Honky Tonk Christmas

by Carolyn Brown

  She shivered in spite of the heat.

  “I know we’d have no luck at all.” She stood up, fastened her bra back, and started down the ladder.

  Chapter 8

  When Sharlene opened the door all five women went silent, which was proof positive they’d been plotting against her. Not a one of them could stand to see a woman past twenty-one without a husband. That might be the reason the Ladies Circle met once a week. The idea of studying the women in the Bible was probably a cover-up. Kind of like the mob laundering money through something clean and righteous. The Circle probably did a quick five-minute study of Esther or Hannah and then they put away their study guides and got down to serious business.

  Sharlene imagined the conversation when her mother locked the door and the president of the LC, which stood for Love Cupid instead of Ladies Circle, started the real meeting. Someone would list the names of local lasses and hers would be at the top where it had been the past eight years. They thought they had her matched up with a good decent man right out of high school and she’d foiled their wedding plans. She bet they even had Loma buying up extra flour to make a nice five-tiered carrot cake and Dotty lined up for the groom’s cheesecakes. If she looked in the attic, she’d find at least one issue of Bride magazine hidden away in a cardboard box. Her mother might have even dog-eared the pages of the dresses she thought would be nice on a short red-haired girl.

  They’d never give up on a mission but they’d gone on to the name under hers. No sense in wasting time over someone who moved so far away. No wonder her mother was in such a rush to get to the Circle meeting that week. Sharlene was coming home and Molly had a new neighbor, Wayne. And if not with Wayne, well, she was bringing a co-worker home with her and Molly could always work her magic through her cooking. They’d all breathed in relief and said a prayer. If they could just get Sharlene married off they wouldn’t be complete failures and there would be a chance they wouldn’t miss out on heaven’s glory. She wasn’t sure that St. Peter would let them through the doors if they didn’t get every woman who’d been born or ever lived in Corn happily married.

  When they heard that she was writing hot romance books and she owned a bar they’d ban her from ever being on their list again. St. Peter would give them a second chance in those circumstances. The devil had been working against them the whole time would be their defense.

  Jenny filled a tea glass with ice and handed it to Sharlene. “Are you over your snit?”

  “I was never in a snit. I just had to get some air and get away from all you matchmakers. The harder you push me, the faster I’ll run. So stop,” Sharlene said.

  “We just want you to be happy,” Molly said.

  “I am happy. I’ve got… a good job and…” she stammered before she gave away too much.

  “What are you hiding?” Jenny asked.

  “What are you hiding?” Sharlene turned the question back on her.

  Jenny blushed.

  “Aha, Momma, we’ve got a secret. Think we need to ferret it out or can it wait until Saturday for the Circle?” Sharlene asked.

  Molly pointed at Sharlene. “What’s the Circle got to do with our family?”

  Sharlene ignored the question. “What is it, Jenny? I’m going to goad until you ’fess up.”

  Jenny folded her arms under her breasts. “I’ll do the same to you. I can tell when you aren’t telling the whole truth. You’re hiding something big and important. So you’ve got a good job and what else is there that made you stumble on your words? This is our Waverly round table. What we talk about stays here and goes no further and we haven’t had a real one since you left and something has happened. What is it?”

  “Truce? Just forget that I had a brain fart and couldn’t think.” Sharlene grinned.

  “It’s too late for that,” Fiona said. “Now you’ve got our curiosity all worked up. We won’t be able to sleep for trying to figure it out and then when you tell us we’ll be angry that it wasn’t anything to be losing sleep over.”

  The smile on Sharlene’s face faded quickly.

  Oh, honey, you’ll be thinking that you didn’t lose enough sleep when you find out my secret. But you’re not getting it that quickly.

  Sharlene propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands. If they wanted to play with the big dogs she’d show them how it was done. She’d know every one of their secrets before she told them a single thing about the Honky Tonk and then it wouldn’t be such a big thing. “What’s your secret, Fiona? You jumped in there too quick so you’re covering up something too.”

  “I’m not doing any such thing.” She blushed.

  Sharlene went on. “And you, Lisa? What’s under your hat this week?’

  Lisa pointed a long, slim finger at her. “Not one thing and I won’t lose a bunch of sleep worrying about you so if you don’t want to tell us what’s going on between you and Mr. Handsome then that’s fine with me. I’d rather talk recipes and get Momma to tell me how to handle a boy going through puberty than talk about your problems anyway.”

  “So Creed is giving you problems and you’ve got two more coming right up behind him and you’re wondering how you’ll keep all that pretty blond hair from going gray before you get them all raised, right?” Sharlene asked.

  Lisa grimaced. “You got it.”

  Sharlene listened with one ear and wondered what the men were discussing as they toured the ranch. Right after she and Holt had crawled down the ladder to see the kittens, her four brothers and father had appeared in the doorway and asked Holt if he wanted to check cattle with them. She didn’t know how he fared, but she’d kept her head down and didn’t look at her father or brothers. They didn’t need to know that she and Holt were up there acting like two love-struck teenagers making out in a hayloft.

  “Go on. If you don’t there’ll be more questions than either of us want to answer,” she’d whispered to Holt and he’d left with them without even a peck on the cheek. Was that so she wouldn’t be embarrassed or was it because he didn’t want anything but a making out session?

  She’d played with the new kittens a few minutes then left them with the little girls and went back to the house. That comment he’d made about being sent to put out the fire suddenly surfaced and she knew her father had been behind it. Did her father and her mother have a bet going as to who could get Sharlene married off first? Did she have a snowball’s chance in hell’s furnace if they were both determined? If she ever got back to Mingus she didn’t intend to return to Corn until every bachelor in a fifty mile radius was happily married.

  Lisa was still talking about her oldest son, Creed, when Sharlene made herself stop thinking about Holt and listen.

  “He wants to argue about everything and fight with his brothers all the time. He’s too old to play with them and too young to be interested in girls.”

  Sharlene laughed. “Old enough to sleep by himself but too old to want to.”

  Lisa glared at her. “That’s enough of that kind of talk. He’s not even fourteen yet and that’s too young for girls.”

  “Betcha he’s got one in his sights. She might be the most popular little blonde in his class and he’s afraid to ask her to whatever it is they call it these days,” Sharlene said.

  “Talk to her. That’s the lingo today. They don’t go out or date, they talk to each other. I guess that’s because of Facebook, cell phones, and all that stuff where they can text message twenty-four hours a day,” Jenny said.

  “Christina Alvarez,” Lisa whispered.

  “That little Mexican girl whose dad came up here to help with the harvest and then brought his whole family? The one that lives out in the trailer on your property?” Molly asked.

  “That’s the one. That’s why he’s so irritable. I’ve seen them riding horses together but I just figured they were the same age and friends. Her father is the hired help and I’ll betcha he thinks that me and Jeff will pitch a fit if he likes her. Who knows how in the devil a boy’s mind wo
rks anyway. Now what do I do? I should’ve had girls,” Lisa asked.

  “Sure, and then you’d be fighting with her over wearing thong underpants and wanting to line her eyes with so much black that she looks like a hoot owl,” Clara said.

  “Amelia is only eleven. She’s not into those things yet, is she?” Sharlene asked.

  “No, but the thirteen-year-old girls at school are doing those things so it’s coming and I dread it,” Clara said.

  Molly held up a hand and everyone looked at her. “I’ll tell you what you do. Invite her to dinner tomorrow. Invite the whole family. It’ll show Creed that we aren’t that kind of people.”

  “What kind is that, Momma?” Sharlene asked.

  “The kind that looks down on people for what they do or who they are,” Molly said.

  “Promise?” Sharlene asked.

  “Why would I promise such a thing? We never have been ugly to our neighbors or friends,” Molly said.

  Lisa sighed. “I remember when I was in love with Jeff and I wasn’t but a year older than they are. I’ll invite them and that should show him we aren’t going to be upset that he likes her.”

  “Okay, Clara, you’re next in line. What’s on your mind today?” Sharlene asked.

  Crimson crept into Clara’s cheeks. “Not one thing.”

  “Then why are you blushing?” Lisa asked. She’d confessed her problems and now she’d join forces with Sharlene and they’d dig the secrets out of the rest of the family. They’d done this many Sundays around the kitchen table while their men talked politics and wheat harvest.

  Clara sighed. “I’m going to work Tuesday morning.”

  Molly spun around in her chair so fast that her neck popped. “Where?”

  “The principal at the school called yesterday. The teacher’s aide they hired decided not to work at the last minute. He offered me the job. Matty is in first grade and I was dreading staying home all day alone.”

  “Good for you,” Sharlene said.

  “You’ll be swamped with a job and taking care of the kids and the house after working all day. What does Matthew think of that idea?” Molly asked.

  “We talked about it. We’re going to bank my salary and not get used to having a second income. If I don’t like it or if it’s too big of a job I can quit without a problem. But if I do, then once a year we’re going to use my salary to take a vacation with the kids. To go somewhere we couldn’t afford otherwise,” she said.

  “I love it,” Sharlene said.

  Clara pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “I knew you’d think I was independent and give me a thumbs-up. You’ve always been independent and sassy. What do you really think, Momma?”

  “If you want to give it a whirl, go for it,” Molly said.

  “Thank you,” Clara sighed. “I’ve been afraid to mention it for fear there’d be a…”

  “Shit storm,” Sharlene giggled.

  “Potty mouth.” Clara looked at her.

  Sharlene nodded. “You got that right on the nose. Add brassy and sassy to it and you’ve got a picture of your sister-in-law. It’s your turn, Fiona. What is going on in your world that you wouldn’t tell another soul outside the family?”

  She covered her face with her hands and spoke from behind her fingertips. “Bart has been flirting with another woman.”

  Molly grabbed her heart. “Who?”

  “Some new woman at the bank. He’s still good looking and all she has to do is look at the accounts to know that he’s not a poor pauper. And she’s only about twenty-two or three. Still young and firm and hasn’t had four kids,” Fiona whispered.

  Sharlene reached across the table and touched her shoulder. “What have you done about it and how far has it gone?”

  “Nothing and last week he sent her flowers,” Fiona said.

  Molly gritted her teeth. “I’ll talk to him.”

  “How’d you find out about the flowers?” Jenny asked.

  “My second cousin works in the bank.” Fiona dropped her hands and knotted them together until her knuckles turned white.

  Sharlene covered Fiona’s hands with hers. “Bart didn’t marry a mealy mouthed woman who walked two steps behind him, girl. He married you because you were the only woman in town who made him toe the line. He’d dated those sweet little prissy girls but it was you who made him fall in love. Remember how you used to get right up in his face and argue with him? I was twelve when y’all got married and I always wanted to be just like you. So go get up in his face and tell him you’re going to move the whole bank account into one with your name only and you’re going to take the kids with the money. Right after you mop up Main Street with that hussy’s tight little ass.”

  “I feel fat and ugly,” Fiona said.

  “Don’t you tell him that,” Sharlene said.

  “Then what do I tell him?” Fiona asked.

  “You tell him if he sends flowers to that woman or any other woman again that he’ll be pushing up daisies when you get done with him. That you are willing to give him one more chance since he hasn’t slept with the hussy. But if it happens again, you will own his farm, his kids, and you’ll put his ass through a wood chipper,” Sharlene said.

  “Good advice,” Molly said. “All men let their eyes stray but when it goes beyond that, it’s time for you to step up and take care of it. Do it tonight because we won’t have time for a meeting like this tomorrow with all the people who’ll be here.”

  Sharlene appreciated her mother for not asking Fiona what she’d done wrong in the relationship, or for saying that if Fiona was keeping her man happy that his eyes wouldn’t be straying.

  Fiona took a deep breath and looked around the table. “Thank you all for being my support group. Sharlene, my sass is ninety percent pure bullshit bluff but don’t tell anyone I admitted it.”

  “I guess I’m going to need the support group too,” Jenny said.

  They all looked at her.

  “I’m pregnant,” she blurted out.

  Silence filled the room for a good minute.

  “It was an accident. Remember when I had the flu? I forgot that the pills sometimes fail when you are on antibiotics,” Jenny finally whispered.

  Sharlene started to giggle. “Congratulations.”

  “What’s so funny? I only wanted two kids, a boy and a girl, and now they are both in school.”

  “And now you will have a Sharlene.” Molly started to laugh too.

  “That’s what I’m afraid of. What if it’s a red-haired girl with a temper?” Jenny moaned.

  Sharlene’s laughter was infectious and everyone joined in.

  Molly wiped at her eyes. “Or worse yet, a red-haired boy with a temper.”

  When the giggling stopped, Jenny pointed a finger at Sharlene. “It’s your turn.”

  “Not yet. Momma hasn’t told us what her secret is. It’s been eight months since we’ve done this so surely she’s got something to say,” Sharlene said.

  “Only thing I’m guilty of is trying to find you a decent husband. I miss our table discussions and confessions and I want you back home,” Molly said.

  “And what makes you think if you did find me one that I’d be living in Corn?” Sharlene asked.

  “Because you miss us as much as we miss you,” Molly said. “And if I remember right, what started this whole thing was Jenny accusing you of having a secret. So out with it.”

  Sharlene’s news wasn’t any worse than Jenny being pregnant or Bart sending flowers to another woman. Or was it? Should she wait and tell her mother first or spit it out right then so she’d have the other women to help her if Molly dropped with an acute heart attack?

  “I own a beer joint in Mingus, Texas. It’s called the Honky Tonk and Holt is putting an addition on it because business is so good that I’ve got customers waiting in the parking lot to get inside and my maximum load limit is below four hundred. Mingus is even smaller than Corn. And I wrote a romance novel last year and my friend knew an agent who was willing
to take me on. She sold it, which is a miracle for a first time author, and now it’s coming out in November. The name of the book is Honky Tonk Charm and I’ve got a copy of the cover in my suitcase if you want to see it.” She said it in a hurry before she lost her nerve.

  It started with a tiny high-pitched giggle from Jenny and within seconds had every woman except Sharlene roaring so loud that Judd and Tasha came in the back door to see what was so funny.

  Sharlene hugged Judd up to her side. “Judd, darlin’, tell these folks where you go every day.”

  “To school in the mornin’ after we eat breakfast and brush our teeth. And then after school we got to work with Uncle Holt at Sharlene’s beer joint.”

  The laughter stopped as quickly as it started.

  “And what do we do when you get home from school?” Sharlene asked.

  “Sometimes we play outside after we have a snack in Sharlene’s house at the back of the beer joint. Well, it’s really part of the beer joint acause there’s a door from one to the other but we don’t go in the beer joint acause the television in there only gets football games and President stuff. So we have a snack in Sharlene’s house and then we go outside and play. Sometimes Sharlene takes her writin’ stuff out in the yard and sits under the tree while Uncle Holt builds the big old room for the people to… what is it they do with them sticks and them balls?”

  “Shoot pool,” Sharlene said.

  “Yeah, that’s it. The music boxes and the shoot pool tables are going in the new room so the rest of the beer joint can be a dancin’ place. We got a jungle gym and two swings in the trees and we live in Sharlene’s other house. You got to see it sometimes. It’s all different colors and Waylon is buried out in the yard and we have to be careful not to knock his cross down. I like the orange rocking chairs on the front porch and I like the pink windows.”

  All five women stared at Sharlene like she had two heads and sixteen eyes.

  “Waylon is buried?” Molly asked.

  It took a ton of willpower to keep Sharlene from rolling her eyes. All that and her mother worried about a cat?