Ambitious Love

by Rosie Harris

  As she strained the potatoes and cut some chunks of bread she could hear them talking. Glanmor was expressing concern that she had lost so much weight and was looking thin and frail.

  ‘I’m getting old, boyo. None of us last for ever and I’ve had one thing after the other. I’ve had the doctor here so many times I’ve lost count and I’ve been in hospital twice.’

  ‘You mean Fern isn’t looking after you as well as she should?’ he joked.

  ‘Oh, she’s been wonderful; she’s looked after me, all right. In fact, I don’t think for one minute I’d be here today if it wasn’t for the way she nursed me back to health. She’s been an absolute wonder even though she’s had troubles of her own.’

  ‘She did mention them briefly when I asked her why she was living with you,’ Glanmor murmured.

  Fern felt uneasy; she didn’t want Maria talking at length about Alwyn and Jake. After all, Alwyn was Glanmor’s mother and for a time, until Glanmor had gone to sea and Jake came into her life, she had been very good to her.

  ‘Right, come on, take your seats,’ she said briskly as she took four hot plates into the living room and arranged them on the table so that she could ladle out the soup. As the savoury smell permeated the room Glanmor sniffed the air appreciatively.

  ‘We really are going to have Maria’s special cawl,’ he exclaimed. ‘There’s absolutely nothing in the world to beat it.’

  ‘So you said before,’ Maria laughed. ‘If it’s all that good, then why has it taken you all this time to come back for a bowl of it?’

  ‘Perhaps the pair of you had better stop jabbering and come and sit at the table before it all goes cold. There’s nothing worse than cold cawl – even Maria’s.’

  ‘Does she always bully you like this, Maria?’ Glanmor teased, smiling across at Fern as he helped Maria out of her armchair and towards the table. ‘Hey!’ He looked around the table in surprise. ‘Were you expecting visitors?’

  As if in answer to his question the door opened and Rhodri burst into the room. ‘Sorry if I’m late. I hope you haven’t been waiting and let the cawl go cold.’

  ‘I’ve dished ours out but you sit down and I’ll fetch yours,’ Fern told him as she hurried back into the kitchen.

  ‘I don’t suppose you two have met.’ Maria beamed. ‘This is Rhodri Richards, he works on the next stall to ours at the Hayes and he has helped Fern so much. I don’t know how she would have managed without him.’

  Chapter Nineteen

  Fern held her breath as the two men shook hands and took stock of each other. They were of similar height but Rhodri was very thin and wiry whilst Glanmor was more solid. Glanmor was so tanned and weather beaten that he looked much stronger and fitter than Rhodri, even though he was the younger of the two men.

  Fern sensed that they seemed to be wary of each other as they shook hands and there was a hint of caution in their voices as they greeted each other.

  As the meal progressed their distrust of each other became even more apparent. Maria tried to draw Glanmor out by asking him to tell them more about his time in Russia but he was very reticent. Rhodri was equally dismissive of what he’d done to help Maria and Fern when she tried talking about that.

  The moment they’d finished eating Rhodri pushed back his chair and stood up. ‘Thanks for the meal, Maria. I have to rush. I’ll see you on the stall tomorrow,’ he said turning towards Fern. ‘Don’t be late,’ he added abruptly.

  Fern bit back the sharp retort she was about to make and merely nodded.

  ‘Rhodri seems to be in a great hurry tonight,’ Maria commented as the door closed behind him.

  ‘Perhaps he is taking his girlfriend out and he doesn’t want to keep her waiting,’ Glanmor commented.

  ‘No, he hasn’t got a girlfriend or anyone else, poor boyo,’ Maria said sadly. ‘Rhodri lives on his own and has done ever since I’ve known him. You’d think a nice-looking chap like that would have found a wife and have settled down and become a family man long before this,’ she added.

  Her remark was met by silence. Fern began collecting up the plates to take them through to the scullery to wash up.

  ‘No,’ she protested as Glanmor started to help, ‘you go and sit by the fire with Maria. I’ll make a pot of tea and bring it in as soon as the kettle boils.’

  As she scraped the leftovers off the plates and then plunged them into hot soapy water, Fern’s mind was in turmoil. She tried to reason out why the two men had been so hostile towards each other. She hoped it was because both of them thought so much of Maria and so were jealous of each other, and not because of their feelings for herself.

  As she brewed the tea and arranged three cups and saucers on a tray ready to take through to the other room she resolved that as soon as she and Glanmor were on their own she would explain the situation more plainly to him. She hoped it would clear the air if she made it clear to him that she’d only accepted Rhodri’s help because it had been an emergency and she’d had no one else to turn to.

  She would also have a word with Maria and ask her to have a quiet word with Rhodri and explain exactly who Glanmor was in the hope that they could all be friends.

  Glanmor still looked rather put out when she took in the tea and although she tried to ask him questions about his long trip the conversation always seemed to come back to the subject of the stall. Maria kept singing Rhodri’s praises and going into details about how helpful he had been and how much he had helped Fern while she had been unable to go to work.

  Fern wondered if she was doing it deliberately or simply not thinking about what she was saying since it was obvious it was information that Glanmor didn’t want to hear. His scowl deepened and in the end he delved into his pocket and brought out his cigarettes. He offered the packet to them and when they both declined he lit up his own cigarette and drew deeply on it.

  Fern watched his face and the tight lines around his mouth slowly softened as he exhaled and relaxed. As their eyes met he managed a smile and once again she resolved to tell him at length how and why Rhodri was treated as a special friend.

  For another hour or so they chatted amiably enough. Glanmor related anecdotes about his trip that drew astonished gasps from Maria. Then she struggled up from her armchair and announced that it was time she was going to bed.

  ‘Don’t be too late, Fern,’ she cautioned. ‘Remember, it’s Saturday tomorrow and that means a long, busy day. Mind you make sure the door is locked after Glanmor leaves before you come to bed. I expect to be seeing a lot more of you, boyo, over the next few weeks,’ she added as she reached the door. ‘We’ve both been lonely without you.’

  ‘Nos da, Maria. Don’t worry, you’ll be seeing me every day while I’m on shore leave,’ he promised. ‘I’ll not only be dropping in on the stall but also coming around in the evenings as well, if that’s all right?’ he added.

  ‘Of course it is,’ she told him with a warm smile. ‘If I’m not working, then I’ll be at home here resting and it would do me good to see you and have a heart-to-heart,’ she added meaningfully.

  ‘You mean you trust Fern to manage the stall all on her own?’ he joked.

  ‘Not completely on her own, Rhodri’s always on hand to keep an eye on things and to give her a hand when she needs it.’

  The smile faded from Glanmor’s face. ‘Yes, of course, I’d forgotten about that.’

  The moment Maria was out of the room Fern said quickly, ‘I want to explain about Rhodri. I don’t think you understand what the situation has been and I don’t want you getting the wrong impression.’

  ‘Whatever makes you think I’m doing that?’

  ‘I’m not sure. Maria does go on about him a lot and how helpful he is; which is true, of course,’ she added quickly.

  ‘So what else is there that I should know?’ he quizzed, his gaze holding hers.

  ‘I’m not sure how much Maria told you while I was out in the kitchen doing the washing-up,’ she said hesitantly and then waited for him to spea
k.

  ‘Well, she’s told me all about her illness; it sounds as though she’s been pretty bad. She also said how much you’d done for her. In fact she couldn’t praise you enough for all your care and attention,’ he added with a warm smile.

  ‘And of course she was bound to mention how much Rhodri did to help us both?’

  ‘Yes.’ He nodded. ‘It seems he’s been a tower of strength but whether it was because of Maria being ill or because he wanted to help you, I wasn’t too sure,’ he added curtly.

  ‘Probably both.’ She smiled gently. ‘Look, Glanmor, there was no way I could have managed both the stall and the pitch on my own; you do understand that, don’t you?’

  Glanmor nodded but he was still frowning. ‘Do you still need his help, though?’ he questioned.

  ‘On Friday afternoons Maria looks after the stall while I do the pitch outside the station. Rhodri keeps an eye on her and helps her if she needs any of the heavy stuff lifting and so on. As a reward, because he won’t accept money for his services, Maria invites him to come back here for his evening meal.’

  Fern crossed over to where Glanmor was sitting and perched herself on the arm of his chair. ‘Why does it worry you so much?’ she asked softly, burying her fingers in his thick hair.

  Looking up he caught her hand and then pulled her forward so that her eyes were on a level with his. ‘Because the pair of you seemed to be so close that I wondered if there was anything going on between you,’ he stated fiercely.

  ‘Glanmor Williams, I do believe you are jealous,’ Fern exclaimed laughingly as she slid down on to his lap, twining her arms round his neck.

  ‘Only if I have cause to be,’ he said, holding her shoulders as her lips sought his.

  ‘There will never be anyone else in the whole world for me except you,’ she breathed softly and this time her lips were on his, conveying their own tale of her longing to be with him.

  Glanmor responded with a passion that both thrilled and frightened her by its intensity. Their need for each other was overwhelming. Gasping, they slid from the chair to the rug in front of the fire.

  He murmured tender words of love and waves of desire flooded over her. He peeled away her clothes and began stroking her body, and as he caressed her breasts her breathing became ragged and she longed for release.

  Her intense reaction to his touch seemed to heighten his own desire and as they consummated their passion Fern felt that it was a blissful culmination of her months of dreaming and desire.

  ‘We shouldn’t have done that, cariad,’ she whispered, nuzzling his neck.

  ‘I’ve thought of nothing else all the time I’ve been away from you,’ Glanmor groaned. He propped himself up on one elbow and lovingly traced the outline of her face with his forefinger. ‘You will marry me?’

  ‘Marry you! Of course I will . . . one day, perhaps next time you come on leave.’

  ‘No, I mean now, right away, we’ve both waited long enough,’ he told her firmly.

  ‘How can I? I’m only seventeen. I would need permission and now Mam’s dead it would probably mean asking Uncle Bryson because he’s my nearest relation.’

  ‘Then go round to Angelina Street tomorrow as soon as you finish work and ask him,’ he said. ‘I suppose I’d better come with you in case he starts being awkward in any way,’ he added rather reluctantly.

  ‘Uncle Bryson would never agree to us marrying each other,’ Fern said worriedly.

  ‘Why ever not?’

  ‘Well,’ she wrinkled her nose, ‘he is your dad, and that means we are first cousins and you know as well as I do that it wouldn’t be considered right for us to marry.’

  Glanmor laughed harshly. ‘I don’t think it would bother him what I did – or what you did, for that matter. It’s only a legal thing. If you don’t want to ask him, or he won’t fill in whatever form it is he has to sign, then we’ll live together and say we’re married.’

  ‘You’ve been away from civilisation for too long,’ Fern laughed. ‘Can you imagine what your mother would say if we did that?’

  ‘She couldn’t say very much since she has that fellow Jake Tomlinson living there with her these days, now could she?’

  Fern shook her head. ‘He’s only supposed to be her lodger. We’d end up in trouble if we did anything like that. Even here in Tiger Bay they don’t break those sorts of rules.’

  ‘We don’t have to stay here in Cardiff,’ he said stubbornly. ‘You could come back to Russia with me. They’re far more lenient over there. This fellow Lenin who is running the country now has made sweeping changes about all those sorts of things. We could live together and no one would raise an eyebrow or turn a hair.’

  ‘So how do I get to Russia? Do I stow away on the Saturn?’ Fern giggled.

  ‘I’m quite serious, so think about it,’ Glanmor told her as he kissed her long and hard before pulling away and standing up. ‘Come back to Russia with me and then we can be together,’ he repeated as he began to pull his clothes back on.

  ‘It means leaving Maria in the lurch.’

  ‘She’ll understand when you tell her the reason you are leaving. You can’t stay with her for ever, now can you? Anyway, she wouldn’t expect you to do so,’ he added without waiting for her to reply.

  ‘Maria’s been very good to me and I feel it’s up to me to look after her now she’s so frail,’ Fern protested.

  ‘She’s much better now. You said yourself that she’s even started coming back to work on Fridays.’

  ‘She’s not well enough to work on the stall all week, though. If I left, she’d have to give up either the stall or the pitch. As it is, it’s difficult coping with both of them.’

  ‘I’m sure she’d soon find someone else to take your place,’ Glanmor insisted. ‘In the meantime, this Rhodri boyo would give her a hand and keep an eye on her.’

  ‘It takes time to learn the job, though, and you said you might be leaving again in a couple of months,’ Fern went on, ignoring his jibe about Rhodri.

  ‘I’d better be going now because it’s well past midnight and you have to be up early in the morning. You mustn’t be late or you’ll be getting told off by Rhodri.’

  ‘You will look in on the stall sometime during the day?’

  ‘Of course I will. I’ll come at lunchtime and whisk you off to the Milk Bar for a snack while Rhodri keeps an eye on things, since he’s so good at doing that.’

  Fern’s mind was so full of all that had happened that evening and the things she’d talked about with Glanmor that although it was so late she was sure she would never sleep.

  After she’d locked the door behind him and made sure that the room was tidy she crept into bed as quietly as possible so as not to disturb Maria.

  As she snuggled down under the bedclothes, however, it was not all their future problems that filled her mind as she drifted off to sleep: as she put her head on the pillow all she could think about was the wonderful lovemaking she’d experienced when she’d been in Glanmor’s arms.

  Maria’s voice calling out to her that it was time to get up seemed to come within minutes. Bleary-eyed, she pushed back the bedclothes and forced herself to get out of bed and to go and put the kettle on to make a cup of tea for herself and Maria before she went to the Hayes.

  Had Glanmor being there last night and making love to her all been a dream? she asked herself as she washed her face under the kitchen tap and, shivering in the cold morning air, went back to her bedroom to get dressed.

  Chapter Twenty

  For the next few weeks, Fern found that life seemed to settle into a comfortable routine. Glanmor was as good as his word; he came to the Hayes at midday each day and whisked her off to the nearest Milk Bar for a hot drink and a snack while Rhodri kept an eye on her stall as well as his own.

  Glanmor also came to meet her each evening and walked back to Loudon Square with her. On Friday evenings he came to the station to meet her and walk her home, leaving Rhodri to escort Maria home from the Ha
yes even though at first he resented the fact that Rhodri stayed to share the evening meal as well.

  The atmosphere between the two men was cool although, reluctantly, Glanmor accepted that Rhodri was a very good friend to both Fern and Maria and meant nothing more than that to Fern. They had very little in common and the atmosphere on Friday evenings was nowhere near as easy-going as it was on other evenings.

  Occasionally, Glanmor and Fern went out in the evenings but because it was winter and the weather was so cold and unpleasant they usually preferred to sit by the fire, drinking tea and talking until Maria went off to bed at around nine o’clock.

  After that, once they were on their own, they wasted no time but enjoyed those magic moments that Fern looked forward to and which meant so much to both of them.

  When she was in Glanmor’s arms, when he was telling her how lovely she was and how much he loved her and needed her, all her other problems simply vanished. She wanted things to be like this for ever; she never wanted him to go away again.

  Their passionate lovemaking had come to mean so much to her. The guilt she had felt the first time they’d made love had long since been overcome. How could it be wrong to give and receive so much joy and pleasure? she told herself.

  The evening when Glanmor told them that the work on the Saturn had been completed and that once their new cargo had been arranged and stored on board they would be ready to sail for Russia, Fern felt that the bottom had dropped out of her world.

  He’d waited until they’d finished their meal and Fern had brought in the tray of freshly brewed tea and they were all sitting round the fire, relaxed and comfortable.

  ‘So does that mean that you are going to sail away without another care in the world?’ Maria asked.

  ‘Sail away, yes, but I won’t be carefree, Maria. I do have a very big problem.’

  Maria looked at him sharply. ‘Oh yes, and what’s that, then, boyo?’

  ‘I want to marry Fern before I sail; I want to make sure she’s here waiting for me when I get back.’