Honky Tonk Christmas

by Carolyn Brown

  “You can’t understand until you’ve been to Corn,” she said. His big callused hands felt so good on her tight neck muscles.

  “That family can be a nightmare. I believe I do, lady.”

  She leaned forward and tilted her head to the left. “Right there. God, that feels so good.”

  “You’ve got a knot as big as a baseball. Stop worryin’. I promise I won’t pick my nose or spit on the carpet,” he said.

  She smiled. “For a massage like this, I’d…”

  He chuckled. “You’d what?”

  “Nothing.” She blushed.

  She’d been about to say that she’d take him to the hay barn and spend the night with him if he’d give her a full body massage. But if he did, her skin would be so hot that she’d set the barn on fire.

  “Come on. Tell me what you’d do for a full body massage with good smellin’ oil and maybe candles and music?” he teased.

  Judd stretched and asked Waylon if he’d had a good nap. Holt looked back in the rearview at them.

  “Saved by the bell,” he said.

  “What bell? Was there a bell? I didn’t sleep. I just rested my eyes and thought about all them kids we get to play with,” Waylon said.

  “Me neither,” Judd said. “How much more is it ’til we get there? And who has got a bell?”

  “Just a few minutes.” Sharlene looked out the window in hopes that the blush would fade and Holt would forget about what she’d do for a massage. Just thinking the word kept her face a bright scarlet. She couldn’t imagine the color it would be if they really did wind up in that kind of place.

  Good Lord, I’ve got to rein in my wicked imagination, she thought.

  “That’s forever.” Holt did his best imitation of Judd whining.

  Sharlene smiled. “No, it’s not. Five hours is forever. A few minutes is just a little while and besides, I don’t color outside the lines.”

  “If y’all fight you’ll have to stand in the corner,” Waylon said seriously.

  “Or you won’t get to play all day and that’s even worse,” Judd chimed in.

  “It is not!” Waylon declared.

  “Is too,” Judd shot right back at him.

  They argued about which punishment was worse.

  Holt looked over at Sharlene and winked.

  “You want to play nice?” he asked.

  “I’ll decide later. Right now I’m hungry and I get real cranky when I’m hungry,” she said.

  He chuckled.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Your grandma Waverly must have been a handful.”

  She pointed a finger at him but was careful not to let it touch him in any way. “Yes, she was and I didn’t dip into her gene pool. I fell into it and almost drowned before they fished me out and named me after her. So don’t you forget it, mister. Make a right turn at the next crossroads.”

  “Bossy as well. Was your grandmother’s name Sharlene?”

  “No, it was June and that’s my middle name. And Mr. Jackson, you’re skating on some thin ice saying that I’m bossy.”

  “Don’t be silly, Sharlene. Uncle Holt ain’t skatin’. He’s driving us to see the kids and play. Are we almost there? How much farther is it?” Waylon asked.

  “Not very far now,” Holt told him. “I bet if you look at the Bambi book real slow and really study the pictures we’ll be there before you get it done.”

  Waylon turned the pages as fast as he could. When he reached the last page, a very loud voice piped up behind Sharlene, “The end.”

  “Are we there yet, Sharlene? Is that the house where all them trucks and cars is parked?” Waylon look at the swings in the backyard. “Can we play on them too, Sharlene?” If Judd hadn’t been strapped down with seat belts she would have hit the ceiling the way she was jumping around and trying to see everything at once.

  “After dinner, you can run and play all you want and since you rested your eyes on the way up here, I bet you don’t even have to take a nap today. Don’t be shy with the kids,” Sharlene said.

  “I’m not ever shy with anyone. I walk right up to them and tell them my name and if they want to be my friend then we are friends and if they don’t want to be my friend then I go find someone who does. Waylon is shy, but not me,” Judd said.

  “Am not,” he said.

  “Yes you are but I’m not,” Judd defended her stand.

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “Are too.”

  Sharlene didn’t care who was the introvert or the extrovert. She just wanted the first five minutes to be over and done with. After that she could hold her own. Dread and excitement both filled her as Holt parked the truck beside the others. Her mother came out on the porch and started toward them as Sharlene opened the truck door.

  Molly wrapped Sharlene up in a hug. “You are just in time. We’re ready to say grace in five minutes. Lord, girl, you are too thin. Have you been sick?”

  “This is your mother?” Holt asked. The woman was nearly six feet tall, had blond hair without any sign of gray, and crystal clear blue eyes. There was no way someone as lanky as Molly Waverly had given birth to five kids and yet there she stood, living proof that she had. Her flowing floral skirt stopped at mid-calf. A soft blue knit shirt was belted at her narrow waist with a wide yellow belt that matched her sandals.

  “I already like him for just those four words. Y’all come on in the house and meet the rest of the family,” Molly said.

  “Momma, this is Holt and this is Waylon and his twin sister, Judd,” Sharlene said.

  “You can call me Molly and you kiddos can call me Granny like the rest of the kids do.” She threw an arm around Sharlene’s shoulders. “Their momma must have liked country music, so that makes her our kind of people.”

  Chapter 7

  Claud met them at the door and wrapped Sharlene up in a fatherly hug. “Lord, girl, it seems like ten years since I’ve seen you. I’m Claud Waverly, Sharlene’s daddy, and you must be Holt Jackson. We’re glad to have you, son. Make yourself at home.” He shook Holt’s hand with his right one but kept his left arm around Sharlene’s shoulders for a minute longer before he stooped down to talk to the children. He was as tall as Molly, had thick brown hair and green eyes. He wore creased jeans, boots, and a white pearl snapped shirt and a wide smile split his angular face.

  “We’re glad you kiddos could come see us this weekend. We got lots to do on the farm and there’s plenty of other folks your size to play with but first we have to make Granny happy and eat all this food she’s cooked up for y’all. You can call me Gramps like the other kids do. That all right with you?”

  Waylon nodded seriously.

  “I am hungry to death,” Judd said.

  Claud chuckled. “Then let’s get on in here. Everyone is gathered around the table and waiting for y’all to get here so we can say grace. Come on in and then we’ll let you eat and get acquainted with the other kids.”

  He led them inside where everyone waited. “Okay, Jeff, will you give thanks for us so these kids won’t starve and then we’ll visit?” Claud looked at his eldest son.

  Silence filled the big kitchen while Jeff prayed. Holt opened one eye a slit and studied the man. He was the image of his father. Same height. Same build. Same thick brown hair. He held a woman’s hand as he prayed. That had to be Lisa, his wife. She barely came to his shoulder and carried twenty or thirty extra pounds. She was blond-haired and Holt caught a glimpse of icy blue eyes before she shut them for the prayer.

  “Amen,” Jeff said.

  “Amen,” Claud echoed. “Now these kids need to get their plates first. Once they’re settled then us adults can take care of ourselves. There’s tables set up in the backyard for everyone and if you go home hungry, it’s your own fault. This here is Waylon and that’s his sister, Judd. You Waverly kids make these two feel welcome now.”

  Sharlene joined her sisters-in-law helping the children get their food on their plates. “Okay, Waylon and Judd, come over here and sho
w me what looks good to you.”

  Claud clapped a hand on Holt’s shoulder. “Did y’all have a good little drive up here from Texas?”

  “We did,” Holt said.

  “But they almost had a fight,” Judd said.

  “And we told them they’d have to stand in the corner if they did,” Waylon piped up.

  “We didn’t really have a fight,” Sharlene yelled above the din of fourteen kids ranging from a very independent four-year-old girl up to a thirteen-year-old boy.

  Claud shook his head slowly. “It’s the red hair. She is the image of my grandma. Thought we’d gotten those genes weeded out but they popped right back up again.”

  Molly threw up her hands. “That temper of hers comes from his side. Mine is all good-natured German stock without any of that Irish blood. I begged for a daughter and I got one but Claud’s grandma marked her.”

  Holt grinned and looked over the huge family. He’d never seen so many blonde women in his life. The daughters-in-law looked more like Molly Waverly than Sharlene did. Lisa was taller than Sharlene and a few pounds heavier. Fiona was rail thin and tall. Clara was about Sharlene’s height but slightly heavier, and Jenny looked like a high school cheerleader. But they were all blonde and blue-eyed.

  Sharlene stuck her tongue out at the whole bunch of them and carried two plates outside with Waylon and Judd following her.

  “Where do you want to sit?” she asked.

  Miles’ daughter, Jodie, piped up. “Aunt Sharlene, bring them over here. Me and Tasha and Matty want them to sit by us.”

  Sharlene set Waylon’s plate down beside Matty. “Matty, aren’t you six? Waylon and you should be about the same age.”

  “I’m seven, Aunt Sharlene. I’m in first grade. What grade are you in, Waylon?” Matty asked.

  “I’m in the first grade too. Was you scared on the first day?”

  “Naw, it wasn’t no different than kindiegarden,” Matty said. “Want to go see the goats when we get done eatin’?”

  “Can I pet them?” Waylon asked.

  “Sure, but we can’t chase them or the sheep. Gramps says that’ll make them hot and they’ll die,” Matty said seriously.

  Sharlene took a couple of steps and set Judd’s plate beside Jodie. Her niece had lost two front teeth and looked like a Halloween pumpkin when she smiled. “Jodie and Tasha, this is Judd. Y’all got any kittens out in the barn?”

  Judd’s eyes sparkled. “For real kittens? Not just stuffed ones?”

  “Granny’s got two old momma cats with babies. After we eat me and Jodie will take Judd out to see them. Granny says we can play with them if their eyes are open and we can find them. If you play with them before their eyes are open they’ll get sick but Granny says they’re probably open by now so we’ll hunt them when we get through eating,” Tasha said.

  “You going to be all right for me to go back inside?” Sharlene whispered.

  Judd nodded.

  “I ain’t never heard of a girl named Judd before,” Tasha said.

  “My momma liked them singing women, Wynona and Naomi Judd. There was another one named Ashley but she don’t sing. Momma didn’t know whether to name me Wynona or Naomi. Since she couldn’t decide she just named me Ashley Judd Mendoza,” Judd explained.

  “Where is your momma?” Jodie asked.

  “She died,” Judd answered.

  Sharlene stopped on the other side of an enormous pecan tree and listened.

  “What color is them kittens?” Judd asked.

  “All colors. Some is black and white and some is orange. Do you like cats?” Tasha asked.

  “I like cats and dogs. Who made these beans? I like them too,” Judd said.

  “My momma,” Tasha answered. “She makes the best baked beans in the whole world.”

  Sharlene exhaled loudly. Kids were so flexible. One minute they could be fighting and the next playing together. Thank goodness. An adult would have talked about the idea of Judd’s mother for hours.

  Men were gathered around the buffet table when she went back inside the big country kitchen. Molly Waverly had never wanted a separate dining room but had always been content with a kitchen the size of a hay barn. U-shaped cabinets covered the west end, part of the south side, and a portion of the north with the kitchen table placed so they could watch the sun come up in the east. An archway opened into the living room creating an enormous great room. Two sofas that made out into beds faced each other with a coffee table between them. Recliners were on either end and a big screen television took up the south wall. A toy box overflowing with trucks and Barbie dolls sat in one corner and pictures of the Waverly children and grandchildren decorated the walls.

  Holt looked up from the buffet table and winked at Sharlene. She hoped his wink was proof that he hadn’t told them he was building an addition on a beer joint for her. There were so many little secrets lying around like TNT with a short fuse. They’d all hit the fan someday and a class five tornado would look like a sweet little summer breeze. But she didn’t intend to fan the winds that day, not unless she had no other choice.

  Holt followed the Waverly men out the back door. He carried his overloaded plate in one hand and a glass of iced tea in the other. He didn’t look too shabby from behind either, Sharlene was thinking when Fiona nudged her.

  “Tell us about Holt,” Fiona said. “We had a little meeting last night and Momma told us you were bringing him, but we didn’t expect him to look like he walked out of a movie star magazine, though.”

  “He’s a friend and he and the kids don’t have family. So I invited him for the weekend. So you think he’s a handsome hunk, do you?” Sharlene picked up a plate and forked a slab of ham to start with.

  Jenny was right behind her. “What does he do for a living?”

  Sharlene got a wicked gleam in her eye. “He models for trashy romance novels.”

  “Well, I could believe that. He’s a fine looking man,” Molly said.

  “Momma!” Sharlene’s voice was shrill.

  “Hey, I look at those books when I’m in the Wal-Mart store just like everyone else does and he could do that job, but you are joshing us. What does he really do?” Molly asked.

  “Would you believe he’s a homeless bum that I picked off the street?” Sharlene teased.

  Molly shook a finger at Sharlene. “I would not and I’ve had enough of your sass, girl.”

  “Okay, don’t get your underpants in a twist, Momma. He has a construction company with three other guys. They build houses, do remodeling, build barns, whatever comes their way, and they stay very busy because they are the best in the whole state of Texas.” Sharlene stopped before she said everyone in Palo Pinto County was after them to do carpentry.

  “Hard workin’. Good lookin’. How come he’s only your friend? Bad divorce?” Lisa asked.

  “No, he’s never been married. The kids are his niece and nephew. Twins. Their mother was killed in a drunk driver accident.”

  “Oh, those poor babies,” Clara gasped.

  “Holt is the only one left in his family and the kids’ paternal grandparents didn’t want the responsibility,” Sharlene explained. Anything to keep the spotlight from her.

  “Where is their father?” Fiona asked.

  “He got killed before they were born. He was only eighteen and he and their mother had just been married a little while. Let’s eat. I’m starving. And what’s this about having a meeting before I got here? That’s not fair,” Sharlene said.

  “It wasn’t a bare-thy-soul meeting like we will have later on today; just a visit while we planned today so everyone would know you were bringing company home. And we are not eating until you tell me if there’s a chance you might be more than friends with Holt,” Molly asked.

  Jenny giggled. “She’s got a new neighbor. Man bought out the Kalanski place next farm over and he’s not married. He’s not as pretty as Holt but he’s a decent man. Goes to church with us and teaches the teenage boys’ Sunday school class. He wea
rs glasses and his hair is thin but he’s kind and patient. He’d make a wonderful father. You could do a heck of a lot worse.”

  Sharlene took a deep breath and lied. “Sorry, there’s a big chance this could turn into something more than friends. Y’all fix Dorie up with the new farmer. She’s been a widow for more than a year now.”

  “Well, why didn’t you tell us to begin with?” Excitement filled Molly’s voice.

  “I didn’t want to jinx it.”

  “If that’s the case then today we’re sitting beside our men, girls. Not a word of this leaves the kitchen. If it gets jinxed it won’t be because your husbands and my sons got wind of it.” Molly issued orders.

  They filed out of the kitchen door, each holding a plate in one hand and a glass of tea in the other. Jeff looked puzzled when Lisa sat in the chair next to his. They’d all been married long enough that the men usually congregated around one end of the table to talk about sports, politics, and farming. The women gathered up at the other end to visit about things so secret they were discussed in quiet whispers. He’d learned early on in the marriage not to ask about what went on at that end of the table. Either it bored him nigh unto death or else Lisa would say that she was sworn to secrecy.

  When Lisa sat down all the men scooted around leaving empty chairs between them.

  “Y’all ain’t got no secrets today?” Claud asked Molly.

  “Y’all got some you don’t want us to hear?” she asked right back.

  “We were talking about remodeling that old house we bought in town and maybe selling it, then using the profit to buy a couple more and fixing them up. I think we could make a few dollars after talking to Holt here. He’s into that kind of business. What were y’all talking about?” Claud asked.

  “We been discussin’ tomorrow,” Molly answered. “Did you make all these boys known to Holt?”

  Holt nodded. The tallest one and the image of his father was Jeff. The next one, Matthew, looked more like Molly. The third son, Bart, was shorter with the lightest hair and bluest eyes. Miles was more like Jeff as if the cycle was starting all over again.