Tethered

by L. D. Davis

  “No, no, they broke up,” Emmy said.

  My relief was small. In our age group, relationships broke apart and reformed quicker than others could realize there had been a change. My relationship with Emmet, apparently, was no different, because I didn’t know how we were going to last the night, let alone nine months of his schooling.

  After I puked, Stella didn’t try to stop me from leaving. I went inside, looking for Emmet, but I didn’t see him. I mentally pulled on the tether, searching for him, but it was stretched and tangled around the horny, high, and hot and sweaty teenage bodies between us.

  Stella found him first, or maybe he found her. I don’t know. I only saw their backs as they descended the deck steps into the large yard. He was so wrapped up in conversation with her that he did not feel me. They continued to walk towards the edge of the yard where it was darker and more private. I stopped doubting Stella’s claim of a bond.

  Dejected, I turned around, pushed my way through the bodies to the front door and left the party behind.

  By the time Tabitha and Leo returned with Emmet and Tack, Emmy had joined her cousin in the grass. Tack didn’t look too much better than they did.

  “He’s not driving is he?” I asked no one in particular.

  Leo held up a set of keys and said “I’m driving.”

  “Do you have a license?” I asked.

  “Practically,” he said.

  I remained quiet as he and Tabitha helped Mayson off of the ground. Practically having a license while sober was better than having a license being drunk and high.

  Emmet unlocked the car with his key fob before picking Emmy up off of the ground. I jumped off of the car and opened the back passenger’s side door and stepped aside so he could help her get in.

  “See ya,” Tabitha said with a sigh as she helped Mayson walk.

  “Are you going to be okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” she said. “I think we’re just going to all go to my house and crash. My parents are gone a couple of days.”

  “Okay.”

  When I turned around, Emmet was holding my door open for me. I got into the car without looking at him or saying a word. Before he closed the door, he dragged his knuckles over my bare arm, making goose bumps race to the surface on my skin. I gently, but obviously, pulled my arm away from his hand and looked straight ahead. He stood there silently for a moment.

  “What?” he finally said with a trace of frustration in his tone.

  I didn’t answer. I reached for my seatbelt and pulled it across my chest and lap and clicked it into place while Emmet stood there in the open door watching me.

  Finally, he slammed the door. When he got into the car, I could feel his aggravation. He put his seatbelt on, turned the engine and then slammed on the gas. We went unnecessarily fast down the long driveway towards the main road. He barely paused to check for cars before racing onto the pavement and rocketing down the road. I ignored his careless driving and looked into the backseat to check on Emmy. Her head was resting against the window as she slept with her mouth wide open. Very attractive, especially with the drool pooled at one corner of her mouth.

  “Unless you need help getting Emmy into the house, you can drop me off at my mom’s,” I said quietly.

  “No,” Emmet said. He sounded appalled that I even said it.

  “It wasn’t really an option or a question,” I said evenly.

  “I’m driving and I’m not giving you the option.”

  “Fine,” I said, crossing my arms. “I’ll walk.”

  “That also is not an option,” he said, gripping the gear shift harder than necessary as he made the car go even faster.

  “You’re going too fast,” I snapped.

  “Yeah, I hear that a lot from you,” he snapped back. “But when I go slow, it’s not fast enough for you.”

  I looked at him with murder in my eyes. There was plenty I wanted to say, but I didn’t know how much Emmy could really hear. If she had been listening at all, our conversation would seem innocent enough. I decided to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the ride home, choosing to ignore the ridiculous speed we were going and Emmet’s eyes often burning a hole into the side of my face.

  When we got to the Grayne’s, Emmet got out and slammed his door before walking around to help Emmy. She couldn’t walk on her own. Hell, she could barely walk at all. Emmet picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, making her laugh.

  “I love my brother,” she said, her voice echoing into the night.

  “Quiet,” Emmet commanded as he kicked her door closed.

  I knew he could take care of her, that he would be able to get her into the house and into her room, hopefully without getting caught. I turned away from them and hurried across the grass, towards the sidewalk.

  “Donya!” Emmet tried to yell-whisper my name.

  Knowing he wouldn’t just leave Emmy, I walked faster, ignoring Emmet’s commands to return. I figured I had only about five minutes before he would come after me.

  I knew I was doing it again. I was running away instead of facing the problem, but I really needed some time to think. I wasn’t going to ignore the problem. I just wanted to ponder on the problem. Sitting on the hood of Emmet’s car for an hour watching other drunken people walk by and listening to the music blasting from the house party wasn’t really a great environment for thinking. I was only able to replay my conversation with Stella over and over in my mind.

  Emmet had knocked Stella up and never said anything to me. I would think that would be information I would need to know. I started to wonder if he had feelings for her. I wondered what they were talking so intently about when he didn’t even know I was standing behind him. I wondered if there was a chance they were going to get back together while they were away at school. They were bonded, after all.

  I groaned in misery. They were bonded alright. He had put his bare dick in her. No condom. No sense. What had he been thinking? What if she had some kind of disease and he could have potentially given it to me?

  “Careless, selfish, horny son of a bitch,” I muttered as I neared my street.

  I didn’t make it home. I heard the powerful engine and the squeal of his tires as he flew around the corner. Before he even screeched to a stop beside me, I knew it was him. I felt it was him. I kept walking, but Emmet was on the sidewalk before I could even get past his front bumper. He roughly grabbed my upper arm.

  “Get in the car, Donya,” he said with a clenched jaw.

  “I need to go home and think,” I said, irritably as I tried to wrench free of his hand.

  Emmet’s eyes glowed a serious, stormy green as he engulfed my personal space. His grip on my arm increased to the point of pain. As an automatic reflex, I tried to step back, but he held me firmly and I couldn’t move anywhere he didn’t want me to move. Emmet had never scared me before, but I felt danger from him on that sidewalk. The tether between us twisted painfully, twisting my insides with it.

  “I said to get in the fucking car,” Emmet said so close to my face that I could almost see the words in the air as they came out of his mouth and landed softly, yet threatening on my face.

  He pushed and pulled me to the car. He opened the door and pushed me inside and slammed the door so hard the car rattled. When he walked around the front of the car, the headlights illuminated his face. I didn’t recognize him and that scared me.

  “Put your seatbelt on,” he commanded, but I just stared blankly at him. Angrily, he reached across me and put it on for me. After he was latched in, he worked the gears and clutch and we sped off into the dark night.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The parking lot where Emmet first kissed me hadn’t changed. He parked in the furthest corner where very little light reached. He got out of the car, slammed the door, and walked around to my side. He opened my door and waved for me to get out of the car. He was still terribly angry and I wasn’t sure that I wanted him grabbing my arm again. I could already feel it bruising.
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br />   I got out of the car and quickly tried to step away from him, but he put his hand on the car, blocking me with his arm. He shut my door and then used his other arm to trap me against the car.

  “Talk.”

  “I don’t want to yet,” I managed to say.

  “Not an option. Talk.”

  I scowled. “You can’t make me talk.”

  “If I have to put a hand up your ass and make your mouth move like a fucking dummy I will. Talk!”

  “I need some time and space to think!”

  “I leave in less than two days!” he yelled in my face. “There is no time! Why do you keep doing this to me?”

  He slammed a hand on the hood of the car behind me, startling me and making me gasp. I had never, ever seen this level of anger from Emmet. I was sure that if I reached out and touched him my hand would burn in his fury.

  “I talked to Stella tonight,” I started in a whisper. “She told me she’s going to Brown.”

  “Is that what you’re mad about?” he asked incredulously. “Like I have some control over where she goes to school?”

  “She said you guys plan to get together, and often.”

  Emmet rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Donya? That’s what you’re fucking mad about? Did she tell you that we would also be meeting up with a few other people who will be in school in the area?”

  “No, but she did tell me that she thinks there is a chance for you two to get back together,” I said softly. “And a part of me believes her; especially since you guys are ‘bonded’ by an unborn baby.”

  I drop my eyes and curse myself for my voice breaking on the last part of my sentence. Emmet became extremely quiet and still. I wasn’t even sure if he was breathing. I felt tears sliding down my cheeks. I wiped at them with a surprising amount of anger. It rose without warning inside of me and Emmet’s silence only added fuel to the fire. As if I had suddenly gained super powers, I looked up into Emmet’s face and shoved him away from me so hard that he stumbled back and almost fell on his ass. I moved forward and shoved him again. This time he was prepared and had time to steel himself. I was still much smaller than him and didn’t move him much, but that didn’t stop me from shoving him again.

  “You fucked her without a condom!” I yelled. “Thank god I found out or I would have made the mistake of letting you take my virginity and possibly give me some kind of STD!”

  I shoved at him again, but he just stood there. His anger had evaporated and now he just looked sad, scared, and full of regrets.

  “I was looking for you at the party and when I found you, you didn’t even know I was there,” I snarled. “You were too busy walking off into the dark with the mother of your dead baby.”

  Even I knew how cruel and utterly wrong that was as I said it. The words were ugly and bad tasting on my tongue even as I spat them out at him.

  Emmet’s anger returned.

  I had no recourse, nowhere to go before he reached me. I was shoved into the side of the car so hard that it rocked and all of the air left my lungs. Emmet crushed my body to the Audi with his and put his face so close to mine that our noses touched.

  “That baby was a mistake,” he said in the scariest hushed tone I had ever heard. “But that doesn’t change the fact that it was a life lost. It wasn’t what I wanted, especially with Stella, but it was mine and it mattered even if it never had a chance. Every life matters, Donya. I thought even you would see that when I was ready to tell you, but clearly I was wrong about you.”

  He stepped away from me and walked around to the other side of the car. I bent over, with my hands on my knees, gasping for air and trying to push down the astonishing panic I felt bubbling in my throat.

  Emmet was not only angry with my terrible words, but now his opinion of me was altered entirely. It was more than I could take. Why did I have to say that? Why couldn’t I just ask him to tell me about Stella and the baby and be supportive? Why did I do what I did?

  “Get in the car,” he commanded.

  I couldn’t be in the car with him. I just couldn’t do it. I staggered a few steps away and without warning I started to heave. I dropped to my knees and dry heaved repeatedly until I thought my stomach was going to turn inside out in effort to get out of my body. When it finally stopped, I was crying. It was disgusting, snotty, hiccupping crying. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and bent over with my head in my hands, sobbing.

  I thought Emmet had given up on me. I thought he was probably standing by the car, impatiently waiting for me to get my shit together so he could drive me home. But then his arms were around my waist, carefully lifting me until I was standing. He made no efforts to comfort me, but he half carried, half walked me to the car and helped me inside. He closed the door and when he got in behind the wheel, he didn’t make me put my seatbelt on or do it for me. He didn’t even look at me. He drove the few minutes to my house without saying a word as I sat there doing that ugly crying.

  When he stopped in front of my house, I looked at him with all kinds of apologies stuck to my tongue, but he gently shook his head, shutting me down. His eyes were shimmering with unshed tears, but his jaw was clenched with anger. Feeling clumsy and stupid, I turned away from him and stumbled out of the car. He sat there at the curb as I staggered up the sidewalk to the door. I don’t even know how I managed to use my key to unlock the door, but the moment the door was open, Emmet drove away. He didn’t peel away like a bat out of hell like he did that one night we had fought. He drove away at a normal, decent pace.

  Somehow, that seemed that much worse.

  The tether stretched and threatened to break. With all of the frays that were now in it, I knew it was only a matter of time before it did.

  Chapter Seventeen

  My bedroom door opened and my mom stepped in, holding a laundry basket. She looked startled to see me there.

  “Oh, I didn’t know you were home. I thought you were at your other house,” she said, setting the basket down. “These are clothes you left in the dryer. I folded them up for you.”

  “Thanks,” I said. My one word sounded as dead as I felt.

  She looked at me for a long moment. She started to leave the room but halted. Slowly she turned back to me.

  “Are you okay?” she asked carefully.

  “Since when does it matter to you if I’m okay,” I said and chose to stare at the ceiling. It was barely a question. It was more like a statement.

  “Well, I’m asking,” she lightly snapped. “Obviously it matters to me.”

  “Well, this is new. My mother gives a damn for a change.”

  “Donya Elisabeth,” she said my name in warning, but I didn’t care about her warning. What could she possibly do to me that I hadn’t already done to myself?

  “Get out of my room. Go back to your lonely existence of only caring about yourself.”

  She gasped, but my words didn’t immediately chase her away.

  “I care about you very much,” she said. Though her voice shook slightly and there was obvious emotion behind it, I didn’t care.

  “And I care about cotton candy and shoes very much. So what? Get out of my room.”

  She stood there a moment longer before quietly slipping out. Later I would feel bad about the way I treated her, but at the moment, I didn’t care that I hurt her.

  It was the middle of the afternoon. I had only gotten out of bed once to use the bathroom when I first woke up. If I was hungry I didn’t feel it. If I was thirsty, I didn’t notice. The only thing I was aware of was the gaping, ragged hole in my chest. A bullet to the chest would have probably felt significantly better.

  I lay in bed, in the silence of my room, staring at the walls, staring at the ceiling, or with my eyes closed. I was constantly assaulted by the smell of Emmet’s body and cologne. I had slipped into his blue shirt before stumbling into bed in the wee hours of the morning. I had cried myself into a fitful sleep, full of nightmares I couldn’t recall. I only slept a couple of hours before I wok
e up and stayed up.

  I didn’t make any efforts to call Emmet and as far as I knew, he made no effort to call me either. Part of me hoped that he would have come to me at some point in the night, or that he would come for me during the morning, but he didn’t, and I didn’t deserve his presence anyway.

  I stopped crying in the middle of the morning, but the pain only became more and more magnified as the hours ticked by. Soon Emmet would be gone and I had ruined our last bit of time together. I hated myself so much for my careless words. Even though Emmet had also done something careless, I should have at least given him the opportunity to explain himself.

  Around four-thirty, my mom ventured back into my room.

  “I’m going into work early,” she said. “They’re shorthanded and it’s busy. I won’t get off until eight and then I have some errands to run.”

  When I didn’t answer her, she asked “Are you going to be okay? Is there something I can do for you?”

  “No,” I said.

  “To which question?”

  “Both.”

  She hesitated for a moment. She sucked in a breath like she was going to speak, but she changed her mind and left the room without another word.

  *~*~*

  I had fallen asleep at some point. It was dark when I heard someone calling my name from the front of the house. A moment later, Emmy threw open my bedroom door and flipped on the overhead light. I blinked up at the light and then gave up and covered my eyes.

  “What are you doing in bed?” she asked, alarmed. “I called you like thirty times! You have to get up and get dressed!”

  I heard my closet door open and hangers moving as Emmy started searching for something.

  “Mom and dad are going to be here to get us in a few minutes,” she said. I felt something land on the bed. I forced my eyes open, uncovered them and blinked down at a little black dress.

  I had not forgotten about Emmet’s going away dinner. It was at a nice restaurant in Philly. Several others were also attending. I had been excited about going. I had even bought Emmet a gift.