The Little Orchard on the Lane: An absolutely perfect and uplifting romantic comedy

by Tilly Tennant

  ‘It’s a gin bar,’ Marella said before Posy could reply. ‘Gin is kind of its raison d’être.’

  ‘Yeah, but not everyone likes gin.’

  ‘Then they ought to go to a place that’s not a gin bar,’ Marella returned carelessly.

  ‘I’ll bet I can find one you’ll like,’ Posy said to him. ‘Amongst all that there’s got to be something to tickle your taste buds.’

  Marella had indulged in pre-drinks or whatever it was she called them – drinks she had before she went out so that she was suitably ‘warmed up’ before they even got to the bars. Often she’d have had too many before they’d set foot in their first pub and tonight looked as if it might be one of those nights, otherwise she might have read the room better. So far Jackson was clearly not enjoying his night out as much as Marella and Asa were. And Jackson being less than enthusiastic meant that Posy wasn’t enjoying her night out as much as she’d hoped she would either. All this seemed to have escaped Marella, though Posy saw her link arms with Asa, heads close as they giggled at a private joke. At least something was going well.

  ‘You’re alright, you are,’ Posy heard her say to him.

  ‘So are you,’ Asa replied. ‘Say that again, though – your accent is making me feel all warm and fuzzy. Why do northern accents sound so nice?’

  ‘I think yours sounds nice,’ Marella said. ‘Makes me think of tractors and apples.’

  ‘Oh God no!’ Asa laughed and Marella collapsed into fits of giggles too.

  ‘You both have nice accents,’ Posy cut in. ‘You both sound friendly and approachable; not like us lot in London, so bland and toneless we could be conveying any number of complicated emotions but so boringly nobody would realise.’

  ‘Speak for yourself!’ Jackson said. ‘You can’t beat a good cockney accent!’

  Posy laughed. ‘You’re not a cockney! Have you heard yourself? Less East End and more Eton!’

  ‘I never went to Eton!’ he protested, but he was grinning now.

  ‘You can’t deny it,’ Posy said. ‘We do sound boring next to those two.’

  As they discussed the virtues of their various accents they shuffled forward, continuing to chat and exchange banter and shuffle over the next few minutes as they made painstaking progress towards the bar. People pushed in the queue (such as it was) and got a tongue-lashing from Asa, but even that had no real malice in it. Posy could tell he was having too much fun to be seriously annoyed, and after seeing him so low the week before she was glad of it.

  ‘Let’s see if we can’t make something up,’ he said as they finally got close enough to inspect the contents of the bar properly.

  Marella blinked. ‘Make what up?’

  ‘Well, I do work in the drinks industry… sort of. I’m sure we could invent our own brand-new gin cocktail. Maybe I’ll patent it and make my fortune.’

  ‘Can you even patent cocktails?’ Posy asked doubtfully. ‘Aren’t they sort of like recipes?’

  ‘I’ve no idea, but I bet we can still create one. What do you fancy? Sweet, spicy? Soothing or tonsil-stripping?’

  Posy giggled. ‘How about ear-blocking so I can shut out your rubbish?’

  ‘Oh, I am mortally offended!’ he cried dramatically. ‘Go to your room at once!’

  Posy stuck her tongue out. ‘Shan’t!’

  ‘Then I shall be forced to tell your mother about this and it will break her heart!’

  Posy’s laughter grew louder. ‘She won’t care, I promise you; she brought me up feral, she did!’

  Asa grinned broadly at Posy, and then at Marella and Jackson. ‘Come on then,’ he said. ‘This round’s on me – what are we all having?’

  ‘Nothing that you’ve made up,’ Posy said.

  ‘I’d try something new,’ Marella said. ‘I’m always game for a new experience.’

  Asa clapped his hands once. ‘That’s more like it! Now then, I wonder…’ He gazed at the shelves, giving the impression of intense concentration. ‘I see they have pear gin. Hmm… ginger ale and pear? A kick of apple sour to round it up? Or how about that lovely-looking cherry blossom gin… what would that go with?’

  ‘Almonds go with cherries,’ Marella said.

  Asa clicked his fingers like a mad inventor. ‘Amaretto! Maybe some lemonade to mix…’

  ‘That sounds disgusting,’ Jackson said. ‘They must have a beer of some description.’

  ‘Probably,’ Posy agreed. ‘We could ask if you really don’t want to try anything else.’

  Asa rolled his eyes and although it was in fun, Posy wished he hadn’t because she caught the tiniest shift in Jackson’s demeanour that told her he didn’t like it and she’d been struggling enough with him tonight as it was. She’d never imagined anyone could dislike Asa once they got to know him and so she’d felt reasonably confident introducing him to Jackson and Marella, but right now Jackson was doing a pretty good job of proving her wrong. She still failed to see what Asa had done to cause such dislike, but perhaps there didn’t need to be a reason. Sometimes people just didn’t like other people and that was all there was to it.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ Jackson said. ‘I’m sure I can sink a gin if there’s nothing else. Just none of that fancy crap – something normal will do.’

  ‘G&T then?’ Marella asked. Jackson nodded.

  As Marella and Asa were closer to the bar and had managed to catch the attention of a bartender, they set about ordering for everyone and Asa paid the bill.

  ‘Bloody hell!’ he choked as the final amount was relayed to him. ‘I know I’m in London now! You could buy our whole cider press for that much!’

  Marella laughed. ‘That’s what I used to say when I first moved down here. You get used to it – when I go home now I feel like I’ve stepped back in time to 1970s’ prices.’ She paused as she handed Posy one of Asa’s concoctions. ‘You ought to come and visit Yorkshire with me one day, Asa; some cracking pubs where I come from and you don’t get ripped off.’

  ‘That does sound like fun,’ Asa said. ‘Name the date and I’ll be there – haven’t got anything better to do.’

  ‘Oi!’ Posy exclaimed. ‘What about me?’

  ‘Oh, but you’ll be leaving me soon, won’t you? Back to the glitz and glamour of life in the capital with your fabulous new job and I’ll be bored again.’

  ‘I’ll come to visit.’

  ‘Yes, I know, but I’ll still have lots of time to spare. Besides, I’ve never been up north and I’d like to go.’

  Posy laughed. ‘Of course you have! How have you never been up north? It’s not Mars!’

  ‘Well, I’m quite sure I’ve never been to Marella’s bit.’

  ‘Come up together,’ Marella put in. ‘And you too, of course,’ she added, looking at Jackson, though nobody could fail to see he’d been an afterthought.

  In a bid to shift the focus, Posy held up her glass.

  ‘This looks amazing!’

  ‘It does a bit, doesn’t it?’ Asa agreed. He took a sip of his own. ‘Not bad, though I do say it myself. I hope that bartender has kept a note of the ingredients because I’m definitely going to want another one of these.’

  Jackson was looking so fed up that Posy realised she was going to have to do something drastic to rescue this situation. She’d promised him some time for just the two of them and perhaps, as Asa and Marella were clearly getting on so well, they wouldn’t mind splitting the foursome up, allowing her and Jackson to go somewhere he’d like better. She pulled Marella to one side and put the question to her as discreetly as she could, though that wasn’t easy when you could barely hear yourself think.

  ‘You want what?’ Marella asked.

  ‘Do you mind staying with Asa for a few hours while I take Jackson somewhere else?’

  Marella giggled. ‘Oh, you dirty little minx! Can’t you wait until the night’s over?’

  ‘Not that!’ Posy frowned. She glanced at Jackson and Marella followed her gaze.

  ‘I suppose he does look a
bit miserable,’ Marella said. ‘I don’t think we’re really his sort of people, are we?’

  ‘I don’t know about that. Maybe these are just not his sort of pubs.’

  ‘Don’t you think Asa might have something to say about me whisking him off?’

  ‘He likes you. You’re getting on well, aren’t you?’

  ‘Oh, yes, he’s a blast but it’s still you he’s supposed to be spending time with.’

  ‘He’s seen enough of me the last few weeks. I don’t think he’ll mind all that much. I’ll have a word with him too, but I just wanted to clear it with you first before I did.’

  ‘I don’t mind at all. I’ll take him to the gay clubs and get him a man.’

  ‘Maybe not. Both of you drunk and in charge of matchmaking – there’s no telling what might happen!’

  Chapter Twenty

  They’d parted company only half an hour before but already Posy found herself wondering if Marella and Asa were having a better time than she was. The answer was probably. Marella had received a text message from one of her colleagues to say a few of her workmates were out having a drink and did she want to join them, and as they were all funny and interesting people she’d insisted that Asa would have the most amazing time if they all met up.

  Jackson had taken full advantage of their departure and currently had his arm draped around Posy’s shoulder as they sat in the snug of a pub that had once been an old bank but was now filled with quiz machines and jukeboxes and jeering youths playing pool. At least they served good uncomplicated beer, which had cheered Jackson up no end, and their lucky find of a rare Saturday night vacant seat meant they could get up close and personal, which was making him even happier than the beer.

  Posy, on the other hand, wished he’d stop trying to kiss her all the time; at least long enough for her to finish a sentence. She’d certainly begun enough of them, and surely the law of averages said that eventually one complete utterance would slip through the net.

  ‘You look good tonight,’ he said. ‘I wanted to say it earlier but… you know… Got a tan since I last saw you.’

  She smiled. ‘It’s all that time spent—’

  His mouth was on hers again. She held in a squeak of frustration and reminded herself that it was nice to be desired like this – it had to be better than indifference. So she let him kiss her again and when he’d had enough she continued.

  ‘… outside. It’s so much easier to spend time outdoors when—’

  Another snog. It was like dancing with an overzealous, tipsy-from-lager-shandy sixth former at the school disco. She pushed him off.

  ‘Can’t we just talk for a bit?’

  ‘I thought we were talking. What else are we doing here?’

  ‘Well, one of us is trying to talk. You’re mostly trying to gag me with extreme suction.’

  ‘What?’

  Posy sighed. ‘I’m sorry; that was mean, ignore me. I’m just tired… and a bit anxious.’

  ‘Why would you be anxious?’

  ‘Well, I’m wondering if Asa is OK with Marella for a start.’

  ‘Of course he is – they got on like a house on fire.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose they did. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about really.’

  There wasn’t – Posy knew that. So why couldn’t she settle and enjoy herself here?

  ‘Do you want to go somewhere else?’ Jackson asked.

  She let her gaze run over the room.

  Sticky bar: check.

  Loud music: check.

  Cackling girls being ogled by spotty youths: check.

  Disturbing smell coming from the toilet area: check.

  ‘Maybe,’ she said. ‘At the risk of sounding like an old lady, it’s a bit… lively in here. Maybe we could go somewhere a bit more intimate – you know?’

  He waggled his eyebrows and grinned. ‘Intimate? How intimate?’

  She laughed. ‘Not that intimate! Somewhere a bit more… selective.’

  ‘You mean posh?’

  ‘It doesn’t have to be expensive. I’m out of work right now, don’t forget; I’m happy to do cheap and cheerful. But cheap and cheerful can still have a nice atmosphere and be a bit classier than this.’

  ‘You think this place is a dive?’

  ‘No, I didn’t mean it like that – maybe classy is the wrong word. Maybe the word I want is exclusive. Just a bit more interesting.’

  The brief expression of offence was gone again and Jackson brightened. ‘How about that place that does all the Belgian beers? It’s quieter in there. Is that interesting enough for you?’

  Posy had no idea – she’d never been in there. It sounded a little bit like where they were but it was worth a go. He was trying, after all. She nodded. ‘That sounds nice.’

  He downed the rest of his pint and offered his hand to help her out of her seat. She smiled as she took it, happy to be getting out of here, but somewhere in her head still sat the little thought that she’d rather be with Asa and Marella right now and, as she couldn’t do that without upsetting Jackson, she dearly wished that little thought would bugger off and leave her alone.

  * * *

  Jackson was looking distinctly sulky. Posy had been feeling more and more irritated as the night wore on, though it was hard to pinpoint why. It was more of a general feeling, but she put it down to a long day and hoped it was no more than that.

  ‘Please don’t be annoyed,’ she said as they left the bar at closing time and discussed where they were (or were not) going next. ‘I’m just really tired.’

  ‘I have a bed at my place.’

  Yes, Posy thought, and you’d be in it too. Besides being tired and wanting her own bed, spending the night at his flat would very likely mean them sleeping together, and she really didn’t feel they were at that point yet. It was probably better not to put herself in an awkward situation where she might have to refuse him in the first place.

  ‘I know,’ she said. ‘But it just means me having to get up early tomorrow to go home.’

  ‘Why do you need to go home early?’

  ‘Well, because Asa is there and I can’t very well leave him all day with my mum.’

  Jackson pouted, and Posy could tell what he was thinking. He was thinking what he’d more or less been complaining about all night – that Asa was getting more attention than he was.

  ‘He’s my guest,’ she added. ‘He’s come all the way from Somerset to visit and it would be rude of me to leave him. We already ditched him tonight and left him with Marella.’

  ‘They got on.’

  ‘Yes, and it’s lucky.’

  ‘I’ll pay for a cab tomorrow morning, as early as you like.’

  ‘Honestly,’ Posy said, feeling slightly irked by his continuing demands, ‘I’ve had a long day and I’m exhausted. I just want to go home.’

  ‘Fine,’ Jackson said, offering her a stiff kiss on the cheek. ‘I guess I’ll see you next time you’re in London… whenever that is.’

  * * *

  Posy arrived home just after midnight to find Carmel still up. Asa and Marella turned up two hours after that, making enough noise to wake her, Carmel, and probably the rest of the street. So she got up and so did her mum and in some respects it was like old times for Posy – Carmel happily cooking bacon for sandwiches to feed a drunkenly ravenous Marella when she really ought to have been in bed, only this time they’d all aged a few years and there was a new addition to the gang in the form of Asa.

  Posy decided she might as well have a sandwich with them as the bacon was cooked anyway, while Carmel sipped camomile tea and reassured everyone that she’d catch up on her sleep by staying in bed later.

  As they all settled, Marella and Asa recounted the night’s adventures. Posy was glad to hear they’d had a great time, though she was a little envious. Then Marella started to yawn and Carmel made up a bed for her on the sofa while Asa was happy to make do with a mound of cushions on the floor and wouldn’t hear of any fuss. Posy went to he
r own bed having had the offer to give it up refused by both of them, and was secretly very glad as she slipped under the covers, sleeping soundly almost as soon as she hit the pillow.

  * * *

  It was gone eleven the next morning when Posy woke again. She went downstairs to find Marella, Asa and Carmel already drinking coffee, despite all having had a heavier night than her.

  ‘Why didn’t you wake me?’ she asked, pulling out the last empty chair at the table to join them.

  ‘You looked out for the count when I put my head in,’ Carmel said. ‘I didn’t have the heart to.’

  ‘But I’ve slept half the day. I bet you’ve been waiting for me to get up so we could go out sightseeing.’

  ‘I thought you were meeting Jackson today…’ Carmel returned mildly as she pushed a coffee across the table towards her daughter.

  Posy gave a vague shrug as she took it and wrapped her fingers gratefully around the mug. The truth of the previous night was that she’d been finding Jackson hard work and she didn’t feel she had the energy for him today, even though she knew that would probably make him sulky again. ‘I thought maybe I’d come with you. I’d said to him we were going to spend time together today only because I didn’t think we’d get to do it last night. But as we did get to do that last night…’

  ‘Won’t he be disappointed?’

  ‘Oh,’ Posy said airily, ‘I don’t think so. I’ll text him; I’m sure it will be fine.’

  Carmel and Asa exchanged a brief look of confusion, but Marella gave Posy a shrewder one.

  ‘I’d love to come with you all,’ she said, ‘but I’ve got a scheme to finish for a meeting with a client tomorrow so…’

  ‘Of course,’ Carmel said. ‘You must do that if you need to. It’s been such a treat to see you again, though – seems like ages since we had a proper chat like this.’

  ‘God, at least eighteen months,’ Marella agreed. ‘I don’t know how that even happened.’

  ‘We get busy and time seems to slip through our fingers,’ Carmel replied, a faint note of melancholy in her voice. ‘Still, that’s how life is and really that’s how life is meant to be.’