Most Desirable Player

by Quinn, Jillian

  “I would feel better if you did,” Dr. Carter says.

  “Fine,” she groans. “But only until Sadie gets home.”

  Dr. Carter places his medical instruments back into his bag and zips it up. “Take care of yourself, Briana. Make sure you drink plenty of fluids and get some rest. Don’t drink alcohol or do any strenuous activities.” He slides his business card along the wooden table in front of her. “Call me if anything changes.”

  I lead Dr. Carter to the front door, and when I open it, he lingers in the entryway. “Make sure Briana follows my instructions. She seems a bit headstrong. People like her usually make the worst patients. You know better than anyone that not following doctor’s orders can lead to complications.”

  “Yes, I do. I’ll take good care of her.”

  Even though I wish we were together under different circumstances, I have until the end of the weekend to show Briana I have changed. And I can’t mess this up.

  Chapter Twelve

  Briana

  Julian is killing me with kindness, making it hard for me to tell him to go away. After all the years I have spent hating him, I have no idea how to react to him. Why is he being so nice to me? It’s as if the person I once loved has returned. But I know it won’t last long. His actions are fueled by his overwhelming guilt.

  He sits on the edge of his bed next to me and slides another pillow behind my head as if four pillows aren’t enough. His mattress is massive, a California king if I had to guess. Or knowing Julian, it’s a custom bed made just for him. He’s taller than most men, and when he would sleep at my dorm sophomore year, his feet would dangle off the end. We always had to stay at his house because it was so uncomfortable for him to sleep in my tiny ass bed.

  He pushes a strand of hair away from my face. “How are you feeling?” He flattens his hand to my forehead. “You feel like you still have a fever. I’m worried about you.”

  “Don’t be. I’ll be fine. Nothing I can’t handle.”

  “That’s what worries me,” he admits. “You never want anyone to help you.”

  “If you knew what it was like to be me for one day, then you would understand why I don’t accept help from anyone. I’ve been through more shit in ten years than most people have in their entire adult lives.”

  “I know, and that’s why I want to be here for you.” He runs his fingers along my arm, sending a chill down to my fingertips. “Just let me do this for you, okay?”

  “Why is it so important to you?”

  “Because I fucked up two years ago, and I want to do right by you.”

  “I know you’ll take good care of me, Julian. But it’s also important for me to do this on my own.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it is,” I snap.

  “You don’t have to prove anything to anyone,” he challenges. “Especially not to me.”

  “I’ve been on my own for a long time. When I was starving, my belly so swollen from not eating for days, I found a way to feed myself. When kids bullied me in middle school, I sat out in front of the karate school and watch from the window, so I could learn how to fight. And when I got accepted into this school, I did everything in my power to earn enough money in grants and scholarships to get the hell out of St. Louis. I barely even had enough bus money to get here. But I managed. I always find a way. And this stupid concussion is just another stumbling block, another challenge I have to overcome.”

  “Bri,” he sighs, closing his eyes as he slips his fingers between mine. We sit like this for several minutes before he opens his eyes again. “I want to take care of you. Just because you’ve had a hard life doesn’t mean you have to make it harder on yourself. This isn’t charity if that’s what you think.”

  “I know.” I squeeze his hand. “Thanks for being here for me.”

  He narrows his eyes at me. “Do you mean that?”

  “Yeah.”

  He sighs. “Just so you know, I would do anything for you.”

  “You should get in with me,” I say, surprising myself.

  He looks confused.

  I nod in answer.

  Julian kicks off his sneakers and then climbs into bed with me. As if no time has passed, I curl up next to him, sinking into his warmth and manly scent, wishing I could stay here forever. Though, I would never tell him that. He hooks his arm around me and pulls my back against his chest. His breath on my neck sends a ripple of pleasure down my arms, causing my toes to curl.

  I missed him.

  I missed this closeness to him.

  Julian was the bright shiny light in my very dark tunnel. When we’d met, I was a different person. And I wanted to be different for him.

  I cover his hand with mine, and without thinking, I rub my backside against him to get comfortable. He growls in my ear, and I moan in response. Why am I here? Why did I tell him to get in bed with me? It must be the migraine gnawing at the base of my skull that’s making me do things I would never do with Julian. I promised myself a long time ago I would never let him back into my life. And here I am, in his arms and grinding on him like one of his puck bunnies.

  Julian grips my hip, his length now digging into my lower back. “Bri,” he whispers against the shell of my ear. “God, I missed you, baby.”

  Five words. Those five simple words send a volt of electricity throughout my body. Even though I know I should ignore them and what he’s doing to my body, I can’t block them out. I’ve wanted to hear those five little words for so long.

  I don’t answer him.

  Instead, I roll over just enough to look into his emerald irises. A wave of black hair falls in front of them, forcing me to push it off his forehead. I love his eyes. They’re my favorite color, the perfect shade of green with little flecks of yellow around the edges. I swear they change color. Sometimes, they’re the brightest green with hints of yellow and other times his pupil looks like the green has swallowed it whole.

  “I swear you somehow planned this.”

  He rests his elbow on the side of my head and groans. “How could I have planned this? Like I would ever want to see you hurt.”

  “I didn’t mean it like that.” I sigh. “It seems too convenient that Sadie wins the date with Harker after years of trying, and I end up getting a date with you when you were the last person on earth I ever wanted to see again. Sadie won’t admit that she set me up, but I know she sold me out to get a date with Harker, and I’d bet you had something to do with it.”

  He chuckles, his cute dimple popping in his cheek. “And why would you think that?”

  “Because you’re best friends with Harker.”

  “True, but how do you explain Sadie winning the auction? She still had to outbid the other girls.”

  “I don’t know. But you had something to do with it.”

  “You want the truth?”

  I nod. “Duh, you know I do.”

  “I set it up.”

  I slap him on the arm, though it’s not hard enough to do any damage. I’m so weak right now I have almost no strength to make any kind of impact. “You idiot jerk, how could you?” Annoyed, I shake my head. “How could my best friend do this to me?”

  “Sadie didn’t do it to you. She did it for you.”

  I roll my eyes at him and then turn over so we’re no longer looking at each other.

  He hooks his arm around me and flips me back over. “Don’t act like this, Bri. I miss you. I meant what I said earlier. The auction was the only way I knew how to get near you again. I never expected you to get knocked out with a bottle at my game. That was…”

  “Crazy,” I finish for him.

  “Unexpected,” he says. “I wanted to show you a good time not make you sick.”

  I run my thumb along his strong, angular jaw that has a tiny bit of dark stubble on it. “It’s not fair,” I say to myself.

  Julian grips my wrist, holding my hand in place. “What’s not fair?”

  “That you get to look like this and still have everything.”<
br />
  “We come from different parts of the country and different walks of life, and yet we’re still the same, Bri. No one gets me the way you do. And no one ever will.”

  Before I can speak, our lips collide, and his tongue slips into my mouth. His hands roam my body, his touch going straight to my core. Right now, it’s easy to forget about how much hatred I’ve harbored for Julian. Because at this moment, I can only focus on the way Julian makes me feel. Like there’s no one else in this world but me.

  He groans as he sucks on my bottom lip, my moans matching his. Lifting my leg over his, he massages my thigh, his big hand cupping my ass. I don’t want his hands to leave my body or his tongue to stop making my body tingle with pleasure. His tongue caresses mine once more, and he kisses me like a ravenous beast, his animalistic nature coming out to play. Heat runs over my skin in waves as his hand slides up my thigh. He feels every inch of me, his movements fast and impatient as if he’s waited so long to do this that he can’t decide where he wants to touch first. When it comes to Julian, everything about him feels familiar, normal even.

  “I love your tits,” he mutters between kisses, pinching my nipple through the fabric of my shirt. “I love everything about you…”

  We kiss until my head spins, stealing each other’s last breath from the other. At some point, the air slowly comes back to my brain, and I finally realize what we’re doing is wrong. This is a mistake. We can’t go down this road again. He’s my ex for a reason.

  “We shouldn’t do this.” My breaths are shallow. “We have to stop.”

  A hint of concern crosses his handsome face. “You feeling okay?”

  “Yes and no. My head is still killing me. And I don’t think we should do this. Not after what we went through last time. This was a mistake.”

  He frowns. “This wasn’t a mistake.”

  “You cheated on me, Julian. I’m not putting myself through that again.”

  He shakes his head. “I never cheated on you. You were the only girl I ever thought about when we were together.”

  I sit up and use the stack of pillows behind me for support. “The puck bunny that used to hang around your house, you know, the blonde with huge boobs, she told everyone on campus that she had sex with you the weekend I went to New York with Sadie.”

  “That never happened.” His expression darkens along with his tone. “She tried to sneak into my room that weekend, but I kicked her ass to the curb. Then, you came over when I was drinking with my teammates, and yelled at me before I could explain what happened that night.”

  “You said some awful things to me,” I hiss, my teeth gritted in anger. “Thinking about the past is giving me a splitting headache.”

  “You brought it up,” he spits back. “I just want to move forward.”

  “Well, you can’t, Julian, because the past still haunts me. I still remember the pain and shame I felt when I left your house that night.”

  “I never touched her.”

  “I know,” I whisper. “But I was so jealous back then. I can’t handle seeing you with other women.”

  He sighs. “I was never with any other women, though. So, I don’t get why you were so mad in the first place.”

  “Because you were mine. You were the one good thing in my life other than Sadie. And I didn’t want to share you with anyone.”

  “That’s not realistic, Bri. You know that. Hockey is my life. Women come with the territory. There will be other women that show me attention, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do anything about it. I never did and I never will.” He blows out a puff of air. “What do I need to do? Anything. Name it.”

  “At the end of the day, I’m still me… and you’re you. Julian Rivers, every girl’s fantasy. How can I ever compete with the girls who want you? Some of them look like models.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with being you.” He cups the side of my face in his hand and traces a line across my jaw with his thumb. “You’re beautiful, Briana. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. I don’t care about girls that look like models. I don’t care about any other girls for that matter. I like you the way you are and always have. Even after all of these years, you’re still the only girl I want.”

  I want to believe him. After years of feeling worthless because of my circumstances, it’s hard to be with someone like Julian and not think he will eventually find someone better. His parents never liked me. I’m the poor girl they assume wants his money, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Even his friends were never welcoming. Sure, they tolerated me, but I never truly fit in with them.

  After a few minutes of considering Julian’s words, I rest my head on the pillow. My head is pounding from thinking too much about the past. Julian massages my scalp and tells me to get some rest, and not long after, I drift off to sleep.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Briana

  I wake up to Julian’s big body dipping the mattress and get a whiff of something foul. It’s me. Overnight, I’ve turned into a homeless person again.

  Awesome. Real sexy.

  Looking over at him, I yawn and stretch my hands above my head. He’s dressed in a different pair of designer jeans and an expensive-looking black golf shirt with a gold logo on the left pocket. His black hair is sticking up in its usual spikes that look messy but on purpose.

  He nods at a bunch of bags sitting at the end of the bed. “Those are for you. I had Ramon pick up some clothes, toiletries, and a few girly things.”

  I glance at the fancy department store bags and sigh. From the looks of it, he bought enough clothes to last me a month.

  “You didn’t have to buy me anything. I can go back to my dorm and get my stuff.”

  “I thought you might like those.” He tips his head toward the bags. “I also picked out a dress for you to wear on our date.”

  I laugh. “What date? You already blew it.”

  He blushes, though he’s not the least bit offended by my remark. “You still owe me a date. When you’re better, of course.”

  “I need to shower,” I say, wondering if he’s just as grossed out with me as I am with myself. “I haven’t had one since the night of your game.”

  He slides off the bed and extends his hand to me. I take it without complaint, and he helps me to my feet. I have to press my hand to his strong chest to maintain my balance. He must know I’m struggling to stand on my own because he hooks his arm around my back and pulls me tight against his chest.

  “You gonna be okay in the shower by yourself?”

  I peek up at him and nod. “I think so.”

  “We don’t have handrails in our shower or anywhere for you to sit.” He bites his bottom lip, as if deep in thought. “You know what, let me go check it’s even clean. I live with a bunch of guys, so you never know.” He lowers me back to the mattress. “Wait here for a sec.”

  A few minutes later, he returns and then leads me into the bathroom. Julian closes the door behind him and follows me into the room. “I can help you wash your hair if you want.”

  I smile, which fades the second I realize he would have to see me naked to wash my hair.

  “No, I’m good. But can you maybe sit on the toilet just in case?”

  He nods. “Yeah, I can do that.”

  “And turn around so I can get undressed.”

  Julian laughs. “It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked hundreds of times. But sure, I can do that, too.”

  After he adjusts the water and turns his back to me, I strip down to my birthday suit and hop inside the tiled shower. It’s massive and fit for big ass hockey players like him. The steam from the shower fogs the glass, though I can see in the mirror that the silhouette of my body is visible.

  “Are you decent?” Julian asks.

  I run my head under the warm water, placing my palm on the wall to support myself. “Define decent.”

  He chuckles. “I mean can I turn around? I’m not fond of staring at the wall. I feel like I’m in timeout
.”

  “You’ve been a very bad boy, Julian,” I joke, though now that I’ve processed my words, I wish I could take them back. “Sorry, that sounded way too sexual.”

  “Nah, it’s fine.” He sits on the closed toilet seat with his elbows propped on his thighs. “You doing okay in there?”

  “So far, so good,” I mutter. “But I think the steam is making my head spin.”

  He groans. “Lower the temperature then.”

  I reach for the three long silver bars that are unlike what I’m used to in Jefferson Hall. What kind of shower is this? Must be some high-end European shit. Of course, I turn the wrong one, since I have no idea what I’m doing, and end up burning myself. I yelp in pain, trying to hide from the hot water.

  Before I have time to cover myself, Julian has the glass door open, exposing my naked body to the cold air. He reaches into the shower and turns the knobs until my skin doesn’t feel like it’s melting.

  “Why do you have to be so stubborn, woman? You could’ve said something sooner if the water wasn’t right.”

  “Julian,” I whine, covering my breasts with my hands, which doesn’t do a whole lot when I’m butt ass naked. “Get out.”

  His eyes meet mine for split second and then slowly rake over my body. He bites his bottom lip and turns his head to the side. Blush creeps up to his cheeks.

  “Sorry,” he says and then shuts the door again.

  I lean against the wall, my heart pounding in my chest. The way he looked at my body makes me tingle all over. His eyes had a hungry look in them as if he were starving for a taste. And after he kissed me until I fell asleep, I dreamed of him. I imagined his hand slipping between my legs to stop the aching between them. I thought of all the dirty things I wanted him to do to me. All of the things I missed about him.

  I close my eyes and dip my hand between my thighs, pressing my thumb against the bundle of nerves that are ready to burst. I accidentally let out a soft moan and Julian notices.