No Turning Back, A Breaking the Rules Novel

by A. m Madden

  “I really wasn’t focused on that as much as my own issue. I worried by telling you to come with me, you would have. And I’d never know if it stemmed from guilt, or, as you said, to avoid hurting me.”

  “The regret that comes from our stupidity could easily cast a shadow on us going forward.” I shifted just a bit to turn toward him. “So I need you to promise me something.”

  “Anything,” he answered easily.

  “We can’t make the same mistake this time. We need to say what we feel, no matter how much it may hurt to hear.”

  Those gorgeous blue eyes drilled into mine. “I promise.” He then pressed his lips to my temple for a chaste kiss. “I promise to talk to you and not withhold.”

  “Me too.” Relaxing into his muscular body, I stared at the ebb and flow of the seas before us. Even as each wave violently crashed onto the sand, the way it calmly retreated into itself, leaving a smooth surface behind, gave me a sort of metaphorical comfort. Still needing assurance of the main issue at hand, I asked yet again, “Having said that, are you really okay with me being a surrogate?”

  Ryder dragged in a deep breath before speaking. “I’m scared. I can’t handle anything happening to you, Ree.” He stopped to lift me onto his lap before continuing. “But I meant it when I said that my issues came second to you… that I want to be with you, and it was as simple as that.”

  While studying his handsome face, I placed a palm on his strong jaw. “I’ll do my best to ease those fears. I promise.”

  “I know you will.”

  When his mouth opened and then closed as if he’d thought better of whatever he was about to say, I asked, “What? Tell me, Ryder.”

  “I love you. I always have, and I always will.” He looked directly into my eyes, into my soul, and repeated, “I love you, Riana Carter, and nothing will ever stop me from loving you.” His admission brought tears to my eyes. The corners of his lips lifted into a smile as he skimmed a fingertip across my cheek. “Don’t cry.”

  Easier said than done, and through my tears I admitted, “I love you, too, Ryder Carter.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Ryder

  Together, we made a simple pasta dinner before relaxing on her couch. During it all, I couldn’t stop thinking of Monday quickly approaching and of us being apart. I hadn’t felt this way in a long time… not since her. It went beyond the excitement that came with a new relationship. It was about having that one person beside you, who knew you better than anyone else. That had been missing for far too long, and I desperately craved it back in my life.

  As Julia Roberts and Richard Gere made out on the screen—my girl still loved her romance—I blurted out, “Live with me.”

  She twisted her head in shock. “Wait… what?”

  Now that I had Riana back, really had her back, I wasn’t willing to let her out of my sight. That may have been unrealistic when she lived in Fort Lauderdale, and I lived in Miami… when she was waiting on results of the IVF procedure and needed to rest, and I needed to go to work every day. But… why the hell couldn’t we make it realistic?

  “Live with me,” I repeated.

  “That’s ludicrous Ryder,” she argued before turning her focus back to the movie.

  “Why?”

  “You need to be in Miami, and I need to be here.”

  “Really, you don’t,” I challenged. Her expression clearly disagreed with that. “Hear me out. Why can’t you stay with me on weekdays, and I come here on weekends?” The way her line of sight bounced from one eye to the other, along with her silence, meant she didn’t have an answer for me. “You can easily do what you planned to do at my place. I’m not far from the beach, and there are tons of shops within walking distance. You can even work on your foundation. I’ll set you up with an office in my spare bedroom.” There was probably at least a dozen more reasons, but I went with the only one that mattered. “I want to live with you.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “As a fucking heart attack.” The frown that creased her forehead was unexpected. Maybe I was being too open and honest, becoming more concerned when she continued to remain silent. “Talk to me. Too soon? Am I freaking you out?”

  “No, it’s not that. I don’t want to be a distraction to your job.”

  Always putting others first, her admission wasn’t at all surprising. “Ree, the distraction would be knowing I had five more days, four more days, even one more day before I saw you again. And I know it’s not that far, and I could easily come to you during the week. But I also know the last thing I’d want to do is leave and go home to an empty bed.” When she still hesitated in agreeing, I pulled her into my arms and prodded further. “Babe, we lost three years being stupid. I’m done wasting time.”

  “My doctors are in Fort Lauderdale. I’d have to be there for appointments,” she said in a desperate attempt to state the obvious.

  “Of course you do. That still leaves many days when you can be in Miami.” When she continued to stare at me, I knew her wheels were in motion but probably needed a touch more grease. “This isn’t us merely starting something… it’s us continuing what we had.”

  After a few more seconds of pondering, she shook her head yet contradictorily said, “Okay, let’s do it.”

  My grin was instant, and hers followed right behind. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Like a magnet, I playfully nibbled on her lips before moving mine across her cheek and down the side of her neck. By tracing a familiar path, my cock throbbed not only from her intoxicating scent but also from hearing the tiny moans she gifted me with.

  Continuing would be torture for me, but I didn’t care. Pleasuring her was all I could think about at that moment. And because of that, I positioned her horizontally on the couch while she watched in a daze as I kneeled beside it. In one fell swoop, off came her stretchy pants, along with the lace panties beneath. When I lifted one of her legs and draped it over my shoulder, the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest began to quicken.

  Keeping my eyes pegged to hers, I first kissed her mole and then slanted my mouth across the silky skin on her hip. She was so smooth, so soft, so sweet. Part of me wanted to consume her savagely, while another wanted to savor her. It’d been too long since I last tasted her, and my anticipation undoubtably rivaled hers.

  From there, I skimmed over to her clit, and she whimpered softly. But when I pulled her between my lips and sucked, she dug her fingers into my hair as the whimpers became a sharp inhale. I looked up to see her eyes tightly closed, her lip caught between her teeth.

  “Look at me, Ree.” She followed my command, and I held her prisoner with my gaze. Her own eyes were unable to hide the heat and lust that swirled in their chocolate depths. It was such a turn-on for me. When I then sucked on her forcibly, she bucked against my mouth, begging me not to stop. I had no plans to. Never breaking stride, I stroked her clit with the tip of my tongue and slipped my middle finger inside her.

  Another sexy moan came, along with a few Oh Gods and my name tossed in here and there for good measure. It didn’t take long… seconds before she tightened around me and trembled. Not until she calmed did I stop licking, and then I removed my finger, bringing it to my mouth to finish tasting her essence.

  While she stared down at me still between her legs, her grip loosened in my hair. “Ryder,” she said my name like a prayer. Raw desire continued to course through her even though her orgasm had ended.

  “Seeing you come apart has always been so fucking sexy. I missed doing that to you, Ree.”

  “And you were always so talented at doing that,” she admitted through a devilish smile. “Give me a minute to catch my breath, and I’ll remind you of my talents as well.”

  I placed one more kiss on her clit before moving her leg off my shoulder to sit on the edge of the couch beside her hip. “Don’t you worry about me, babe. I’m fine,” I lied. I wasn’t fine.

  Knowing better, she raised a brow. “You do
n’t look fine.” When she traced a finger over my predicament, I snatched her wrist and shook my head. Instead, I bent forward to kiss her lips, but a pout spread before my mouth landed on hers. “Stop being a martyr, Ryder.”

  “I’m not being a martyr. I’m merely reacquainting myself with your body.” I then closed the remaining distance to kiss her. It never failed… the moment we connected that electric charge between us crackled through my core before settling into a hot pulse low in my cock. And the carnal, tormented moan I couldn’t hold back contradicted my claim of being fine.

  It caused her to pull away to stare into my eyes. “Why are you being so stubborn?” I really wasn’t sure why. Maybe, ensuring Riana knew she was a priority to me now, because I had failed to make her one in our past, drove my motive? Actually, that most definitely drove it.

  Deciding to be honest again, I said, “My condition isn’t what’s important at the moment, Ree.” I helped her put on her panties and pants, repositioned us as we were on her couch, and kissed the top of her head. “What is important for now is holding you in my arms, sleeping beside you all night long, and waking to your beautiful face tomorrow.”

  After spending a lazy Sunday morning at her condo, I helped Riana pack a bag of clothing and her favorite toiletries to bring to my place. For the time being, we planned to have her stay a few nights. She decided to go back on Wednesday to let Cooper and Ricky know of our living situation. Whether I would be there for that conversation or not, she hadn’t yet decided.

  I didn’t take offense. To anyone outside our little euphoric bubble, what we were doing would probably seem too hasty. I really didn’t care how it looked. She and I were on the same page, and that was all that mattered.

  “Ready?” I asked once she’d zipped up her bag.

  She gave me a beautiful smile. “I am.” Not being able to resist, I pulled her into my arms for a long, passionate kiss. “What’s that for?” she asked when we pulled apart.

  “No reason besides I needed to.” I took her bag in one hand, and her hand in the other, and led her toward the door. A few seconds later, we were in the elevator on our way to my condo in Miami.

  The doors opened in the lobby to reveal a guy holding a sack of dog food. “Hey, Ree,” he said just as her step faltered.

  “Oh, hi, Damon.” As his eyes homed in on our clasped hand, she went on to say, “This is my… um… this is Ryder.”

  “The boyfriend,” I offered, helping her out a bit. At seeing my frown, she quickly looked away.

  “Gotcha.” His attention flew back to Riana. “You look great. How’s the apartment?”

  “I love it.” Feeling the need to elaborate who this fucker was, she turned to me and said, “Damon is actually Ricky’s cousin. He helped me find this apartment.”

  “Gotcha,” I echoed, as he literally looked me up and down. I did the same.

  Riana must have sensed this asshole had a problem with me and deflected by pointing to the dog food. “Did you get a dog?”

  “Actually, I’m temporarily watching my friend’s golden retriever. My bartender’s newborn is highly allergic. It kills him to have to give her away, but he doesn’t have a choice.”

  “Oh no,” Riana said around a gasp. “That’s terrible. What if you don’t find her a home?”

  “She’ll end up in a shelter.”

  “What’s her name?”

  “Kayla. She’s two years old, fully trained, fixed, and shots are up to date. A real sweetheart. I would keep her myself if my bar hours weren’t an issue.”

  She suddenly blurted out, “I’ll take her.” As if she only then remembered where we were headed, her head flipped my way. “Oh… um… shit. I can’t.” Those big brown eyes sadly stared at me no differently than a puppy would.

  Remembering Riana had always wanted to get a dog and would dogsit for every one of her friends’ canines, I offered, “Baby, my building allows pets.”

  “His building?” Damon asked Riana, even though I wasn’t the one who’d spoken. “You’re moving out?”

  “Not exactly. I’ll be spending a lot of time with Ryder at his condo in Miami, and we’ll be here on the weekends.”

  “I thought you were single?”

  Seriously? Who the fuck was this guy?

  “Aren’t you in Florida like a month?”

  Riana blushed. “It’s a long story.”

  That fucker actually scowled. Proud of her for not sidestepping his question, and of myself for not punching him in the face, I asked him to give us a minute before pulling her out of his earshot. “We can take her if you want.”

  “Really?” Her hand gripped mine while her expression turned from uncomfortable to excited. “It’s a huge commitment, Ryder. Are you sure?”

  “Absolutely.” She searched my face for a sign of doubt. “I’ll feel better knowing you have company during the day.”

  “You’re amazing; you know that, right?”

  “I try,” I said with a wink before kissing her sweetly. But before she could head back over to Damon, I leaned closer and whispered, “And when we get home, you’ll fill me in on why your friend is ogling my girlfriend.”

  “There is nothing there. He’s just that… a friend. He asked me out, but I felt no connection to him.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  When my smile spread ear to ear, she gave me an eye roll. “Yeah, you look very sorry.” She then turned toward Damon. “We’ll take her!” she squealed, her voice echoing through the lobby.

  Whatever stick had been stuck up his ass seemed to dislodge. “That’s great, guys. Thank you. Eric was worried sick and will be so happy. Especially if he can visit her every now and then.”

  “Of course he can. When can we arrange to get her?”

  “Do you have time now?”

  “Now?” she asked, surprised. Riana once again looked at me for some sort of guidance, and my nod and smile fueled her excitement even more. “Okay, then… now it is.”

  “Awesome. She’s in my apartment. I have everything she needs—food, leash, bowls. I hate to rush you, but I need to be at the bar in an hour and feel bad that she’d be alone for the next ten or so hours.”

  When they both looked at me, I said, “Let’s go meet our new dog.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Riana

  A few days ago, I was a single woman living in Fort Lauderdale. Today, I had a boyfriend, a dog, and a second home in Miami. All because Ryder wouldn’t give up on me.

  But just as my life had changed so drastically, so had his. Regardless, he’s been amazing, even with my hasty decision to adopt a dog. That had to have been the most impulsive thing I had ever done. I was a planner. Even deciding to be a surrogate, of which I had no regret, had been carefully thought through and pondered.

  Funny, though, any concern I had regarding Kayla was in vain… because the moment we met her, Ryder fell hard and fast. Probably harder than I had. And, truth be told, Kayla was just as smitten with him. Damon was right—she was just the sweetest thing ever.

  Once we got to Ryder’s place, she and I excitedly explored his condo. It was so him—masculine, warm, inviting. Much larger than mine, it had a huge great room that could easily entertain a few dozen people at once. Two full baths, one in each bedroom, a half bath off the living space, and an impressive laundry room—and not merely a closet like I had. He also had the most amazing bathroom I’d ever seen, including a spa-like shower and freestanding tub. And along with the massive main bedroom with his king-size bed facing the floor-to-ceiling window, his place made me want to say screw Fort Lauderdale and move in forever.

  The best part: he had a spectacular view of downtown Miami with a balcony that ran the entire length of his condo. I could see myself sitting out there in the mornings, having a cup of tea, with Kayla resting at my feet. It seriously took no time at all to envision what my life would be like with Ryder.

  He chose well when he picked a building with amazing amenities. Gym, pool, and a
rooftop deck were at our fingertips. There was even a doggie park a half block away.

  Once we unpacked Kayla’s stuff, from where her dog bed would be to the cabinet dedicated to her food and treats, Ryder helped me unpack my things. It wasn’t long after when we settled on his large comfy couch, staring at the beach while Kayla chewed on what apparently was her favorite toy, based on all the gnaw marks riddling its surface.

  “You know, this doesn’t feel strange at all,” he said as he played with my hair.

  “Well, that’s good… I guess. It would suck to have to repack everything and move me out an hour after I moved in.” I twisted my head to look up at him. “Something tells me if I got the boot, Kayla wouldn’t.”

  He tugged the strand between his fingers. “Ha-ha. Neither of you is getting the boot. I meant it feels like we’ve been doing this for years. Hanging out in our home, our dog noisily chomping away. I love it.”

  “I do too.” Between having Ryder in my life, and now being a doggie mom to Kayla, I didn’t think I’d ever been this happy before. Which was a profound realization, since I was very happy when we were together years ago… and even with Cooper for most of our relationship.

  This was more than happiness… it was utter contentment. I meant it when I said things had always been easy with Ryder. We’d rarely fought, argued, disagreed. We’d spared each other any negatives that may have plagued us. Then again, that had been a huge part of our problem.

  By admitting that we truly sucked at communicating in the past, it felt like I had flipped a switch in both of us. We really did see this as a second chance to get it right, and so far, we were on the right track. He has since opened up quite a few times, and I appreciated it. But he also made it obvious that my happiness was his priority. He was so eager to make me happy, I was afraid he’d do anything to make me happy. Knowing that stemmed from guilt that he still carried over leaving, I needed to be mindful of that going forward. And he needed to get over that, because I wasn’t innocent in our breakup situation either.