All We Are (The Six Series Book 5)

by Sonya Loveday

  I gave her a cross look and said, “I’m eating my feelings. Leave me alone.”

  She made a face at me. “What are you talking about?”

  “Were you not in the same car as me?” I huffed, inhaling another taco. “Besides, these are like mini tacos, so technically, I’ve only had like ten.”

  She snorted. “More like twenty. Where the hell do you put it all? Do you have a hollow leg or something?”

  “Let’s not talk about my appendages right now. They’re overly sensitive, okay?” I wiggled my eyebrows.

  She toyed with the napkin in front of her, shredding it into small pieces until there was nothing left of it, and then picked up another one, starting the process all over again.

  She seemed tense. Like maybe there was something she wanted to say but didn’t know how to say it. Or, maybe she was working through something personal she didn’t want to share. Unfortunately, we didn’t have time for our own personal shit. We had a wedding party to get back to and us shutting ourselves away, even for the briefest of moments, wasn’t a very smart idea. Anything could happen, and if it did, it would be our fault for slipping up on the job.

  “How old are you, Josh?” Ella asked.

  The question caught me off guard, and I found myself saying, “Old enough to know better, but young enough not to care. Why?”

  Her face fell flat. “Typical guy. I’m serious. How old are you?” she asked again.

  “Don’t worry. If you plan on taking advantage of me, you won’t go to jail,” I answered, enjoying the banter, but more so enjoying the blush to her cheeks.

  “And here I thought it was women who were weird about telling their age.”

  “I’m not weird about it.” I bit into another taco, chewing slowly as I watched her. I’d hit my stuffed point about two tacos ago, but they were too damn good to waste.

  “Says the guy who’s avoiding answering me,” she said.

  “I’ll tell you how old I am, if you tell me how old you are,” I answered, adding, “You first.”

  “Twenty-four. One hundred and twenty-two point two pounds. Five foot six and three quarters. Your turn.”

  I gaped at her. “I’m not telling you how much I weigh. This date is over.” I grabbed the tray and marched off to dump it. Let her stew on that for a minute, I thought.

  When I turned, she was right behind me, eyes twinkling. “I bet you don’t put out on the first date either.”

  I gasped, hand fluttering to my chest. “What kind of guy do you take me for?”

  She busted out laughing. “All right, you made your damn point.”

  “Twenty-three,” I answered. “It’s funny. You don’t look twenty-four, you look a lot younger, but then watching you in action, I’d swear you were a lot older.”

  She shook her head, grumbling, “How old did you think I was? Geez.”

  “Hadn’t really thought about it to be honest. Knowing your age wasn’t something that ever crossed my mind. I am curious, though… what made you ask me how old I am?”

  She didn’t answer until we made it around the corner and back on to the main road. She looked up and down the street as if getting her bearings, and then maneuvered us in behind a group of tourists chatting away. “Keep your eyes open for Allyson and Alex. We need to catch back up with them. They can’t have gone too far. This island is only so big.”

  As we wandered down the sidewalk, Ella ducked inside each shop, making a quick circuit looking for Allyson while I flipped through the guidebook she’d purchased at the first store. When she came back out of the last one, she said, “I was just curious.”

  I didn’t have to ask what she was talking about since the conversation was so fresh in my mind. In fact, I’d turned it over a few times, trying to make sense of what would prompt her to ask me. Honest curiosity was one answer I’d come up with, but usually that sort of question went hand in hand with other questions people would ask if they were truly interested in someone.

  “How old were you when you started?” I asked.

  Her head whipped around. “Excuse me?”

  “What?”

  She looked a little flustered, and I couldn’t understand why.

  “That’s personal.”

  “But you asking my age isn’t?” What was she getting so touchy for? “You act like you’ve been doing this for a long time. I just wondered for how long.”

  “Oh,” she said. The word echoed a hint of understanding.

  “Ella…” I pulled her to a stop, uncaring that people had to walk around us. “What did you think I meant?”

  She blushed, not looking at me but over my shoulder as she said, “It’s not important. I was nineteen. Found ‘em.”

  Her answers ran together, making no sense, but then again, when did girls ever make sense?

  “Over by the ice cream stand. Let’s go,” she said, leaving me to catch up with her.

  Allyson and Alex were sitting underneath a striped umbrella, feeding each other bites from an enormous bowl of ice cream that appeared to be turning into soup with every ticking second.

  “There you are!” Allyson said, beaming in our direction.

  “Yeah, had to feed Josh before he chewed off my arm,” Ella replied, adding “I would have told you, but…”

  Instead of blushing, Allyson smirked. “Yeah, sorry about that. We tend to get a little carried away sometimes. Summer gives me hell about it all the time.”

  Ella didn’t miss a beat. “I can understand why. You gave that cab driver one hell of a show.”

  “Oh, please, we were only kissing,” Allyson said, digging the cherry from the melted mess and popping it into her mouth.

  “Believe it or not, Ally, most people don’t do heavy make-out sessions in public,” Ella added.

  Alex laughed. “I gave up trying. You’re better off going with the flow because this one right here?” he said, reaching over to tap the end of her nose. “She’s very passionate, and she doesn’t care where we are. But don’t worry, she’s not a complete exhibitionist.”

  “Hey, I have an idea. Let’s go snorkeling,” I said, hoping to shift the conversation since it looked like Ella was seconds away from telling them off for their public display in the car.

  It had made her uncomfortable. Hell, it had made me uncomfortable. There was a time and place for everything. Slight touches here and there, a whispered word that set a mood, all the things two people shared throughout the day was one thing. When it moved on to public groping and heavy make-out sessions out in the open? That was a whole other level.

  Allyson put her hand on Ella’s shoulder and then winked. “We’re good for at least another hour or so.”

  Ella’s mouth opened, but Allyson spoke, “Kidding, Izzy.”

  “Snorkeling sounds good, but we didn’t bring our swimsuits,” Alex said, steering the conversation back to safer ground.

  “So, we’ll just go buy some.” Allyson popped up from her seat. “Come on, Izzy. There’s a shop right over there.”

  Words failed me. In fact, my brain may have even shut down, using only the necessary function of moving my limbs so I could at least walk. The newly purchased bathing suit Allyson insisted Ella should wear was more than my wildest imagination could have dreamed up as far as clothing and what I found sexy. There were no words for Ella’s bathing suit. None. Grunts of complete appreciation, but that was about it. And it wasn’t even on her yet. I couldn’t wait to get out on the water. At least I couldn’t until she held out what looked like a very small pair of woman’s underwear and dangled them in front of my nose.

  “What the hell is that?” I asked, unwilling to take the offering from her.

  “That would be your—”

  “I am not wearing a banana hammock. No way.” I snatched it from her finger and walked right back over to the store.

  “I’d like to exchange this please,” I said, setting it down on the counter. Turning away, I grabbed the first pair of trunks in my size and then paid the difference.


  “Told ya,” Ella said to Allyson.

  “What’s on those?” Ella asked, lifting the corner of the shorts in my hand. “Are those bananas?”

  “What?” I looked down. Sure enough. Damn bananas. And not just one… It was a whole jungle full of them.

  “Don’t say it,” I warned Ella.

  “I wouldn’t dream of it,” she answered, clamping her lips together.

  The deck of the boat bobbed under our feet. Our captain had anchored us off, waved over his shoulder, and disappeared below deck of the small vessel.

  “Alex paid him to stay below,” Allyson said, watching as Ella and Alex worked together to get the ladder over the side of the boat. “Gives us at least the feeling of being alone.”

  “You don’t get that very often, do you?” I asked, hearing what she wasn’t saying.

  “You’re quick. I’ll give you that. No, the only time Alex and I get to be alone is when we’ve locked ourselves away. And I don’t care who you are, that gets old. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for, being able to be around other people and not feel like you have someone watching your every move all the time. That’s probably why I get so carried away sometimes.”

  “If you make them uncomfortable enough, they’ll give you a moment’s peace?” I asked.

  She smirked. “Something like that. I’ve learned how to handle people and situations. I know what my limits are, but I push them anyway.”

  “Was that what you were doing in the car?” I asked.

  “No. Believe it or not, I just kind of lost myself in the moment. You know how it can be,” she said.

  I wanted to tell her that no, I’d never been in one of those moments where everyone else didn’t exist, but couldn’t without blowing our cover, so I just nodded along.

  “The one thing you can be with us, Josh, is yourself. You won’t get a single bit of judgment… well, unless you’re an asshole to my best friend, but you know what I mean,” she said.

  “Found the goggles!” Ella called out as she hoisted a pair out of a compartment under the seat and held them up.

  “Do you love her?” Allyson put her hand on my arm. Bringing my attention back to her. Waiting for me to answer.

  “I worship the ground she walks on,” I said, omitting the words of love.

  “That’s not what I asked you,” Allyson replied.

  “Words of love are meant to be spoken between lovers,” I answered, moving away before she kept digging.

  Before Ella had a second to prepare herself, I had her in my arms and we went over the side of the boat with a huge splash.

  She about beat me half to death when we came up for air. As she was ready to rip into me by the look in her eyes, the only thing I could do was kiss her to keep her from giving me hell.

  CHAPTER 12

  ELLA

  As soon as the shock wore off, Josh would get a piece of my mind.

  The sting of salt water burned the inside of my nose and seared my throat. He brought me up against his chest and leaned back as his arms stretched out, moving us further from the boat. When there was one splash and then another, signaling a moment where we wouldn’t be overheard, Josh let go of me and said, “I’m sorry. She asked me if I loved you and wouldn’t let it go.”

  “So you threw me overboard and followed it up by kissing me while I was choking on salt water?” I snapped as we tread water, scowling at one another.

  “You were about to lose your shit on me. What was I supposed to do?”

  I didn’t have a good answer to that. He’d done the only thing he could have thought to do. “Can you at least try not to drown me next time, Romeo?”

  “Keep it up and I’ll dunk you again,” he warned.

  “You’d have to catch me first.” I dragged my arm along the top of the water and, at the last second, splashed him right in the face.

  “Oh, you’re gonna pay for that,” he said, diving under just as Allyson and Alex swam past us.

  I swam back toward the boat. Arms and legs pushing as hard as they could, overconfident in my swimming abilities.

  He popped up beside me, blocking the ladder. “You want up?”

  “Do you want snorkeling gear?” I countered, reaching for the ladder.

  “Mmm. Might have to pay the toll.” He darted a look over my shoulder, and then cupped my neck, dragging me against him. His lips brushed mine as he said, “We’re being watched.”

  “Oooh, tone it down, Izzy. You might catch the water on fire,” Allyson called out from somewhere behind me.

  “My Ella isn’t big on public displays of affection,” he said, moving so I could put both hands on the ladder.

  Once on board I grabbed our snorkeling gear, and then tossed it down to Josh before scanning the turquoise blue water. It was clear enough to see the bottom, but there was no sign of Alex and Allyson. “Where’d they go?”

  Josh pointed behind the boat. “That way. Which means, we’re going that way.” He pointed toward the stern. “Saves us from seeing any underwater groping.”

  “Good thinking. As odd as it sounds, I hope they get it all out of their system back there.”

  There was a lot that could be said about becoming a part of the water-world. It was like being enveloped in the earth’s womb. Warm and quiet. Peaceful. It was nice snorkeling, but I’d have much preferred diving so I wasn’t forced to hug the surface to get air. I’d never really gotten the hang of snorkeling, as crazy as that sounded. Either let me free dive, or give me a regulator and tanks.

  I wasn’t sure how long we moved around the coral reefs close to the boat, but it seemed like there was always something new to see. Schools of fish darted around us. Some curious, some scattering if we got too close to them. They were a rainbow of moving color against the coral reef backdrop of swaying seaweed. We lost ourselves to the enjoyment of the sea, only going up for air before descending again each of us pointing when something caught our eye. We worked well together underwater. The perfect buddy system, so when Josh signaled he was going up I followed, kicking to the surface.

  “Fins,” he warned, pointing out into the distance.

  “And that’s our cue.” I swam back toward the boat, hightailing it to safety.

  “Could be dolphins,” Josh said as we approached the ladder.

  “It’s possible, but I’d rather find out from the deck.” I moved to the other side of the boat, waiting for either Allyson or Alex to surface.

  Alex came up first and I waved to him, getting his attention. He nodded. “Saw them. Just dolphins,” he said, moving around the boat with Allyson.

  Josh raised his eyebrows. “Want to get back in?”

  I held my pruned hands out. “Nah, I think I’ve had enough water for the day.”

  Josh put his next to mine. “I wonder why water only does that to your palms and the bottom of your feet?”

  “Softest skin, maybe?” I said, wrapping a towel around me and moving to the other side of the boat to better see the dolphins.

  Josh dug around inside the cooler on deck and grabbed two beers, handing one of them to me before taking a seat next to me while the dolphins put on a grand show.

  “Did you know that dolphins mate for fun and not just reproduction?” Josh asked as I turned to sit lengthwise on the bench seat.

  “Says who?” I glanced briefly over my shoulder at him.

  He looked at me funny. “Didn’t you ever watch the Discovery Channel?”

  I thought about it for a moment, sipping on my beer. “Can’t say I ever really paid much attention to it if I did,” I finally answered with a small shrug.

  He chuckled as the boat rocked slightly from side to side. “I hope they’re ready to go soon. I’m getting hungry.”

  I shook my head. “After all those tacos?”

  “Swimming burns a lot of energy,” he answered.

  “Well, in that case, those two should be starving by now with all their aquatic exercise.”

  Josh busted out laughin
g, the sound surprisingly growing on me. His laughter was deep and genuine, and oddly had a way of settling me.

  I moved away, seeking a spot to lay down where I could soak up the afternoon sun. It would also give me a little space from the intensity of his eyes and how they watched me. Distance was the best way to avoid feelings of attachment I wasn’t looking to feel.

  I should have known it wouldn’t be that simple.

  Josh followed me, stopping just behind me. “Want some sunscreen? Getting a burn on the first day out would suck.”

  I unwrapped my towel and knelt to spread it out, swearing I heard Josh gasp. I glanced over my shoulder, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking out over the water, hand rubbing the back of his neck.

  “Do we have sunscreen?” I asked as I sat, draping my arms over my knees.

  “Hmm?” he said, his eyes looking at some point over my shoulder rather than at me. “Oh, umm… I’m not sure. Let me go check.”

  He hurried away, disappearing below deck.

  I forced my gaze back onto the water, watching the sunlight glitter across the surface like tiny jewels. Male minds were an enigma to me. Even Trent’s. From the very beginning, I’d misread signals. Misread things he said and didn’t say. Men thought women were hard to understand. At least woman said what they meant or felt. Men just shied away from hearing it, and the reasons why would forever remain a mystery.

  I gave up trying to puzzle it out and laid face down on the towel, bringing my arms up to rest my head on them. Although the deck was hard, it was warm and, more importantly, it was flat. The breeze picked up slightly, cooling my skin as the sun beat down on me. I couldn’t remember the last time I laid perfectly still and just breathed. It felt alarmingly good. Something I realized I needed to do more of.

  “Found some,” Josh said a little later, his shadow falling over me as he moved to sit beside me. He put a hand on my shoulder, keeping me from rolling over to sit up, and said, “I’ll get your back.”

  When he was finished, he laid a towel beside mine and stretched out with a yawn. We stayed like that for a while, a healthy silence hanging between us.