A Sincere Warning About The Entity In Your Home

by Jason Arnopp

  He would attach himself to whoever next slept in the vicinity.

  For the majority of patients, his attack would be fatal.

  “And count to five for me, please,” murmured the anaesthetist. “One… two…”

  “Stop!” I said, “Please stop.”

  He frowned. “Now, we talked about this. The needle’s already in, if that’s your concern…”

  “No, just take it out. Please, take it out.”

  I sat bolt upright, terrified that the anaesthetic might already be coursing through me.

  The guy sighed, as if he really didn’t need this today.

  There followed a lengthy debate between the anaesthetist, the surgeon and me. It was difficult and delicate, because I was unable to voice the real reasons behind my argument. They were amazed I wanted this option, given my rampant tomophobia, but eventually they caved. They allowed me to have a double-lung transplant without general anaesthesia.

  It was a horrific prospect for anyone. For me, truly unimaginable. I just kept telling myself, over and over, that it couldn’t possibly be as bad as knowing I was responsible for a string of unexplained future deaths in that operating theatre. Or living a short, unhappy life being drained by an evil apparition.

  Unsuccessfully striving to stay calm, I found myself hooked up to a machine which created a mechanical bypass outside my body. I had seen this thing employed many times, but never expected to feel it pumping my own heart and lungs. I tried to convince myself this wasn’t happening: it was just a machine, unconnected to me.

  A serious epidural and some strategically-placed nerve blocks thankfully kept most pain at bay. I listened to music through headphones and kept my eyes shut tight. Nevertheless, I was aware of certain heinous moments. I cried out as the surgeon made an enormous incision across my chest. As my lungs were lifted from the open cavity, my eyelids fluttered and I half-saw them sitting in someone’s gloved hands.

  These glistening, gelatinous bags of dark grey flesh.

  It took whatever reserves of mental strength I had left to stop myself having a panic attack.

  Whenever my brain screamed “Let me out!” I had to calm it down, over and over. I would play the same song over and over, trying to memorise all the lyrics. Focusing on every word, every damn syllable. I would think about Dimitri Vsevolod, who must have endured the same thing, perhaps even on this same operating table. Anything which took my mind off the fact that surgeons were meticulously installing someone else’s lungs inside me.

  Then came the very worst moment of all.

  Even with my eyelids screwed shut, I suddenly saw twin circles of blue.

  Sickly blue light.

  They winked into existence, then drew closer and closer…

  Josef was there.

  I balked and squirmed, prompting hands to hold me still. Even over the music in my headphones, I heard people say, “Relax!”

  Tears filled my eyes and my voice came out as a wail. “Oh God, he’s found me, Josef’s found me, please get rid of him. Please.”

  Those blue lights continued to close in.

  I had made a terrible mistake. The new lungs had changed nothing. Waves of dismay crashed into me as my plans toppled.

  Someone gently tugged a headphone away from my left ear. “No one’s here,” said a soothing voice. “We’re almost done but we need you to hold still, okay?”

  I peeped cautiously upwards, dreading what I’d see.

  Two assistants loomed over me, each holding a pen-like torch. Held a couple of inches apart, these devices emitted light with a blue tinge, shining into my open chest for the surgeon’s benefit.

  I carried on sobbing. This time through sheer relief at my mistake.

  After that, the rest of the seven-hour procedure was a breeze.

  That night, I slept in an intensive care unit, with fresh lungs. Josef was incarcerated back home, unable to track me. I was off the grid. To all intents and purposes, as dead as my old lungs.

  And for what felt like several days straight, I enjoyed the sleep of the dead.

  I will leave you shortly, my friend, to think about this letter and no doubt study it many times.

  You have a great deal to consider. Even though I have handed you the solution on a plate, it is clearly an extreme measure and, unlike me, you may not have sufficient privilege to draw upon in order to make it happen.

  Once again: you will never find me. If you do attempt to track me down, with the intention of inflicting Josef back upon me, or exacting revenge, I solemnly swear that I will take drastic action just as Vsevolod might, had I pushed him too far. You may also be able to guess which hospital I have been talking about, but I warn you not to enquire there. You have nothing more to gain from discovering my identity. I have told you everything and been more than generous.

  You now possess information which I have not divulged to anyone else on Earth. Do not abuse it.

  Having conducted further research, I now know that some of Josef’s past victims did not realise what was happening to them for a whole decade or even two. Perhaps they never realised until their premature deaths, simply taking their lethargy for granted as Josef and his inner demon used them as human air-tanks. Everyone has different constitutions and levels of alertness.

  Even if you have yet to notice Josef in your home, I implore you to act quickly.

  It is already too late to move somewhere else. Josef will only follow. As you have seen, whenever you fall asleep anywhere other than your own bed, he will come to you, as relentless and inexorable as nightfall.

  My best advice when it comes to dealing with Josef? Do not resist him.

  This will seem counter-intuitive, but please understand. Deprive Josef of the oxygen he craves and he will only draw more when he gets the chance, just as the human body stores more fat than usual when it believes it faces starvation. If driven to extremes he may become demonic, paralyse you and drain you of life altogether, whether by accident or design. As you will already have gathered, you must never attempt to touch the phantom’s throat.

  I recommend purchasing a tank of pure oxygen and using it at regular intervals, day and night. I did not have the presence of mind to do so while cursed, but wish I had thought of this. After being awoken by an attack from the spirit, take a hit from the tank. In the morning, take one hit of the stuff for every hour you have slept.

  Exercise regularly, while you still have the strength. This is vital. Eat well, with a particular focus on carbohydrates, which assist the body’s ability to transfer oxygen to cells. If you smoke, give up at once, by whatever means available. Try to keep alcohol to a bare minimum (Josef’s attacks will worsen hangovers, making them more incapacitating than you ever thought possible.) Caffeine and Ibuprofen will be your friends. You may often dream of the colour blue, which I ascribe to the wretched hue of the spirit’s eyes. It is almost certainly a sign of him feeding while you sleep.

  If you would understandably rather not see Josef, wear a thick eye mask while attempting to sleep. Never look yourself in the eye in reflections for more than five seconds. I believe Josef naturally dwells in glass and various reflective surfaces. Perhaps, back in 1898, the child’s spirit leapt into the nearest mirror when his father dispatched him.

  I have come to think that Josef only latches onto new people when he has no-one. Tom and I must have been unlucky enough to sleep at the same time, on our first night at that damn property. If there are two or more of you, you could try a ‘shift’ rota. One of you sleeps, while the other keeps watch. When Josef materialises, he can be hounded away. I never had a chance to properly try this. While it might offer your health a much-needed break, it may soon inflate the entity’s frustration to critical mass. Use with caution.

  So. You now know what you ultimately have to do, if you are ever to be free of this lurking parasite. I pray that you have sufficient reserves of bravery and fortitude in order to see the process through.

  I sincerely hope that one day, your new lungs
‘take’, as mine did, severing Josef’s link to you. I am living proof that it is possible. My health will never be what it was, but I am at least working again and enjoying my life as much as possible. In fact, I am probably enjoying life more than ever. This letter certainly feels like a huge weight off my shoulders.

  When lying vulnerable on that bed in the thick of the small hours – sensing movement among the shadows, as an arcane ambience sours the room – you must find inner strength. Try not to fear these nights too intensely. Bodily tension will only hasten the rise of fatigue. Hypertension may even prove fatal.

  Goodbye my friend and good luck.

  Best wishes,

  ‘John Smith’

  PS… One last thing. You may have noticed an unexplained, pungent odour in the property. There is a reason for this.

  While being monitored in hospital, I somehow persuaded my surgeon to carry out one last errand for his money. He took my former lungs to my former home – your home now –and hid them under the floorboards. I am sorry but he never told me in which room.

  He reported that the place looked “trashed” – no doubt a result of a deprived Josef turning violent. All mirrors and most windows had been broken, and would need regular repair over the next few months.

  Concealing my lungs in the property was an added precaution of mine, admittedly influenced by my paranoid, prescription drug-addled state, to doubly ensure Josef stayed within those walls, psychically tethered to the dead organs.

  At least until someone new slept there and he latched onto that person instead.

  Someone like you.

  Please forgive me, my friend, and dispose of my lungs at will.

  You have been reading…

  A SINCERE WARNING ABOUT THE ENTITY IN YOUR HOME

  by

  Jason Arnopp

  If you would like a unique version of this story to be snail-mailed to you as a personalised physical letter, read about the Paper Edition at ScaryLetter.com

  First published in the UK by Retribution Books, 2012

  Copyright © Jason Arnopp, 2012. All Rights Reserved

  www.jasonarnopp.com

  Cover design © Jason Arnopp and JMR Higgs, 2012. All Rights Reserved

  The right of Jason Arnopp to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

  All characters and events in this publication, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Jason Arnopp is a novelist and scriptwriter.

  He wrote the 2011 horror feature film Stormhouse, which world-premiered at the Edinburgh International Film Festival that year. He also script-edited urban thriller The Man Inside (2012), which starred Peter Mullan, Michelle Ryan, David Harewood and Ashley ‘Bashy’ Thomas.

  He is the author of the acclaimed horror novella Beast In The Basement.

  Arnopp has written various official works of fiction for the world of British TV series Doctor Who, in the form of prose, audio books and audio plays. These include the audio books Doctor Who: The Gemini Contagion (2011) and The Sarah Jane Adventures: Deadly Download (2010), both published by AudioGO. In 2006, he wrote further official tie-in fiction with the novel Friday The 13th: Hate-Kill-Repeat for Black Flame.

  A former journalist, Arnopp is the author of the non-fiction book How To Interview Doctor Who, Ozzy Osbourne And Everyone Else (2011).

  Arnopp runs a website here, has an official Facebook page here and can be found on Twitter here. Since March 2015 he has offered a Script Notes service for writers.

  As you can see, he’s an expert at talking about himself in the third person.

  BY THE SAME AUTHOR

  BEAST IN THE BASEMENT: A NOVELLA

  “I reached a certain point and wanted to stop and applaud my Kindle. On a tube train” – SEBASTIAN PATRICK, writer/editor of the official RED DWARF website.

  "When the biggest turn in the story occurred, I actually exclaimed (out loud with great exuberance), ‘Holy shit, that's so fucking clever!’” – MICH MASOCH, CHS REGIME

  This psychological suspense-thriller is set in a big house in the English countryside, where a recently bereaved and increasingly unstable author toils over a book which will close the trilogy of best-selling Jade Nexus fantasy novels.

  Speculation and rumour are rife among hardcore Jade Nexus fans that their heroine will die at the book’s conclusion - a possibility against which they loudly protest via social media as the release date nears.

  How do you deal with grief under such intense pressure? How do you cope with distractions from your work such as a violent intruder, panicked messages from your agent and a potential love interest moving into the cottage across the field? Far worse than any of those problems, what do you do about the Beast in your basement?

  Beast In The Basement is a contemporary horror story about obsession, revenge, censorship, blame culture and personal responsibility. A dark and twisted tale with a kick like a mule, from the writer of A Sincere Warning About The Entity In Your Home.

  Read it fast before someone spoilers you!

  MORE PRAISE FOR BEAST IN THE BASEMENT

  “This is enormous spooky fun and reads like lightning!” – JENNY COLGAN, author of The Good, The Bad And The Dumped, Meet Me At The Cupcake Cafe and Doctor Who: Dark Horizons (as JT Colgan)

  “This short sharp shock of weird horror cuts right to the quick. Writing about writers is tricky, but Arnopp handles it with beastly aplomb” – CHUCK WENDIG, author of Blackbirds, Mockingbird and Zer0es

  “Jason Arnopp snares his poor readers using inch-perfect plotting and compulsive suspense so that, once hooked, he can inflict his own dark brand of please-no horror on their unprepared psyches. Beast In The Basement is highly recommended for anyone who doesn’t realise how much an author can love and hate his readers at the same time. Hell’s teeth, what's the matter with the man?” – JMR HIGGS, author of The Brandy Of The Damned and I Have America Surrounded: The Life Of Timothy Leary

  “A wonderful, creepy tale that winds the tension extremely tight, culminating in an explosive ending that will certainly make your jaw drop” – THE RELUCTANT GEEK website

  “A gripping, gruelling horror story that's the perfect length for reading in a single sitting. Just don’t read it before bedtime, especially if you have a basement” – EL DINK website

  “A deliciously dark little slice of horror, touching on madness, grief, guilt and the power of the written word” – BYTE THE BOOK website

  “While the writing is lovely, the story itself is an absolute belter. It will have you guessing and double-guessing yourself right until the end. This is a writer on top of his game” – RICHARD DINNICK, author of Doctor Who: The Rings Of Ikira and Doctor Who: The Underwater War

  “Beast In The Basement is the rarest of things, a story that manages to keep you guessing right up until the end. Arnopp obviously delights in messing with his readership’s heads... I really can’t get enough of writing like this” – THE ELOQUENT PAGE website

  “The suspense is palpable and almost cinematic at times, the descriptions of some scenes painting themselves on the mind’s eye with HD clarity. This is a taut tale of the some of the worst excesses of human paranoia that will leave its mark on the reader long after they have finished the last page” – CHRIS LIMB, THE BRITISH FANTASY SOCIETY website

  For full details on Beast In The Basement, visit: HorrorNovella.com

  ALSO BY THE SAME AUTHOR

  HOW TO INTERVIEW DOCTOR WHO, OZZY OSBOURNE AND EVERYONE ELSE

  “This guide to interviewing is tremendous fun, with some genuine insight into the whole process. Fascinating stuff, and properly amusing too. Brilliant!” – TOM SPILSBURY, editor of Doctor Who Magazine

  “With a great sense of humour and a sharp ear for the telling quote, Jason Arnopp is an interviewer who always gets the goods.
Read and learn” – ANDREW HARRISON (Editor of Q and former Editorial Director of Mixmag and Smash Hits).

  “Boy, I wish this book had been around when I started out. You can buy it as a PDF direct from the author for less than the cost of most magazines, and I’d advise new journalists to do so” – CATHERINE BRAY, editor of Film4.com

  Want to learn how to interview people as a journalist?

  Maybe you’re curious about the methods journalists use when interviewing people.

  Maybe you're a pro in need of a refresher course, perhaps with a few new thoughts thrown in.

  Either way, the acclaimed non-fiction ebook How To Interview Doctor Who, Ozzy Osbourne And Everyone Else will be your guide!

  Drawing on 23 years of experience and with over 1000 interviews behind him, Jason Arnopp aims to tell you everything he knows about interrogating the great and good. While Arnopp has spent these decades interviewing celebrities and rock stars like Ozzy Osbourne and Doctor Who star Matt Smith for the likes of Heat, Doctor Who Magazine, Q, SFX and Kerrang!, the vast majority of the principles described here will also apply to quizzing a Marrow Of The Year winner for your local newspaper.

  Written in a engaging, conversational style, How To Interview... packs in over 28,000 words of practical wisdom. You’ll learn about the craft of interviewing, all the way from deciding how you’ll record your interviews, to devising questions, to dealing with various types of interviewee, to writing and editing your article.