For Sure

by France Daigle

  The Cripple leafed through the book, which did indeed seem to interest him.

  “Dat’s right nice of you. Tanks.”

  614.16.5

  The Cripple

  The error, in this case, consists in having overestimated the value of the numeral 12 compared to the 7, of which we have retained only its statistical aspect. And yet, nothing could be more false. A closer look reveals that the symbolic value of the numeral 7 is by far more established than that of 12. Such a fundamental error shakes the very foundations of this novel, which claims to be rife with accuracy. As though accuracy were a guarantee of serenity, of plenitude.

  615.70.4

  Errors

  Bent over a drawer in his filing cabinet, Zed is pretending to look for a file of sales and rentals, when in fact he’s only looking for some way to prolong Élizabeth’s presence in his office.

  “We’ve nuttin’ free just now, only could be, between now and a year from now, one or two might be comin’ up fer sale. From wot I’m hearin’ anyway.”

  “In any case, I’m in no hurry.”

  “I can’t be promisin’ you’d be de one gettin’ it, neider. We’ve a waitin’ list — dat’s wot I’m lookin’ for. Only de waitin’ list changes. Lots of times, folks’ll put der name down, an’ six months later dey buy a house in some udder place, on account of dey lose hope.”

  Zed decides he’s pretended to look long enough — he doesn’t want to appear too disorganized either — and makes believe he’s found the document at last.

  “Ha! Der it was all along, exactly where ’twas supposed to be.”

  He consults the waiting list, though he already knows what he’ll find there.

  “See, der’s seven or eight names here, only I know at least two or tree of dem’re not interested any longer. De udders I’ll have to check.”

  Élizabeth concludes that she better not get her hopes up.

  “I’ll see wot I can do. I’ll take yer name an’ phone number, just in case sometin’ comes up. You never know . . .”

  Élizabeth gives him the number.

  “’Ave you bin round here long, den? You don’t have to say, I’s just bein’ nosey is all.”

  Élizabeth liked his frankness

  “Around ten years. Since they opened the Oncology Centre.

  “Awh? You work der?

  “Yes. I’m a doctor.”

  “Awh!”

  “But I was away for a few years, then I came back.”

  “Awh.”

  Zed is silent for a moment, just looking at Élizabeth, trying to think of something elegant, something intelligent to say.

  “Is there a problem? Are doctors not allowed here?”

  Zed laughed:

  “No, no! Come to think of it, ’twouldn’t be a bad ting at all. We got none yet.”

  616.43.3

  Love

  The comparison between verbs beginning with the letter a in Bescherelle’s L’Art de conjuguer and those in L’Officiel du jeu Scrabble® took more time than an overview of all the words beginning with the letter a in L’Officiel du jeu Scrabble®.

  617.21.11

  More or Less Useful Details

  “Me, I hate wastin’ me time.”

  . . .

  “I know it don’t sound like a fear, but it is.”

  618.137.4

  Fears

  Complete the “Tales of Travel and Exploration” section with The Way of the World by Nicolas Bouvier.

  619.95.2

  Additions to La Bibliothèque idéale

  “Étienne, come on over ’ere a minute . . .”

  Whenever he accompanied Terry to the bookstore, Étienne was always quick to respond to his father’s call in the hope of receiving instructions for a task to undertake.

  “I want to show you dis ’ere kind of book. See how some of de pages doesn’t open?”

  Étienne watched, nodding.

  “Times past der was a whole lot o’ books like dis ’ere. You were wantin’ to read it, youse had to take a knife an’ cut to separate de pages yerself.”

  Terry demonstrated.

  “Nowadays, books like dis are sometin’ rare. Everytin’s cut an’ trimmed at de printer’s.”

  Étienne nodded again.

  “An’ de paper’s more like… coarse. Go on an’ touch . . .”

  Étienne touched the page.

  “… so de paper don’t cut even. It’s more like torn.”

  Étienne had already noticed the ragged edges, and thought his father was a bit clumsy.

  “Der’s folks like dis ’ere kind of book better dan de udders. An’ dey’re more expensive.”

  Étienne took note.

  620.113.7

  Collections

  “When yer older, if ever you works in a bookstore, you’ll already know dis kind o’ book exists.”

  “But, Dad! I already work in a bookstore!”

  But to be consistent, if chance does not exist, neither can error.

  621.70.5

  Errors

  At first, I wasn’t sure what it was. Proof of identity, legal document, a bunch of whereas this and whereas that . . . I copied it all without really paying much attention, I have to admit. Until I ran out of paper. While they were restocking me, I had time to see, flat up against my glass, a child’s drawing of a sun and moon in the same sky. The colours were bright and dense, a drawing by someone who did not retreat before the thick materiality of things. At the bottom of the sheet, an adult’s hand had written in quotes: “It’s because of the sun that I like the moon, now. Before, the moon frightened me. It’s as though the sun shines everywhere inside me. The moon only makes me think. And often I fall asleep.” It wasn’t the first child’s drawing that had come my way, not by a long shot, but there was something special about this one, I don’t know why. Something decisive, and at the same time spontaneous. A life, what! After I’d emblazed it with my light, I continued to look at it, until it went away, without knowing that I had etched it in my secret memory.

  622.57.6

  Photocopies

  Complete the “War” section with The Notebook by Agota Kristof.

  623.95.4

  Additions to La Bibliothèque idéale

  Because he adored potatoes, and he was often the one who cooked their meals, Terry had built up a small inventory of potato-based recipes. The whole family appreciated most of these dishes, especially his potatoes fried in bacon grease. The ingredients could not have been more basic — potatoes, bacon grease, salt, and pepper — but the trick was in getting just the right amounts, and in the cooking, because the crunchier the potatoes the more cheerful the family gathered round the table.

  624.23.1

  Potatoes

  If all the verbs beginning with the letter a in L’Officiel du jeu Scrabble® and in Bescherelle’s L’Art de conjuguer are recognized as being part of the French language, a study of other dictionaries and lexicons of the French language would certainly increase the total beyond 557.

  625.21.4

  More or Less Useful Details

  At the grocery store, Terry would not buy just any sack of potatoes.

  “No, we don’t want dose in de plastic bags. Has to be in a paper bag. An’ it’s best if der’s a little window so’s we can see if de potatoes’re good-lookin’ or not.”

  Étienne gave his father a questioning look. Good-looking? Potatoes?

  “Potato has to be hard, doesn’t it, an’ we don’t want a wrinkled peel. Look, stick yer finger in de hole here . . .”

  Étienne plunged his finger into the netting of the bag.

  “Alright den, now press down on de potato. Is she soft?”

  Étienne gave Te
rry a noncommittal shake of his head. He didn’t know.

  “Hold on a second.”

  Terry tested the potato himself.

  “Not bad. We don’t want nuttin’ growing on de spuds neider. You know, dose white stalks dat come up sometimes?”

  Étienne nodded yes.

  “Dose’re called sprouts. See here, der’s none. Dat’s good.”

  Terry motioned Étienne to touch the eye of a spud.

  “See. Now dat’s a potato eye. Dat’s where de sprouts grow out of. Well, here der’s none. Alright den, so dese’re de ones we’ll take.”

  626.23.2

  Potatoes

  Length of thread, temporary knots and interstitches. The ideal length of thread is 45 centimetres. Temporary knots and interstitches to begin, fasten or finish a length of thread. Avoid spaces longer than 1.25 centimetres. On a frame, stitch from top to bottom. The frame and practice will ensure a uniform tautness of stitches. Various ways of holding on to lengths of thread of different colours.

  627.71.7

  Intro Embroidery

  Even though he expected to get her answering machine, Zed was happy to have a reason to call Élizabeth.

  “Hello?”

  “Élizabeth Thomas?”

  “Yes . . .”

  “It’s Zed, de lofts. You came by de udder day . . .”

  “Yes . . .”

  “I fergot to ask you when you came . . . Well, der’s different size lofts, an’ I’s wonderin’ if you were lookin’ fer sometin’ big, or sometin’ not so big . . .”

  Zed hated the way he kept switching from the formal vous to the familiar tu when he addressed her.

  “Oh, of course. Well, let me think . . . Are the small ones very small?”

  “Dat depends, I suppose. Even de small ones’ aren’t all de same size.”

  . . .

  “I’ve got one of de smallest meself, an’ I like it fine. Only, I live alone, so . . .”

  . . .

  “All depends how a body fixes it up, I suppose.”

  “And the big ones?”

  “On account of I tink der’s one — a small one, mind you — dat could be comin’ free afore too long. Most likely it’ll be up fer rent at first. De boy wants to move out to Montréal, only ee’s not too sure, not sure ee’ll be stayin’ over der. It’s only my opinion, now, but I’d say de boy won’t be comin’ back dis way.”

  “Yes, I see.”

  “If you want to come by again, I could show you my own loft, just so’s you can get an idea of de size. I can’t be havin’ you visit de fellow’s on account of ee’s not yet made up ’is mind, officially I mean.”

  By now the informal tu had prevailed.

  “Yes, okay. Can I come by today?”

  “Dat’d be perfect, sure. I expect I’ll be around all day.”

  “Would this afternoon around three o’clock work?”

  “Dat’s just fine. I’ll be in de office most likely.”

  “Great. I’ll see you later.”

  “Alright, den. We’ll see each udder dis afternoon.”

  628.43.9

  Love

  Prince Edward Island is number one in Canada when it comes to farming potatoes. More than 43,000 hectares of potatoes are planted there every year, compared to 31,000 in Manitoba, which is second. New Brunswick and Alberta share third place with approximately 24,000 hectares each, followed by Québec with 19,000 hectares, Ontario with 18,000 hectares, Saskatchewan with 5,000 hectares, British Columbia with less than 4,000 hectares, Nova Scotia with 2,000 hectares, and Newfoundland and Labrador with 255 hectares.

  629.3.12

  Statistics

  Over time, with a word here and there, Le Grand Étienne had raised it with Ludmilla, who eventually spoke to Terry.

  “You understand, it would mean a great deal to him. He’d be honoured, as would I, naturally.”

  Terry couldn’t believe it: the great Zablonski and Ludmilla, godfather and godmother of his son!

  “But we don’t want Marianne to feel left out. Maybe it’s too delicate . . .”

  Terry was thinking how Marianne might take it; he wasn’t sure.

  “Unless you have other objections. It was just an idea, really; it may not suit you at all.”

  Terry sought to reassure her.

  “Naw, it’s a right nice idea. I’m pretty sure Étienne would be wonderful proud himself. I’ll talk it over wid Carmen soon as I get de chance. Only dis evening she’s workin’. “

  “Of course.”

  630.44.1

  Godfathers and Godmothers

  Blissful Orange. Apples and oranges. Spanish oranges, Moroccan oranges. The House of Orange. Versailles Orangerie, Musée de l’Orangerie. “You can’t eat an orange and then throw away the peel — a man is not a piece of fruit” — Arthur Miller. Halloween.

  631.83.6

  Bliss and Colours

  “Already, no more tootpaste? Wot’s goin’ on in dis house? Are ya all eatin’ it or wot?”

  Marianne started laughing. Terry continued:

  “I sure hope not, mind ya. It’s not good to be swallyin’ tootpaste.”

  “On account of?”

  More and more, Étienne wanted to know the why of things.

  “On account of it’s no good fer us.”

  “But we puts it in our mouths . . .”

  Terry understood the paradox that Étienne had grasped, especially since children were already being repeatedly warned about not putting things in their mouths.

  “It’s not bad for yer mout’, only for yer stomach.”

  “Wot does it do, den?”

  “Don’t know fer sure, dey only tell us not to swally it.”

  . . .

  “Yer stomach’s made to swally food. Tootpaste, well, ya can’t call dat food, now can ya?”

  “Toot-pays, toot-pays . . .”

  Marianne loved to sing her little tunes.

  “It’s not so bad if we swally a wee bit now an’ den. I mean, when yer after brushin’ yer teet’, hard not to. Even if we rinses out our mout’ an’ all.”

  . . .

  Judging by Étienne’s silence, Terry suspected that the boy had not been paying a lot of attention to rinsing after brushing.

  “Eh? Dat’s why we rinse our mout’ when we’re done brushin’, instead of just swallyin’ it all.”

  Terry followed this advice with a demonstration, took a mouthful of water, sloshed it all around in his mouth and spit it out.

  “An’ der she goes, dat’s how.”

  Étienne nodded, and proceeded to brush his teeth, to rinse and spit exactly as his father had done.

  “Hurrah! Dat’s de way!”

  Marianne’s apprenticeship would take a little longer. She brushed in all directions, and she had not realized that one should spit down rather than straight ahead, but the basic idea had been grasped.

  “Dat’s good, Marianne. Yer gettin’ der . . .”

  632.126.11

  Techniques

  To confess then: since the beginning of time, the numeral 7 has, in a million different ways, symbolized plenitude, perfection, totality. What’s more, the 7 is more universally symbolic in this sense than the numeral 12. There it is. I’ve said it. Those who are curious can consult The Penguin Dictionary of Symbols by Chevalier and Gheerbrant to learn how the 7 is omnipresent in almost all cultures in the world (the Chinese culture not so much).

  633.70.6

  Errors

  “Imagine dat, can ya? Zablonski, Étienne’s godfawder?”

  Carmen also found it touching, even a little bit exhilarating, that Étienne Zablonski and Ludmilla would offer themselves as godfather and mother of her and Terry’s son.

&n
bsp; “An’ wot about Marianne, den? Are ya tinkin’ she might be boddered?”

  “We only have to find her a godfawder and mudder of her own.”

  “Are you tinkin’ of someone in particular, den?”

  “Far as I’m concerned, I wouldn’t mind Zed bein’ her godfawder. Godmudder, I don’t know. Josse maybe?”

  “Ya, Zed fer sure.”

  . . .

  “Would it have to be a real baptism d’ya tink? De whole religious hulabaloo?”

  Neither of them were jumping for joy at the prospect.

  “Why not have a wee ceremony right ’ere? Have a bit of a soiree to make it official . . .”

  The idea appealed to both of them as simple and sensible.

  634.44.2

  Godfathers and Godmothers

  “Geez, it’s like excitin’! When’re we gonna tell ’em then?”

  Terry sensed that Carmen would not be able to restrain herself for long.

  Since an acknowledged error has a chance of being forgiven, and every day’s a new day, this book will continue to adhere to its original premise, which is not totally unfounded.

  635.70.7

  Errors

  “Étienne, Marianne, come ’ere a minute!”

  The two children arrived bursting with energy, almost overexcited, poking and tickling one another. Carmen wondered if this might not be the best time to raise what was a more or less serious matter.

  “Sit yerselves down now, we want to explain sometin’ to ya.”

  Étienne tickled Marianne one last time and the two children calmed down. Carmen nodded at Terry to begin.

  “Carmen an’ me, we tink it’d be a proper ting fer you boat to have a godfawder an’ godmudder.”

  Immediatly Étienne leapt with joy:

  “Yaay!”

  Marianne, too, rejoiced, but without really knowing why. Mainly for her benefit, Terry added:

  “A godfawder or godmudder is someone who cares for you in a special way.”