Ambitious Love

by Rosie Harris

  The woman folded her arms across her print pinafore. ‘I’ve already said she doesn’t live here, isn’t that enough?’

  ‘Sorry to have disturbed you,’ Fern retorted sharply. ‘I’m an old friend of hers, see, but I’ve been away for several years . . .’

  Fern stopped speaking as the door was shut in her face. Picking up her valise she made her way back down the three flights of stairs. She stood outside on the pavement wondering what to do next.

  There was only one way to find out, she reasoned, and that was to go and see if Rhodri could tell her what had happened while she’d been away and where Maria was living now.

  It had been so long ago that she had lived in Cardiff, and so much had happened since then, that Fern wasn’t too sure which house it was in Loudon Place where Rhodri had a room or even if he’d still be living there.

  She stood on the corner of the road feeling completely lost and wondering what on earth she was going to do. For a moment she wished she was back in her warm, luxurious apartment, not standing in the middle of Tiger Bay, shivering with the cold and uncertain where to go or what to do next.

  Perhaps, after all, she had been too hasty in leaving Paris so abruptly. Things might well have sorted themselves out if she had stayed and moved back in with the other girls and she would still have the job she loved as a dancer.

  It was too late now for recriminations, she told herself. She was back in Cardiff where, in her heart, she had yearned to be for such a long time, so it was up to her to make the best of it. She’d see if she could get a room for the night in the Westgate Hotel which was only a short distance away. In the morning, after a good night’s sleep, she’d be able to concentrate on what to do for the best.

  As she stooped to pick up her heavy valise, a deep masculine voice which seemed familiar said, ‘Would you like me to carry that? It looks far too heavy for you.’

  Fern looked up, startled at the sight of the tall, good-looking man in front of her. ‘Rhodri Richards!’ she gasped.

  ‘Fern?’ He looked equally astonished. ‘What a wonderful surprise!’ he gasped. ‘I was wondering what changes the New Year would bring but I never thought it would be seeing you again.’

  The next moment they were hugging enthusiastically and wishing each other a Happy New Year.

  ‘So what are you doing here?’ he asked as he released her. ‘With all that luggage, you must be paying us a visit at long last,’ he added with a laugh.

  ‘Not a visit. I’ve come back to Cardiff for good. I have just been to Loudon Square, hoping to see Maria, but it seems she’s moved. A complete stranger answered the door to me and she didn’t even seem to know Maria. As a matter of fact, I was on my way to ask you if you knew where she had moved to, but I couldn’t remember where you lived in Loudon Place.’

  ‘Then I’d better remind you where it is,’ he said, bending down and picking up her valise. ‘Come on, it’s too cold to stand around here chatting, we can talk over a cuppa.’

  ‘That would be more than welcome,’ she agreed. ‘So where has Maria gone to live?’ she asked as she hurried to keep up with him.

  ‘Let’s wait until we are indoors, then we’ll talk when we’ve had that cup of tea,’ he said evasively.

  The fire in his room had been banked down and Rhodri stirred it to life before lighting the gas ring and putting a tin kettle on it to boil. While he was doing this Fern removed her coat, scarf and hat. She eased off her heavy shoes because her feet were aching so much and settled down in an armchair.

  The moment Rhodri brought in their cups of tea and sat down she again questioned him about Maria’s whereabouts.

  Instead of answering her question he shook his head and looked so despondent that Fern felt rather alarmed. ‘Is it bad news?’ she asked hesitantly.

  He nodded. ‘Maria’s dead,’ he said quietly.

  Fern’s face clouded and her hand shook so much that she had to put down her cup and saucer.

  ‘When did it happen?’

  ‘Four years ago, not very long after you left,’ he told her.

  ‘I should never have gone away when I knew she wasn’t well,’ Fern murmured. ‘She was so good to me, it was selfish of me to leave her on her own.’

  ‘She wasn’t completely on her own. I did what I could for her,’ Rhodri said quickly.

  ‘Oh, I’m sure you did, I didn’t mean it like that; you were always looking out for her, the same as you always did for me,’ she added with a sad little smile.

  ‘I did try to get in touch with you but I had no idea what ship you and Glanmor were on. The shipping office could only tell me the name of his last boat and that was the SS Saturn which didn’t carry passengers only cargo, so I didn’t think you’d be on that.’

  ‘We were both on it; I stowed away the night it left port,’ Fern explained.

  ‘You did what?’ Rhodri’s eyes widened in surprise.

  ‘We couldn’t afford to pay for my passage so we thought that was the best thing to do.’

  ‘Duw anwyl! So what happened when they discovered you were on board?’

  ‘The captain wasn’t too pleased. However, he allowed me to stay until we reached Russia.’

  ‘So have you been in Russia ever since then?’

  ‘No, not all the time.’ Fern paused and picked up her cup and saucer and sipped her tea. ‘It’s too long a story to tell you all the details now, but I am back home again and it’s where I want to stay.’

  ‘What about Glanmor? Is he still at sea?’

  Fern shook her head. ‘In a way he is,’ she said, putting her cup and saucer down again. ‘Glanmor is dead.’

  She saw Rhodri shudder as briefly she told him about Glanmor’s terrible accident. The next moment he was at her side, his arm round her shoulders, giving her a comforting hug.

  ‘So much bad news for both of us,’ he muttered. ‘Will you let me take you somewhere for a meal? There is quite a lot more I have to tell you but I feel we should have some food and a glass of wine first to welcome you back and to celebrate our reunion.’

  ‘It sounds very tempting but think I ought to find somewhere to stay first,’ Fern demurred. ‘I was wondering if I might be able to get a room at the Westgate Hotel for tonight and then tomorrow look for something permanent.’

  ‘You could always stay here for the night,’ Rhodri suggested. ‘I would be quite happy to sleep on the sofa,’ he added quickly when she hesitated. He didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. ‘Anyway,’ he went on, ‘Let’s go and eat first and then you can decide.’

  ‘I’d be more than happy to stay here, if you don’t mind,’ Fern told him. ‘I hesitated because I’ve been travelling for two days and I wondered if I could freshen up before we go out.’

  Rhodri took her to a quiet little Italian restaurant tucked away down a side street off Bute Street. Since he seemed to be well known there Fern left him to order the food as well as the wine.

  They had so much to tell each other that they were still sitting there long after all the other customers had left but no one seemed to mind.

  ‘That was a lovely meal, Rhodri, and I feel so much better for it,’ Fern said smiling.

  ‘Good. There is one more piece of news I must tell you and I’d like to do it now while we are here. I thought perhaps it was better to wait until we had finished our meal because it concerns Maria. Before she died she gave me some money which she asked me to keep somewhere safe and give it to you when I next saw you.’

  ‘Money?’ Fern looked bewildered. ‘What money, she didn’t owe me anything.’

  ‘No, it was her life savings,’ he said quietly.

  ‘I don’t understand; I was under the impression that she was so hard up she couldn’t afford to keep me on as an assistant,’ Fern gasped in surprise.

  ‘She said that because she knew how much you wanted to be with Glanmor,’ Rhodri sighed. ‘She wanted the two of you to be happy more than anything else in the world.’

  Fern shook her head s
adly. ‘I wouldn’t have left if I’d known how ill she was.’

  ‘Once you’d gone she decided to sell her stall because she knew how desperately ill she was and that she was no longer fit enough to run it. As her health deteriorated still further she disposed of various other items she owned which she thought were valuable. Her final instructions to me were that after I’d paid off all her debts and her funeral expenses, the rest of the money was for you.’

  Fern brushed away the tears that had come to her eyes. ‘I don’t know what to say. I’d give anything to have her back here with us; that matters far more than any money she’s left me.’

  ‘It’s a tidy sum: nine hundred pounds, in fact. She hoped it would be enough to help you and Glanmor get a home and a future together,’ Rhodri added.

  ‘Nine hundred pounds!’ Fern’s eyes widened in shock. ‘Nine hundred pounds,’ she repeated in disbelief. ‘That’s a small fortune. I don’t know what I ought to do, especially since Glanmor is no longer here to share it with me.’

  ‘She would still want you to have it,’ Rhodri said firmly. ‘She thought a lot of you, Fern. She talked about you a great deal, you know. You were very special to her.’

  Fern looked at him in astonishment. ‘Even so, it is so unexpected that I really don’t know what to think.’

  They were interrupted from further discussion by the proprietor coming over to their table to ask if their meal had been to their satisfaction. Rhodri introduced him to Fern and he insisted on ordering another bottle of wine to celebrate her homecoming.

  Fern said very little because she was so utterly astonished by what had happened that she could think of nothing else. So much money. What on earth was she going to do with it all? She didn’t want to simply spend it, even though there were so many things that she needed.

  She wanted to do something very special with it; something that would be a permanent memory to Maria.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Fern had so much to ponder about that she didn’t think that she would possibly be able to sleep but, to her surprise, she did – from the moment her head touched the pillow.

  It was daylight when she opened her eyes and she had no idea what the time was or, for a moment, where she was. She stretched and then sat up in bed, smoothing her hair back from her face and looking around her.

  The tumultuous events of the previous day came crowding back into her mind. She had met up with Rhodri the day before and because she’d had nowhere else to go she’d spent the night in his bed; most important of all, she was back in Cardiff.

  She pushed aside the bedclothes; she couldn’t lie there all day because she had to find somewhere to live and a job. Then she remembered that it was Sunday so there was no point in rushing, nothing would be open.

  She went into the living room and wondered where Rhodri was. There was no sign of him and the blankets he’d used were folded neatly and piled up at one end of the sofa.

  She lit the gas ring and put the kettle on. While she was waiting for it to boil she washed her face at the sink and then went back into the bedroom to get dressed.

  Before she was ready she heard him come in, whistling cheerfully. She smiled to herself, wondering whether he was whistling because he was feeling happy or as a way of signalling to her that he was back.

  By the time she came out of the bedroom Rhodri had not only made the tea but also had a cup poured out and waiting for her.

  ‘I thought perhaps you’d gone to work, even though it’s Sunday,’ she said smiling.

  ‘No, I popped out to the corner shop to get some fresh milk,’ he said. ‘I thought you would prefer to have that in your tea, as I’ve only got tinned conny milk.’

  ‘Did you sleep at all?’ she questioned, nodding towards the blankets on the sofa.

  ‘Like a log; how about you?’

  ‘Yes, I slept very well.’ She smiled. ‘I didn’t expect to do so because there was so much going round and round in my head after our long talk last night. Even though we talked for hours you didn’t tell me very much about what you’re doing these days. Have you still got the stall in the market?’

  His smile vanished. ‘I did have, up until two days ago. The lease ran out on the thirty-first of December and they doubled the rent they were asking for, so I didn’t sign up to renew it.’

  ‘Why ever not? You’ve been trading there for years,’ Fern said in surprise.

  ‘You’ve been away for years, so you probably don’t know how things are these days. The miners went on strike last May and the next thing we knew it was a general strike and that affected the whole country, not just Cardiff.

  ‘The docks here were being manned by soldiers and a lot of firms went bankrupt. In fact, things have been very bad ever since. People haven’t any spare money to spend on things like records and musical instruments; some of them couldn’t even afford a mouth organ even if they wanted one,’ he added bitterly.

  Fern shook her head in dismay. ‘I had no idea; what are you going to do now?’

  Rhodri didn’t answer for several minutes. ‘Believe it or not,’ he told her when she pressed the question, ‘I was thinking of coming to look for you and Glanmor. I worked it out that since you hadn’t come back to Cardiff then life must be pretty good wherever you were. I know Russia is a big place, but I intended finding you, no matter how long it took.’

  ‘Good heavens! Were you missing us both that much?’ Fern said in surprise.

  ‘Well, yes, but there was also another reason; I wanted to give you the money that Maria left for you. It was burning a hole in my pocket and I was afraid that if I became desperate then I might be tempted to use some of it.’

  ‘If you were desperate enough for that I wouldn’t have minded and I’m sure Maria wouldn’t,’ Fern told him.

  ‘Maybe not, but I wouldn’t have liked doing it. The first thing I want to do after we’ve had some breakfast is hand it over to you.’

  ‘There’s no hurry,’ Fern said quickly. ‘Anyway,’ she added with a smile, ‘you can’t do much about it today because it’s Sunday and the bank won’t be open.’

  ‘It’s not in a bank,’ Rhodri told her. ‘Maria didn’t trust them, certainly not with all her life’s savings. She kept it under the mattress and that’s where I’ve put it.’

  ‘Are you telling me that I was sleeping on all that money last night?’ Fern gasped. ‘I wouldn’t have slept a wink if I’d known. Weren’t you worried and afraid someone might find out and you’d be robbed?’

  ‘Of course I was; I still am, which is why I can’t wait to hand it over to you.’

  ‘You can’t do that,’ Fern argued. ‘I haven’t even got anywhere to stay yet. The best thing is to leave it where it is until we decide what we’re going to do with it.’

  ‘We?’ Rhodri looked puzzled. ‘It’s your money, Fern; it has nothing to do with me.’

  ‘I still need you to advise me,’ she told him. ‘I’ve been racking my brains trying to think what to do with it. I feel it should be used as some form of tribute to Maria and I can’t think what that should be.’

  ‘I don’t think she would want a big shiny granite stone on her grave or a park bench with her name on it,’ he told her quickly.

  ‘I agree. It has to be something special that will help her to live on in our memory for ever.

  ‘She’ll always live in my memory,’ Rhodri muttered. ‘She was like a mother to me.’

  ‘She was to me as well,’ Fern admitted. ‘It’s because she meant so much to both of us that I think you should help me decide what to do with the money.’

  ‘Since you haven’t a job or anywhere to live then I think you should use it to get back on your feet,’ Rhodri told her gruffly.

  ‘No, I might use some of it to tide me over, but I want every penny of what Maria left to go into something more meaningful than that,’ Fern said stubbornly.

  They stared at each other in silence, absorbed in their own thoughts.

  ‘Perhaps we shou
ld use some of it to pay the rent on your stall at the Hayes market and then you could start up again and perhaps I could help you?’

  ‘Right fool I’d look, if I did that after more or less giving away all my stock,’ Rhodri said bitterly.

  ‘It needn’t be a stall at the Hayes. It could be somewhere else; or perhaps even a small shop in one of the arcades. Trade may have been bad but things will get better again – they always do, and music is one of the things most people enjoy.’

  ‘Did they enjoy music in Russia?’

  ‘Yes, of course they did; not only in Russia but in the whole of Europe.’

  ‘Not listening to music on records, though,’ Rhodri said gloomily. ‘From what you told me last night they preferred musical shows and the theatre and that sort of thing. Shows where there was something to look at as well as listen to.’

  ‘If they enjoyed the show, then they probably went home and played the music,’ Fern remonstrated. ‘They either bought records to sit and listen to or instruments so that they could play the tunes they’d heard.’

  ‘I suppose you’re right in a way; you probably know more about that side of things than I do,’ Rhodri conceded.

  ‘People also love dancing to music. It’s one of the greatest pick-me-ups in the world when people are feeling worried or depressed,’ Fern went on thoughtfully as she sipped her tea.

  ‘Perhaps we should go dancing, then, like we used to do on Saturday nights before you went to Russia,’ Rhodri joked. ‘It might help cheer us up and solve all our problems.’

  ‘That’s it!’ Fern sprang up and went over to where he was sitting and flung her arms round his neck and hugged him. ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’

  ‘Don’t get all excited, it’s only Sunday, so we have a whole week to wait,’ Rhodri laughed.

  ‘I didn’t mean we should go dancing; well, not in that way,’ Fern enthused. ‘You’ve given me a brilliant idea, though; you’re an absolute genius.’

  ‘Give me your cup and I’ll pour you some more tea. I don’t really know what you are on about so perhaps you’d better tell me,’ he added, looking bemused.