Jessie admitted.

  "Yeah," Dave scoffed. "She's afraid of the jelly fish."

  "I can't say I blame you, Jessie. They pack quite a sting. In fact, when I was in Australia I saw a box jellyfish take a three-hundred-pound man down. He was dead in less than three minutes." Sangio winked at Jessie.

  "Seriously! And every where you look along the shores you see washed up jelly fish. You don't even have to be in the water to get stung." Jessie shivered at the thought.

  "So, do you have a family?" Dave asked, slightly irritated that his attempt to get his guest to laugh at his wife's expense failed.

  "No, I seem to have outlived my family," Sangio explained.

  "Married?" Dave continued.

  "Afraid not," Sangio answered matter-of-factly as he handed Dave a second beer, prompting him to finish off the one he was holding.

  "Come on," Dave continued. "There has to be someone. Girlfriend? Friend with benefits?"

  "Dave!" Jessie frowned at her husband. "He said he had no family."

  "I think the man can speak for himself, Jessie!" Dave laughed. "Or should I say Mom?"

  Jessie didn't respond.

  "It's ok," Sangio offered. "At my age, I've been asked the question a thousand times. Though it may be hard to believe, I have no surviving family, and it's been awhile since I've been interested in a relationship. How about you, Dave? Any family besides your wife?"

  "Yeah, I have a younger brother and sister I don't see much. And my parents, although I haven't seen my father since my parents divorce, when I was twelve."

  The beer shot out of Jessie's mouth so quickly that it sprayed all over Dave. She immediately started coughing since she tried to gasp with a mouthful of beer. Dave jumped up and started hitting Jessie's back, harder than necessary as he realized his slip up. Sangio jumped up, as well.

  "That's too hard," Sangio said, and got louder when Dave didn't respond. "Dave, you are being too rough."

  Jessie walked away coughing, now with tears welled in her eyes from the sharp blows Dave gave her.

  "Swallow much?" Dave laughed, again disappointed when he didn't get the laugh from Sangio.

  "Your parents are divorced?" Jessie said when she could finally speak. "You told me they were still married."

  "Well, technically they're still married," Dave lied, hoping he could recover in front of his guest. "They never actually filed papers. I never said they were together. I'm sorry if you assumed differently. You know what they say about assuming. It makes an ass-"

  "I'm sure it was a misunderstanding," Sangio interrupted Dave before he had to hear another childish insult. Then, turning to Jessie he asked, "Are you ok?"

  "She's fine!" Dave answered. "Aren't you, babe?"

  "I'm fine. Sorry. I'm sure I came to my own conclusion," Jessie said, knowing damn well that Dave told her his parents were still together. As a matter of a fact, they had many conversations about how lucky they were that they both came from two parent homes.

  Jessie downed her beer as Dave started working on his third. The tension was still there, but with every sip of beer Dave started to get more and more relaxed.

  "I have to take a piss," Dave slurred and started stumbling towards the bathroom with a flashlight.

  "With any luck he will get lost," Jessie half-joked. "But why is he stumbling? Dave can usually handle his beer."

  "Maybe regular beer," Sangio grinned mischievously. "I may have had to drive a bit farther than town to get one that is 29% alcohol, although I expected to have to get five or six down him before he got to this state."

  "You can thank the six-pack of Corona he's been nursing this afternoon for the help. He's had three since dinner," Jessie explained.

  "So, I take it the divorced parents came as a surprise to you?" Sangio questioned.

  "You have no idea. I gave up my dream wedding, honeymoon in Fuji, a savings
of fifteen thousand dollars, and a five thousand dollar gift from my parents to help his mother and father save their house after his father was diagnosed with colon cancer. He screwed me for the last time," Jessie promised. "I gave up my job for him, and my apartment. He took everything, including me."

  "You can take it all back, Jessica," Sangio comforted her. "You can double the savings, get a new job, find your friends, and make new ones. If you can take anything good from this, it's that you learned early on, and don't have to deal with his bullshit until death do you part."

  "Are you always this optimistic?"

  "Honestly? No. But I've learned in my life that everything can be replaced, with the exception of people." Sangio's eyes clouded over. "And Dave? I know his type. He is a time bomb, and not only will he go off, but something has snapped in him already. He just has a long fuse. If he was willing to hit you in the back that hard in front of me, then every minute you are alone with him you are in danger."

  "I know, I know. I have to make a decision," Jessie admitted.

  Jessie and Sangio had a hard time relaxing the rest of the night, but Dave didn't notice. Sangio gave him a couple more beers until he was sure that Dave would sleep the night away and not pick a fight with Jessie.

  "I'll see you tomorrow?" Sangio asked.

  Jessie nodded her head, and waved to Sangio as he walked away.

  Chapter 15

  Sangio waited anxiously for Jessie to appear the next day, but he didn't have to wait very long. Before the sun had completely risen he saw Jessie walking into his cove.

  "So, when do we leave?" Jessie asked.

  "You tell me." Sangio’s entire body released the tension that had been building as he thought of having to leave Jessie here at camp. "The sooner, the better."