Innocence Lost (Secrets & Scandals Book 1)

by Tiffany Green

  “Why didn’t you tell me? That’s splendid news. When is the wedding to be?”

  She licked her lips, not liking how things were spinning out of control. “I-I haven’t agreed yet, Evie.”

  “Why ever not?” Evie asked.

  Megan rubbed at her temple. “This is the greatest decision of my life. I must give it careful consideration.”

  The assemblage departed shortly after His Grace and Victoria’s arrival. Megan rode with her two friends in the luxurious Huntington ducal carriage, and their servants and luggage followed in another carriage. The duke, Julian, and Lord Ashton rode their horses as front escort, while two postilions and six outriders completed the traveling army. Every step from London took Megan that much farther from Nicholas. She looked out the window and wondered if Nicholas missed her at all.

  Megan sat in silence for a time, content to listen to Evie and Torie prattle about a variety of topics. But when a familiar name came up, she jolted upright.

  “The Duke of Huntington is quite a catch,” Evie said.

  Torie shook her head. “Not as big a catch as the Duke of Claremont. He is so very handsome.” Her features took on a dreamy look.

  “Claremont is extremely handsome,” Evie agreed. “Unfortunately, I haven’t seen much of him this season.”

  Torie’s shoulders drooped. “Indeed, that is a shame.”

  Evie chuckled. “Why, Victoria, I do believe you are smitten.”

  Megan turned away from her friends and looked out the window. She couldn’t stand to hear any more. Listing to them go on about Nicholas didn’t lighten her spirits one bit.

  “Everyone is curious about Claremont’s anomalous behavior,” Torie said. “Several times he has attended a party, but retreats quite suddenly. Daniel believes he’s still very angry with Lord Julian.”

  Evie nodded. “Ash spoke briefly with him last Tuesday evening at Scofield’s dinner party, but when he saw Lord Julian—”

  Megan jerked her head around. “Nicholas was there?” Her body went cold and dread settled in the pit of her stomach.

  Her friends exchanged startled looks. “Yes, but Ash said that he left as soon as he spied your brother,” Evie answered.

  “When?” she whispered.

  “Just prior to the first bell,” Evie said.

  She closed her eyes and moaned. A dagger slipping between her ribs would not have been more painful.

  “What is wrong, Megan?” Victoria asked.

  She paid her friend little attention. Before the first bell at Scofield’s dinner, she stood directly between Julian and Daniel. Nicholas would not have neglected seeing her. He didn’t want to face her, she realized as a shudder went through her, nor did he wish to marry her any longer. The pain coursing through her intensified. Julian had been right about Nicholas all along. The dagger twisted and drove in to the hilt.

  Squeezing her eyes shut, she forced back the pitiful lamentation hovering behind her lips. When she felt a hand on her shoulder, she opened tear-drenched eyes. Evie’s concerned face swam before her.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Yes,” she whispered, sounding unconvincing even to her own ears. She took the handkerchief Torie offered and wiped the tears from her eyes. After a calming breath, she turned to her friends. “I am fine, truly.” She fought to form a smile.

  Finally, Torie spoke. “Anytime you wish to talk, Megan, we’re here for you.” Evie nodded in agreement.

  “Thank you,” she replied, grateful they hadn’t pressed her for details.

  ****

  Nicholas squared his shoulders, then nodded for the footman to open the doors. “Angela.”

  She lowered the handkerchief from her cheek and rushed forward. “Oh, Nicky, I need your help.”

  His anger receded at the naked desperation in her eyes. “What sort of assistance can I give you?”

  “I-I need to return to the townhouse.” She twisted the handkerchief in her hands. “Just for a little while,” she added when he opened his mouth to object.

  He closed his eyes. “What about the fortune I settled on you?”

  “You know I’m no good with money.”

  He opened his mouth to object, but her next words stopped him cold. “Please, I cannot go back.” The desperation in her eyes deepened to urgent fear. She grabbed his arm. “I cannot go back to my father. The horrible beatings.” She choked on her words. “I would not survive a month.”

  The mantle clock ticked away the seconds. He focused back on beautiful, spoiled Angela and wanted to refuse her. Oh, Christ, how he wanted to refuse. He had Megan to think about. His sense of duty and obligation kept the refusal at bay. He would never allow a woman, even Angela, to return to such an abusive situation. His shoulders slumped. “If I am to help you, no one can know.”

  Her smile melted into confusion. “All right, if that is your wish.”

  “It is.” He turned to the secretary and scribbled a note. “This will allow you back into the townhouse.”

  Angela reached up and brushed a kiss across his cheek. “Thank you, Nicholas.”

  He watched her leave the room and wondered if he had just made a terrible mistake.

  In the hall, he stopped Carson with the instructions for Mae. Then he marched to his study where he’d left Jeremy upon Angela’s arrival.

  Jeremy looked up as Nicholas stormed inside. “Bad news?”

  “In a manner of speaking,” he said. Damn! He needed to see Megan.

  “Well, I have some good news,” Jeremy announced.

  He halted to glare at his friend. The man’s good humor darkened his mood. “And what might that be?”

  Jeremy cracked a ridiculous, face-splitting grin. “I’ve met the most beautiful lady in the entire world. Nick, I think I’m finally in love.”

  “In lust, you mean,” he said as he turned and studied the spine of a leather volume on the shelf behind him.

  “Definitely that, too,” Jeremy agreed. “But there’s something special about her.”

  He slid the book back into place. “And just who is this lady that has managed to capture your heart?” He turned, stunned to find no trace of humor in Jeremy’s eyes. Could England’s most notorious rake really be in love?

  “You would know if you went out more, Nick. But I’m damn glad that you don’t or you would probably be just as besotted for her as everyone else. It worries me that Huntington has an eye on her, though,” his friend said.

  “Daniel Claiborne?” Nicholas knew that the man was avoiding the marriage mart just as fervently as he and Jeremy had been. And now Jeremy was speaking of matrimony? And Daniel…? A funny tickle developed in the pit of Nicholas’s stomach.

  “I know,” Jeremy said, shaking his head. “I’m even awaiting approval before proposing to her. Eventually we must marry. It might as well be to someone as comely and desirable as she.” An amused glint sprang into his eyes. “And I’ve heard that her dowry is hideously large.”

  The bad feeling worsened. “Who is she? The only family I know with a marriageable daughter so desirable and who could afford to give such…an…enormous…dowry…” He stopped speaking and eyed his friend. “What is her name?”

  “Lady Megan Westland,” Jeremy said.

  Blinding fury suddenly took control. “She is mine,” he growled.

  Jeremy’s eyes went wide. “But how… When?”

  He spoke with clenched teeth. “The gorgeous country girl I met at Claremont.”

  “Good God, Nicholas, didn’t you tell me at White’s that the girl was a commoner?”

  “I didn’t know who she was at the time,” he snarled.

  “Well, then, why in the hell aren’t you—”

  “Julian,” he interrupted.

  His friend lifted his drink and gulped it back. “Yes, I see what you mean. But what of Megan? How does she feel about you?”

  All the anger drained from Nicholas. He shook his head, then revealed everything that had happened since the day he met her. “Bef
ore Julian’s arrival,” he finished, “I know she was starting to love me. But now… I really don’t know how she feels.”

  “What can I do?”

  He snapped his head up. “You wish to help? I thought you wanted to marry her.”

  Jeremy cracked a smile. “Nick, my friend, I never put my fingers in someone else’s pie, no matter how tasty it might be.”

  Nicholas blew out a sigh. “I am sorry I lost my temper.”

  “Yes, well you are notorious for doing that.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Come on, Nick. You and Julian would still be friends if you hadn’t lost your head all those years ago.”

  His anger swelled. “So Julian seducing Emily was my fault?”

  “No, old friend, I just don’t believe it happened.” When he opened his mouth to argue, Jeremy held up his hands and continued. “When I left Julian at Havenshire’s that night, Julian was so bloody into his cups he could hardly stand.”

  Nicholas remained silent. That did not prove a thing.

  “Do you know what I think?” his friend added. “I think it was easier to blame Julian than to believe Emily was a trollop.”

  “You know Julian’s reputation,” Nicholas said. “Damn it, you’d even placed bets on whether he could seduce certain ladies.” His face flushed hot. “He never lost those bets.”

  “Nicholas,” Jeremy said quietly. “I told you before, we never bet on Emily.”

  “You’ve seen Emily’s letter. She blamed Julian. How do you explain that?”

  Jeremy sighed. “It all comes down the fact that one of them lied. You just need to search your heart and memory to find the right answer.”

  Nicholas picked up his forgotten drink and took a generous gulp. He stared at his desk, knowing the letter Emily had written all those years ago still resided in the top drawer. Why would she have lied? The answer came easy for Julian. He didn’t want to marry and have a child.

  He thought back to Emily. She had married some country fellow and that was the last he heard of her. He narrowed his eyes. For the first time, he considered the matter from the other direction. What if he had been wrong about her? What if Julian had spoken the truth? After all, would she really have taken no for an answer if Julian had seduced her and gotten her with child? And why hadn’t her father demanded Julian’s head over the matter?

  He staggered to the nearest chair, then lowered his head into his hands. “Do you know what the funny thing about all this is?”

  “What?” Jeremy asked while he sank onto the opposite chair.

  He slowly raised his head. “The feelings I had for Emily were a drop of water compared to the ocean’s worth I have for Megan. And Julian is doing everything he can to keep us apart. But as it happens, our separation might just be my fault.”

  “Then why in God’s name aren’t you out there every night fighting for her, Nick?”

  He crackled a humorless laugh. “Because, believe it or not, I made an agreement with Julian.” He explained the details.

  “Give me a little time to think on this, Nick. You know my specialty is how to bend the rules without breaking them,” Jeremy said with a wink. “But I don’t think we have much time.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, from what I see, many are interested in your ladylove, but it seems that Julian wishes her to become the Duchess of Huntington.”

  He swore out loud, his heart melting in grief. “Do you know anything of her feelings for Huntington?” he asked. If she began to care for another… He wouldn’t allow himself to finish that thought.

  Jeremy shook his head. “Now that I think on it, she doesn’t seem excited by all of the attention she receives. In fact, she’s quite aloof. She doesn’t favor any one gentleman, either.” He smiled suddenly. “Including Daniel. That’s why I thought I had a chance.”

  The crushing weight upon Nicholas’s chest eased, and he prayed that Megan was distancing herself from possible suitors because of him.

  After a heavy sigh, Jeremy stood. “I’ve got to leave now. I’ll let you know my plan when I think on it. Oh, and by the by, if you talk to Phyllis, tell her absolutely nothing of any of this. If the old girl knew I was helping you get another…well, I can’t even begin to imagine her reaction.” His friend shuddered. “I can see how she managed to become a widow after only three months of marriage.”

  “Thank you, my friend, for helping me. I need you to be my eyes and ears. Watch over Megan, and keep me informed of her actions, all right?”

  “I will, Nick,” Jeremy agreed.

  Nicholas rose from the chair and gazed out the window. Jeremy would watch Megan from within and he would continue to watch her outside. But how much longer could he go on this way, sneaking in the bushes to watch her dance till dawn? He should be the one dancing and courting her, not a bunch of milksop dandies. He gnashed his teeth. By God, he would have Megan’s hand in marriage, even if he had to— A knock curtailed his thoughts. He turned to the door. “Enter.”

  His footman-informant rushed forward, out of breath. “Your Grace, they’ve departed.”

  “Who has departed? What are you saying?”

  “I just learned from my cousin that Lord Amersleigh has taken Lady Megan away.”

  “Away? Where?”

  “The Duke of Huntington’s estate.”

  Nicholas clenched his fists, his heart freezing to a block of ice. As soon as they returned, he would end the so-called arrangement and would procure a special license. Julian be damned. Megan would be his bride.

  CHAPTER 12

  “Please, accept this token of my affection and make me the happiest man alive. Marry me.”

  Megan turned from examining a book and could only gape as the Duke of Huntington reached for her hand and slipped the ring onto her finger. This was the reason he had asked her to accompany him to the library? She stared at him for several seconds, then lowered her gaze to the beautiful sapphire and diamond ring. Marry Huntington? Her mind whirled with images of Nicholas and what could have been. But he didn’t want her. He had never wanted her.

  “I knew you would be speechless, Megan, but I didn’t think it would last this long.” He shuffled from one foot to the other.

  She snapped her head up. “I’m sorry, Your Grace…”

  “Daniel,” he insisted, “and don’t apologize, just say yes. Then we can marry when I return from Scotland.”

  “That’s wonderful news, congratulations. I know the two of you will be very happy together,” Julian said, walking toward them with a large, satisfied smile.

  Just as she opened her mouth to inform her brother that she hadn’t yet agreed to Daniel’s proposal, the two men began discussing the wedding. And before she realized it, they were moving for the door. How dare they treat her this way? She could make her own decisions, especially one as significant as marriage.

  Daniel must have sensed she hadn’t joined them. He stopped and turned. “Coming, darling?” he asked, stretching out his hand.

  Megan bit her lip until a salty, metallic taste filled her mouth. She cut her eyes to her brother and observed his obvious delight. This was her chance to decline Daniel’s marriage offer. Thoughts of Nicholas raced through her mind again. Why, Nicholas? Why couldn’t you have loved me? The knot of dread that had been in her stomach for weeks now rose up her throat, threatening to spill out. She had to face the fact that Nicholas would not be a part of her future.

  She looked back at Daniel and swallowed her tears. Nicholas no longer wanted her. His absence and the way he avoided her made that abundantly clear. She must accept that and move on. Slowly, she nodded and reached for his hand.

  When they reached Daniel’s study, he sat behind the large mahogany desk. “I will announce the impending nuptials tonight at dinner. Tomorrow, however, I must leave for Scotland to minister to some pressing business.”

  Julian shifted in his chair. “How long will you be gone?”

  A flicker of regret crossed Dan
iel’s features. He kept his eyes on her, even though he answered her brother. “I’m not entirely certain. But I assure you, it won’t be overlong.”

  “Then I would like to give you this for the journey,” Julian said as he pulled a palm-sized object from his pocket and handed it to Daniel.

  She watched Daniel take her tiny portrait and smile as he moved his finger over the painted surface. He looked back at her brother. “Thank you, Julian. I shall always cherish this,” His eyes skidded over to her, “as I will your sister.”

  A finger of disquiet ran along her spine. Helplessness engulfed her. She could barely breathe.

  Rising from his chair, Daniel rounded the desk. He helped her to her feet. “I’m sorry to be leaving you so soon, darling, but I cannot delay this journey.”

  She had to squeeze words from her constricted throat. “I understand, Daniel.” Although she liked him very much, she would never love him with the passionate intensity she had for Nicholas.

  She didn’t miss Daniel’s smile when she called him by his given name for the first time. She bit her lip when he gathered her close. Her breath caught as he lowered his head. Oh no, he was going to kiss her! Slowly, his lips settled over hers. They lingered, then they were gone. She kept her eyes closed for several seconds so Daniel wouldn’t read the disappointment in them. She’d felt nothing.

  She opened her eyes. Daniel’s brows rose, clearly expecting her to have been blown away by the kiss. She forced her lips to curve up, even though that small action nearly killed her, and ignored her brother, who sported a well-pleased grin.

  What had she just gotten herself into?

  ****

  Later at dinner, Megan forced down a few bites of food. Daniel’s grandmother and brother had arrived earlier, and she wondered what their reaction would be to the betrothal. She knew that Victoria and Evie would be ecstatic, but she couldn’t be sure of anyone else. She also thought of Nicholas’s reaction. No doubt he would feel relief.

  Sadness enveloped her. She moved the asparagus around her plate with her fork, her stomach rebelling at the idea of any more food. She pressed her eyes shut. Why couldn’t she just forget about Nicholas? Was she doomed to spend the rest of her life thinking ‘if only?’