Hyenas

by Joe R. Lansdale

  the girls.”

  “Did he?” Brett said. “That’s like saying if you got corn you get the pigs. Thing is, who wants pigs? Look here, kid. Get a shower, and let’s see we can do something about those pimples. You just aren’t washing your face good. And I got some stuff you can put on them. Even a natural beauty, a goddamn goddess like me sometimes gets a bump.”

  NEXT MORNING BRETT slept in, and I went downstairs and woke Leonard and Donny. I called Kelly and told him we had his little brother, and that we would try and hang onto him for a few days, to see if common sense soaked in. I didn’t offer him any guarantees.

  We called Marvin about seeing if he could drop a word to the police about the car in the shed, and so on. He did. They didn’t really have enough cause, but they went out and cut the lock anyway. The car inside was gone. The place was empty. They went out to the house where Smoke Stack lived. It was cleaned up and only Smoke Stack was home. He told them the bruises on his face were from falling down in the driveway.

  It was an iffy move, putting them on the alert like that, but me and Leonard figured it was best to make them a little nervous.

  After we got the news, Leonard said, “Smoke Stack and his swinging dick friends are done tidying up. There’s nothing left for the cops to find. I think we should have shot them all last night. I think we should have shot Smoke Stack twice.”

  Donny was sitting on the couch listening.

  “That includes you,” Leonard said.

  “He’s just testy,” I said. “He hasn’t had his morning coffee. And his boyfriend isn’t talking to him.”

  “You’re gay?” Donny said to Leonard.

  “Yep.”

  “You don’t act gay.”

  “How do they act?”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Look here, kid. We come in all shapes, sizes, and attitudes. But it’s pretty much a given we all have big dicks.”

  “Yeah,” I said, “but he doesn’t have an ounce of fashion sense.”

  “No Barbara Streisand records either,” Leonard said. “I just prefer men to women. And just for the record, I can whip your ass and pretty much anyone else’s on any day of the week, provided the Moon is in Leo.”

  “What?” Donny said.

  “He’s fucking with you,” I said. “About the moon in Leo part.”

  We went to the gym and took Donny with us. When we got there we put the bag gloves on him and showed him how to work the heavy bag. He didn’t want to do it at first, but Leonard persuaded him with a threat. After Donny hit the bag a few times, he got into it. He started asking questions on how to throw punches. He had seen us do it, seen how we moved the bag, and he wanted to learn it. I think he was also thinking about that ass-whipping I had given his hero.

  Leonard said, “You got to come from the hip. But, you get older, you get more experience, you realize this bag don’t mean shit. Hitting a person, you don’t have to be able to move this bag. You got to hit a man when he’s in the void, when he’s stepping, when he’s trying to shift or recover his balance. Catch him them, you can take down a big guy with a simple punch, a kick. Catching someone off balance, or controlling their balance, makes them easier to throw.”

  We spent two hours at the gym, then went back home.

  We pulled up in the drive, and I saw the front door was open. Leonard and I were in the front seat. He turned and looked over his shoulder, said, “Donny, you stay in the car. If anyone comes out shooting, or you hear shooting, you run like a motherfucker. But, you don’t hear shooting, I come out, and you’re gone, I will track you down—”

  “And beat the shit out of me,” Donny said.

  “That’s right.”

  We had guns in the glove box and we got them out. Leonard went around back, and I went up on the porch and moved the open front door wider with my foot, peeked inside.

  I didn’t see anyone. I moved in slowly, and then I heard the back door lock click, and Leonard was in.

  Leonard took the kitchen, and I took his room. We checked the bathrooms. I went upstairs. The bed covers were pulled back and the big red tee-shirt she had slept in was lying on the floor. On the end of the bed was a note.

  I picked it up and read it.

  We got your redhead. We got Donny’s brother. We got your lady’s cell phone, and we got your number. Go to the cops, they’re both dead. Wait for our call.

  THERE'S NO WAY to describe the emptiness I felt. I went downstairs with the note and gave it to Leonard. He read it and went upstairs and came down with a shotgun, two pistols, and a single shot .22 rifle. None of them are registered. I keep them in a special place in the closet where the ceiling tiles can be moved and the guns can be stored.

  I sat at the table, stunned, and Leonard went out and got Donny and brought him in.

  Donny looked at me, said, “What’s wrong?”

  Leonard gave him the note, said, “That’s your man, Donny. He’s got Brett and your brother. That’s what cowards do.”

  Donny put the note down. “Smoke Stack said no one would get hurt. He said we’d just end up making some money.”

  “Someone will get hurt all right,” Leonard said.

  “Smoke Stack. And anyone with him. If he hurts Brett, we’ll kill them all and shit on their graves on a weekly basis.”

  “Brett didn’t have anything to do with this,” Donny said.

  “Yeah, and that mattered, didn’t it?” Leonard said.

  I was thinking on what to do next, when the cell rang.

  When I answered, Smoke Stack said, “All right, bad ass. We got your woman and she’s going to drive the getaway car for us. That’s ironic, ain’t it, asshole? It didn’t take all that much work to figure who you guys were, cause first off, we got the brother, and, it didn’t take more than a few burning cigarettes on his chest, and he talked right up, told us who you were. How you like that?”

  “Peachy,” I said.

  “We nabbed Donny’s brother at his job just before he started to clean a toilet. Now listen up tight cause I ain’t gonna repeat it. We hit the First Commercial Bank at 1:30 today. Anyone should get tipped off before then, or at all, we’ll kill the chick and the brother too. What we’re gonna have the redhead do is drive the getaway car. Ain’t that classic? You take our wheel man, and we take your girl, and now she’s our wheel man. Pardon my goddamn fucking manners. Wheel woman. I hope she can drive, cause if she can’t, got to just go on and pop her.”

  “She can drive,” I said. “Don’t hurt her.”

  “Man, that would be a shame, wouldn’t it. Fox like that. She’s fine, man. I don’t know how you got something like that. I see her, and I see you, I got to wonder you got some kind of Love Potion thing going.”

  “Just don’t hurt her… How do I get her back?”

  “You didn’t mention getting the brother back. So, we’ll keep him. We’ll keep him until we’re gone for some time. We give the redhead back, you tell who we are, then he’s toast. Otherwise, a week from now we’ll let him go… No. I don’t like that. You see, I’m thinking since you didn’t even ask about him, he’s not such a big worry for you. You get the woman back, then what do you care? We’ll do it the other way. We’ll keep the redhead and give you the brother. A week from now, we’ll let her go. Just so you know, we caught her sleeping. Just sprang the lock and found her upstairs. I made her change, and I watched while she did it. It’s good to know she’s a natural redhead. It’s good to know what she’s got under the hood, so to speak.”

  “Fuck you,” I said.

  “Don’t get rowdy. It might not do to get me mad. And let me tell you something. Other night, you got lucky. I was high as a kite.”

  “Yeah, and you can’t fight either.”

  “Maybe we’ll get another chance and I can show you what I can do when I’m straight.”

  “Maybe we will.”

  “Tell you what. We keep her a week, we’ll give her back, but in the meantime, we might try and put out that little fire b
etween her legs. I’m a regular fireman.”

  “You hurt her, you touch her, you’re dead,” I said.

  “I wouldn’t talk like that, if I was you. There’s all kinds of things can happen between now and then. You could be looking for her for twenty years, and not so much as find a hair. That body we left in the woods, in the car, that was a mistake. From now on, there won’t be bodies to find. So you better pay attention to me. You sit quiet. We’ll hit the bank. We’ll leave the brother somewhere, and then we’ll let your woman go in a week. That way, we got plenty of time to do what we want and get where we want. You don’t believe me, call the police. Show up and cause trouble. You might get me, but you won’t get her back. Least not alive. Have a nice fucking day, asshole.”

  I put the cell away and told Leonard what Smoke Stack said.

  I said to Donny, “He won’t let your brother go, and he won’t let Brett go. He knows we know who he is, and he’s determined to pull the armored car job anyway. Out of spite. He’s trying to prove he’s smart.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Donny said. “I guess I haven’t been thinking.”

  “You ought to be sorry, kid,” Leonard said. “You’ve stirred up the goddamn bees’ nest.”

  “He might let them go,” Donny said.

  “No,” I said. “His pride is what this is about. He knows at some point we’ll tell somebody, so I figure he’ll do the robbery, then tell us he’s going to let the brother go, and we can pick him up at such and such a place, but neither brother or Brett will be alive by then. And they’ll be waiting for us. They’ll ask that you come along, like they’re gonna take you back. But you know what? They plan to kill us all. No witnesses, and then they’re back in business. Cops will know it’s them that did it because of circumstantial evidence, but thinking and proving, that’s too different things. They could lay low for a year or two and then launder the money somewhere, come out good. And my figure is everyone in that group, except Smoke Stack, will turn up dead. He’ll end up with all the money and no one to talk about how things were done.”

  “You know, it’s not a nice thing to say,” Leonard said, looking at Donny, “but this is all your fault.”

  “It is, isn’t it?” Donny said.

  “Damn straight,” Leonard said.

  “It’s not all your fault,” I said. “I was Kelly, I’d have told too. No one is as tough as they show in the movies. I should have thought that angle. We tried to play this one too nice.”

  “Hap likes being nice,” Leonard said. “Me, I don’t care for nice.”

  “Will you go to the police?” Donny asked.

  “We could take that chance, but we won’t,” I said.

  Donny looked at the floor, then up at me. “It’s not an armored car this time.”

  “No?”

  “They’re just going to hit the bank. Two inside, and then they’ll come out and the getaway car will be waiting. I wanted to tell you that. He shouldn’t have bothered Kelly and Brett.”

  “I bet Smoke Stack stays in the car,” Leonard said.

  “Yeah,” Donny said. “Him and one of the others. And the driver.”

  “And now that driver is Brett, and your brother will be in the car too,” Leonard said.

  “All right,” I said. “That doesn’t change much, it might make it easier, no armored car guys to worry with.”

  “Yeah, it really doesn’t matter,” Leonard said. “But you showed some balls by telling us, by stepping farther away from that asshole Smoke Stack.”

  “What will you do?” Donny asked.

  “What Leonard said earlier. We’ll kill them all and shit on their graves.”

  IT WAS STILL early in the day. My guess was they would keep Brett and Kelly alive until they were finished with the job. That would be their insurance until they didn’t need them anymore. I had to hold onto that idea. It was my only comfort. Still, it wouldn’t be long after the job was over that both Brett and Kelly would end up dead.

  I called Marvin and told him the situation.

  “So, how about I park somewhere where I can see them do the robbery. The asshole even told you the bank.”

  “He thinks he’s untouchable.”

  “I can be an eyewitness later. Say I saw them. Right after I shoot the living hell out of them.”

  “Just be a witness,” I said. “Don’t get involved. Leonard and I will take care of them.”

  “I know that,” Marvin said. “I never thought otherwise. But I can do my part.”

  “Not for us you won’t,” I said.

  “I didn’t say anything about it being for you and Leonard. It’s Brett I’m talking about.”

  “And I appreciate it, but just watch what goes down so you can say you saw them there. If you see us, kind of forget that you did.”

  “If they call me on the witness stand later and ask if I saw you two?”

  “Lie under oath.”

  “Certainly. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page.”

  WE MET MARVIN at a drive-through eatery about noon, had some coffee. I don’t remember if I drank mine or not. We were sitting in Marvin’s car. Leonard’s car was parked beside it. Donny was sitting with us.

  “Donny, you stay with Marvin,” I said.

  “You don’t have to worry about me running,” Donny said. “I want my brother back. I want you to get Brett back. She was right. I do get to choose.”

  “Yeah, well,” Leonard said, “talk is cheap.”

  “By the way,” I said, “in case you choose wrong, I’m not worrying about you running. Marvin will shoot you.”

  “I will,” Marvin said. “A whole lot.”

  “Maybe somebody ought to shoot me,” Donny said. It was a little dramatic, but right then I think he meant it.

  Leonard raised his hand. “Who’s for it?”

  “Right now you just stay out of trouble, Donny,” I said. “This kind of stuff is our business.”

  “Yeah, like we don’t fuck up regularly,” Leonard said.

  “Not this time,” I said.

  “But they said for you not to come,” Donny said. “That if you did they’d kill her.”

  “They’ll kill her anyway,” Marvin said. “So, it’s then or not at all.”

  Leonard and I got in his car. We had put false license plates on it that morning, and we had a roll of false pin stripes to use. It was a stick-on thing you could remove easily, then wipe the sides of the car with some rubbing alcohol and it was like it had never been there. It was a little thing, but it was something that might throw an observer off.

  Just to keep the disguise theme going, Leonard and I were going to wear hats.

  Marvin was to drive to a spot across from the bank. A hotel parking lot. It would be quite a coincidence, him being at the hotel parking lot at the same time as the robbery, considering he’d turned in information about them earlier. Information that didn’t pan out. But, he planned to tell them the hotel had a hell of a catfish buffet, and that he liked to take it in now and again, just happened to be there when the whole thing went down. Donny being there might take a bit more explaining, but in the end, truthfully, I didn’t think it would matter. Not with what I had in mind.

  We stopped in a lot behind a closed supermarket and got out and quickly put the pin stripes on the car. We put our hats on and drove to a place across the street from the bank. It used to be a mercantile store, but like most things downtown, it had gone the way of the dodo bird. From where we were, we could see the bank and we could see the hotel across the way. Marvin and Donny were parked in the lot.

  The little mercantile lot was now a free parking lot, and it was full of cars. Mostly people who worked for the bank. We didn’t try to find a parking spot, we just drove to the rear of where all the cars were and pulled up there. As we sat, a police patrol car came by on the street between us and the bank. He didn’t look our way. Which was good. I had the .22 bolt action rifle in my lap; it held one shot at a time. In the back seat was a shotgun.
We had pistols in the glove box. No land mines or golf clubs.

  I opened the door quietly and got out of the car and looked over the roof, and over the roofs of the other cars in the lot. From there I had a clear shot.

  I got back in the car.

  I looked at my watch. 1:15.

  I took a deep breath. Leonard said, “It’ll be all right.”

  “It’ll be all right when it’s all right,” I said.

  “We’ll get them.”

  “He could have lied about the time,” I said. “He could have done that.”

  “Yep,” Leonard said, “but I think he feels safe. The coward’s way is to be brave when he holds the cards. Not when he doesn’t.”

  “I just hope I’m not the one to hurt her.”

  “Hell, Hap, when was the last time you missed a shot?”

  I tried not to remember when that was, tried not to imagine I could miss.

  “Listen, brother,” Leonard said, “I can do the shooting for you. I’m not like you. You know, in Vietnam I killed a lot of men. The only ones I feel bad about are the ones I tried to kill, shot at and missed. I remember them better than the dead ones cause all I can think about is they may have gone on to kill one of us. I’m not like you. I don’t carry the burdens of popping off a bad guy. I can get closer somehow, and I can do it.”

  “No you can’t. You’re an all right shot, but when it comes to this business I’m the one to do it. And it needs to be done from as much distance as the shot will allow.”

  “You got me there.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

  I never learned to love guns. Didn’t sit around and talk about how big a hole they can put in something and from how far. I didn’t need bigger, better, and more. I don’t enjoy the smell of gun oil, don’t even like cleaning them. I don’t know all the brand names and all the calibers and such.

  But I can shoot a long rifle better than damn near anybody outside of a trained sniper, and I’m okay with a handgun if it’s not too extreme a shot. I just have a knack to aim at something and hit it. Put a long gun in my hands and I can normally put a shot up a gnat’s ass, and that’s without the gnat bending over and pointing to the target.