Forever Soul Ties

by Vanessa Davis Griggs

  “Why not?” he asked.

  “You’re crazy. I’m not calling your house and take a chance on your wife answering the phone.”

  He laughed. “I get calls from women all of the time. I have to, in what I do. Had my wife answered, she would have just thought you were someone from church or something.”

  “Do you have caller ID on your phone?”

  “Not yet. But I’m sure we’re going to be getting it soon.”

  “Oh. Well, I guess if you don’t have caller ID then she wouldn’t be able to see a name.”

  “Precisely.”

  “Does she know about me?” I asked.

  “You mean that you were the love of my life?” Ethan said with a smile in his voice.

  I felt myself blush a tad. “I’m sure you didn’t tell her that,” I said.

  “She knows a little about you. She knows your name and that I was crazy about you. Seriously. And she does bring your name up from time to time.”

  “Oh, I see what you’ve been doing now. You’ve been using me to mess with her.”

  “No, not really. But she does know that I possibly loved you at one time.”

  I wanted to hear more, but I felt this was really not a good topic to stay on. “Well, had I called and a name shown up on your caller ID, it would have been my husband’s name. I just wouldn’t want to call and get you in trouble if your wife hears a woman’s voice. And I refuse to do like some folks who call my house and just hang up. The least a person can do is to say they dialed the wrong number.”

  “No one dials anymore,” he said.

  “Oh, so I see you’re just full of jokey jokes tonight.”

  He laughed. “No, I’m just trying to keep the conversation honest and on point.”

  “Okay, so if the right word is not dialed anymore, then what is it?”

  “Go to dinner with me and I’ll tell you,” he said. “Right now. Come on.”

  “You don’t know the answer, do you? You don’t know what we should be saying instead of dialed.” I was trying my best to keep the conversation away from the topic of us meeting. But I so wanted to say yes to dinner with Ethan.

  “It’s touch tone. But the correct thing would just be to say called. I called the wrong number. Now, I was thinking we could meet for din—”

  “So the correct phrase would be touch toned or called the wrong number?” I said with a chuckle. “That doesn’t sound right at all.”

  “Okay, then I punched in,” Ethan said. “What about say in thirty minutes? We could meet at your shop or wherever you’d like. Then we could get in my car and—”

  “I’m sorry, but I punched in the wrong number?” I said. “Nope, that doesn’t sound right either.”

  “All right, then pressed,” Ethan said. “Now, what do you say? About dinner? With me . . . tonight. Let’s go and—”

  “Let’s see now. I’m sorry, I pressed the wrong number . . . numbers. Now that might work. Although I still like dialed. Maybe called is the best word to replace the word dialed. I called—”

  “Okay. If you don’t want to go, then just say you don’t. You don’t have to keep trying to ignore me or change the subject while I earnestly ask you something.” I heard the exasperation in his voice.

  “I just don’t think it’s wise to even play with this. Ethan, you and I both know, no matter how many times we might say differently, that there’s more going on between us than just friendship. We’re playing with fire over a large, open bucket of gasoline.”

  “I need to talk. I promise: that’s all I’m trying to do here. I need someone to talk to and you’re normally the one person who makes me feel the most comfortable to be free and speak what’s on my mind. But if you don’t want to talk, then that’s fine. I understand.”

  “I don’t mind talking to you. I know that you need someone you can feel free to be yourself with—no mask, no pretentions, just an unadulterated you. And I’m glad you feel you can be that way with me. But you and I, out in public, is not a good idea, particularly not for you.” I released a sigh. “You know how folks like to talk. Do you really want something like me and you together possibly getting out there? Really?”

  “I eat with women who are not my wife, in public I might add, a lot,” Ethan said.

  “Yeah, but how many are you sleeping with or trying to sleep with?”

  “What? Where did that come from?”

  “I’m sorry.” I really regretted how that must have sounded. “Who you sleep with or not is really none of my business. What you do, and with whom, is between you and God. I certainly had no right to say anything like that. I apologize.”

  “Then why did you say it?”

  “Because . . . I don’t know,” I lied. The truth is I knew he wanted more than just to eat and talk when it came to me. So what made me think I was any more special than the other women he apparently met on the pretense of having dinner?

  “Let me say this right here, right now. I have not cheated on my wife in over fifteen years.”

  “Then you’re admitting that you have cheated on her?”

  “Listen, this is not a conversation I’d prefer to have over the phone. Now, I’m going to go to your shop’s parking lot. I’m leaving right now. I’ll give you enough time to meet me there. If you don’t show up, then I won’t bother you anymore.”

  “Wait,” I said, trying to stall for time as I thought a little more about this.

  “I’m hanging up now. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” He hung up.

  Staring at the phone as the dial tone buzzed, I had to make a decision quickly. We weren’t doing anything wrong. All he wanted to do was talk. And I could see him not wanting to have the type of conversation I was trying to have just now over the phone. Not with his wife and children around, possibly listening in. That would be bad; to get him in trouble because of what he might end up saying inadvertently on the phone.

  I glanced at my watch. Eighteen minutes remaining. There was no real reason for me to always be left alone to sit in a big old empty house all by myself. I hurried and changed into a red pantsuit, then headed for the shop.

  Chapter 29

  But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

  —James 1:14

  When I pulled into the parking lot of my shop, Ethan’s car was already there. He got out of his car, walked over to mine as soon as I was parked, and tried to open the passenger’s side door. It was still locked. I unlocked it. He opened the door and quickly slid in.

  “Thanks for coming,” he said as he smiled. His eyes looked as though they were dancing. The inside lights in the car dimmed, then went out. “I appreciate this.”

  I turned on the overhead lights in the car. “Sure.” I wasn’t quite certain what was next after my arriving here.

  “Would you like to get in my car and we ride together?”

  “No. If we go anywhere, I’d prefer to drive.”

  “Okay. That will work for me,” Ethan said. “Do you think my car will be okay if I leave it here?”

  I hadn’t heard of anyone breaking into vehicles around here, but then, most folks weren’t here after dark. “I don’t know. I think it might be better if you park it somewhere that’s a bit busier than right here. I would hate for something to happen to your cute little gold Lexus.”

  “Okay, then I’ll move it. Any suggestions? I mean, this is your side of town.”

  “I suppose it depends on where we’re going. You said you wanted to get something to eat.”

  He smiled at me. Then began to tilt his head as though he were taking photos of me and his eyes were the camera lens. I could feel it more than see it, since there was just that one light on and it didn’t light up the inside of the car all that brightly. “What do you have a taste for?” Ethan finally said, essentially breaking up some of the tension.

  “Seafood,” I said. “I love seafood. Golden fried shrimp is my favorite.”

  “I love seafood, too. So do you
have a favorite seafood place?”

  “I do. But it’s a small little joint, not enough to really qualify as a restaurant. Which honestly, I’m still not all that comfortable doing with you. Going to a restaurant, that is.” I sighed, frustrated with my clumsiness in expressing my words. “I’m not all that comfortable with going to a restaurant with you.”

  “Do they have takeout?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then let’s go get takeout at the place you’re referring to. Then we can come back here and eat it in your shop. That’s if you don’t mind us smelling up the place with fish odor. But you have a table in there. It would be perfect,” Ethan said.

  I smiled. That was a very workable idea. We would be able to eat and talk without him getting into trouble, should the wrong person happen to see us together. “Well, if we’re going to do that, I suppose you can leave your car here. We can ride over there and just pick up something to go.” I nodded. “That will work.”

  “It works for me,” he said. “Drive on, my lady.”

  I glanced over at him. “First you need to buckle up your seatbelt,” I said.

  “Yeah. I was just about to do that.” He pulled the seatbelt and snapped it closed. I cranked up the car and drove to the seafood place.

  * * *

  It didn’t take long to order and get back to the shop. Ethan and I made our way inside. I excused myself to wash my hands. When I came back, my mouth hung open.

  “I hope you don’t mind,” Ethan said. “I’ll pay the cost for whatever I used.”

  I couldn’t say a word. He had a checkered blue and white plastic tablecloth on the table. And on the table were two lit candles in short crystal candleholders along with a small vase that contained two silk red roses. It was evident he’d opened one of the romance picnic gift packages I kept at the end of the counter. Blue plastic plates and matching utensils were also set. It looked so nice. And there were two plastic champagne glasses that I also included in that package.

  “Wow, this is really nice,” I was finally able to say.

  He pulled out the chair for me. “I’m glad you like it.”

  I sat down. He was about to sit down across from me, then stopped. “Oh, I need to go to the bathroom,” he said, then headed in the direction I’d just come from.

  I nodded as I looked around while he was gone, taking in the beautiful setting and ambiance. It was so nice. All but one set of lights were off. It worked perfectly with the candles as neither of the lights wrestled anything away from the other.

  Ethan came back and sat down. Once again, he said the grace. I smiled as I listened to his words that went well beyond thanking God merely “for the food we are about to receive for the nourishment of our bodies.” He even thanked God for having a friend like me in his life. Touching. Caused me to put my hand over my heart.

  “The fish and shrimp are absolutely wonderful,” he said after digging in with both hands. His lips were greasy from the food. “You know all of the good places to eat, I see. Now, the place I had planned to take you is good.” He shook his head. “But they can’t touch this seafood right c’here.” He pointed at an almost empty plate.

  I laughed. “You are so silly. ‘Right c’here,’ huh?” I said, mocking the way he’d pronounced here.

  “Woman, when you’re throwing down like this, who has time to speak proper English? This c’here is some good eating; I don’t know what you talking about!” He laughed a hearty, Santa Claus kind of laugh.

  “I’m glad you like it. It is good though.” I wiped the grease from my own lips.

  “And the company I have the honor of dining with is off the hook!” He winked at me.

  I tried not to grin . . . too much, anyway. “Glad I could be of service.”

  “Now, tell me: what would you have been doing had I not called and come up with this brilliant idea that is turning out to be a wonderful night between two good friends?”

  I took a swallow of soda. “I would be at home, most likely, alone . . . feasibly reading a book, possibly scanning through a hundred cable channels, still to find there’s really nothing good to watch on TV.”

  “Wow, forgive me if I begin to snore as you give the highlights of what could have been your night tonight.”

  “It might be boring, but I guarantee you that it’s safe,” I said.

  “As opposed to?”

  I bit my last shrimp. “As opposed to being here with you and all of your charm and great conversation. Which reminds me: we didn’t finish what we were talking about earlier.”

  He smiled. “You mean about me having an affair over a decade-and-a-half ago? Or the fact that I haven’t had an affair in fifteen years and it was only one night of weakness, which proves I’ve been relatively faithful to my wife?”

  “You’re not exactly being faithful right now.”

  “That’s up for debate.” Ethan wiped his mouth and hands with his napkin. He took a hard long draw from his soda’s straw, causing it to make a noise when he’d emptied it. He shook the empty cup, rattling only remaining ice.

  I picked up the champagne glass next to me and teetered it back and forth in the air. “You know, we didn’t use our glasses,” I said.

  “Yeah, well, I started to pour my cola in mine. But hey, it worked out just the same. Next time, we’ll use the glasses.”

  “So you’re telling me that with all of the so-called dinners you’ve had with other women, you’ve not cheated on your wife with one of them? Not even come close?”

  He had an expression that looked like he smelled something foul. “Nope. Not even close.”

  “Why are you here with me?”

  “We’re not cheating.”

  “It’s close enough to it. This is as much of a date as I’ve ever seen.”

  He leaned back against his chair and smugly looked at me. “We are two friends merely—”

  “Eating and talking,” I said. “Yeah. I’ve heard that one before. Then what did your wife say when you told her we would be dining and talking together tonight?”

  He chuckled. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

  I took another swallow of my soda. “Nope.”

  “Okay. I didn’t tell my wife that I was meeting you, eating with you, and before you ask, she has no idea how much I value spending time with you.”

  I shook my head. “That’s a bad sign right there. When you can’t share with your spouse what you’re doing, then it means you must be hiding something you shouldn’t be doing.”

  “So I suppose that means you’ve told your husband all about us?” Ethan said with a warm grin.

  “Us what? There is no us.” I sat back against my chair. “Let’s forget this discussion. Let’s just finish up so we can get on back to our respective homes.”

  “I’ve missed you.” Ethan leaned forward. “I’ve missed talking to you. I’ve missed laughing at your silly jokes with your silly self. I’ve missed . . . you.”

  I smiled, then twisted my mouth. “Wrong road. Time to detour. You need to find another road to ride on because this one is taking you completely in the wrong direction.”

  He leaned in some more. “Why exactly do you think I can’t stay away from you? Why do you think after all these years I still feel joy every time I see your face? What would you call it, my beautiful little butterfly?”

  “Soul ties,” I said.

  “Soul ties?” Ethan said. “Hmmm. An interesting phrase you’ve mentioned at least once before, I believe. So explain it better to me: what are soul ties?”

  I stood up and began clearing off the table so we could leave. Ethan stood and took my hand, stopping me from picking up the empty plate I was reaching for. I looked down at his hand, then back up and into his eyes.

  “What are soul ties?” he asked again. He took the back of his hand and gently touched my face.

  I looked at him and all of a sudden all I wanted to do was cry. It was crazy. I wanted to cry for what we could have had. I wanted to cry fo
r all the time we’d lost because of decisions we’d both made. I wanted to cry because there was nothing I would have loved more at that moment than to fall into his arms and let him hold me and love me forever. Forever soul ties, that’s the way my perfect world would have looked. He and I, together as one. But instead, here we were inside of my flower shop, eating seafood from The Golden Market off of plastic plates with plastic forks, while drinking out of cups made from suspect material, at best.

  He leaned down and softly kissed my lips. I didn’t need this right now. For sure, I didn’t need this. Not the way I was feeling about him. Not while we were alone in a place where no one could walk in and interrupt us before we made a mistake we might end up positively regretting later.

  I pulled away, resisting the urge to taste my own lips now that he had tasted them. “Soul ties,” I said, almost stumbling when I spoke, “is just what it sounds like. It’s an unbreakable tie that binds two souls together. Nothing can separate that love. Not time, not distance, not family, not friends, not circumstances, neither height, nor depth, nor things present, nor things to come. Nothing seems able to break the bond.” He took possession of me again. I tried to pull away. But truthfully, he had a hold on me in more ways than physically.

  “Let’s not walk away just yet,” Ethan said. “Let me show you just how much I love you.”

  I laughed, which was just what I needed to make my escape from his embrace. “That was so old school. You want to show me how much you love me and let me guess: it includes the two of us having sex.”

  “Gee, why don’t you just put it out there already,” Ethan said with a laugh. “But yes, that’s what we men do to show you women how much we really love you.”

  “And we ‘women’ take you ‘men’ wanting to have sex with us as your way of experiencing the best of both worlds without you caring about what we really want.”