Everybody Wants to Rune the World: A Happily Everlasting World Novel (Bewitchingly Ever After Book 2)

by Mandy M. Roth

  Yesterday morning, Virginia had been out front on a ladder, cleaning the windows of Runes, when the ladder felt as if it were ripped out from under her by an unseen force. One second she’d been on the top step with a bucket of water, cleaning the window, and the next she was flat on her back on the ground, with a bucket of sudsy water dumped all over her and a squeegee still in hand.

  To make matters worse, the entire ordeal had occurred in front of Sigmund. The man she had done her very best to avoid since his arrival. The man who stirred things in her she wasn’t ready to explore. The man who barely said three words to her. He pretty much glanced at her and then hurried off as if the very sight of her repulsed him.

  Since he lived at the bed-and-breakfast across the street from Runes, he’d just happened to be home, having his morning cup of coffee on the porch, when she’d wiped out. Much to his credit and her dismay, he had come running to assist. He’d started to help her up, only to stare down at her, his eyes widening, his cheeks staining quickly with pink.

  It had taken Virginia a moment to realize why.

  The bucket of water had caused her shirt to become see-through.

  Sigmund had closed his eyes tight, grabbed hold of her forearm, and yanked her up so hard and fast that he’d all but tossed her in the other direction, only to catch her against his muscular frame. He then ran off, leaving her standing there.

  To top it off, Headless Hank had been on one of his morning jogs and had “seen” the whole thing—however it was the local barber saw things when his head wasn’t attached to his body (which was more often than one would think). By noon, the small-town rumor mill had Virginia and Sigmund having a torrid meet-up in front of the restaurant. By the time the dinner crowd had rolled in, she was having Sigmund’s love child.

  She’d been mortified when news of it all reached her, and she’d been extra sure to go out of her way to avoid Sigmund. Not that she had to work too hard at it, considering he seemed to be winning a gold medal in the sport of avoidance.

  “Why, hello there, Virginia.”

  Stepping back slightly, Virginia turned to find Betty, dressed head to toe in baby blue. She was holding a brown bag up close to her chest with both hands. It was late for Betty to be out, and she was never left to wander alone. When she did, anything was likely to happen.

  Glancing around, Virginia looked for Howie, who nearly always accompanied her on her walks. He was nowhere to be seen. “Is Morgan with you?”

  “Oh no, dear,” said Betty, grinning like a small child. “The last I saw her, she was comforting Howie. The van here scares him. It’s so…happy and colorful. You know how it is with that one.”

  Virginia cringed. “Sorry. I think Petey mentioned that to me once. He said it’s why he normally keeps the van parked down near Leviathan. So Howie doesn’t see it nonstop when he looks out a window from Hells Gate.”

  Betty continued to hold the medium-size brown paper bag up close to her chest. “Is that food for the wedding reception?”

  “Someone is getting married?” asked Virginia. “I hadn’t heard. Who is it? Please don’t tell me that Axel and Fawnia set a date.”

  The were-unicorn and pixie had been having an on-again, off-again relationship for the greater part of a year. It was off more than it was on, and the pair was known to have arguments in public. A lot of them had to do with the fact Axel was a unicorn. By nature, that breed of shifters was somewhat egotistical. Pixies were normally the opposite, but even poor Fawnia, who was sweet as could be, got fed up with Axel’s shenanigans from time to time.

  Betty giggled. “No. They tried to have a quick wedding the other day. That didn’t work out. For the best.”

  “Then who is getting married and having a reception?” asked Virginia. Normally, she was fairly in the loop on what was happening around town.

  Betty appeared confused. “Why, you are, dear.”

  Virginia nearly laughed. “No. I’m not getting married. I’m not even dating anyone.”

  Betty looked off in the distance, toward the water. “He thinks you are.”

  “Who does?” asked Virginia.

  “Darrell,” she said evenly.

  “Betty, I’m not dating Darrell. At least I don’t think I am,” she said. “And we certainly aren’t getting married.”

  Betty squeaked with laughter. “Oh dear, no. I never said you were marrying him. I said he thinks you’re getting married soon. You’re marrying the other boy.”

  Since the demon was known to get easily confused, Virginia merely smiled and nodded. “Oh, the other one. Right. I nearly forgot. Yes. That one is who I’m marrying.”

  Betty nodded and lifted the brown bag some before glancing around, seeming a bit shifty. “Want to cook these into what you’re serving at the reception? I was planning to use them for a dish for my family reunion, but you’re such a dear. I’m willing to make an exception.”

  “You’re having a family reunion?” asked Virginia.

  Betty grinned, but something was off with it. It never reached her eyes. “I will be very soon if the boy wears it.”

  “Wears what?” asked Virginia. “Please tell me you didn’t make anyone a finger necklace…again.”

  Betty stilled. “Luc said I’m not allowed to make jewelry from zombie parts anymore. He says it smells after too long. He might be right.”

  “W-what’s in the bag?” asked Virginia, positive she didn’t really want to know.

  “Just a little something I picked up on my walk tonight,” said Betty, heading for the street. “I should be getting back. Bob will worry. You know how he is.”

  Virginia watched Betty head right up to the front door of Hells Gate. She considered going over to find out what was in the bag but knew Betty was in good hands. Morgan and Bob would look after the older woman.

  Virginia focused on the van and the food once more. There was little doubt in her mind that she’d made too much food for the event, but she didn’t care. Cooking was something she’d always been gifted at, and people seemed to come from far and wide to eat what she made. Her mother and grandmother liked to credit her witch side—the side she’d inherited from them. Virginia had never embraced that part of herself to the extent her little sister did.

  Missi ran the family’s magic shop in town, and seemed to live and breathe everything to do with magic and the mystical. She had been mated for just over six months to Curt. The man had actually arrived in town in the same hippie van Virginia was currently loading with food.

  Virginia couldn’t stop the small laugh that came from her as she tried to imagine what Curt had looked like riding in the van. He was a city slicker. A man who came from money. Virginia’s father liked to refer to Curt as flashy, but it was only in jest.

  Her dad liked the man, a lot.

  Curt was good to Missi and loved her dearly. The home he was having built for their new life together was located behind the magic shop, on the plot of land Barnebas had sorely wanted but now understood he was never going to get, and was nearly done. They had plans to be moved in before the arrival of the baby.

  It was still hard to imagine being an aunt, but Virginia found her excitement growing with each passing day. Though she wasn’t sure Missi was as thrilled with her as of late. Especially not since Virginia had given her a book of potential dangers to a baby in seemingly mundane situations and locations. It had covered everything from common household toxins to boating and water safety. The best part of it all was the book had been written by a supernatural, so half of it was devoted to the paranormal threats one wouldn’t normally think of.

  Curt had devoured the reading material and, from what Virginia’s mother had said, was currently making Missi’s life unbearable as he raced around attempting to babyproof everything.

  Twice in the past week, their mother and grandmother had stopped Missi from cursing her husband—again. She’d done as much to the man within the first five minutes of meeting him.

  That also gave Virginia’s father
fodder when it came to teasing Curt.

  Of course, York and Louis also seemed to join in on the playful ribbing of Curt. They had given Missi a voodoo doll of him for the baby shower.

  It would have been extra funny had it not been legit. They’d had a local voodoo priestess make it without telling her who and what it was for.

  Missi had squeezed it while laughing, and poor Curt bent and fell over onto the floor, looking as if he’d gotten kicked in the gut. He’d taken it like a champ though. He’d also carefully taken the doll for safekeeping, knowing his wife’s hormones weren’t exactly working in his favor with as pregnant as she was.

  Smart.

  Or Missi might have spent her days poking the doll with a pin, with all of Curt’s babyproofing.

  If memory served, tonight was boys’ night, which Missi always looked forward to, since it meant Curt was out with the guys. They were probably at Howlers at that very moment but would be wrapping things up before long.

  Chapter Ten

  The sound of whistling caught Virginia’s attention. It took her a second to recognize the whistling was to a well-known song from The Beatles. The song was about an octopus and a garden. And there was only one thing she knew that whistled older songs and had a thing for anything it considered classic rock.

  Missi’s familiar—Winston.

  She looked for the source of the noise and spotted the large parrot sitting on top of the van. It was bobbing its head and it kept whistling the song.

  She eyed the parrot. “You little escape artist. Does your mother know you’re out here?”

  It ignored her and kept whistling.

  She snorted. “Winston, you need to go home. Mommy will send Daddy out to hunt for you—again. Poor Curt. That man has learned the town and every back street from chasing you down all the time.”

  Winston squawked, and then flew off in the direction of the magic shop.

  Virginia turned to head back into the restaurant for another load but heard something of substantial size splashing near the water’s edge. Runes sat right along the waterfront. It had a large back seating area that was actually built out and over the water.

  The compulsion to investigate the noise came over her, and Virginia found herself heading in that direction. She heard the noise again and slowed her pace slightly, her imagination running wild.

  “Winston, you better not have doubled back. I don’t want to explain to Missi that you became fish food,” she said loudly.

  A nervous laugh escaped her as she realized she was having yet another conversation with a parrot. She went through the small wooden gate that opened to the back patio area.

  Another splash came, and she actually stiffened and stepped back.

  If her siblings saw her acting so jumpy, they’d never let her live it down. York, the older of the twins, would have a field day. He spent most of his life on the water, or at least he had until the curse had fallen on all of them. Now every time he tried to set foot on one of the large fishing vessels that he operated, they suffered a malfunction.

  For the sake of everyone involved, York had found himself beached, for lack of a better word.

  Sigmund had taken over day-to-day operations for York with the help of Petey. They were handling matters, but York was driving everyone batty since he had no outlet for his excessive energy.

  If he didn’t find his mate soon and get the curse off his head, Virginia and her siblings were likely to get a voodoo doll of him made.

  The splashing sounded again, and Virginia went to the edge of the patio. She leaned over the rail slightly to get a better view.

  One second, she was staring down at still water, and the next there was a huge eye looking back at her.

  A massive tentacle came whipping up and out of the water, right at her. It came to a rest on the railing, close to her, just shy of actually touching her.

  Screaming was an option, but she’d spent her life being conditioned for the unexpected. And this was certainly unexpected.

  Do not panic.

  Hedgewitch Cove was far from normal, so sea creatures weren’t out of the realm of reason. With a slow, measured breath, she stared down at the creature. The thing looked a lot like an octopus and a giant squid had mixed together and spit out something bigger than either could hope to be. It was a deep red color in some places but looked almost purple in others. It was an oddly beautiful color combination.

  While she’d never actually seen a kraken in person, a sinking feeling in her gut said this was one. Not just any kraken either (as if there was a run on them or something).

  The last she’d heard from York, Sigmund had gotten a good handle on his shifter side. If what she was staring at was actually a kraken, she wasn’t so sure his handle was as good as everyone thought. The eye looking up at her was emerald green. The same color as Sigmund’s eyes.

  If he was losing control again, he could hurt someone without meaning to. What he’d done back in Everlasting weighed on him, to the point he’d not wanted to go back. From what her sister had told her, Sigmund had even gone so far as to recently sell his home back there. If he was losing control again, and someone ended up hurt or dead, he might want to get far away from Hedgewitch Cove.

  The idea made her chest tighten.

  “Sigmund?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

  The tentacle near her tightened on the railing, making it crack and creak. A small portion of her worried the sea creature might rip the entire back deck off, pulling her into the water with it. As much as she didn’t want to think Sigmund would hurt her, she’d heard York talk about how hard it was to maintain some semblance of control over his shark side in the water. It had to be even worse for Sigmund.

  Her heart ached for him.

  Something gold and shiny in the water near the kraken caught her attention. It was hard to make out what the item might be, but for a second, she could have sworn it was a gold coin.

  Just then, she caught sight of Arnold walking down the pier, ringing his bell, as he wore his sign around his neck.

  The ringing caught the creature’s attention, and it began to draw away from Virginia.

  Without hesitation, she reached out and put her hand on the tentacle, ignoring the slimy feeling, her gaze locking on the beast. The urge to hum took hold of her, and she gave in, despite having spent her life going out of her way to avoid doing so around other people for fear of what might happen.

  The creature stilled, and she began to sing softly. The song choice was odd but felt strangely right.

  “Jolene” by Dolly Parton.

  It wasn’t one she could ever recall having sung before, yet the words came easily to her. She caressed the tentacle as she continued to sing, wanting it to stay with her and far from Arnold and his bell, which was starting to sound a lot like a bell announcing dinner rather than the pending end of the world.

  If the man didn’t stop ringing it soon, his end might very well come in the form of a kraken.

  She couldn’t let that happen.

  She kept singing, and it took her a second to recognize the feeling of magic in the air around her.

  Someone suddenly joined in during the chorus of the song, singing along with her, causing Virginia to gasp and spin around fast. She stopped singing as she found Petey standing there. He had his thumbs hooked under his suspenders and was tapping a booted foot, looking upward as he belted out the song about as off-pitch as one could get.

  In fact, it was downright painful.

  He finished out the song, looked at her, and grinned. “Great song. I was on my way back to the inn, looking for Sigmund, who should have already beat me back there, and saw you loading Sunshine. Figured Sig might be over here, helping you get all the good stuff to where it’s headed. You haven’t seen him, have you? He left the bar before me. I can’t find him anywhere.”

  She tensed at the mention of Sigmund.

  Petey stared past her. “Oh, would you look at that? He is here.”


  Virginia squeaked at the confirmation of what she’d already suspected. It was a kraken—and it was Sigmund.

  Petey shook his head, appearing confused. “Not sure how Sigmund expects to help load up the van with food and get it anywhere like that. Hmm, maybe he’s thinking that he has more arms that way. He can carry more then. Smart. That one is always thinking. Real smart boy. Always has been. Likes to read. Heard you like to read too. That right?”

  She nodded, too wrapped up in the fact Sigmund was in shifted form to think much beyond that.

  Petey grinned. “You know, his aunt, who is like a mother to him, is named Jolene. Sweet of you to sing that song to him.”

  Gasping, her hand tightened on the tentacle. She’d picked a song that meant something to Sigmund?

  She looked over her shoulder and down into the water at him.

  Petey approached and leaned over the rail. He let out a low whistle. “I forgot just how big you are like this, Bails. Hey, what do you say you let me reel you in? I can count you as a catch then. You’ve got to be what? A good twenty feet or more? That would win me the biggest catch for sure. Ernest wants to count his brother-in-law in snake form, fine. I’ll count you. Question, can you see in the water without your glasses on?”

  Virginia was at a loss for words.

  Petey stared down at Sigmund. “Sig, I like you, and I know you want to help Virginia load up Sunshine, but you’re not allowed to drive Sunshine unless you have two hands and two feet. I’m not gonna have Walden impounding my baby because the law about no driving with tentacles is still on the books here in town.”

  “There’s a law about not driving with tentacles?” asked Virginia.

  Petey gave her a sideways look that said he was questioning her sanity. “Of course there is. What kind of town do you take Hedgewitch Cove for? Safety first, mythological creatures second.”

  She simply blinked.

  “Got anything else you want me to load into the van?” he asked, as if it was no big deal his friend was currently in the form of a kraken.