by A. m Madden
My admission appeased him a bit. “Between us, I worried she rushed into that decision.” That made two of us. His eyes drilled into mine. “Going through a pregnancy will be stressful enough. I just don’t want her getting hurt.” While it pissed me off that he assumed I’d be the one to hurt her, my history in already doing so didn’t bode well for me. Sensing my annoyance, he shrugged. “Sorry. I’m very protective of Riana. Ricky and I both are.”
He meant well, and getting off on the wrong foot with Cooper wasn’t something I wanted to do. Softening my expression, I responded honestly by saying, “We most definitely have that in common.”
Cooper began saying, “As long as—” His mouth clamped closed just as Riana sauntered back into the room.
“Everything okay?”
“Don’t you worry your pretty little bedhead about it,” he teased. “I take it combing your hair wasn’t what you needed to take care of?”
Her hand flew up to pat down the messy waves. “There better be a cinnamon raisin in there, Stanton… or I’m kicking you out.”
He dug into the bag and produced her required flavor with a smirk.
“Okay, you can stay.”
Riana seemed to sense the tension between Cooper and me during breakfast but kept things light through her conversation. We chatted about Ricky, who needed to be on the next voyage of their cruise ship because of a personnel issue. Planning for his return, Cooper nailed me down with an invite to dinner. He asked about my job, making me wonder if he was truly interested in what I did or if he was gathering information for future reference.
It wasn’t exactly a strained interaction. Speaking for myself, I had more I wanted to say before Riana reappeared, more I wanted to know. I could only assume Cooper had as well.
The opportunity to do so came shortly after when she wiped her mouth with a napkin and then said, “Okay. We need to talk.”
Cooper griped, “It took you long enough to say that.”
“I was thoroughly enjoying my cinnamon raisin bagel.” She folded her arms in a challenge. “So it’s obvious there’s an elephant in the room. Who wants to go first?” Cooper looked at me, I at him, and Riana huffed. “Fine. I will.” Her eyes connected with Cooper’s. “First, you need to know he’s not engaged or married.”
“I know that.”
“You do?” He nodded while Riana looked surprised but continued, “When we were a couple, Ryder had come back to New Jersey. He saw us together, on the beach. It was in the summer, before we…” Her pause held weight. “Well, before we both realized something was missing.”
Cooper glanced my way. “Why did you come back?”
“I wanted her with me in California. I never had the balls to ask when I left. She was in a new job, finally settled and over all the years of stress she endured after her mom passed away. I couldn’t bring myself to ask her to give all that up for me.” I flipped my focus to Riana. “I should’ve asked you all along. That’s on me. But like I said, after some time had passed, I made up my mind to go back for you.” Her big brown eyes glistened a bit while I went on. “I wasn’t surprised to see you with someone. Why wouldn’t you be? It was dumb to not ask before I took that leap of faith.” I then turned back to Cooper. “It’s a regret I’ll never get over.”
“But you did,” he countered. “You were engaged to someone else.”
“Cooper.”
“What?” he asked with a shrug.
“I was never engaged. That was a misunderstanding. Yes, I was in a relationship in California, but you can understand that sometimes things don’t work out.” His brows rose a tad at my dig. Undeterred, I kept my focus. “Seeing Riana in Miami that night, I knew right then and there I needed to try again. Only, she also assumed I was engaged based on something my best friend had told her when they ran into each other in Manhattan. And I also assumed you two were still a couple when you popped out looking for her at the club in Miami. Once we figured out that wasn’t the case, and we were both unattached, I wasn’t going to waste another minute apart.”
When I glanced at her, our eyes connected and held, until Riana pulled her gaze away to stare at Cooper. “For obvious reasons, my news became a barrier, though.” Cooper’s mouth flapped open just as Riana raised her hand. “Don’t say it.”
“You have no idea what I’m about to say.”
“Yes, I do… and I don’t regret any of it, Coop. That didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous to tell Ryder. I had no idea how he would take it.”
“Understandably. Any man would be shocked over that news. You are about to be pregnant. Mood swings, morning sickness, and all the other stuff that comes with it.” He waved a hand in my direction. “If Ryder is the one, you can’t blame me for feeling guilty tying you up with a pregnancy for the next year or so when you two should be reconnecting? Shit, Ree, you could be carrying our baby as we speak.”
They were discussing me as if I weren’t there. Sensing my annoyance, Riana threw me a smile that instantly calmed my nerves. She then turned toward Cooper and said, “Ryder understands why I did this and accepts my reason and my reality. He knows I’m in this for the long haul and may have to try again if it doesn’t work. Ryder coming back into my life at this point may be bad timing, but it happened for a reason.” She looked at me. “Right?”
“Right.”
As if not believing our verbal confirmation, Cooper studied my face. “Look, man. Am I concerned for Riana’s well-being? Of course I am.” He didn’t need to know why the entire situation freaked me out. Nor did he need to know that, like Riana, I didn’t want children someday. None of that mattered. What did matter was being with the one woman I ever really loved. So what was I to say, except the truth? “I know she’s getting the best care during this process. I know you and Ricky ensured she has everything she needs or wants… and I thank you for that. Mainly, I want her to be as stress-free as possible.”
Throwing my words back, he said, “We most definitely have that in common.”
“Good… then we’re on the same page all around.” The next thing I said I aimed at Riana. “She’s very important to me, and I’m not going anywhere.” Her fingers tightened between mine as Cooper considered my admission.
Only time would tell whether he was convinced of it or not.
Chapter Twelve
Riana
I had to admit: Ryder meeting Cooper lifted another weight off my shoulders. Sure, he still needed to meet Ricky, but it was Cooper I worried about. It could’ve been much more stressful than it was, especially if Cooper had harped on the fact Ryder had left me for his career. I know that was something Cooper could never understand. And Ryder being even more successful didn’t eliminate the possibility that could happen again.
When and if Cooper brought that up, I’d have no issue admitting I’d go with him. I also had confidence that Ryder would refuse the transfer if I chose not to go. Either way, in just one day’s time, I inexplicably believed coming together this time was the universe correcting both our mistakes.
I loved him.
I probably never stopped.
Ryder now knowing my truth and being okay with it has eliminated every single doubt I had to resume what we’d once shared. For the first time in a long time, my heart fluttered, and my stomach flipped with anticipation of having romance back in my life… romance with the man I’d once loved more than anyone and would love that much once again.
I did find it odd Ryder withheld his concerns from Cooper regarding complications that could occur from a pregnancy. My guess was he didn’t want to fuel Cooper’s fire, knowing it would upset me. I appreciated his censorship, because that would’ve absolutely sent Cooper down the “I told you so” road yet again. That didn’t mean Ryder’s fears hadn’t embedded into my heart.
Ryder emerged from the bathroom, smelling like my shampoo and looking sexy as hell in nothing but a towel. “What do you want to do today?” he asked, oblivious to my ogling. “I hate having to put on my clothes from yester
day after showering, so maybe we can do some shopping?” But at my silence, he only then noticed where my eyes were trained. “Don’t look at me like that, Ree.”
His demand forced my gaze back up to his face. “Like what?”
“Like you are remembering what’s under this towel.”
“I am remembering what’s under that towel,” I admitted without shame. Ever since we made out last night on my couch, I’d been fired up for more. Knowing Ryder as well as I did, he had purposely halted our romp to prove a point. Well, screw that point. I hadn’t had sex in a long time.
He placed his hands on his hips, only forcing my attention back down to that damn happy trail that never failed to make me stupid. “Ree. I think we should take things slow.”
“Why?”
“Because,” he snapped in frustration. “You just had VVF or whatever it’s called. You’re supposed to be resting.”
“IVF, and I’m pretty sure—” I stopped to rethink what I was about to say. Could I have sex? I had no idea. It wasn’t like when I was implanted on Monday that I had any inkling sex could be a possibility for me a few days later.
“Pretty sure what?” he prompted as I grabbed my phone to search for the information.
Sexual intercourse should be avoided for seven days after an embryo is transferred, to enable the pelvis to rest, allowing optimal time for proper implantation in the uterine wall.
Dammit.
“Um… nothing. Forget it.”
Ryder stepped closer and swiped the phone from my hand. “Well, that settles it.” The expression on his face mimicked my own. “So what do you want to do?” he asked, hovering above me, giving me an eye-level view of the bulge beneath the fluffy terry cloth—a bulge that seemed to be growing with each second that ticked by. “Beach? Relax here, maybe finish the movie we started last night? We can go to my place in Miami, have a late lunch or early dinner?”
The carnal desire to pounce on him forced me to stand from the bed and take three large steps away. “Any of those sound good.” As long as you don’t as much as lay a hand on me.
His gaze followed my path as an amused smirk lifted the corner of his lips. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. I need to shower too.” With that, he chuckled when I stomped into the bathroom, while every cell in my body pulsed traitorously.
The shower did nothing to settle my libido, and having him a room away made me cranky. It may have been easier had he not been in my condo, if he were in Miami along with any temptation he dangled before me.
Three more days. I can handle three more days.
Taking my time, I slipped on my favorite nightshirt, which happened to have been Ryder’s college football jersey, which I had dug out after I moved in. I knew him seeing me in it would drive him wild, and maybe it was a bit immature, but I wanted him to be as frustrated as I was.
After I went through my quick post-shower routine—teeth brushing, deodorant, lotion—I then blow-dried my wet hair, ready to get on with the day. Deciding I needed to get out of my place, running wasn’t an option since I was supposed to be taking it easy, but a drive or a nice long walk along the beach would do me good.
Expecting to enter an empty room, I jumped when I saw Ryder lounging on the center of my bed, shirtless, sockless, and in only his jeans. “What are you doing?”
His lips quirked into a smirk. “Nothing.” When his eyes roamed over my body, naked except for the oversize red jersey sporting his name on the back, he asked, “You kept it?”
“Yes.”
“Fuck, Ree,” he rasped out. His hand moved between his denim-clad legs to shamelessly adjust himself. Bastard wasn’t making it any easier on me. My response was a scowl before I turned toward my closet. “Come here, Riana.”
“I need to get dressed so we can get out of here,” I said over my shoulder, refusing to look at him.
“That can wait. Come here.”
The tone of his voice pulled my attention his way. “We can’t—”
“We’re not,” he interrupted. “Come. Here.” He placed his phone on my nightstand as I walked ever so slowly toward him. Once I reached the edge of the bed, he took my hand in his. “I’ve been researching. It seems having an orgasm stimulates blood flow and assists in implantation,” he said as he tugged me until I landed on his lap.
“It… um… it does?” I stammered like a lovestruck schoolgirl.
“It does.” The smile fell from his face when he nodded while staring at my lips. “And we both know there are ways of achieving that without fucking. Right?” I nodded, entranced by both the hold he had on me and his words. Expecting him to kiss me, he instead twisted us until I lay on the bed with him hovering above me. “Do you remember what always drove you wild?”
Was he kidding? It had been all I’d visualized while taking my shower. I whispered, “Yes,” prompting him to skim a hand over my hip and land on my bare upper thigh. His hand then slipped beneath the shiny fabric and lifted it to reveal my nakedness. The heat in his eyes worsened the heat traveling through me. He bent and placed a kiss on my hip. “I missed this birthmark.”
Usually, I would giggle at him paying attention to that dark mole I hated, but I couldn’t find the humor in it now. Instead, my heart pounded, and my chest heaved with anticipation of knowing what was about to occur.
“Ryder,” I whispered when he had yet to move.
A small smile spread as he then slid his hand between my legs. “Remember this, Ree? Remember how much you loved me touching you as foreplay? Remember how it would lead to me eating your pussy as you tugged on my hair? How we would fuck for hours and never tire?”
“Yes,” I groaned.
“I remember it too. But one step at a time. For now, I’ll stick to just the touching.” A gasp escaped the moment his fingertip landed on my clit. When he began a slow rotating pattern, I arched and moaned from the onslaught of sensations taking hold of my entire body, and I practically came right then and there.
It was all too much. His hypnotic gaze held me hostage while his touch ignited a fire that had smoldered for him for far too long. As I released a long, breathy sigh, he pressed his mouth to mine.
Ryder slipped back into a method he obviously remembered well—mimicking with his tongue the methodical circles, repeatedly moving over my hypersensitive flesh. The sensations traveled through me. He was building me up to the point of no return. But when he broke the kiss to stare into my eyes once again, and his fingers easily slid inside me before he pumped in a torturous rhythm, I couldn’t hold back any longer.
“I’m coming,” I admitted, feeling a deep blush color my cheeks because of the intensity with which he watched me become unhinged. And mostly because it took no longer than three minutes to get me there.
“Good,” he said, never wavering his movements. “Breathe, baby,” he then instructed when I unconsciously held my breath. Once I released the oxygen I had held in my chest, he crushed his mouth to mine, kissed me like our lives depended on it, and he gave me the best orgasm I’d had in a very, very long time.
It worked. Ryder managed to settle the beast that had been clawing within me. I had tried to give him some relief as well, knowing he had been worked up from my release, but he wouldn’t have it.
After we dressed, he in the same clothes he’d had on yesterday, we walked around the corner to a clothing store, where he purchased a few pairs of shorts, T-shirts, and underwear to keep at my place. A quick change later and there we were, walking along the beach hand in hand, reminiscing about our sex life.
“Is this conversation making things worse for you?” I asked when we planted ourselves on the powdery sand to watch the surf.
“Yes.”
I giggled at his one-word, emotionless response. “We can remedy that, you know.”
“I know. Eventually.” He wrapped an arm around me before adding, “I’m just counting my blessings right now, Ree. If someone had said to me a few weeks ago I’d be here with you, I wouldn’t have be
lieved it.”
“Yeah, me neither. Weird how things happen.” I went silent, trying to formulate what I’d been meaning to ask him since Cooper had left earlier. He seemed fine with the fact I could be pregnant as we spoke, but was he really? Ryder always had the ability to hide any worry or angst from me. I knew why he did, but sometimes it’d been frustrating to not know what he truly had been thinking.
A prime example was the way he had kept to himself how much he wanted me to move with him to California. That had been a shock to hear, mainly because I probably would have. Of course, hindsight was twenty-twenty, and he was right in his assumption at that point in my life I had been happy and content for the first time in a long time. But it had a lot to do with him.
I had been madly in love with him, and it hurt that he would think otherwise… that he would assume I’d rather be apart than give up my life to be with him. In his defense, I could have easily volunteered to go. I knew Ryder loved me. However, I’d worried he needed space and that was the real reason he hadn’t asked me to move.
Obviously, that was a dumb assumption. We were both idiots.
After a few long moments of silence, he asked, “What’s going through that beautiful head of yours?”
“I was just thinking how our relationship was almost perfect.”
“Almost?” he challenged with a raised brow.
Not wanting to make the same mistakes this time around, I nodded. “Yeah… almost. There was one thing we weren’t good at.” He waited out my pause. “Communication.”
Ryder held my gaze for a few seconds before turning toward the ocean. “You’re right.”
“We didn’t mean to hold things from each other,” I tried to placate. “I think in wanting to avoid hurting each other, we ended up doing just that.”
He brought his eyes back to mine and squeezed me closer. “I’m sorry, Ree. I really am.” His remorse broke my heart.
“It’s not all you, Ryder. I didn’t want to be that girl. The one that said to choose me. I also didn’t know if you needed to go for other reasons than just the opportunity. But in trying to be supportive and encouraging, I now realize how it may have looked like indifference to you.”
