Ambitious Love

by Rosie Harris

  Despite Maria’s prophesy about a strike pending, Christmas 1920 was a bumper one for them. It seemed as if people were determined to throw off the lingering gloom from the war days and to enjoy themselves and hope for better things to come in the new year.

  By the time they closed the stall late on Christmas Eve both of them were so tired that they told each other they intended to lie in the next morning until midday.

  ‘That’s the one good thing about Christmas Day falling on a Saturday, you get both Saturday and Sunday to recover from the hectic rush like we’ve had today,’ Maria sighed exhaustedly.

  ‘We shouldn’t really grumble because we’ve probably done a week’s business in one day,’ Fern reminded her. ‘All the holly wreaths have sold,’ she added, ‘and I won’t have to face another batch of prickly holly for a whole year.’

  ‘Yes, they’ve sold extremely well.’ Maria nodded. ‘In fact, since you did such a good job of making those wreaths, you can do them again next time.’

  They spent a very quiet Christmas. As they’d agreed they didn’t get up until late morning and so they had their celebration roast chicken with all the trimmings later in the day.

  ‘You really are a splendid cook, Maria,’ Fern congratulated her as they cleared everything away and washed up. ‘I’ve eaten so much that I won’t need another meal for days.’

  ‘That’s good, because I won’t be cooking tomorrow,’ Maria told her. ‘A complete day of rest is what I have in mind.’

  ‘Why don’t you have Monday off as well?’ Fern suggested. ‘I’m sure I can do the station as well as the stall at the Hayes.’

  ‘If you can manage the stall on your own, then I will,’ Maria agreed. ‘There’s not much point trying to sell flowers outside the station. The sort of men who buy buttonholes won’t be going to work and most of the other people will be coming back from visiting friends or family and they won’t have any money left over for flowers.’

  ‘That’s settled, then,’ Fern agreed. ‘I’ll be as quiet as a mouse when I get up so as not to disturb you,’ she promised.

  ‘Good. I’ll come along to the stall late afternoon to walk home with you.’

  ‘You don’t need to do that,’ Fern admonished. ‘Surely you trust me not to run off with the takings,’ she said, smiling.

  ‘I trust you, cariad, but I’ve never forgotten what happened to you when I did leave you to look after the money. I don’t want you being attacked again.’

  ‘I think that’s all in the past, don’t you?’ Fern said confidently. ‘I’ve never seen anything of Jake or Alwyn since I moved in here with you so I don’t think we’ll ever have any more trouble from them.’

  Maria’s words echoed in Fern’s head when it came time to close down the stall and Maria still hadn’t turned up as she had promised, to walk home with her.

  There was snow falling and she felt so nervous as she fastened her coat over the bulky purse and wound her thick scarf around her neck to keep out the cold that when Rhodri from the adjacent stall said half jokingly, ‘Do you want me to walk home with you, Fern?’ she readily agreed.

  The moment she did so she regretted it because she saw the eager look on his face. For months he had been trying to persuade her to go out with him and she had steadfastly refused. She knew he had taken a liking to her and she didn’t want to lead him on. Her heart was already taken and all she wanted was for Glanmor to come home so that they could plan their future together.

  ‘I’m only letting you walk with me because this snow is turning into a blizzard,’ she warned him.

  ‘I know, I know, there’s no need for you to be as frosty as the weather.’ He grinned. ‘I only live one street away from you now that you’ve moved into Loudon Square so I’m not putting myself out in any way.’

  ‘I thought Maria was coming to meet me,’ she added as they walked to the tram stop.

  ‘In this weather! She shouldn’t be working at all at her age, she’s not looking at all well, is she?’ he stated.

  Fern looked at him in surprise. She knew Maria had slowed down in the past few months but she didn’t think she looked ill. Or did she? Fern felt worried. Was she so caught up with her own life that she hadn’t noticed? she wondered.

  ‘Living with her like you do, you probably haven’t noticed it as much as I have,’ Rhodri commented.

  ‘No, that’s true,’ Fern murmured as she looked up at him. ‘I’m surprised you have,’ she added.

  ‘I’ve probably known her a lot longer than you have,’ he said cryptically. ‘I’ve known her all my life and she seemed quite old when I was a little boy.’

  ‘Well, that wasn’t all that long ago,’ she teased.

  ‘I’m twenty-six, a lot older than you, and I’m ready to settle down,’ he told her seriously.

  ‘I hope you find yourself a nice girl, then,’ Fern responded in an equally serious voice.

  ‘Oh, I’ve found one,’ he sighed, ‘but she doesn’t want anything to do with me, except to let me walk her home when it’s snowing.’

  Fern felt uneasy; their banter was going too far and she was sure he was leading up to asking her out again so she was relieved when they reached Loudon Square.

  ‘I’ll come right to the door with you,’ he stated when she paused on the corner and thanked him for seeing her home.

  ‘There’s really no need,’ Fern said firmly.

  ‘I want to see Maria, to wish her a Happy New Year,’ he said stubbornly.

  ‘You can do that when she’s on the stall tomorrow,’ Fern told him abruptly.

  ‘I want to see her tonight,’ he insisted. ‘I want to make sure she’s all right,’ he added as an explanation.

  ‘There’s no need, Rhodri.’ I’ll make sure she is; I promise you.’

  ‘Well, we’re here now so I may as well have a word with her,’ he insisted.

  ‘I thought you said you were quite capable of walking home on your own,’ Maria chided as they entered the flat together.

  ‘We walked together, Mrs Roberts, because it’s snowing quite heavily,’ Rhodri told her. ‘Anyway, I only live in the next street so it wasn’t taking me out of my way.’

  ‘So why haven’t you gone on home, then?’ Maria asked tetchily.

  ‘I wanted to wish you a Happy New Year,’ he said, smiling.

  ‘That’s days away, couldn’t it have waited?’

  ‘I suppose it could have done.’ He shrugged his shoulders. ‘Well, now I’ve done so I’ll be on my way.’

  ‘Thank you for walking with me, Rhodri,’ Fern said with a smile, trying to ease the tension between the three of them.

  As soon as he’d gone she turned to Maria. ‘Did you forget you’d insisted on coming or aren’t you feeling well?’

  ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Maria said crossly. ‘It’s snowing out there and I didn’t want to risk slipping and breaking my leg or my arm or something. Anyway, you’re home now so why the fuss and all the questions?’

  Fern bit her lower lip as she studied Maria. Rhodri was right, she thought worriedly. Maria wasn’t looking well. She was so thin that she looked frail and Rhodri’s remark about her being old made Fern realise how lined Maria’s face was.

  ‘I think Rhodri wanted an excuse to see that you were all right,’ she said gently. ‘He said he thought you didn’t look too well,’ she added tentatively.

  ‘I’m as well as I’ll ever be,’ Maria said as she moved to the table and began rattling the plates as she set them out in readiness for their meal. ‘Now get your hat and coat off or this meal that I’ve spent all day cooking will be ruined.’

  The hot pie made from the leftovers of the chicken and vegetables from Christmas day was both warming and filling and Fern enjoyed every mouthful.

  ‘You go and sit down and I’ll clear everything away,’ Fern volunteered after they’d finished eating.

  ‘Don’t you want to have a mince pie and a cup of tea first?’ Maria asked.

  ‘No, I
’ll do the washing-up first and then we can sit and enjoy that in front of the fire. It will give my dinner a chance to go down and make room for it,’ she added with a laugh as she began collecting up their dirty plates.

  To her surprise, Maria didn’t argue or protest but went straight to her favourite armchair which Fern noticed was pulled right up close to the fire.

  When she finished the washing-up Fern made a pot of tea and carried it in but when she went to hand Maria a cup she noticed that she had already fallen asleep so she put it down on the table without trying to waken her.

  She’d already finished her own drink and was leaning forward to put some more coal on the fire when she noticed that Maria had slumped forward in her chair and was sitting at such an awkward angle that she was in danger of falling out of it. Gently she tried to prop her up into a more comfortable position but realised it was impossible to do so without waking her.

  ‘Maria.’ Gently she shook her arm but there was no response. She tried again but the older woman appeared not to hear her and remained slumped forward.

  Fern felt thoroughly alarmed. Maria was not responding; her face looked crumpled and saliva was drooling from one side of her mouth. She wasn’t sure what to do and wondered if she ought to call someone to help her.

  Struggling desperately, Fern managed to move the armchair with Maria in it away from the fire in case she slid forward. Then she found Maria’s heavy black shawl and wrapped that round her, tucking it well down into the sides of the chair in the hope that it would prevent her falling out.

  She wasn’t sure whom to ask for help. Maria was such a proud, independent woman that Fern was pretty sure that she would hate it if any of the other people in the house saw her in such a stressful condition so, remembering that Rhodri lived only a street away, and that he had great respect for Maria, she pulled on her hat and coat and ran to get him.

  By the time she reached his home in Loudon Place she was breathless. Rhodri looked concerned when she told him what had happened and, without even stopping to pick up his coat, he took her by the arm and hurried her back to Maria’s flat.

  When he saw the state Maria was in he shook his head sadly. ‘She’s had a stroke. We’ll have to get a doctor and if we can’t find one then I’ll go for an ambulance.’

  ‘Surely she isn’t that bad?’ Fern exclaimed worriedly. ‘She cooked us a lovely meal and we’d just finished eating and she was having a rest while I washed up . . .’ her voice petered out as she saw the worried expression on Rhodri’s face.

  ‘Will you be all right here with her if I go and see if the doctor is on duty?’

  ‘Yes, of course I will. You ought to go home first and get your coat, though, Rhodri, or you’ll end up ill as well,’ she advised with a watery smile.

  The waiting time seemed endless. Fern sat holding Maria’s hand and talking to her in the hope that perhaps she was only in a deep sleep and would wake up and ask where her tea was.

  Rhodri was gone for almost half an hour and apart from her heavy breathing there was no movement at all from Maria.

  When she heard the sound of an ambulance siren a shiver went through Fern because it meant that either Rhodri had not been able to get a doctor to come out or else the doctor had ordered an ambulance even without seeing Maria, because he felt she needed to go to hospital.

  Chapter Seventeen

  An hour later, after they’d given all the details they knew about Maria to the admissions clerk at the Cardiff Royal Infirmary, Fern and Rhodri were told to go home and come back again tomorrow.

  ‘Could we see her before we leave?’ Fern pleaded.

  ‘No, I’m afraid not,’ the clerk said briskly. ‘Mrs Roberts has been admitted to Ward Three and is in good care so there is nothing more you can do.’

  As they walked to the tram stop in Newport Road Fern wondered how she was going to manage to look after the flower business on her own until Maria was well again.

  As if reading her thoughts, Rhodri said, ‘Don’t worry about things, I can give you a hand on the stall.’

  ‘That’s kind of you, Rhodri, but you have your own stall to run,’ Fern said, smiling at him gratefully. ‘I’ll have to give up the station pitch; I can’t possibly run both.’

  ‘You could take someone on to help you,’ he suggested.

  ‘Not without asking Maria first,’ Fern said quickly.

  ‘No, I suppose not,’ he agreed. ‘Perhaps we can arrange something, though.’

  Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of the tram. After they had both found seats and the conductor had taken their fares Rhodri asked, ‘Which is the busiest time outside the station? I mean, is it in the morning or the afternoon?’

  ‘In the evenings,’ Fern said quickly, ‘especially at the weekend. Friday night is the busiest because that’s when all the office workers are paid and a lot of the men buy their wives or mothers a bunch of flowers on the way home.’

  ‘Then why not let me look after your stall each evening and you go over to the pitch and keep that going.’

  ‘It’s a great idea, but I couldn’t expect you to do that.’ Fern smiled. ‘You’d be losing business on your own stall, especially on a Friday night, because that’s when you are extra busy. It’s when all the young boys have money in their pockets to buy a new gramophone record or a piece of sheet music.’

  ‘OK, then simply close the stall down early on Fridays, put a notice on it to say where they can find you, and I’ll make a point of redirecting people whenever necessary.’

  ‘I suppose I could do that,’ Fern said thoughtfully. ‘The big problem is that I would have to take the day’s takings with me and I wouldn’t feel safe if I had so much money on me, not after what happened to me a few weeks ago.’

  ‘Then don’t take it with you; leave it with me and I’ll meet you when I close down and walk you home. You do trust me, don’t you Fern?’ he asked when she remained silent.

  ‘Of course I do, Rhodri,’ she said quickly. ‘I’m just mulling it over in my mind.’

  Before they parted Fern agreed to give some thought to Rhodri’s idea. She was anxious to keep things going for Maria.

  ‘It’s the only way you’ll be able to do it,’ Rhodri emphasised, ‘because you can’t be in two places at once.’

  ‘I know, but I want time to think about it,’ Fern argued. She laid a hand on Rhodri’s arm, ‘I really am grateful; for your concern and your offer of help,’ she said quietly.

  His face lit up and the frown that had furrowed his brow vanished. After a moment’s hesitation he leaned forward and rather awkwardly kissed her on her cheek.

  Fern tried not to pull away but she wished he hadn’t done it. She didn’t want any boy except Glanmor touching her, and she suspected that Rhodri’s kiss was more than a show of friendship.

  Although the stall at the Hayes and the pitch outside the station were only a matter of minutes away from each other, as Rhodri had pointed out, she couldn’t be in two places at once so running them both would call for careful planning, Fern thought worriedly.

  The only thing she didn’t like about the plan was that it meant she would have to rely on Rhodri’s help and she was afraid that it was unfair to encourage him to think that she cared for him when all she wanted was to be friends and nothing more.

  She lay awake that night for a long time trying to reason out what to do. In the end she decided that the welfare of Maria’s business was of more importance than her own feelings and unless she did as Rhodri suggested, by the time Maria came out of hospital she might find her financial future was in serious trouble.

  Maria was in hospital for two weeks and by the time she came home again Fern felt exhausted. Rhodri had been a wonderful support but most of the responsibility and organising had fallen on Fern’s shoulders because she was the one who knew what to do, where to buy and how to price and display flowers.

  Maria was very weak and frail. The stroke had left her unable to use her left hand properly.
She had hardly any grip and her arm appeared to be so thin that it looked as if it was withered.

  She was grateful and astonished when Fern told her how she’d managed to keep both the stall and pitch running, and amazed when she heard how Rhodri had cooperated and helped.

  ‘He’d never have done all that if he hadn’t taken a real shine to you, cariad,’ she remarked shrewdly. ‘You know, you could do worse than marry a chap like that,’ she added sagely.

  ‘Me marry Rhodri Richards?’ Fern said in a disparaging voice. ‘Never! I’m surprised you even mention it when you know quite well that I’ve promised to wait for Glanmor.’

  ‘Promises are made to be broken,’ Maria pronounced. ‘He’s been away for a long time and you’ve no idea when he’s coming back. He might never return to Cardiff.’

  ‘Oh he will,’ Fern said confidently. ‘You’ll see – any day now, I expect,’ she added hopefully.

  ‘You can’t be sure about that, cariad. You’ve not heard a word from him in a while, have you?’

  ‘No, that’s true enough, but then how can he get in touch with me when he doesn’t know where I am living? He’s probably written lots of times but the letters have gone to Margaret Street, because he doesn’t know that I’ve moved in with you.’

  ‘Well, that’s true enough,’ Maria admitted.

  ‘In fact,’ Fern went on, her voice full of self-pity, ‘he probably thinks I’ve let him down and gone off with someone else because I haven’t replied to any of his letters.’

  ‘Duw anwyl, do you always have to look on the black side of everything?’ Martha said crossly.

  Fern didn’t answer; she was too occupied by her own thoughts of how much she missed Glanmor and felt close to tears as she thought he might come home to Margaret Street expecting her to be there to greet him only to be told she’d gone. Because they’d parted on such bad terms Alwyn probably wouldn’t tell him where she was living now.

  Nevertheless, even if she never saw Glanmor again, she still wasn’t interested in marrying Rhodri. He was nice enough and she was grateful for the way he’d helped her, but she thought of him only as a friend and nothing more.