For Sure

by France Daigle

  Le Petit Étienne protested, laughing.

  834.36.2

  Strawberries

  Language hides more than it reveals. Which is what makes confession difficult, and objectivity impossible.

  835.136.8

  The Unavowed

  Zed explained to Chico that he could say a few words during the adoption ceremony, if he felt like it:

  “I meself’ll most likely be sayin’ someting like . . . tanks to me mudder an’ me dad — even de one I never knowed — on account of I’m right glad to be alive after doin’ dis ting ’ere today, an’ I suppose I’d not be ’ere if it weren’t fer dem.”

  Chico was all ears and eyes.

  “An’ tanks to yer dad Shawn, puttin’ ’is trust in me, an’ to Granny Lauzia an’ her man Médric, who I never knowed, an’ to yer mudder, even doh I don’t know her, on account of widout all of dem Chico wouldn’t be ’ere neider, right?”

  This last twist made Chico smile.

  “Tanks to Lionel an’ Sylvia an’ me aunty Annette, an’ all de folks who believed in me, an’ Terry an’ Carmen, me role model parents . . . don’t know how to say role model in French . . .”

  As a matter of fact, Chico had noticed that the French language was often a subject of conversation in his new environment.

  “An a great big tank you to you yerself, Chico, fer acceptin’ me as yer new dad. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s as doh I already knowed you afore I knew you. An’ I promise dat I’ll be doin’ everyting I can so dat you have a good life.”

  836.52.7

  Ceremony

  Chico particularly liked this last part, and was eager to join in:

  “Alright, I’ll be wanting to say someting too.”

  on the wooden chair

  apple core sweats in the sun

  pips will spring in time

  837.55.8

  Haikus

  Ludmilla sat down with her cereal bowl while her husband displayed his purchases.

  “Looks fine to me.”

  “There were all kinds. I took the ones for trout.”

  Ludmilla crunched on her cereals, and listened to Le Grand Étienne’s report.

  “They’re cork. These reels have only two ball bearings. The more expensive ones had eight.”

  Zablonski poured himself a coffee.

  “Some had light-action reels, others medium. Some are made of graphite, more sensitive, less sensitive . . . a real circus!”

  And then, adding sugar to his coffee:

  “They even sell tiny modules called echo sounders that attach to the rod and tell you where the fish are! Can you imagine?!”

  !

  “You think they’ll be happy?”

  Ludmilla was sure they would.

  838.111.7

  Tools

  Étienne will forever be marked by the moving houses of Caraquet.

  839.140.11

  Caraquet

  “Well, how ’bout Tide den, would Tide be poison too?”

  “Holy geez, Étienne! Now yer startin’ to worry me!”

  But Étienne really wanted to know:

  “Like, say Granny was to put de Tide in ’er strawberry pie instead o’ sugar, would dat kill de whole family?”

  “Well, I suppose which ever one o’ us took de first bite would right away know de taste was bad, an’ would spit it out or choke on it or some such ting, an’ den de rest of us would hold off eatin’ it. Den de police would come in to figure out wot happened, and den most likely Granny’d be hauled off to de prison, if dey could prove dat she was weary of us all and really wanted to poison de whole lot of us.”

  Étienne had not imagined the story could end in prison.

  “But, how come de police knowed ’twas Granny?”

  “Knew. We say knew.”

  . . .

  “I don’t know, do I. Might be de neighbours heard de screamin’ or someting like, an’ dey dialled 9-1-1.”

  840.36.3

  Strawberries

  To arrive at a small or grand slam contract, the players must first bid in the natural manner until one of the two partners gets to a bid of four no trump. The other partner then bids five clubs if he has no aces, five diamonds if he has one, five hearts if he has two, or five spades if he has three aces. The bidder can then ask for kings in the same manner. The partner will respond with a bid of six clubs if he has no kings, six diamonds if he has a single king, six hearts if he has two, and six spades if he has three kings. Language is rife with codes.

  841.127.12

  Tactics

  The strawberry picking was in full swing.

  “Dad, is der a jail for kids?”

  Étienne had used the English word jail instead of the French prison.

  “Prison. Yer not allowed to say jail. But, dat’s alright, I won’t tell your mudder.”

  “Well, you said ender up in prison.”

  “I said dat? I never even noticed.”

  842.36.4

  Strawberries

  Terry was playing innocent, but he was conscious that he’d been increaingly lapsing into Chiac lately.

  “I won’t tell Mum neider.”

  To account for.

  843.122.1

  Sports

  “No, dey doesn’t really have prisons fer kids. If ever a child was to do someting terrible wrong, dey’d figure it was on account of de parents didn’t bring ’im up proper. An den dey sends de child to a special kind o’ school where he’d be learnin’ wot de parents failed to teach ’im.”

  Le Petit Étienne was paying close attention.

  “Only dose schools’re a whole lot stricter dan de schools we got ’round ’ere. Most times you ’ave to stay der a couple o’ years. You sleep der an’ everyting.”

  Terry, thinking he would like to be inside Étienne’s head to know what the boy was thinking, struggled to say more:

  “Like, let’s say you decide to put some of dat Tide in de sugar bowl, an’ I get up one mornin’ not knowing, an’ I pour a whole lot of it in me Cheerios, so den I end up havin’ to go to de hospital . . . Most likely, dey’ll try to figure why you’d be wantin’ to do me harm. Could be on account of I don’t treat you right, or maybe der’s someting inside you dat needs to hurt people, or could be you don’t know de difference betwixt right an’ wrong.”

  Le Petit Étienne had never imagined that the police made such fine distinctions.

  “Chances are dey’ll decide it wasn’t really yer fault, on account of it’s awful rare dat a child by himself is really bad. Almost always it’s udder people dat made ’im de way ee is.”

  For a moment Étienne continued to pick strawberries, seemed satisfied.

  “An’ if it turned out dat I was really bad, all by meself inside me, what would happen den?”

  Le Petit Étienne had used the word quesse or “what” instead of the more colloquial quosse or “wot,” thereby demonstrating that even he knew how to refine his language in a delicate situation.

  844.36.5

  Strawberries

  Turn the soil over with a ploughshare, fertilize it with a manure spreader, loosen it with a crop-dusting tandem or cultivator, sow with a line seeder, reap with a mower-conditioner, ted with a rake, harvest with a baler, a combine harvester or a haywagon, and ensile with a silage blower.

  845.126.1

  Techniques

  Terry and his son picked in silence for a while. Only the wind in the leaves, the insects buzzing and birdsong could be heard.

  “Folks dat put down de poison to kill de insects on strawberries, do dey go to prison?”

  “Not yet dey don’t, but people ought to make up der minds ’bout it pretty soon. De government
’s still testin’ to be certain all dem chemicals aren’t harmin’ our healt . . . only a fellow’s gotta ask hisself how can dey not be harmful? Alright, a wee sprayin’ ’ere an’ dere, might not be so bad. Only now it’s got so dey’re puttin’ it all over everyting. On de strawberries, on de potatoes, on de broccoli, on yer furniture, on yer carpets . . . even on children’s toys!”

  Le Petit Étienne figured it might be the spraying of chemicals on potatoes that was really irritating his dad.

  “Take de Island — we’ve not taken you over der yet, but won’t be long afore we do — on de island, der’s fields an’ fields an’ fields o’ potatoes. Only dey’s sprayin’ so much chemicals on dem dat de kids, an’ even de adults, are gettin’ sicker an’ sicker all de time. Dey can hardly breathe over der!”

  Étienne thought about it.

  “I can hardly breathe meself, when I’m runnin’.”

  “Sure an’ it’s normal when yer runnin’, boy. Runnin’s not easy. It’s way hard on de lungs an’ de legs. Dat’s why dey call it sport.”

  846.36.6

  Strawberries

  A curve has been taking shape for a while now, assuming it hasn’t been there all along, and it will continue to develop for a while longer, if not forever. In fact, it’s not inconceivable that we are dealing here with a circle rather than a cube, but it’s neither necessary nor desirable to pursue this idea any further.

  847.73.2

  Shifts

  Terry completed his thought:

  “De ting is dat nowadays dey’s puttin’ such a shockin’ amount of chemicals everywhere, it’s a whole mess of stuff dat’s goin’ inside us an’ dat can’t do udderwise dan hurt us. Der’s a terrible lot of illnesses nowadays de doctors don’t know what causes dem. Ask me, it’s all dem chemicals.”

  . . .

  It occurred to Terry he might have raised a subject that was too harsh for a child’s ears.

  “Sure, I don’t want to put de fear in ya wid all dis talk. Only, if folks was lookin’ furder dan de end o’ der noses, dey wouldn’t be puttin’ so many o’ dem chemicals all over de place. Take dis place ’ere, dey put zero chemicals an’, ya see yerself, de strawberries are right fine just de same. In dose udder fields, dey’s puttin’ seven! Seven different chemicals!”

  848.36.7

  Strawberries

  . . .

  “Do you understand wot zero is?”

  Straight shooter.

  849.126.9

  Techniques

  Terry and Étienne made their way to the field’s overseer’s stall with their containers full of strawberries.

  “By de way, which one o’ yer grannies were you tinkin’ might be puttin’ Tide in her apple pie?”

  Étienne felt a sudden hot flash.

  “It doesn’t matter wot you say, I’s just curious is all.”

  Étienne loved both his grandmothers, and couldn’t think what to answer.

  “I bet you was tinkin’ o’ Granny Thibodeau.”

  Étienne tried to imagine his grandmother Thibodeau doing the unthinkable. It was difficult.

  “Come on den, you can tell yer dad . . .”

  Étienne neither nodded nor shook his head, although he felt it would have been easier to reply with a movement of his head than with words.

  “I knew it.”

  Étienne wondered what it was his father knew all of a sudden.

  “Don’t bodder yerself about it. I’m not surprised. She’s me mudder, an’ I know her.”

  ?!

  “Not dat she’d do it, mind ya. Only I do believe de tawt crossed ’er mind once or twice. Don’t ferget, we were five boys in dat house. An’ Spinball an’ Gloose were a couple o’ devils when dey’s young. ’Specially Spinball.”

  !

  “You wouldn’t tink so, eh, lookin’ at ’em today?”

  850.36.8

  Strawberries

  Today, Friday, big job. Normally Friday is not the day they choose to overwork me. I was pressed into expectorating twice 200 copies of a multi-page questionnaire on golf. I despise being worked hard on Friday after I’ve stood around waiting through the entire week: the habit of work is something one loses and Friday is not a good day to regain it. In short, I took my time. I began by coughing a bit, then I crumpled* several sheets before flatly refusing to continue by simply jamming. Most likely surprised to be called upon, my most subtle mechanism — i.e., my automatic sorting tray, the equivalent to what medicine used to call the humours — refused to co-operate, triggering the paper-thickness code. Then the paper stock ran out, which was clearly not my fault, and to make matters worse, the ink supply followed suit, which normally doesn’t happen every week. Result: I had company almost all afternoon. At first, I laughed to myself, but I soon tired of their clumsy fiddling, and before long I longed to be alone again to rebuild my memory and thoughts.

  851.57.9

  Photocopies

  * The French word for crumple is chiffonner, but many Acadians will say fichonner or fichounner instead. The equivalent in English might be prumcle or proumcle.

  854.143.2

  Varia

  Terry and Étienne found themselves still some distance from the small kiosk.

  “Folks say dat to grow as many strawberries as dey do ’ere, a fellow’s got to get inside de head of a strawberry.”

  “Dad! A strawberry’s got no head!”

  “Wot I mean, you gotta see de world troo de eyes of a strawberry. I know, I know, a strawberry’s got no eyes!”

  Étienne started to laugh.

  “Wot dey mean to say is dat you gotta tink de way a strawberry tinks, if a strawberry could tink. Which dey very well might do, we can’t know fer sure, can we?”

  . . .

  “Dat’s de troot! Der’s dem dat say plants do tink, an’ dat sometimes dey wiggle der leaves to show it.”

  852.36.10

  Strawberries

  Hunting moose, also called American elk, is considered a sport for several reasons: the hunter only gains the right to hunt through drawing lots, the hunting season only lasts three days per year, moose rarely move about when it’s windy, calling the animal too often tends to confuse it, the hunter has to spread urine near his stand to attract the bull in heat and, finally, because the hunter is required to gut and dismember the carcass.

  853.122.7

  Sports

  Find the video recordings of Derrick de Kerckhove in Shippagan.

  855.68.9

  Projects

  “’Ave you tawt ’bout wot yer gonna say?”

  The adoption ceremony was approaching, and Zed was just a little nervous. But Chico didn’t seem worried at all.

  “I tink about it . . . only not all dat much.”

  In fact, Chico let his thoughts on the subject come and go, because there were so many other things in his new environment that required his attention. As a result, at the ceremony:

  “Terry says me dad Shawn was good in maths in school, an’ I’m good in maths in school as well.”

  An affectionate murmur swept through the crowd, but Chico would not be diverted.

  856.52.8

  Ceremony

  “Now, I can’t wait to find out wot I’ll be good at wid Zed.”

  That was all it took, warm applause followed, and Zed’s adoption of Chico was official.

  Tried and tested, a sport not unlike settling accounts

  857.122.6

  Sports

  Exceptionally, Zablonski was the one who spoke longest.

  “I won’t hide the fact that I feel I’m Étienne’s natural godfather. And because the boy has talent, one might be tempted to imagine the kind of relationship between a painter and his student common
in the Middle Ages. Whatever the case, in our case, I can say the master is learning as much from his student as the student from the master.”

  The assembled guests were touched by this display of humility from Le Grand Étienne toward the little one.

  “But the real reason that I feel myself to be the natural godfather of Étienne lies in the fact that even before I knew them, I heard Carmen throwing up, and saw Terry doing his best to reassure her from our side of the door to the washroom of an airbus flying over the Atlantic. I was waiting for my turn, feeling a bit of sympathy for the poor sick girl, when Terry turned to me and said, ‘She’s preggies.’

  Several audience members were pleasantly surprised by the accuracy of Zablonski’s imitation of Terry’s voice and diction.

  “I was in no hurry. In fact, I was going nowhere and, in a way, it was Terry and Carmen who, by their simple authenticity — which I continue to admire, by the way — put me back on track.”

  Everyone seemed to understand and to approve what Zablonski was saying about Terry and Carmen. But did he intend to go on talking for much longer?

  “All this to say that Ludmilla and I find ourselves here in a place that suits us perfectly, and that Étienne is in a way the child that we never had, and that we’re honoured to be accepted as his godfather and godmother.”

  Zablonski fell silent, but remained standing. Was he done talking? Was he too moved to continue?

  “Obviously, Ludmilla and I also have a special place in our hearts for Zed and Chico. Long live Chico, long live Zed!”

  “’ere! ’ere!”

  “Santé!”

  Everyone joined Étienne and Ludmilla in their toast to Chico and Zed, a toast that filled Chico’s heart with pride and joy, and that sealed forever for him his adoption pact.

  858.52.9

  Ceremony

  The Y-joint with two shut-off valves allows the connection of two water hoses on a single tap.

  859.111.2