All We Are (The Six Series Book 5)

by Sonya Loveday

  The helicopter hovered about fifty feet in the air, circling as if looking for a place to land. As far as I could tell, there was no way to get to it since there weren’t any stairs I could see.

  Above me, the dome ceiling had been retracted so there had to be a way up and out, especially since that was where the helicopter hovered.

  Oliver stepped out from behind a grotto area and beckoned me to him about the same time Trent came around the other side using Ella as a shield, with her arm twisted up behind her back. In his other hand he pointed a gun, moving it between Oliver and me like a silent game of eenie meenie.

  Ella’s eyes widened as she fought against Trent’s hold. My name formed on her lips. He stopped her by lifting her arm a little higher. Her face went white, mouth opening on a gasp, or maybe even a scream.

  Oliver stepped forward bringing Trent’s attention to him as I moved closer, trying to line up a shot that would take him down and not get Ella in the process.

  There was no chance of being heard over the helicopter. Oliver couldn’t tell Trent to let her go. Trent couldn’t warn us back.

  With Oliver on the other side of the pool, it left me as the only one who might be able to stop him, or distract him so that Oliver could stop him. Either way, Trent wasn’t leaving with Ella.

  A rope ladder dropped through the opening and Trent bent to say something to Ella, then moved them together to the edge of the pool.

  The ladder swayed just out of Ella’s reach, but Trent wasn’t going to let go of her so she could reach it because that would leave him unprotected.

  I had a few more feet of deck to cross before I could move far enough to the side to get behind him. I had to get into position before Ella got ahold of the ladder. And if she got ahold of the ladder, neither of us would risk firing at Trent with the air barreling through from above.

  I saw his gun jerk right before I flew backward and skidded across the deck rolling until I smacked into something hard enough for me to see stars. The more I tried to pull oxygen into my lungs, the larger the spots grew before my eyes. I tried pushing myself up, but everything swam in front of me and my arms buckled.

  I laid there, fighting to catch my breath, unable to do anything until I did.

  My stomach rolled back on itself and I vomited, gasping because there was no air behind it and none refilling my lungs. I clawed at my shirt, trying to free myself from the heavy vest that wouldn’t let my chest expand.

  As soon as I released the Velcro, a small trickle of air whistled down my throat. I rolled over as another shot was fired.

  Ella’s scream ripped through the air, caught on the wind, and tore into me.

  I came up from the floor swaying and nearly lost my breath again, watching her cling to the ladder as it pulled her and Trent up.

  We were going to lose her. I lifted my gun, looking to Oliver for some guidance.

  Oliver was sprawled on the ground, blood pooling under him.

  I didn’t think about it, I ran to him and slid against his side like I was stealing home plate. He blinked, pushing hard against the wound as a look of pain pinched his face.

  He grabbed my arm as I helped him stand and then jerked me, hard, and we moved against the wind as Trent fired off another round.

  For a moment, a very brief one, something like shock flashed across Trent’s face when Ella’s elbow came back and caught him in the nose. And then Ella let go of the ladder, grabbing for his gun, and they both fell.

  The gun went off just before they hit the water.

  The ladder was a blur as the helicopter shot straight up, the noise moving off leaving behind a numbing silence.

  I ripped the bulletproof vest off and jumped into the water as Ella surfaced, dragging Trent’s lifeless body behind her.

  When she got to the side, the water in the pool was tinged pink and she was sobbing.

  I helped her get him on the deck as she searched for a pulse.

  Not finding one, she bent over him and cried as if her heart was breaking.

  CHAPTER 36

  ELLA

  Two months later:

  “Ella, can I come in?” Josh asked, poking his head inside my room.

  I closed the book in my lap and nodded without looking at him.

  The hell of it was, I didn’t hate Josh for anything that happened. I just couldn’t face him, which confused me.

  I’d suffered an array of emotions after killing my husband. The grief nearly ate me alive. And when I wasn’t grieving, I was ashamed.

  What sort of person married someone else just to complete a mission? Not only had I married Josh, but I was a bigamist to boot.

  And worse? I cared about Josh more than I should.

  When Trent shot him, all I could think of was that I’d be a widow again… and how fucked up was that when my real husband was holding me hostage and trying to flee with me?

  “Hey,” he said, giving me a strained smile as he sat on the end of my bed.

  Ever since our return, we hadn’t really been able to look one another in the eye. And I had no idea why.

  I clutched the sides of the book with both hands and forced myself to look at him.

  It was startling, the difference in him. He had shadows under his eyes to match my own. And he wore the same haunted look.

  “I… uh… I have something for you,” he said, holding out a thick stack of folded papers.

  I took them from him and laid them in my lap, pressing them flat.

  “Grant said we just have to sign them and he’ll handle the rest. I signed them already, so once you do, just give them to him,” he said, shifting to stand.

  “I have something for you too,” I said, pulling the ring we’d bought in Miami out of my pocket and holding it out to him.

  His fingers touched mine, lingering for a second before he palmed the ring. “I’ll make sure it gets returned before I leave.”

  “You’re leaving?” Why did that feel like a kick in the stomach?

  “Oliver’s sending me to Colorado for a while,” Josh explained, shoulders pulling together as if his shirt was too tight.

  “Oh,” I said, wondering why Oliver would send him away instead of me.

  “So, I guess this is goodbye… for now.” He leaned forward and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. It was the first time he’d willingly touched me since we’d returned. Maybe that was because he was leaving and that made him feel a little bolder.

  His lips were warm against my forehead as he placed a brief kiss there, and then he was gone.

  CHAPTER 37

  JOSH

  I was a coward, that was all there was to it. Too cowardly to admit how I felt. To stand up for what I wanted.

  Ella had huddled inside of herself when we made it back to Chicago, and I’d left her alone thinking she needed space and time to deal with losing him… losing Trent.

  Between Riley, Paige, and Airen, they kept her company. Held her when she cried, and for the most part, kept her demons at bay. They did all the things I couldn’t do because I had no idea how to do them.

  And Ella didn’t need me hanging around like some lovesick puppy begging for attention. She didn’t need to feel guilty about everything that happened between us. I’d heard that Allyson sent her the pictures from the wedding and it had taken the better part of a day to calm her down, and that was only because one of the medics had been called in to give her a sedative.

  It was easier to let her heal on her own time. But there was no way I could stay and watch her from a distance. Or watch her fall apart until there was nothing left.

  The ring in my hand was warm from her pocket. I’d need to give it back to Oliver along with the receipt so it could be returned. There was no reason to keep it any longer, just like there was no reason for me to stay in Chicago.

  Between her breakdowns, she’d stuck close to Oliver until he’d had enough of her keeping vigil beside his bed in her solidarity as he healed. And once he was on his feet, he came up with reaso
ns to go and sit with her.

  Had he been anyone else, I might have been jealous, but he wasn’t. He was just Oliver. She would have been a whole lot more lost had he not been there as some sort of anchor for her.

  It didn’t make it hurt any less. Time hadn’t given me a reprieve. A moment where it all came together and I could sit back and say I’d only been caught up in a moment.

  When Grant had called me to his office and handed me a pen to sign the official divorce decree, I felt what was left of my heart break clean in two.

  There would never be an us. Not in that way at least. We both knew it, so it was best to let go and move forward. Which was why I’d asked Oliver to send me to Colorado.

  My bags had been packed and my flight scheduled. I just had to get through two more days, then we’d both be free to move forward and heal.

  CHAPTER 38

  ELLA

  My finger traced the line of his signature over and over again. I’d done it so many times that I could close my eyes and see the way the J looped into the o.

  I hadn’t signed the paperwork. And I had no idea why I’d put it off. I only knew that once I signed my name, it was really over.

  Once again, I’d be alone. And what a silly thought that was. It wasn’t as if Josh and I had some sort of undying love that ended badly. Only a pirate wedding that had.

  I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the chair. His signature drew itself out against the back of my eyelids as his voice came to my memories. “I, Joshua, take you Isabella to be my wife…”

  There had been so much there in his eyes. Not only in the wedding pictures Allyson had sent, but the vivid memory of it as well. It was as if he opened his soul and invited me in to make it my home.

  I clutched the paperwork to my chest as a wave of panic and indecision hit me so hard I cried out. He loved me. He really loved me. And somewhere along the way, I’d fallen in love with him too.

  I came out of my chair and blew past Riley. “Ella?” she called, but I wasn’t stopping. Not until I reached Grant’s office.

  I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going and ended up tearing around the corner and running smack into Oliver. “Sorry,’’ I said as we danced around each other to stay on our feet.

  “Where are you going in such a hurry?” he asked, taking hold of my arm as he gave me an odd look.

  “To see Grant,” I answered, adding, “Oh, and I’d like my ring back, please.”

  “Grant isn’t here. He and Nadia just left for Scotland,” he said, letting go of my arm.

  “Oh… well, damn. I guess I’ll call him tomorrow then.” Tomorrow. The next day. He’d hear it from me that I wasn’t signing the papers. Not unless Josh told me to my face that he wanted a divorce.

  Oliver searched my face, and then with a swift nod, he dug in his pocket and handed me a jewelry box. “Allyson has called you every day. Might want to call her back so she’ll stop blowing up my phone. She knows you got the pictures, but…”

  I felt a pang of guilt for not thinking of her, but I’d been too caught up in my own bullshit.

  After we’d returned, Garett Baron had collected both his daughters from one of the safehouses in Virginia where Grant and Nadia had stashed them, and even went as far as staying with them until Garett got there. Oliver had made sure I knew both Allyson and Summer were home. And that they were worried about me, but safe.

  “I’ll call her tomorrow. Thanks,” I said, tapping the jewelry box, and then added, “Where’s Josh?”

  “Weight room, I think,” Oliver called over his shoulder as he walked away.

  Epilogue

  “Josh!”

  I damn near broke my neck turning around when she called my name.

  I caught her in my arms, and we fell into the wall. Before I could say anything, she kissed me.

  It wasn’t until we were both out of breath that she pulled back.

  Tears streamed down her face as she handed me back the divorce paperwork. “I didn’t sign it. I will if that’s what you really want. But I want to hear it from you. I want to hear you say what it is you really want.”

  I stood there completely dumbfounded. “You want to stay married?”

  The question came out sounding exactly how I felt.

  “That’s what I’m asking you,” she said, stepping back, her bottom lip pinched between her teeth as she waited.

  “Ella… I…” The words caught in my throat. I loved her so much it hurt.

  Her face fell and her eyes dropped. “It’s okay, Josh. I mean… I was just asking to be sure and—”

  “Shut up, Ella,” I said, ripping the paperwork down the middle and letting it fall to the floor.

  “Is that a yes?” she asked, kicking away a sheet that landed on her foot.

  “No, that is a hell yes,” I said, pulling her into my arms and kissing her lips, nose, cheek, and then her forehead.

  Ella

  “Better put my ring back on to make it official,” I said, handing him the jewelry box Oliver gave me.

  “What’s this?” he asked.

  “I asked Oliver for my ring back. We’ll probably have to work for another eighty years to pay for it, but what the hell—it’s not like we’ll have anything else to pay for.”

  He opened the box and looked at me. “Ella, I didn’t give Oliver your ring back. I still have it in my pocket.”

  “So he gave me an empty box?” I asked, brows pulling together.

  “Hold on.” Josh reached into his pocket, pulled out my ring, and then slid it on my finger as he turned the box around so I could see what was inside.

  “Holy sh—”

  “I’d wondered when you two were gonna get your heads out of your asses,” Oliver said from across the room.

  When I turned, he wasn’t there anymore.

  “Guess that means he approves,” Josh said, taking the smaller of the two bands out and slipping it on my finger and then handing me the other one. My hand shook as I slid it past his knuckle and the words ‘to have and to hold’ whispered in my thoughts.

  “You know what?” Josh asked, tipping his head as his eyes crinkled.

  “What?”

  “I lied when I told you that I was happy with what we were,” he said, locking his hands behind my back as we swayed.

  “Oh? And now?” I asked, placing my hand against his heart.

  “And now… if this is all we are, I’ll be the happiest man in the universe,” he said.

  “You mean the world?” I asked, chuckling.

  He shook his head. “Not big enough.”

  He placed a light kiss on my lips and then lifted me in his arms. “I’m going to love you forever, Mrs. Howard.”

  The last of the shadows that haunted me drifted away and I took a deep breath, smiled at him, and said, “I’m going to hold you to that, Mr. Howard.”

  THE END

  Did you enjoy All We Are?

  If you enjoyed this book, please take a few seconds to review, rate, and/or share on any social media platform that you’ve finished and loved it. Just a couple seconds and a few words make all the difference to the work authors put into their writing and promoting.

  It is for you that I write, and it is to you that I am indebted.

  ♥ Sonya Loveday

  * * *

  Keep Reading for a sneak peek of Under Northern Lights, the final book of The Six Series!

  UNDER NORTHERN LIGHTS

  BOOK 6 OF THE SIX SERIES

  In the coastal city of Nome, under the northern lights, sets exactly the right location for a government-funded secret sector of Cole Enterprise. But that's not all Alaska has to offer. Amongst the natives is an unsuspecting woman who has been hand selected to join the undercover operation.

  After his abrupt departure from Haiti, Eli Bennet never thought he'd see Nova again. The idea of recruiting her as a team medic excited him. There's only one minor problem… he has no idea how to approach her.

  Nova McCarty kn
ew taking care of her grandmother wouldn't be easy. Noni's memory has fizzled to the point where it’s no longer safe for her to live alone. Bumping into Eli was the last thing Nova expected after returning home. But there he was as if she'd pulled him out of her dreams, offering a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

  Can Nova figure out how to have what she wants without sacrificing a part of herself to get it? Furthermore, will Eli turn his back on the Six in order to stand by Nova when she needs him the most?

  COMING 11/16/17

  CHAPTER 1

  ELI

  The hairy beast’s eyes met mine, unblinking.

  It startled me, but I didn’t dare move in case it took it into its walnut-sized brain to charge.

  “Shoo,” I said, keeping my hands held loosely at my sides. “Shoo. Go away,” I repeated, but the moose kept staring placidly at me through the window.

  I’d traveled quite a bit for Cole Enterprise, but never to such a remote outpost as Nome, Alaska. The guys would laugh their asses off if they were here to witness my first run-in with a two-thousand-plus-pound bull moose and the fact there was only a window between us.

  I wasn’t sure if I should move. Maybe I should draw the curtains and make a mad dash to the back of my house. What was the correct protocol for a stalker moose?

  When I was told about my assignment, I was excited. The wilds of Alaska had sounded almost romantic. The adventure itself, not so much. And the cold? Good God, the cold! What was it the British said, it would freeze the balls off a brass monkey? I highly doubted a monkey, let alone a brass one, would hop a plane to go on an Alaskan adventure, but if it did, it’d totally end up with frozen cojones.