For Sure
Page 59
these nights forever now stitched
with stars
1421.80.4
Cinquains
After a while, Catherine, ankle deep in water, stood up from the tree trunk on which she’d been sitting — a trunk jutting obliquely from the embankment where it was still anchored — and began like Chico to explore the river bottom. In the perfectly transparent water before her, she saw once more those groups of tiny fish rushing to get here and there, then suddenly turning back without any apparent reason.
“A bottle!”
Chico bent, freeing the bottle from the silt where it was buried, an old brown beer bottle, all scratched up and without a label, short and stout, a bottle from a bygone era. But unbroken.
1422.115.7
Catherine and Chico
Having considered the question from all angles, Carmen was absolutely convinced that Terry was planning a surprise party for her 36th birthday. After all, 36 was the product of 3 times 12, and Terry was sensitive to such things. If she was right, well then her own secret project seemed to be all the more fitting.
1423.110.8
A Day Off
“Would you like to walk a little further that way?”
1424.31.10
Questions with Answers
“OK.”
In the process of writing, a number of accidents occurred that confirmed the underlying theory. That was very satisfying.
1425.17.8
Chance
A fellow’s gotta expect to be makin’ a few mistakes along de way. An’ you can expect de udders to screw it up as well.”
“Me, I looks fer de companies dat everybody agrees on. Like, if everybody’s sayin’ dat de Billy Bully company’s about to go up to seven dollars, ’cept fer dis one fellow who tinks she’s only goin’ up to four, well, den I gets real careful. On account of even de analysts’re gonna fall into de trap o’ wishful tinkin’. Dey doesn’t do it on purpose. Dat’s just de way of tings. Nobody sees one hundred percent wot’s goin’ on inside der own head.”
. . .
“So on account of de wishful tinkin’, dey comes up wid different predictions. Well, fer me, dey all has to be in de same ballpark, udderwise it’s no go.”
Zed was following, and agreed.
“Same time, you has to be mindful. You has to listen to de contrarians.”
“De who?”
“De contrarians. Der de analysts wot’s always tinkin’ de exact opposite of all de udders. Dey looks fer de wee crack in de wall. On account of, wedder you likes it or not, der’s bound to be one.”
Zed appeared to be discouraged.
“Don’t go gettin’ all boddered. It sounds a whole lot more complicated dan it is.”
1426.85.2
The Stock Market
But as valuable as a theory may be, it is futile to adhere to it every day. A kind of intermittence then. A necessary intermittence, vital even. Must we absolutely grab that bull by the horns? Perhaps, but not today. No, today the bull is too much bull. Today something else calls to us. So be it. Like the movement of a pendulum. The pendulum never stops, never attains its limit. There’s no relation of cause and effect here: the pendulum never stops; the pendulum repeatedly attains its limit. Who would dare argue that the pendulum retreats before the impossible? You may object that the pendulum cannot think in such terms because it isn’t human. But who can say with certainty that we ourselves are not pendulums? Embrace the matter rather than forcing it. Become one with that which desires. Act on the manifest potential of things. And then one day, hop! The bull, both hands tightly gripping his horns. Intermittence. A technique. A tactic. A fervour. A fantasy.
1427.127.6
Tactics
They waded up to the first bend in the river, where Chico was surprised to see another splendid bend further ahead.
“She goes a long way, eh?”
“Almost all the way to Moncton.”
Impressed, Chico looked once more at the river before him.
“There’s a covered bridge about halfway there.”
“A wot?”
“A covered bridge.”
Chico still didn’t understand.
“A bridge covered in wood, with a roof and windows. You’ve never seen a bridge like that?”
Chico shrugged, uncertain.
“We’ll go by on our way, so you can see it.”
They stood there in silence in the water for a while, contemplating the river’s turning in the distance, before quietly turning back themselves the way they’d come.
“Did yous have a fishing rod?”
“No, only a kind of cage to catch the minnows you can see. I could catch a whole bunch in a day. I’d bring them home in a pail and put them in a big tub of water. We called it a gully in those days.”
“Granny’s got a gully . . .”
“See? It’s a fine word. Only in school they taught us to say tub, and that made us forget gully.”
Chico understood.
1428.115.8
Catherine and Chico
Because I sometimes open parentheses without closing them, because I launch beginnings that lead nowhere. Because I evoke trails that evaporate. Because all this is deceptive. Readers think they’ve guessed a meaning, imagine a direction, a probable action, a possible resolution. Wild goose chases. Yes, open parentheses, initiatives that lead nowhere, trails that evaporate. As in life. Possibilities, ambiguities, incompletetions. In light of all of which, it becomes occasionally necessary to rethink, reinterpret, reread. Not really a theory. More like a precaution: to rule nothing out, because everything can end up being useful. Not to presume.
1429.88.12
Freedom
“Don’t be takin’ dis de wrong way or nuttin’, only it stuns me just a wee bit to ’ear you talkin’ like dis ’bout de stock market’n all.”
. . .
“I doesn’t know you dat way. Wot I mean to say, I never tawt you ’ad it in you!”
. . .
“I suppose it oughtn’t to be surprisin’ me, on account of de way you tawt of how to finance de lofts, an’ den you does run yer own business . . .”
. . .
“An’ Carmen wid de bar, well dat’s a business as well.”
. . .
“An you ’aven’t said a word to Carmen, you little noggyhead . . .”
Terry was laughing.
“I can’t get it in me ’ead you hid dis from ’er.”
Terry, still laughing, protested:
“’Tisn’t dat I wanted to be hidin’ it from ’er. I only started out dat way, wid little bits. I didn’t want to be tellin’ her an’ puttin’ her on de edge of ’er nerves fer nuttin’. She ’ad enough to tink about wid de bar startin’ up an’ all. Plus, she was pregnant.”
Zed understood but, at the same time, it bothered him because it was as though he too was now participating in the cover-up. He’d been caught before by Carmen in this sort of misdeed, and he didn’t want it to happen again.
“Well, seems to me now’s de time to tell ’er.”
“Matter o’ fact, I almost told ’er dis mornin’. Came dat close.”
“And wot?”
“Don’t know. I was afraid ’twould break me luck.”
“You told me luck had no part in it!”
“I know! Dat’s not wot I mean.”
The two guys were enjoying this arguing back and forth. Zed insisted:
“De way dese tings go, she’ll most likely be tinkin’ I’s de one got you started.”
1430.85.4
The Stock Market
Terry could see his friend’s point; he even agreed with him, up to a point.”
“I’ll tell ’er afore long.
Promise.”
Trout bite because they’re hungry. Salmon, well, they don’t eat flies. They bite because the fly irritates them.
1431.89.11
Irritants
“So, I’d put all the fish in the tub, and every fifteen minutes I’d go and check if they were still swimming.”
. . .
“Dey swam for quite a while. I’d been careful to use salt water. Only I’d forgotten the cat.”
Chico raised his head, looked at Catherine, who continued:
“Each time I went back, seemed to me there were fewer than I expected, only I wasn’t sure. The cat was probably eating them one at a time, only I wasn’t smart enough to see it.”
Her lapse into English with the word smart made Chico smile.
“Over that way, there’s another bridge, maybe two. Iron bridges. Then at the end, she empties into Shediac Bay, with Grande-Digue on one shore and Shediac on the other.”
. . .
. . .
. . .
1432.115.9
Catherine and Chico
“The water level’s started to come down.”
Then, without warning, Catherine stretched gracefully and slipped gently into the water.
Terry realized that he liked having a secret in reserve.
1433.105.8
Reserves/Reservations
Toward four o’clock in the afternoon, Carmen was happy to sit down by herself, to enjoy her favourite dessert and a coffee:
“Have you got any mocha cake left?”
It wasn’t the first time that, in spite of everything, her little family had been at the heart of her day off. How could it be otherwise? Mimi and she might complain about the ups and downs of their conjugal and family lives, the truth was that Terry, Étienne, and Marianne’s happiness was what mattered most to her, as her visit to the travel agent amply demonstrated. In any case, Terry too did his best for them, not to mention she was now convinced that he was organizing a surprise party for her 36th birthday. Leafing through the latest issue of Elle magazine, Carmen had the feeling she was biding her time before going home to spend a quiet Friday evening with Terry and the kids.
1434.110.12
A Day Off
Examination question for Ancient French (FRAN 1755): Demonstrate by means of multiple examples that Pascal Poirier is right to argue in his Glossaire acadien that it was, once again, the typesetters who fiddled with the word for bucket “siau” to make it “seau.”
1435.32.11
Exam Questions
By late afternoon, Zed’s introduction to the world of the stock market was transported to the Babar.
“Say a company’s been around fer a hundred years . . . somewhere along de line, dey had to be doin’ sometin’ a wee bit clever to last dat long. Like, folks had to be wantin’ to keep on workin’ der, wot means dey’s earnin’ a decent wage, ’tisn’t too dangerous, de bosses are nice enough, tings like dat.”
Josse arrived in mid-conversation:
“Anudder beer, boys?”
Terry pushed aside the Molson he’d ordered early:
“Can you bring me sometin’ dat makes sense . . . a Keith’s.”
Josse approved:
“I tawt ’twas weird you drinkin’ Molson’s. Aside from Québécois, I can’t tink who drinks dat.”
“I figured I’d test it.”
But Josse was too busy to go into the details.
“How ’bout you, Zed?”
“Anudder Sleeman.”
Once Josse had gone, Terry explained:
“I was after tinkin’ o’ buyin’ some Molson’s shares, only I just now changed me mind. On account of I has to like de product, I gotta be some way’s proud o’ wot de company’s doin’.”
“Me, I was tinkin’ maybe Canadian Tire . . .”
“Now dat’s a good example. Der’s no reason to tink Canadian Tire’s gonna be goin’ out o’ business anytime soon, so once you’ve bought in, you checks like once a week, only to be sure der’s nuttin’ funny goin’ on. Sometimes you gets to feelin’ sometin’s goin’ on. Like when a company’s makin’ big changes. Let’s say, I don’t know, maybe Canadian Tire decides to start buildin’ churches.”
Zed burst out laughing.
“Doesn’t mean ’tis a bad ting, mind you, only you has to ask yerself why.”
1436.85.5
The Stock Market
In Don Giovanni, Mozart more or less writes himself onto the stage by having excerpts from operas in vogue at the time, including his The Marriage of Figaro, played during a feast being prepared by the celebrated protagonist. In similar fashion, the character France Daigle once saw Carmen in a café leafing through an issue of Elle magazine.
1437.96.12
Characters
Josse returned with Terry and Zed’s order:
“Where’s Bernie got to dese days? Been a dog’s age since I seen ’im.”
“Ee’s workin’ in Grand Manan.”
What’s ee at over der?”
“Salmon tanks. A great big contract. Dey doesn’t come ’ome every weekend, takes too long. Dey’d radder put in de time workin’, an’ finish up sooner.”
And once Josse was gone:
“Well, der might still be some money in de fish business after all.”
1438.85.6
The Stock Market
To adhere (or not to adhere) to something. To a theory, for example. The notion of adherence. Of adherences. Something that sticks, that irritates. What do I mean, exactly? I don’t know. To not always know where something is going to end up, though you take pains to imagine (take pains, take pain). Yes, at times, I’m pained, the idea pains me. To save (again this notion of insufficiency, of loss) or to spare (i.e., to handle with care, caringly, with skill) time and worry, I take the gamble of agreeing with what I’ll end up doing, saying, writing. I endorse in advance what will come. A writer’s religion.
1439.124.8
Religion
It may have been the change in routine — eating supper in his pyjamas? — that made Étienne forget the shattered vase. Or was it the accident of the vase that had subliminally modifed the experience of the bath, so that before getting in, Étienne had bent over, examined his toenails carefully, and shouted out to his father in the kitchen:
“Takes a long time, don’t it Dad?”
1440.93.3
Time
CHAPTER 11
It is because the world is not done that literature is possible.
1441.144.11
Epigraphs
Roland Barthes,
“Kafka’s Reply”, France-Observateur, 1960
Terry didn’t understand:
“Only ’tis written Tuck Tape in big black letters on de roll! Luh . . .”
Carmen knew it all too well, except that:
“I’m only saying, that’s not what the hardware folks call it. To them, ’tis tek tape.”
Examining the package more closely, Terry read the more or less readable fine print on the inside of the roll of tape.
“Aha! De company’s called Canadian Technical Tape. Dat must be de reason dey’s callin’ it tek tape.”
1442.79.1
Oddities
He showed Carmen the roll, pointed to the fine print. Carmen read it, only because it was easier to read it than not to read it, and raised her eyebrows:
“What’s certain is that there’s not a whole lot of logic in their system.”
1443.114.10
Inventions
Along with the fishing hook, other simple machines include the inclined plane, the wedge, the lever, the winch, and the wheel.
“Me, I’ll quit de day someone uses the adapted En
glish word buyé to tell me they bought something.”
“You’ll never quit.”
. . .
1444.47.12
Yielding
goatee, foldaway, topinambour, turpitude, butcher’s bill, justaucorps, serpentine, parapet.
1445.67.2
Terry’s Notebooks
Bent over, perfectly still and quiet, Chico and Catherine scanned the river bottom, waiting.
“’Tisn’t easy, but it’s possible.”
Chico wanted very badly to succeed.
“Hide your hand a little deeper in the sand, but without stirring it up, so the water stays clear.”
The minnows came and went without the slightest hint of stopping. Great patience was required.
“Der ticklin’ me toes.”
“Me too. It’s as though they were nibbling at me.”
After another little while, Catherine gave it a try, yanking her hand suddenly up and out of the water. Chico watched the water and mud drip until there was nothing left, and no fish. They waited a few minutes for the water to clear and for the river bottom to reappear before beginning again.
“One day, I caught three.”
On his first try, Chico, too, failed to catch a black sucker. Fortunately, it was such a beautiful day that they didn’t mind waiting for the water to clarify, and the schools of fish to return.
“Are de wee ones easier to catch dan de big ones?”
“I don’t think so.”
. . .
“Most folks called them minnows when I was a girl, but we called them barbels.”
. . .
. . .
“Me grandad used to say dat, too.”
“Is that right?”
“Ee’d say: ‘Haul yer ass in ’ere, ya bottom feedin’ barbel!”
Chico’s imitation of his grandfather amused Catherine, but the boy’s past was no laughing matter.
“Hun! That doesn’t sound very nice . . .”
Chico confirmed her impression: