Undesirable

by Laura Stapleton

  The man’s bad attitude melted like shaved ice in an oven. “Thank you kindly ma’am.” Winslow walked off without a backward glance, not toward his own wagon, but the Warrens’.

  She stared at him, her mouth set. “Before you say anything, Sam, the children need someone more than he needs the help. I’ve been self-centered with my own problems. It will do me some good to help someone else with theirs.”

  As he watched, she walked away in the same direction as Winslow. The boys all sat around the fire. Some read. Lucky and Joe sewed up tears in their clothing. Sam grinned every time one of them made a grunt from poking themselves with the needle. He went to the wagon, putting up the dish pail and wondering what to do next. Weariness settled in his bones. He picked up his trail book, determined to be as productive as his men. After kicking off his boots, Sam laid down in his bedroll and began to read. He must have fallen asleep. When Arnold shook him awake, Sam looked over to see Marie sleeping in her own bedroll. He slipped on his boots and began the night watch.

  He paused each time when passing Marie as she slept. She talked in her sleep once. He listened just to hear her voice. When Arnold met up with him, he grinned and continued his round. The first of the sun’s rays for the day didn’t come fast enough for Sam. Fort Hall meant civilization, which also meant Marie would be truly free. He intended on being the first and only in line to win her hand.

  In an irritable mood, Sam rushed through caring for the stock. Breakfast, too, passed in a blur. He ate, helped Lefty wash, and double-checked that Marie packed up everything they owned before letting Lucky give the signal to move.

  Midmorning, they exited a shallow canyon. A vast plain stretched out before them with a ribbon of river cutting the landscape in half. As the group approached, the white adobe walls of Fort Hall gleamed in the noon sunlight. Dark storm clouds loomed behind the brightness of civilization, enhancing the fort’s glow. As fast as the rain moved east, they’d soon be rolling through a downpour. This area needed every drop of rain squeezed from the sky above. This meant the road would soon turn to a sticky mud and slow their progress.

  Though hoping for a noontime arrival, Sam knew a dinner at the fort was more likely. He fidgeted in the saddle. Sam kept his heels still against Scamp’s flanks. He resisted the urge to gallop ahead with the divorce decree in his saddlebag.

  Sam looked behind him at the group following him. He’d noticed how bare soil replaced grass as they neared the fort. For the animals’ sake, they should put down stakes here for the night. He couldn’t give the order. Del and Ellen might be waiting for them. He also knew a courier could take documents to the territory capital, and that kept him moving forward.

  A slight gust front hit, threatening to lift his hat away. Sam pushed it back down on his head and tilted the broad side forward to keep on the hat. Though the clouds overhead reflected sunlight, small droplets of rain turned to huge in a hurry. He didn’t want to stop. After the initial blast, he turned back and motioned for them to continue. He grinned, almost hearing their groans even at this distance. The fort lay a mile ahead. They’d miss a lot of the sticky mud if they kept a constant pace.

  The rain grew colder. He shivered, the cotton shirt thin cover against the wet. Sam looked behind him, making sure all those who had walked earlier were now in their own wagons. Satisfied no one was still on foot, he settled in for the remaining half mile. He glanced up and saw the gate stood open for them and anyone else on the trail. Sam realized they’d not have to keep watch tonight. He and his men could enjoy their first full night’s sleep since leaving Missouri.

  Impatient, he nudged Scamp into a trot and entered the enclosed walls. When seeing an officer, he called out, “Excuse me, sir?” The man’s attention caught, Sam dismounted and went to him. “We had a young lady kidnapped near Soda Springs.”

  “That's a shame.”

  “It is, and one of my men, a Métis, went to retrieve her and meet us here.”

  “A half-breed and a woman how old?”

  Sam wanted to correct the man. Métis was the best term for Del, not the derogatory “half-breed.” Under the circumstances, he decided to let it slide. “Youngish, old enough to marry, but too young to be a spinster.”

  “I’d remember a gal like that. Every other lady fitting your description is with her family, not some half breed.”

  Instead of giving the officer a lesson in manners, Sam said, “I see. It’s important that she’s found, so I’d like to check in with your commander as well.”

  “Of course, sir.”

  Sam smelled Winslow behind him. Before he could turn to face him, the sloppy drunk let out a blood-curdling wail. “You lied to me! My daughter is gone! Gone with that damned Indian!”

  Chapter 12

  Marie buttoned Skeeter’s shirt. She looked down to see Little Buster leaning against her, struggling to put on his boot. “Give me a moment, Buster, and I’ll help you.” Helping the older boy down, she turned to the youngest and held his boot steady while he slipped his foot inside. “Good! Now the other.” As she readied his other shoe, she heard shouting above the fort’s usual noises. Recognizing Sam’s and Jack’s yells, she concluded Ellen hadn’t been here waiting for them to arrive. “Boys, play in the wagon or nearby for a while.” Distracted, she noticed how they ran off as if late to their next adventure.

  Arnold stepped up from behind her. “I reckon boss is in trouble, ma’am.”

  “Should we go help him?” asked Marie.

  “He can probably handle old Jack himself.” The young man shrugged. “Still, it’d be worth the effort going over there to see if Miss Ellen is back.”

  Lucky strolled up in dry clothes. “My bet is she’s not. Otherwise, Mr. Winslow would be a lot quieter.”

  Laughing, Arnold said, “I’ll take that bet. Lefty, you in?”

  Still in his wet gear, Lefty laughed. “Hearing him from here? Naw, I like my silver.”

  A group of men left the commander’s building, stopping their banter. Marie bit her lip when seeing how angry Sam looked as he stood talking with one of the soldiers. After examining the other men’s faces, they appeared to share his mood. All of them watched as Winslow approached with only the commander. Marie asked, “Ellen isn’t here?”

  “No, she ain’t come back to us.” Winslow crooked his head in Sam’s direction. “Granville was wrong about his friend. That half-breed probably slitted her throat himself.”

  The very thought of Ellen dead brought tears to Marie’s eyes. “Don’t say such things, Mr. Winslow. Mr. Du Boise cares for Ellen.” Her chin trembled just before she began sobbing. As she buried her face in her hands, she felt one of the men pat her on the back in comfort.

  “Here, here, ma’am,” said Lucky. “No need for that.”

  Lefty leaned closer to say in a quiet tone, “I agree with the boss. We’ll find her.”

  Marie sniffed, glancing up at the boys’ earnest expressions. “How can you be sure? It’s been several days.”

  “Two weeks,” said Lucky. Arnold punched him in the arm as if to quiet him. “What? It’s been that long, hasn’t it?”

  “Seems like,” added Lefty.

  The commander raised his gloved hands to get their attention and stop the conversation. “Nevertheless. With Granville’s assurances and a group of my finest beginning their search for her, we will find Miss Winslow.”

  Giving Sam a sneering glare as he approached, Jack said to the commander, “I’m mighty glad to have your help.”

  “Now then, you folks settle in for the rest of the day. We’ll find your missing woman.” The commander tipped his hat and turned to where his soldiers waited as Sam left the group.

  When Sam joined Marie and the others, Jack spat out, “And no thanks to you.” He turned on his heel, going back among the wagons.

  Narrowing his eyes at the man, Sam remained silent until addressing his men. “Gentlemen, let’s get settled. They have fresher horses, and if the two are anywhere near here, they’ll find
them.” As his employees left to carry out his orders, he put his hand on Marie’s shoulder, saying, “Would you please walk a moment with me? I have news for you.”

  Marie wiped her face with a clean part of her sleeve. His serious tone worried her. “Is everything well?”

  “For me, it’s very well.” He let his hand slide down her upper arm until it broke contact at her elbow. “I’m not sure how you’ll take this, but your paperwork has been filed.”

  “I see.” She stopped walking. She truly was alone, now. Her nose began itching and her eyes stung with tears. “So, Charles and I are no longer married?”

  He shook his head. “I’d like to say you’re not officially wed. I can’t until the paperwork is filed at the territory courthouse.”

  “So, I have to be Charles’ wife until then?” Marie asked. Sam laughed, but she didn’t hear humor in the sound. “I feel ill.” At the group’s wagon, she used it for support.

  “Don’t. The courier leaves in the morning, and my letter is in there. The decree has an effective date, which has already passed.” He turned her to face him, and at her questioning look, he answered, “Yes, I’d feel better when the paper is securely in the courthouse.”

  His response didn’t reassure her. Anything could happen between here and Oregon City. “I have witnesses who saw both of us sign. We can’t still be…I’m not going back to him, Sam. I can’t.”

  “What?” He held her by the shoulders. “No, dearest, you’re not going back to him. Not now, not ever. Even if we find the decree floating back to us on the river, I’ll write up a new document. None of my men will mind signing as witnesses again.”

  She liked how he was quick with a solution to her potential problem. The warmth of his touch steadied the pounding in her chest. “If a new document needs to be written, so be it.” Marie thought a moment before suggesting, “I do know how to write Charles’ signature.”

  He hugged her close, and she felt his lips pressed against her head. “I can’t condone that, sweetheart.”

  Under his chin with her face against his chest, she breathed in deep, loving his scent. She felt every inch of their contact as if a static charge of electricity lurked underneath her skin. “You wouldn’t let me?”

  “Let’s say I’d prefer to not know if you did.” He released her, still holding onto her arms. “No conflict of interest and no hindrance to our marriage.”

  “No hindrance to our what?” Her hair stood on end, and Marie swore she tasted metal at the back of her throat. “Sam, are you suggesting we get married?”

  “Suggesting is such a mild word for it, sweetheart.” He smoothed a loose strand of her hair back into place. “I’m expecting you to marry me as soon as possible.”

  She stepped back from him, swallowing before protesting, “Love is one thing, but marriage?” Marie shook her head, saying, “We can’t. It’s too soon.”

  He stepped forward as she stepped back into the tailgate of the supply wagon. “No, it’s not. We love each other, and I’m tired of waiting.” Sam frowned and pointed toward Charles and Hester’s wagon. “You’re not leaving me to go with those two. What else can you do besides marry someone?” Crossing his arms, he gave her an arrogant look. “I expect that someone to be me, no exceptions.”

  Marie laughed at his arrogance but knew he was right. What single woman traveled with a trunk and the clothes on her back? She looked up into his eyes, the clear blue shining with love and a large dose of triumph. “Samuel, I don’t want to marry someone in desperation.”

  “You wouldn’t be.” He waved his hand toward the fort’s log cabin headquarters. “Any man there or even here in our own party would jump at the chance to marry you. Wink at any of them, and you’ll see how much desperate doesn’t apply here.”

  She echoed his previous stance by crossing her arms, not believing him and not wanting to argue. “Don’t be absurd. After my father had died, he left me with a plantation to run. I didn’t know the first thing about what to do, and if not for Charles, I’d have been destitute within a year. Besides, you’ve seen him. He was even more handsome when we met, and I was lucky he married me.”

  He stared at her for a moment before laughing. “You can’t be serious.” When she nodded, he ran a hand through his hair. “How does he have anything to do with me? I love and desire you more than I do my next breath. I can think of nothing other than your smile and live to hear your voice. Us marrying isn’t an option; it’s a necessity.”

  The more he spoke, the harder her pulse knocked in her chest. His words sounded sincere and eerily familiar. “Stop. Please. I’ve heard this before, you know. Not from you, no, but from him.” She turned from Sam, hands trembling as she gathered the washing from the back of the wagon. “It’s all the same now as it was then. What will happen in five, ten years time? I’ll learn my lesson when you’ve found another, someone younger than I am and able to have children. You’ll tell me it’s not going to happen, but then I’d have never imagined Charles and Hester could…” Marie paused and faced him, her stomach churning. “I’d rather die alone on my way to civilization than be betrayed again.”

  “I’ve made a mistake. You’re having doubts about leaving him. I’d not realized how much you still cared for Warren.” Before she could argue, he went on. “All this has been a huge change for you, sweetheart. You found out about those two and divorced in an instant. Now, I’m asking you to jump back into something new before you’ve properly mourned the old.” He exhaled, staring up at the sky. “I need to apologize. Impatience has clouded my manners, and I’ve pressured you into something too much, too soon.”

  “Sam.” She held onto his arm. “Let’s give this more time. When we get to Oregon City, and if you still care for me, I’ll let you propose.”

  “You’ll let me, hmm?” He shook his head. “You have no choice in if I ask, only in what you reply.” Sam walked around to the side of the wagon and reached in, retrieving a fishing pole. “I’ll be gone until dinner, trying to catch us some salmon. Send out a search party if I’m not back by dark.”

  “Of course. Is there anything you want me to do until then?” she asked, and he shook his head while walking away. As he went farther downstream, Marie smiled at the sudden thought of how this absence wasn’t permanent. She had the chance to see his home at the journey’s end. No spending her days in a gold rush boomtown store from dawn to dusk. Marie almost laughed with joy, happiness crowding out any worries. Even if Sam grew disinterested in her later, she’d have the choice now and later to see if their relationship had legs.

  Shaking her head to better focus on the afternoon chores, she went to the wagon, wondering what to do with her afternoon in the Fort. Maybe cleaning up and rearranging items could keep her busy. She had the laundry gathered, what few items there were. She sighed, thinking. Taking care of the Winslow boys always needed doing. Glancing around, she saw Skeeter playing with other boys as they rolled a hoop with a stick. Little Buster hung back, sucking his thumb as he watched. They seemed fine for now.

  Before Marie could decide what to do first, the gates to Fort Hall opened. A contingent of soldiers rode in, followed by Del and Ellen riding on the same horse. Seeing her friend, Marie cheered. She hurried to the group, stopping just shy of them. Hearing a boy’s cry, she turned to see Skeeter run toward his sister.

  The child had noticed Ellen before she saw him. He yelled, and she turned as he barreled toward her. “Ellie! You’re here!” He jumped up into her arms as soon as her feet touched the ground. “You’re here. Mama’s gone, did you know?” He started crying.

  Ellen’s gaze met Marie’s. “Yes, sweetheart, I know and I’m so sorry.”

  His voice muffled, he cried, “I miss her! Little Buster don’t know, but I do. Pa’s been sick this whole time, too.” He squeezed her even more. “I’m glad you’re here with us.”

  She held him, returning his hug. “I am, too, baby boy.”

  Marie felt the youngest brother take her hand, and she looked
down at him. He still sucked his thumb, but held on to her and leaned against her leg. She told Ellen, “Skeeter has been the best boy I’ve ever met. He’s polite, is kind to other children, and has helped me with Little Buster’s care. He’s already such a little man.”

  “He’s always been the best brother ever,” Ellen said. Addressing him, she added, “Thank you, Skeeter, for helping with Little Buster. I know this can’t have been easy for you, and you’ve been so brave.”

  “Thank you, Ellie.” He sagged against her as if absorbing her comfort. “They buried Ma way back there. I didn’t want to leave her, but Pa made me.”

  Brushing away her tears, Ellen said, “I know, sweetheart. Ma would have wanted you to stay with Pa while she went with the angels.”

  “But she was with us, and then we put her in the ground. Pa didn’t even wrap her in a blanket. She’s probably cold.”

  Ellen glanced at Marie, worry etched on her face. She wanted to reassure the young woman and said, “The men made a box from scrap lumber. It worked very well for her. We ladies put her in a Sunday dress with a lovely wrap for her neck.” Ellen nodded as if understanding what Marie didn’t want to say in front of the children.

  “That sounds perfect. Thank you for taking such good care of Lucy.” Ellen pulled away a little from her brother. “Everyone here did very well for our mother. Her body is in the earth, but her spirit is in heaven, I’m sure.”

  The boy nodded, seeming happier now. “Ma doesn’t know she’s in the ground, I suppose.”

  “She doesn’t,” Ellen assured him. “She’s somewhere else much nicer.”

  He sniffed. “Probably she’s already at where we’ll be living, but as a ghost. Ma will be a good ghost, not one that scares me or anything.”

  “Of course not. She’ll keep watch over you every day. You and Little Buster both.” Ellen let him slide out of her grip and nodded at their youngest brother.