Chapter 14
Lila opened the windows to the dawdi haus, hoping it would air out quickly. After being closed up for several years without occupancy, the house needed a thorough cleaning, painting, and some airing out before it would be livable again. Once upon a time, Bess had used it as living space until she had the private living quarters sectioned off in the B&B. It seemed a shame to Lila that Bess had let the haus sit for so long as she looked around at the quaint little bungalow. It would be just the right size for her and her daed.
“It’s a little stuffy in here.”
Samuel’s familiar baritone voice startled her. He advanced toward her and placed a quick kiss upon her cheek before setting down a bucket full of paint supplies. She watched him move about the small rooms assessing the needed repairs.
“It won’t take much to get this place in order before your daed arrives.”
Samuel’s smile warmed her in the chilly haus. Had she made the right decision about their relationship? She wondered how long he would really be satisfied with things the way they were; sooner or later he would most likely want to marry her. Today, she decided, was not the day to think about that. She had work to do to prepare for her daed’s arrival, and she was not about to let him down.
Lila surveyed the workspace. “I figured we should leave the linens on the furniture until we get the walls painted. I figured I could help with the painting since I can’t do a lot of cleaning until it’s finished.”
Samuel smiled, his dimples tempting her to forget the painting and spend the day kissing him. But that would be neither practical nor advisable since she still wasn’t certain if that was one of her best decisions.
“I’m just happy that today is a little warmer than it was yesterday so we can leave the windows open. It’ll make the paint dry faster.”
Lila pulled on the sleeves of her sweater. “It’s still cold.”
Samuel closed the space between them and drew her into his arms. “Is that better?”
Lila had to admit it was, but it wasn’t going to get the work done. “Jah, but we have work to get done.”
She pushed him away playfully. If she wasn’t careful, she was going to fall in love with Samuel, and that was the last thing Lila planned on doing.
“Mei bruder, Caleb, and his fraa, Katie, had their boppli yesterday. Would you like to go with me to visit them?”
Lila’s heart did a flip-flop. Forget her worry over falling in love with Samuel; seeing another boppli was the last thing she planned to do.
“Nee, I have too much to do. Besides, what if Bess needs my help.” Lila knew it was an excuse, but Samuel didn’t need to know she would never help Bess with her new boppli. But how long could she expect to keep such a secret from him?
Samuel pulled on Lila playfully, keeping her close to him. “So wouldn’t you want a little place like this of your own someday?”
“I couldn’t live on my own, Silly,” Lila said.
Samuel pulled her into his arms again. “I meant with me.”
Lila pushed him away again. “I already told you I’m not marrying you.”
Samuel knelt down beside a can of white paint and used a key to open it. “I was hoping you might change your mind.”
Lila was afraid of that. He was going to keep hoping until he either gave up or spent every day trying to wear her down. Either way, all she saw was heartbreak waiting at the end for both of them. How long could they be content with just kissing before they wanted more? She already wanted more, and her stomach was in knots just thinking about it.
“I can’t, Samuel, and if you are going to continue to ask me, then the agreement we already have between us will never work.”
Samuel poured paint in a plastic pan and closed the lid on the can. “Don’t you think people will expect something to come of our relationship? What will we tell them?”
Lila picked up a paintbrush, dipped it in the paint, and brushed against the wall. “We will tell them it’s none of their business. In my opinion, people are way too nosey as it is. They think they need to know everything about you. Maybe some things are too private for everyone else to know.”
Samuel stroked the paintbrush along the opposite wall. “You won’t hear any argument out of me there. Mei schweschders talk about a lot of stuff that I don’t think is any of their business.”
Lila giggled. It was the first time Samuel had heard her laugh and he liked it.
“Does this mean we are keeping our friendship a secret?”
“We are more than friends, and I think you know that.” Samuel threatened to dab his paintbrush on her nose, but she backed away and squealed.
“I know nothing of the sort.” Lila swiped her paintbrush across Samuel’s cheek in jest.
Shaking his paintbrush toward Lila, Samuel watched her expression twist as paint splattered across the front of her, some on her face. Lila charged at him with her dripping brush, but he caught her in his clutches. She struggled to swipe at him with the paintbrush until he managed to take it from her and toss it on the drop-cloth on the floor.
“You don’t play fair,” Lila squealed. “You’re stronger than I am.”
“Just remember that when you keep turning down my proposals. I can hold out longer than you can.”
“Sounds like you’re challenging me,” she giggled.
Samuel drank in the sound of her laughter.
“You won’t turn me down forever.”
His mouth captured hers as he pulled her closer. Samuel could get used to kissing her every day; that he was certain of.
Chapter 15
“Blake Monroe, where are you taking me?”
Rachel knew he was surprising her with a first look at the completed farm in which they would live once they wed, but she allowed him to think she hadn’t a clue of his surprise. She would play along until the last minute, knowing how important this day was to her betrothed.
Blake had worked hard over the past year trying to prepare for their future together. He’d used the reward money he’d shared with Abby to build a home for the two of them to share after their wedding.
After going through the baptismal classes and taking the baptism, Blake had become Amish and very much a part of the community. Most of the menner has assisted him at one time or another in building the haus, but he’d wanted to do the inside work on his own. Rachel had to admit she was indeed very excited to see what the finished product looked like.
Eagerness filled Rachel as they approached a fair-sized farm haus complete with a large barn.
“I had no idea you were going to build this much haus,” Rachel said with surprise.
“I used the majority of the reward money, but I saved aside enough to get us through two years. I figured that would give us enough time to make the farm operational where we could pull in a reasonable profit and yield enough of a crop to support us too. Your grandfather was very generous to sell me all thirty acres of his land, and I want to put it to good use.”
Rachel couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride for Blake. “You thought of everything. You have a sound business sense.”
Blake chuckled. “I can’t take credit for that. If not for Hiram’s guidance, along with several of the men in the community, I would have probably spent the entire thing on just the house alone. I had visions of living in a mansion!”
Rachel sighed at the beauty of grossdaddi’s property that had become theirs, and the haus and barn that she would soon call her own. “We don’t need a mansion. This is perfect for us.”
Blake nudged her playfully. “It has a few extra bedrooms for bopplies.”
Rachel felt her cheeks warm as Blake helped her out of the buggy. Already, Rachel envisioned flowerbeds filled with colorful, fragrant blooms and the kitchen garden she would have out back between the haus and the barn. A fenced corral beside the barn was set up for the horses, and she could already hear the chickens that would cluck as they roamed the yard. She could almost taste the fresh eggs that she wo
uld cook in her own kitchen—her own kitchen. She liked the thought of that.
“Are we going to look inside today, or do you want to save that for after our wedding?”
Rachel looked at him quizzically. “You don’t want me to see the inside? I thought you said it was finished.”
Blake scooped her into his arms to shield her from the chilly wind. “I can’t wait for you to see the inside of the house, but Englisch tradition dictates that I am to carry you over the threshold the night of our wedding.”
Rachel giggled as she nuzzled Blake’s neck to warm herself. “That sounds very romantic.”
Blake smothered her cheek with kisses until his lips met hers. “Does this mean you want to observe an Englisch tradition and wait to see the inside until I can carry you over the threshold?”
Rachel didn’t have to think about the sacrifices Blake had made for her. The haus and his baptism had been more than she could have ever asked for. And so for him, she would gladly wait and share an Englisch tradition with the mann she loved.
Chapter 16
“Lila, could I trouble you to watch Adam for me while I get cleaned up?” Bess asked. “I feel like I haven’t had but one bath in the week since I’ve had him.”
Lila’s voice caught in her throat, and before she could make a reasonable excuse as to why she couldn’t watch him, the woman had disappeared into the washroom. Panic seized Lila as she crept near the cradle where little Adam slept soundly. She’d only entered the room the change the bed linens, and now she wished she hadn’t.
What would she do if the boppli stirred from his peaceful slumber? She’d never held a boppli, and she didn’t know the first thing about how to pick him up without breaking him or dropping him. She’d watched Rachel flop him around like a kitten, and she didn’t think she could ever handle a boppli with such ease. Not to mention the fact that she wanted nothing to do with bopplies.
Still, his little gurgling noises enticed her to draw close to the cradle and observe him sleep. His tiny little fists rested above the top edge of the quilt that was tucked snuggly around his tiny frame. He seemed so perfect in every way as he let little wisps of air escape his tiny rosebud mouth. The magnetic pull to watch Adam sleep was more than Lila thought possible. She’d never been this close to a boppli, and she had to admit, it was easy to see how others might be so enamored with the wee one.
Lila tiptoed around the room, cringing every time a floorboard creaked. Setting about the task of stripping the bed, Lila was extra careful not to make any noise. She carefully tucked in the bottom sheet and placed the pillow slips onto the feather pillows. After partially unfolding the top sheet, she flicked it to spread across the surface of the double bed. The crack of the linen as it floated above the bed startled Adam, causing him to let out a loud cry.
“Nee, nee,” Lila said to the boppli. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I promise I’ll be quieter if you stop crying.”
Adam wailed so loudly, he could not have heard Lila’s pleas—even if he could understand her. She rocked the cradle, hoping it would quiet him, but it was no use. Panic nearly seized her at the thought of having to pick him up. If Bess returned from her shower and saw that Lila had not tended to Adam, she would be angry.
Gott please make him stop crying. I’m too afraid to pick him up. What if I accidently drop him?
Peace filled Lila as soon as she breathed the prayer. Instinctively, she placed a hand under the boppli, cradling his head and bottom, and lifted him carefully from the cradle. He was much lighter than she’d anticipated—no heavier than the Miller’s puppies.
Drawing him into the crook of her arms, Lila delighted in his sweet smell. She lifted his tiny head to her nose and breathed in the most heavenly scent she’d ever come across. How could something she’d feared all her life be so wunderbaar?
Little Adam looked up at her with big blue eyes that broke through the hardness over Lila’s heart. She nestled him closer, surprised at the emotions that put a lump in her throat. How could she have thought to deprive herself of such a feeling? Had her own mamm felt this way about her just before she’d died? Lila’s daed had described the look on her mamm’s face when she’d held her for the first time after giving birth—just minutes before she’d hemorrhaged and passed away. Suddenly, thoughts of her mamm didn’t bring pain and anger to the surface of her emotions, for they were too overcrowded with the simple joy of having a boppli in her arms.
Lila breathed a silent prayer, thankful for the opportunity to experience such joy in something that had paralyzed her with fear for so many years. Even though Adam was not her boppli, her heart filled with love toward him—an emotion she never would have thought was possible. She hugged her little cousin close and kissed the top of his sweet smelling head. Laughter filled her at the delight that poured over her. For the first time in her life, she felt free from the bondage of fear that had held her captive for too long. It was a liberating feeling to let go of something that had nearly ruined her future. She prayed that it wasn’t too late for her to change this part of her life around.
Tears filled Lila’s eyes as she suddenly realized how much she desired marrying Samuel and having as many bopplies as Gott would bless them with. Eagerness to tell Samuel she’d marry him occupied her immediate thoughts. It would be tough waiting for him to propose again—especially since she’d begged him not to ask her again. Nervousness crowded her sudden joy, overwhelming her with worry that he would never say the words again.
Lila looked down into Adam’s innocent face.
“I think I’ve made a mess of things,” she cooed to him. “What will I do if he never asks me again?”
Fresh tears filled Lila’s eyes turning her joy to sorrow.
Chapter 17
Rachel’s hands trembled as she fingered the letter she pulled from the mailbox. The return address told her it had come from the prison, and she wondered why Bruce would write to her. She was aware of the recent letter Blake had received from his daed, but she wasn’t certain she could stomach the words of the mann who had kidnapped her just over a year ago. She’d worked so hard to put the incident behind her, and now, as she held the letter penned by the mann who had nearly killed her betrothed, Rachel felt the old wounds breaking open again.
Walking up the lane from the main road where the line of mailboxes invited the Englisch world to invade the peacefulness of their seclusion, Rachel felt secure in the protection her familye provided and in knowing Bruce would not likely get out of prison until he was a very old mann. Still, the letter set her nerves on edge, and she contemplated disposing of the letter without opening it. Knowing it wouldn’t be right to keep the letter from Blake, Rachel tucked the letter in her apron pocket and walked up to the haus.
Not yet ready to go inside, Rachel pulled her cloak tightly around her and sat in one of the rockers on the front porch. She looked out onto the lawn and the large oak tree with its long branches that canopied the circle driveway. Sunlight glinted off the orange and red leaves. The crisp, afternoon sky boasted fluffy clouds teased with a silver lining of rain, and Lila wondered if it would bring the season’s first snow flurries. If not for the chill from the breeze, Rachel could easily snuggle up on the porch swing and take a catnap. She was exhausted from endless preparations for her upcoming wedding, but her emotions now caved with heaviness from the letter tucked away in her apron pocket.
Why had Bruce chosen now to reach out to her? She wished he’d waited to contact her until after they’d put the wedding and its business behind them. But would there ever be a gut time to receive news from the mann who’d caused her and Blake so much grief? If only she hadn’t seen the letter. It was too late now, and she would not be able to hide her melancholy from Blake.
Gott, renew the forgiveness I have in my heart for Bruce Monroe. Prepare my heart to receive whatever is in his letter, and bless me with the strength to be able to endure it.
A warm breeze brushed Rachel’s cheeks, making her shiver—not from the
cold day, but from the unusual warmth her prayer brought. Still shaking, Rachel lifted the letter from her apron pocket and opened it. She was ready to face the words of the mann who had kidnapped her—with a heart full of forgiveness.
Dear Rachel,
It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter to you. I know I don’t have any right to be asking any favors of you, but I need to know that you forgive me for what I did to hurt you last summer. I never meant to cause any harm to anyone. At the time, I was consumed with alcohol, and that can make a man do terrible things. I’ve had more than a year to sober up in jail, and I even started going to Bible study with the preacher and a few other inmates.
I am truly sorry for what happened. I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive myself for shooting my own flesh and blood, but I thank God every day he didn’t die because of the hate I carried in my heart. Blake is everything to me, and I’m just sorry it took me so long to realize it.
I still don’t really know how this forgiveness thing works, but my boy told me the Amish people are true forgivers. I have prayed that is true. I only wish I can someday experience the unconditional love that the two of you have for each other, and my son seems to have for me. He’s told me he forgives me, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around such a thing—especially since I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive myself for almost killing him and putting you in so much danger. I’m sorry for scaring you half to death that day.
Because of my actions, I will miss out on seeing the two of you get married, and seeing my grandchildren grow up. Truthfully, that hardly seems punishment enough for what I put the two of you through. Know that I will pray for you, and spend the rest of my days in repentance for what I’ve done.
Yours Truly,
Bruce Monroe
Tears dripped from Rachel’s eyes onto the page. How could she begrudge the mann for his apology—especially if it was from his heart? The letter seemed genuine enough, but she still held a little distrust for him. She breathed a quick prayer asking for guidance. Then her answer came to her.
Under the Harvest Moon: Book Seven Page 5
