by Alex Wolf
Fuck this. I tried to be nice about it.
“You already fucked me, sweetheart.” I smirk and walk out the door.
I don’t do feelings. I do the fucking.
She really is better off.
Jenna
Wiping my mouth, I look down at my hand where blood streaks my pale skin.
Leonard, my husband, glares. “Where’s the money?” He gets nose-to-nose with me again.
I laugh in his face knowing it will earn me another blow. “Get one of your whores to pawn the jewelry you bought them. I don’t have anything.”
Grabbing a fist full of my hair, he yanks me closer. The stinging pain isn’t anything I haven’t felt before. He’s dished out far worse in the past.
I grin. “Gonna hit me again?”
His eyes seer into mine but his voice is calm and collected. “I want my fucking money.”
“What makes you think my father’s money belongs to you?”
His fist goes back and he takes a huge swing. I jerk out of the way and duck as his hand smashes the wall. There’s a puff of drywall and some of the sheetrock crumbles onto the floor.
I don’t wait for him to react. I take off running out the back door and through the fields. The whole time I sprint I pray he won’t catch up to me.
I never wanted things to be this way. When Dad told me I had to marry Leonard or he’d toss Jaxson’s family out on the street, I did what I had to do even though it crushed my spirit.
I still love Jax. He’s my soulmate. I’d do anything for him.
Leonard slings open the glass back door on the patio and it shatters all over the concrete. “I’ll find you, bitch.” He snickers and turns around. “I always do.”
I hear him go back inside, but I don’t dare look back. One of these days he’s going to kill me. I just know it.
Part of me is glad my Dad passed away and can’t see the hand he dealt me. Mom would be so ashamed. She’s probably turning over in her grave. She raised me to be a lady, but she didn’t raise me to be an idiot. The fear of death is the only thing that’s kept me in this marriage after they died.
The truth is, Leonard scares me, and I know he’ll find me. I’ve learned to live with it. Always in survival mode.
Stopping at a tree to catch my breath, I lean my arm on the bark.
I’ve been running for ages it feels. Sweat drips down my back as the sun begins to set.
One night is usually what it takes when he does this. When I go back, he’ll apologize and say that he loves me. Things will be fine for a while, and it’ll happen again. It’s a vicious cycle.
I can’t look at myself in the mirror. I know I actually am an idiot. It’s all I’ve known the last thirteen years.
The bottoms of my feet crack and bleed but there’s no way in hell I’m going back tonight.
Hopefully Leonard stumbled to bed and passed out in a drunken stupor. With any luck I can sneak back into the house tomorrow once he’s left for his trip. He can find his own means to pay off his debt this time.
I stand there, shaking, panting uncontrollably.
This has to end. I can’t do it anymore.
I’ve told myself that before, but this time I mean it. I am done. If he kills me, he kills me. He can have the ranch. He can have all the money.
I’m done.
Jaxson
A name pops out on my schedule in big bold letters. A name I hoped I’d never see or hear again.
Jenna fucking Jacobi.
The one and only.
The bitch that broke my heart and turned me into a monster.
I wasn’t always an asshole. I cared about people other than myself. It’s hard to even imagine it now. Goddamn, I was a fucking pussy. A little boy with a crush who didn’t understand how shitty the world could be.
She changed all of that for me. Taught me that lesson in a hurry. And now, I run shit. Nobody will ever hurt me again.
What the fuck is she doing on my planner?
No fucking way am I doing this. Nope.
I take a deep breath.
I don’t want to see her, yet at the same time, I’m curious.
My notes say she’s here for a divorce consultation. Maybe I can rub it in. Let her know what she’s missed out on. Give her a glimpse of the powerful asshole she created.
Bet she’s popped out a few kids for her cattle rancher husband. Probably fattened her up. Bet her husband’s trading her in for a younger, hotter model.
Even as I think horrible things about Jenna, I can’t help but notice something I haven’t felt in a long time. Anxiety digs into the pit of my stomach, just at the thought of her. I don’t get nervous, ever. Not my style. Yet, it’s like I’ve shoved something deep down inside for a long time and never dealt with it, never let it out of its cage. It’s bubbling toward the surface.
And I plan on doing what every other man on the planet does. Shoving it down farther, burying that fucking weakness. There’s no place in my world for it. Maybe I could’ve been a nice guy. I would’ve been, for her.
Now, I’ve evolved and moved on from that farm boy she knew. The one who wasn’t good enough or rich enough for her family. She’s going to know she fucked up when she takes one look at me. Choosing that piece of shit. Not showing up.
I hope she feels every knife in her stomach that I felt when I stood there that night, alone. I hope she cries every fucking tear I cried, leaving without her. I hope she fills buckets with those tears.
My days working on their ranch are long gone and I have more money than their shit family could dream of. I told myself one day I’d come back and buy that filthy-ass ranch and raze the whole fucking thing. Develop a subdivision on top of it, or strip malls. Everything her father hated about society.
I guess over the years I forgot my plans of revenge. I moved past it. I was better than them. Better than the entire Jacobi clan. I’ve been over Jenna for years. Haven’t even thought about her until this moment.
Biting the cap of my pen, I debate whether I should refer her to Maxwell.
I’m too close to this.
It’s bad form to mix personal with business.
The dam has broken, and memory after memory floods into my mind. Visons of rolling around with Jenna in the barn play on a loop. She was so damn beautiful.
Then it happens.
I catch a glimpse of her through the glass walls encasing my office.
Her strawberry blonde hair bounces against her back in long curls. I remember all too easily how it felt when I would thread my fingers through the strands, just completely lost in her. I can smell her just by looking at her. How is that even possible?
I couldn’t breathe without her. She was life.
She destroyed me.
I’ve never loved another woman. Not even close.
I fuck to get it out of my system and I go back to work. I wouldn’t say I’m a manwhore. Just a pragmatist. I have arrangements. No feelings. No dates. It’s biological and efficient.
Hearts and flowers? Naw. Dating and emotions? Naw.
That part of me is long gone.
I’m a cold, objective courtroom killer.
My secretary buzzes me and I exhale heavily through my nose, making sure the figurative walls are up and locked in position. The only woman I’ve ever loved is in my sights, and I’ll be goddamned if she thinks she’s going to blow up my world again.
Her eyes meet mine through the glass and she smiles. It’s an invigorating carefree smile. Happiness seems effortless with her.
Never again.
I’ll make it through this appointment. Collect my retainer and put one of the junior partners on her case. I’ll never have to see her again. Only her money. Just like that.
Should be easy enough.
“Show her in.” I growl the words into the phone.
“Right away.” Brittany’s inflection tells me she picked up on my tone. She’s adept at reading my moods. Let’s just say if I’m not happy, no one’s happy.
<
br /> I like things the way I like them. I have a low tolerance for bullshit. It’s called being professional. If people do what they’re supposed to do, we have no problems.
The first thing I notice is Jenna’s figure. Those hourglass hips strut into my office looking every bit like the snotty spoiled bitch she’s always been. I couldn’t see it then, but I do now.
Under that fake tan, plump lips, and luscious tits, is a woman who can’t think for herself. She does whatever Daddy tells her to. I bet it’s the reason she’s getting divorced. Daddy probably snapped his fingers and she jumped to attention.
There’s only one question that I want an answer to at the moment.
Why’d she seek me out?
“Have a seat. Mrs. Jacobi is it?”
A frown crosses her face and I smirk on the inside. “Jaxson?”
“It’s Mr. Black.”
“Oh, umm. Do you know who I am?”
“My one o’clock.” I really do have this ‘being a prick’ game down to a science.
“It’s me—Jenna. Why are you being so…” Her head tilts to the side as she stares. “Quit playing games. You were my first boyfriend.”
“We can skip the trip down memory lane. I vaguely remember you strutting on your dad’s ranch in short shorts and expensive boots. I see here you want to file for divorce. I’m going to need a list of your holdings and assets both single and joint. If there’s a prenup I’ll need a copy of that as well. What are your grounds for divorce? Infidelity?” When I look up her mouth is agape and her eyes are wide.
It almost looks like she’s holding back tears.
Maybe it was harsh, but fuck it. Like it’s not harsh what she did? Life’s rough, sweetheart. This is a tickle compared to the way she fucking broke me. No phone calls. No goddamn email. Nothing.
Piss on her.
“This was a mistake,” she whispers.
Linking my fingers behind my head I lean back in my chair. “Just trying to do my job in a professional manner. You’re the one trying to make it personal. I don’t do personal. Haven’t in thirteen years.” I look right at her puffy eyes. “If that’s a problem I can suggest one of my colleagues to handle your needs.”
“I-I came here because I thought you’d be a friend and make sure I’m taken care of. I just—wanted someone I can trust.”
“What?” I scoff. I shouldn’t take the bait, but I just can’t help myself. “What makes you think I give a shit if you keep your pampered lifestyle? Why would you trust me? You’re nothing to me.”
She clamps a palm over her mouth, and here come the fucking waterworks. “How can you say that? You were…” She trails off.
My jaw ticks. I’m bored with this already. It’s not as satisfying as I imagined. “Let’s focus on your case.”
She nods against the hand still pressed over her mouth and grabs her purse. “Right… Everything you need is in here.” She holds out a flash drive.
“I’ll go over it and get papers drawn up.” I take the information from her slender hand. Her fingers brush over my palm and I remember her touch like it was yesterday. Fuck. I should send her away. Give the case to Maxwell.
I need to get far away from her. The one big problem is, I don’t know if I want to.
Jenna
I can’t believe it’s finally happening. I’m finally going to be free.
One day of freedom without Leonard is better than fifty with him in my life.
He really pulled the wool over my father’s eyes. Despite the horrible thing my father made me do, I truly believe he thought he was securing my future. Not that I’m so naïve to think it wasn’t about him too.
His business and legacy always took precedence, but I think he was still just trying to look out for me.
He barely knew Leonard. But he knew he was the son of a wealthy casino owner from Las Vegas. Leonard and his father were buying up and consolidating the ranches nearby, and they would’ve eventually taken over ours too. This way, Dad got our family name on everything as partners. Dad got to run our ranch as long as he wanted.
Once Dad passed away, Leonard drove the business into the ground. Sold off a lot of the land. He wasn’t a brilliant businessman. I think Leonard’s dad sent him to Texas to get him out of his hair, so he wouldn’t screw up the casinos. That’s where their real money came from. Since Dad died, Leonard has practically liquidated and lost every asset we own.
When Jaxson asks for financial statements I want to laugh. It’s not funny, but at the same time it is in some morbid way. I have nothing. The girl who always had it all is left with nothing but my family name. I have some land and the family home that’s fallen into disrepair. I’ll be lucky to sell it for half of what it’s worth. If I even get to keep it.
Leonard has no idea I’m even filing. He’s in Vegas with his newest whore, I’m sure. The only good thing I’ve done in my life is not giving that man a child. That would’ve required us sleeping together.
I’d rather be celibate for life than to touch Leonard. I think that’s one of the things that made him beat me up so much, but I didn’t care. I never slept with him, not once. Jax is the only man I’ve ever been with. Leonard makes me sick. The thought of even hugging him is repulsive.
He’s an alcoholic who’d rather smack me around than show me any affection. He wants the last remaining bit of my father’s estate. He won’t get the family home. I’ll kill him before he touches the house I grew up in. If Jaxson won’t help me I’ll find someone who will.
Jaxson is even more handsome than I remembered. Dark brown hair and the deepest gray eyes that look like raging thunderstorms. Eyes I used to love getting lost in. He was my first everything. The farmhand’s son who helped out on our ranch. They lived in one of the tenant houses. We sold it off a few years ago, when my father suffered his first stroke. It nearly killed me when we let it go. It was all I had left of Jax.
And now, Jax hates me. Of course he does. Why wouldn’t he? I’m surprised he’s taking the case at all. It was a hail mary coming here.
“I’ll go over it and get papers drawn up.”
I hand Jax the drive with everything on it. The feel of his hand is the exact way I remember it. I’m not sure why I’m so surprised that he’s being so cold. He never got an explanation of why I left him there.
I guess I always thought if he knew the truth, he’d overreact. He would’ve fought for me, and he would’ve gotten hurt. The Reyes family is not a family anyone should mess with. And we were just kids. Jax would’ve gotten himself killed trying to defend me.
“Did you try marriage counseling?”
“What?” His question catches me off guard.
“You never gave me a reason for divorce. When it goes to court they’ll want to know why.”
“No, we didn’t do the whole counseling thing. He’s in Las Vegas with his latest mistress. Leonard keeps an apartment there. We were never in love.”
“Children?”
“No.”
“Good, that should speed things up a little. When was the last time your property was assessed?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know, a few years ago, maybe.”
“With the amount of property you have, an expert may be required. That could take time.”
“How much time?”
“Months. Years. It all depends.” He shrugs.
“I need this over. Is there a way to expedite the process?”
The corners of his mouth turn up into a grin. “I might know someone who could do a favor. If I felt like calling it in.”
“Jaxson, please. You don’t understand. I can’t spend another day married to that bastard.”
I’m ready to go down on my knees and beg him to put an end to my suffering. “I’ll do anything. Seriously, please.”
“You know?” Jaxson stands and walks over to a window, refusing to look at me. “I used to imagine this day. All the time.”
“Jax…”
“Let me finish.” He whips arou
nd, his eyes cold and dark.
I’ve never seen that look before. I can’t help but think I’m responsible for the man he’s become.
“I don’t like seeing you like this, Jenna. I thought I would. But it’s just humiliating. You all—desperate.” He takes a few steps and stops right in front of me, his eyes glaring down at me. “You chose this. Do you know how long I waited for you?”
Tears stream down my face at the thought of him standing there, wondering where I was. He had to have felt so alone. He must’ve been so hurt.
He snickers to himself and looks back out the window, but his hands ball into fists at his sides. “Kept telling myself you’d show. Told myself you were running late. That you were waiting for the right time to sneak out. That there was no way you’d backed out.”
He has no idea how I wished every single day since then that I’d ran far away with him and never looked back. I just didn’t really have a choice.
“Jaxson, I…” How do I tell him the truth? That I was a pawn in a sick and twisted game. I was a business transaction. I’m so ashamed. I don’t know what I expected coming here. I had this weird idea that maybe he’d found some way to forgive me.
“It’s okay. We were kids. You don’t owe me an explanation. I’ll go over this and call you if I have any questions.”
“I want to tell you what happened—”
He cuts me off. “I have an appointment.”
I stand up.
Jaxson follows me to the door. I forgot how tall he is. His hand touches my hair, tugging one of the curls.
I stare up at him, trying to hide the fact that I’m still in love with him. I never stopped loving him. “It was nice to see you. You’ve changed.” I offer him a faint smile, touching my fingers to his cheek, wishing things could’ve gone differently all those years ago.
Leaning into my palm, he presses his cheek against my warm skin. So many feelings and memories come rushing back to the surface.
“I want to hate you. I don’t know if it’s possible.”
He has no idea how much guilt and shame I live with daily.
I stare up at him feeling a lifetime of regret. His eyes meet mine and I see the boy I fell in love with. His chin dips down. Then those lips I’ve dreamed of so many times come down on mine. Pure. Soft. True.
